hayleyfrazier

  • Mavi posted an update in the group Group logo of ShystraddlersShystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago

    I’m openly/obviously gay and have been all of my life…so I should be comfortable around lesbians. But I’m not. I’m not shy around anyone else, strangers love me, I have a pretty strong social net of straight people, my family and I are very close. I just seem to repel other lesbians. What am I doing wrong?

    • The possibility of romantic or sexual interest makes you nervous?

      • Nope. I wish it was that simple. I’ve only really liked two lesbians, romantically/sexually. Both times I felt as comfortable with them as I do with all of my straight friends. It was easy, like we were already connected. We’re still friends, but we live in different cities.

        Most of the time, when I meet other lesbians, I’m not even…[Read more]

        • Personally, the higher the stakes, the harder it is for me. The more I like someone and want to impress them, the less impressive I am because I clam up! It’s a curse. So whether it’s my boss, a beautiful girl or someone who I think is much cooler/smarter/more interesting than me, I struggle. When I don’t care about someone’s opinion, I am able to…[Read more]

          • I can see how that logic might come into play, but that’s not me. I’m pretty much the same person to everyone I meet. I’m weird in that I really like me, I’d totally hang out with me. I’m pretty sure other people will like me too, it’s just a matter of meeting them. Besides, at my age, I don’t place too much value on relationships that haven’t…[Read more]

  • magiclovemuffin posted an update in the group Group logo of ShystraddlersShystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago

    If there was ever a group for me to join! Lately, my anxiety has made work weird. (I’ve worked here about 2 months. New city, new state… moved here for job.) I know these (straight) girls at work think I hate them, and I don’t, I just don’t want to go to bars with them because as the group states, I experience CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY and especia…[Read more]

    • i’m glad you feel better having said it. sometimes we just need to rant at the universe and it makes things better. :)

    • good on you, muffin. keep on keeping on and do what you can.

    • I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. You have endure a lot with moving to a new city, etc. I can clearly see why these things can up your anxiety. I don’t think the girl should have said, ” We think you hate us.” Just because your not interested in going to a bar doesn’t mean you dislike the person that asked, sometimes…[Read more]

  • This group is so quiet. Controversial discussion topic! Fake meats: yay or nay?

    Personally, I say nay. I stopped eating meat because the thought of it grosses me out, so why would I eat something that allows the consumer to pretend they are eating meat? I once ate a Quorn chik’n patty that resembled chicken so much I stopped eating after a few…[Read more]

    • Yeah I read about meat glue and how they use it to make fake cuts like filet mingon
      uh HUh so I am moving more and more to just fresh veggies and salads love my ROMAINE lettuce so crunchy!!!

    • I’m all for it. I mean, there are researchers out there working on growing meat in petri dishes, and I think that’s awesome. People eat meat because they think it tastes good. If it’s possible to make cruelty-free meat (or fake meat) that still tastes good, I’m not sure what the problem is. It would just encourage more people to eat less of the real deal.

    • I think it can be a good aid for the transitional period right after someone becomes a vegetarian. My transition to vegetarianism was extremely sudden. I saw some cows get shot for food and never touched meat again. I had all these cravings and eating fake meat (veggie burgers and a lot of the Morningstar Farm products) got rid of those…[Read more]

    • I think it’s good for sudden “food urges,” like fake Italian sausage to go with my sauteed onions and peppers, or fake bologna to put in my epic sandwiches. I don’t miss the taste of meat, but I do miss certain foods that I enjoyed when I used to eat meat. But I’m suspicious of the looong list of ingredients in fake meat, and so in general they…[Read more]

    • Oh nooo, fake veggie buffalo wings are the SHIT. that and the tofurky italian sausage which made a pleasant addition to my spicy jambalaya that i made for my little evening shindig. So, I’m suspicious most of the time, like I just tried “fake” bacon strips and they taste like cardboard. But, as a black woman, I grew up eating “soul food” which…[Read more]

    • I almost always regret eating fake meat on the rare occasions that I do. I just think they’re so heavy and heavily processed, tofu all the way!!

    • …I avoided fake meats at all costs the first five or six years I was a veg. Somewhere along the line (I think it was when I first discovered tempeh and seitan, or when I went vegan?) I got over the ick-factor, and now make seitan from scratch about once a month, to the extreme delight of many of my friends. I’m also hopelessly in love with the…[Read more]

    • I think I agree that fake meat is a good transitional tool. I was making fake chicken finger subs and tacos when I went veg. A big part of why I stopped is I don’t think loading up on soy every day is a great idea. Maybe my disfavor toward fake meats is misplaced. I mostly just thought that Q’uorn chik’n patty tasted and had a texture far too much…[Read more]

    • I wasn’t really into fake meats in the beginning for a similar reason – it tasted like meat and weirded my head out too much. But 17 years later, I’ve forgotten what meat tastes like and can enjoy a Red Bamboo nugget (or five. YUM) and homemade seitan in a stir-fry. I would LOVE to figure out how to make delicious “chicken” nuggets though. Anyone…[Read more]

  • Rinnie posted an update in the group Group logo of ShystraddlersShystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago

    Okay, I need to shake off this crippling shyness ASAP and find some local gay friends because I want to go to a Pride Festival and how sad and pathetic would I be just wandering around on my lonesome, unable to really feel like I’m a part of the festival since I won’t know a single soul. :( I am sick of feeling so isolated.

    • I bet you could find a group that’s going to and insert yourself into it somehow. There’s got to be an online community or group organizing or partaking. Not sure how big your city is. But even if you break off with them because you’re not meshing or your uncomfortable, at least you gave it a go.

      • My biggest problem is that I live in a small town (seriously small, only about 250 people) and the nearest big city with any sort of gay community is almost an hour away, so making friends there is doubly hard. Going through the online groups is a great suggestion. Thanks!

    • See, this is a solution that might work for me. I do have straight friends who would probably go with me, and I think any awkwardness would be worth it as long as I wasn’t all alone in a big crowd (it makes my stomach knot up just to think about it). That’s awesome about the drag queens at the Colosseum — sounds like a fun time!! :D

    • Maybe I’m weird, but I totes would have grabbed one of those flyers and made it into a souvenir. :p

    • i went to my first pride parade last year with a straight friend. her brother is gay. it was not weird at all.

      just find a friend and ask them to go with. it’s a road trip, a parade, glitter, rainbows, and omg GAY PEOPLE! it’s so very nice and life affirming.

  • Grilled vegetarian sub from Penn Station for lunch. Win!

  • Lucy posted an update in the group Group logo of ShystraddlersShystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago

    I was really shy as a kid. I’ve changed a lot in the past decade or so, but only in person. On the internet, I am as shy as I was when I was when I used to bring books to playdates. Why is that?

    • i should think it would be the other way around (that’s how it is for some of us). still shy in person, but more outgoing online.

      are you nervous about the ease of rejection by anonymous peeps or being ignored? i’ve found that to be a problem online. i interact more or less as i would in person, but some people have very rude/inconsiderate ways…[Read more]

      • Yeah, it doesn’t really make sense to me, either. I guess I’m afraid of being ignored, maybe? It’s like, I wish I could strike up conversations with people online, but I don’t even know how. I think I’ve developed a methodology for dealing with others in person–strategies for breaking the ice, being comfortable as myself, ways of handling it when…[Read more]

    • bringing books to playdates! that’s the cutest thing ever.

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