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magiclovemuffin posted an update in the group
group for riese to ask people questions about things/information she needs for some post 12 years, 4 months agoPretty bitchin’ group. Right?
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Riese posted an update in the group
group for riese to ask people questions about things/information she needs for some post 12 years, 4 months agoHELLO HI HI PLEASE HELLO
i’m writing a thing and would like to know FROM YOU THE PEOPLE — how much do you hide your own identity online because of issues surrounding being gay (not being out to your friends/family/job or just generally being fearful of people knowing OR being so early in your journey that you’re just not ready… anything like…[Read more]
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The internet is a place that I feel more comfortable being who I am. Especially in places like Autostraddle. This is probably bad, but here, I don’t have to be so afraid of receiving immediate rejection/hate. If people don’t like it, they can not read/comment on it. And for the most part, people have been respectful of that. For awhile, when I was…[Read more]
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I don’t really share anything about being queer online. I’m not out to my family/most friends, and I worry that even linking to articles on Autostraddle on facebook will make people suspicious. The only place I really feel comfortable talking about it is Autostraddle.
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on facebook for sure, I have special privacy settings for the adults in my life who don’t know I’m gay.
I’m really cautious about people online, partly because I’m paranoid partly because I don’t know who people really are…I guess I spend more time watching and dropping one-liners than actually sharing things about myself.
I also don’t really…[Read more] -
I hide my identity 94ish% on the internet. Due to the fact that I am only out to close family and 3 friends. Also I live in a very close minded city. I defiantly didn’t want anyone finding out while I was still in high school. When the ‘Hot 100’ came out and I was on it, my cousin Tweeted about it, I almost had a heart attack. And feared my…[Read more]
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awwww when i was a younger person in a2 “the necto” was “the necatrine ballroom”, like a techno club and now it’s like a thing for gay people! (i know this is totally off topic)
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I’m out to everyone so I don’t hide my gay identity at all online. Back when I wasn’t out to my family or co-workers, online was the place that I WAS out. Facebook & all those things didn’t exist, so I could keep my online life/friends separate from my real life. Like, I knew my mother wasn’t going to be on the RENT messageboards I was on, etc.…[Read more]
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My internet life is separate. A very large part of it is being gay, much of it is also that I am very open and vocal online but very private and reserved in real life. People would know way too much about me if I made my online identities Googleable. I never use my real name (well, DEFINITELY never my last name) and I use entirely separate email…[Read more]
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I do my very best to hide my identity online. My facebook still claims that I am interested in men. I have two separate twitter accounts; one where I follow family, friends and straight entertainers, another where I follow the cast of The Real L Word (I know, I know), Kate Moenning, Tegan & Sara, etc. Autostraddle is the ONLY lesbian site that…[Read more]
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Why even fill out “interested in?” For people who do “interested in” with a heterosexual response, my suspicions that they are gay immediately skyrockets. It’s Facebook, not a nightclub. I ignore that as well as “gender.” Seriously, GENDER?! Joking aside, at least having nothing for “interested in” could be a small step that will make you feel…[Read more]
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I just follow George Costanza and keep the worlds apart. Gay&Internet Carmen doesn’t mix with Friends&Family Carmen
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for those of you who hide your identities online — if you met someone on the internet that you liked in a romantic girlfriendish way, would you let her see your facebook, talk to you on the phone, etc? or would you be too worried? would you want to write for a gay website without revealing your identity, or because you want to stay hidden would…[Read more]
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I did write for AfterEllen and I didn’t use my full name so it wasn’t traceable to the other writing I’ve done which is easily Googled with my real name. No picture of me either, (but I am totally opposed to using my picture online at all… that causes a WORLD’S ARE COLLIDING possibility, to use the Carmen San Diego/George Costanza philosophy.)…[Read more]
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how would you react if she questioned your identity — if she worried that you might not be real, would you get mad at her for questioning you/defensive or would you understand why she was wary to continue the relationship until she knew more about you
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I would understand. I mean, anyone using the internet should be at least a little weary of who they are dealing with when they don’t know them. When you are relying on the other person entirely for every bit of information you know about them, it’s smart to keep at least some sort of guard up, especially if you think your feelings are moving…[Read more]
