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RK joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Mary joined the group
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discospider joined the group
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al posted an update in the group
Been dating GF for 2 years. Have a move in the near future, we’ll be splitting up then. How do I keep it from weighing on me, especially when we’re together? It’s killing what’s left of the relationship.
Thanks.-
Ooh, this is a tough one. I had a relationship that had to transition into long distance while I went to grad school, so I kind of know the feeling you’re describing. Well, I assume that even though you’re not going to be dating after the move, you’ll still keep in touch, yes? I’d suggest something like starting to use Skype now and have video…[Read more]
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The Skype idea is a great one. I found myself in a relationship that in abruptly became long-distance, and I found it really hard to connect emotionally in the same way over Skype, because it is such a different way of communicating, it took ages to get used to.
As Raksha says, good even if it’s more keeping in touch than keeping up a…[Read more]
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Alexandra joined the group
Photostraddlers 12 years, 5 months ago -
Alexandra joined the group
Straddle your Feminism 12 years, 5 months ago
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Katy joined the group
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Roo posted an update in the group
Hi, so I need some advice on how to let down straight guy friends with crushes on me without making them crazy and annoying and turning them into stalkers :@ This has happened twice recently and I’m in an environment where straight boys are pretty much my only friends. I’m single, and I used to have a boyfriend and am somewhat bi but am currently…[Read more]
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well if you look at it this way, if you were straight you wouldnt be interested in them, so i guess any usual strategy of rejection would be fine. generally if i get the idea that someone is interested in me that isn’t reciprocal i distance myself from them for a bit, but not enough to seem like im ignoring them completely. if they make ANY flirty…[Read more]
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I would avoid saying you’re not into them because you’re only into girls right now – that gives the impression that if, in the future, you decide you are closer to the center of the Kinsey Scale and that you are into dating boys again, that they would then have a chance with you. (Not saying that is necessarily going to happen, but you did say y…[Read more]
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I personally find honesty the best policy. I suppose it depends how close you are with them. But I would probably confront them and let them know it’s nothing personal but it that it can be upsetting. Talk about how it makes you feel rather than laying any blame if you can get them to see it from your perspective. I’ve found the following phrase…[Read more]
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Photostraddlers 12 years, 5 months ago -
Leslie posted an update in the group
Hi, I’m in the process of coming out but don’t have any lesbian or gay friends to talk with about it. My biggest question (so far) is do I attend lesbian/gay events even though I am someone who has no experience yet? I worry that it would be like misrepresenting myself, even though I’m pretty sure I want to be with women. Any advice?
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Maybe I’m wrong, but I think it would be best for you to GO AHEAD AND ATTEND! If anything, you’ll meet like-minded individuals who may be able to help you with the wonderous adventure that is “coming out,” even if only to yourself (and maybe those few like-minded individuals..)
Either way, events are super fun. -
Having online friends can really help. Maybe you can find some here or on other sites that you can talk to about what you’re going through?
(If you want to message me that’s cool :) )If you’re brave enough to do it, I say go ahead. I went gay clubbing by myself a few times and ended up making a couple of friends to go out with, including another…[Read more]
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i agree. just go for it. there is no secret initiation at which you’ll get your Real Gay Lady card and learn the handshake. if you feel like you want to be there, you belong there. done and done.
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yodelmachine, I feel like every time I see you comment on AS, you are saying things both lovely and wise.
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Are any of your straight friends LGBT-friendly? Maybe you could take them with you to events if you’re nervous. Just don’t bring any straight dudes with lesbian-porn fantasies, and it’ll be fine.
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My friends are LGBT-friendly in theory, but I have no idea how they will react to me coming out. This whole thing is pretty overwhelming right now. Reading the article here today about labels made me realize that I’m worrying a lot about that. Perhaps the “just be who you are” part of that article is what I should be doing.
Thanks to you and…[Read more]-
How are things going with you now? I’m in the same boat as you were in and hopefully things really do get better!
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Claire joined the group
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Photostraddlers 12 years, 5 months ago -
claire22 posted an update in the group
Ok, so I’m currently doing Ethics A-level (final year of school) and unfortunately part of this involves sex and relationships. That involves looking at contraception,adultery, relationships in general and…homosexuality. I am currently prepping for an essay on this and I am struggling because I have to consider the possibility that…[Read more]
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Maybe you don’t need to turn it off, but rather use it to your advantage? The better informed you are about the opposition’s point of view, the better you can rip it to shreds. Read up on it avidly and critically and it’ll make you that much stronger of an advocate for yourself. That said, I do recognize that panicked, hyperventilating kind of…[Read more]
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I totally dig maddieO’s approach. :) If you need more help, let us know!
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Thanks that really helped :). I got the essay done, though it wrecked my whole day at school, but I got a B (my target grade) and the teacher said “it reads like a rant…very fun to mark!”
That’s because it was a rant. -__-
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cindy posted an update in the group
To all question bi-dar and gaydar related.
I generally tend to flirt or what’s wrong with a straight up asking someone? Just go for someone you think is hot, you have nothing to lose esp if they are giving you the signals.-
Except sometimes they’ll flirt with you for an hour and then mention their girlfriend. It’s annoying and awkward, but nobody ever died of awkward. :D
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I’m just super lucky and end up hitting on girls in front of their girlfriends like 90% of the time. I’ve even given a girl a rose in front of her girlfriend :P
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Once, I went to a lesbian dance night for a friend of a friend’s birthday. I had a little bouquet of flowers from my garden as a gift for the birthday girl, and a super-hot chick asks me for one. Thinking she was flirting, I handed off a sprig. Then she told me she was straight….
….and then she asked her friends if they’d seen a girl named…[Read more]
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I have def wanted to, though ;)
I guess you have to be comfortable outing yourself to someone who might be straight and be uncomfortable with lady love or being hit on by another woman. I live in a smaller city where it’s very difficult to do stuff like that without it becoming common gossip amongst my ‘circles’, maybe it’d be easier for people…[Read more]
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