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CatD joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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sarah joined the group
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Avery joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Gabrielle joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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Ash posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
Alright guys, to start off with, I go to a college church service.
My parents stipulate that if I’m here for the summer I have to go to some kind of service. I don’t mind at all (I’m not incredibly devout, but I believe) and the church I go to is your run of the mill large middle class conservative, non-denominational place. Warehouse size, got…[Read more]-
Do they have Unitarians in tour neck of the woods? If your parents allow it, jump ship and go to a UU service instead. I’d be terrified this guy is going to be all smiles and hugs to my face and “ASH IS A LESBO APOLOGIST KILL THEM WITH FIRE” behind my back.
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I doubt conservative Christians would consider UUs to be “real Christians.” But maybe a more open-minded Protestant denomination?
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There are definitely more liberal branches of traditionally Christian churches–locally I know of Methodist and Anglican (not Episcopalian) churches which are quietly accepting while still appearing to be your run of the mill Protestants if you don’t dig too deep in their websites.
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Oh! And definitely do your research because 1. you may end up with a branch you really love as a result and 2. you have an answer ready if your parents ask why you picked it–“I love the beauty of Episcopalian service” “Calvinist doctrine speaks to me” and so on
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Quakers are a safe bet to be non-homophobic, my experience of Quaker service is that a lot of queers go there because it is welcoming. If you need reasons like the one Rie gives, ‘the simplicity of Quaker worship really allows me to focus on the essentials of my faith’ ;)
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If you want to learn more about scripture from a critical angle I recommend: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/ They also have a Skeptic’s Annotated Qu’ran and Book of Mormon.
If you’re prefer something that is more pro-religion you could also look into the writings of liberal theologians and religious scholars like Marcus Borg, Karen Arm…[Read more] -
A really great read is “the God box” by Alex Sanchez, although a work of fiction all the facts are correct as it uses bible passages and historical evidence plus logic to dispell the myth of god hates gays. On his website he also has many links to more evidence for many different religions (including sects of Christianity):
http://www.alexsanchez.com
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Ash joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Rachel joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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Mavi posted an update in the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
I’m openly/obviously gay and have been all of my life…so I should be comfortable around lesbians. But I’m not. I’m not shy around anyone else, strangers love me, I have a pretty strong social net of straight people, my family and I are very close. I just seem to repel other lesbians. What am I doing wrong?
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The possibility of romantic or sexual interest makes you nervous?
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Nope. I wish it was that simple. I’ve only really liked two lesbians, romantically/sexually. Both times I felt as comfortable with them as I do with all of my straight friends. It was easy, like we were already connected. We’re still friends, but we live in different cities.
Most of the time, when I meet other lesbians, I’m not even…[Read more]
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Personally, the higher the stakes, the harder it is for me. The more I like someone and want to impress them, the less impressive I am because I clam up! It’s a curse. So whether it’s my boss, a beautiful girl or someone who I think is much cooler/smarter/more interesting than me, I struggle. When I don’t care about someone’s opinion, I am able to…[Read more]
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I can see how that logic might come into play, but that’s not me. I’m pretty much the same person to everyone I meet. I’m weird in that I really like me, I’d totally hang out with me. I’m pretty sure other people will like me too, it’s just a matter of meeting them. Besides, at my age, I don’t place too much value on relationships that haven’t…[Read more]
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Mavi joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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magiclovemuffin posted an update in the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
If there was ever a group for me to join! Lately, my anxiety has made work weird. (I’ve worked here about 2 months. New city, new state… moved here for job.) I know these (straight) girls at work think I hate them, and I don’t, I just don’t want to go to bars with them because as the group states, I experience CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY and especia…[Read more]
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i’m glad you feel better having said it. sometimes we just need to rant at the universe and it makes things better. :)
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good on you, muffin. keep on keeping on and do what you can.
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I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. You have endure a lot with moving to a new city, etc. I can clearly see why these things can up your anxiety. I don’t think the girl should have said, ” We think you hate us.” Just because your not interested in going to a bar doesn’t mean you dislike the person that asked, sometimes…[Read more]
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FemmeSK posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
Is it totally evil to break up with someone a week before Pride?
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I read an interesting stat that one of the most popular times for breakups, according to Facebook data, is right before Christmas. I say, follow your heart. Maybe she’ll meet her rebound girl at Pride.
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If you break up with them, they’ll be unhappy and you’ll be relieved. If you don’t break up with them, you’ll be stressed, and they’ll know something’s up and get worried. Catch 22.
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Is breaking up with them right after any better, really?
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Nope it isn’t. So I broke up with them this week. They were drama but it was right thing to do. Thanks for the advice y’all.
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magiclovemuffin joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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magiclovemuffin posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
I love giving advice. I’m far better at running other people’s lives than my own.
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magiclovemuffin joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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FemmeSK joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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