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louisemichel joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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amoderngirl posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
I want to looker gayer, am sick to death of being hit on by guys. Not that I want to pick up girls, as I have a beautiful girlfriend, I just want some way of giving off a visible queer vibe but without embracing the butch-y aesthetic, as it would look ridic on someone like me. HELP!
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gay tee-shirt? rainbow bracelets? But doesn’t having a girlfriend make you look more gay?
After an initial coming out period of shane-like dressing, but a current femme, I can only advise to stay true to yourself and don’t cut off your hair you will regret it :P
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if you’re just looking to get dudes to stop hitting on you, as a definitely gay looking sorta butchy type gal, i can tell you, it won’t work. i still get that shit. maybe not as much as a superfemme might, but it still happens.
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Perfect your bitchface, the look of “I’m the only person in the world so you better STEP OFF or I’ll make you sorry you looked in my direction”–New Yorkers and Roman girls do it really well.
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THIS. It’s all in the attitude. Also, posture. Stand up tall and put on your bitchface. Works better than any plaid shirt will.
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I have a tongue piercing, I think it makes me being gay more believable.
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This is a toughie – if you figure it out, let me know! All I can recommend is that you take up space. No shrinking! If you’re sick of being hit on by dudes, be bold and speak confidently and directly, so that nothing you do or say will be misinterpreted as flirting. Just got to get your “Don’t fuck with me” face on!
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just wear visible headphones in public, it pretty much says “i am ignoring everything around me that i am not directly looking at”. works like a charm.
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radiogirl posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
Okay, I know this isn’t exactly AS expertise because we’re queer ladies etc, but my friend has a friend who has recently come out as a gay male and he needs help. I volunteered to martial queer media/books/movies/websites for him. He’s currently struggling a lot with the feminine issue- that gay males are read as feminine and he doesn’t feel he…[Read more]
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The books How I Paid for College and Attack of the Theatre People by Marc Acito deal with this–the narrator struggles with being a queer dude who loves theatre, but also feeling uncomfortable around stereotypical gay men.
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neil patrick harris and t.r. knight are handsome successful gay dudes who are clean cut and well dressed but not very flamboyant in their public behavior. i consider them quite masculine. and quite attractive. just saying.
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allie posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
i might as well set up a tent here cause i -love- giving advice (psychology student cliche)
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allie joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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checkeredpaint posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
I have no gaydar. AT ALL. And neither do my queer friends. It was more a coincidence that we became friends THEN found out that we were all otherwise-inclined. This especially sucks when one of us has trouble identifying if a crush likes ladies or not. How does the gaydar work/how can I develop one?
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thats bizarre that a lot of you have no gaydar. i have ridiculous ( i mean i get the no-clues femmes YEARS before and then bam they have a profile on like..ok cupid and im like /mental hi-five) gaydar, but it seems for me atleast that it was innate and probably something i developed since i was a wee lass (i could tell gays in like 3rd grade no…[Read more]
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i have horrible gaydar but i think i know what you’re getting at here. i myself am quite Gay Appearing so if there’s a straight looking girl who’s looking at me with anything other than confusion and/or distress, she’s probably part of the clan in some way.
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OK I was kind of born with gaydar I’m pretty good, so I usually go on feelings/am rarely attracted to straight girls.
As a femme girl I would have to say, I check out girls a lot, so I think the rule is:
1 look: straight
2 looks: gay
3 looks: single.How I would tell if someone else is gay:
-alternate lifestyle haircut.
-plaid shirt
-hanging out…[Read more] -
just watch that scene in the l word when alice and bette and tina and shane go on a mission to the country club where lara works and run down the list of characteristics. duh. it’s what i always do.
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I am so in your boat; my gaydar is NONEXISTENT.
I’m of the opinion that if gaydar’s a science, it’s not physics, it’s meteorology. Impossible to fully quantify, obvious to a few, a mystery to many, and even the experts are sometimes COMPLETELY surprised. I’m trying to work out a metaphor involving bringing an umbrella but all my options just…[Read more]
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checkeredpaint joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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We Love Documentaries 12 years, 5 months ago -
HypeSociety joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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jessica joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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hello joined the group
We Love Documentaries 12 years, 5 months ago -
Ryan joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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dizzy posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
Question: is it ok to ask non-lady related questions here? Because, my love life is dead, but um, I am kind of also a bit lost about some life decisions and could use some straddler perspective on stuff.
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dizzy joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Michelle joined the group
We Love Documentaries 12 years, 5 months ago -
Rinnie joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 5 months ago
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