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no it is helping! i have no perspective on this since i’m not a normal person, i developed an ”internet presence” as a writer, not as a regular human. i mean once upon a time i would go on nerve, craiglist, AOL or livejournal, but that was before ”google” was a verb and i didn’t even know what myspace was. by the time people were even talking abo…[Read more]
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I would understand the other person having doubts and wondering if I am who/what I say I am. I would probably be thinking the same thing myself
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Id be more worried about letting her see my facebook over giving her my number. But as long as she knows that im not fully out and not ready to be out, id be fine with adding her. As far as gay websites, autostraddle is the only site that I feel safe on. I think its because how connected you guys are to your readers and it makes me feel that much…[Read more]
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I have to agree with magiclovemuffin. As someone that hides my identity…if there was a girl that I met on the internet that I liked in a romantic way I would talk to her on the phone… but only if she wasn’t from the same area that I am. I also don’t think I would add her at all on facebook (maybe after I work up the courage to come…[Read more]
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I am in a sort of unique situation in that I have a really solid group of friends who I only know through the internet, and in some cases, that allows me to be way more open and upfront about myself/my identity/etc. In that sense i am very open, and I am always very honest about myself with them, and on a few sites like this I’m active in.
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On…[Read more] -
Wow, I’m pretty surprised by these answers. I mean, I know not everyone is out everywhere but maintaining different accounts with different interests seems really intense to me. I lead a semi-public gay life so there’s no not being out online for me, but even if that wasn’t the case I don’t think I’d go so far as to so ACTIVELY conceal my life…[Read more]
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It can be very exhausting but it’s better than not being out anywhere, so…
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btw thank you everyone i am reading all of your answers and thank you for sharing this is very meaningful to me
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i would have no problem showing my face on here buuut, i have an ex girlfriend who found me on another website and tried to continue her argument as to why i should stay with her and so i was like “fuck it”. so e i am. for a while i had my face on here but i get these bouts of paranoia and so i changed it back. also, i share info with people…[Read more]
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I’m out to my immediate family & close friends. But I’m not out to many others, and I care about their perception of me, so until I am completely out I continue to have a fragmented and self censored online presence. Also, I need to be google-able for work and I want only professional things to appear under my name and usernames.
Facebook – When…[Read more]
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I’m pretty paranoid about putting too much info out there online. It is rare for me to use my real name (and never my full name) or picture. Potential employers are one of my main concerns.
My Facebook contains only family and friends who I know in real life, and my privacy settings are as high as possible. (People I don’t know very well often…[Read more]
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i keep my online life and meatspace life separate in the following ways:
i do not share my last name in any space that is connected to this username. i do not want this username and my real name to show up together on any page that a potential employer could find in a four second google search.but that’s just because i curse and complain a lot.…[Read more]
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I don’t ever do regular correspondence with anyone from the internet, mostly because I’m not much of a making friends person. I use this alias for most internet related things, gay or otherwise, except school. I don’t really mind if real life acquaintances find out about my online life, although I do try to keep my online and real life separate,…[Read more]
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I consider my internet self an alter ego to my real-person self. I cannot be my real self irl and therefore i am more true to myself and others on the internet as my alter ego.
I’m not psycho, its impossible for me to say/act/feel how i want in my ‘real life’ environment. Having another name, email, voice on the internet makes real life…[Read more] -
riese, when i first started out lurking and occasionally commenting on this website, i was extremely careful not to mention anything that could direct readers back to my real last name/location. i was out to family and friends, but not to everyone at work, and i live in a state that can fire me for being gay…especially if a bigoted individual…[Read more]
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my mom just found i’m gay by googling “naimah lesbian” so apparently i put too much online hahaha but hey it eliminates the need to come out! on facebook I set my sexual orientation private from people who aren’t friends or relatives who aren’t my siblings, only because I don’t want my dad finding out second hand. Other than that I’m hella open…[Read more]
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Amanda Maria joined the group
The Great Library of Autostraddle 12 years, 4 months ago - Load More