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checkeredpaint posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 3 months ago
I have no gaydar. AT ALL. And neither do my queer friends. It was more a coincidence that we became friends THEN found out that we were all otherwise-inclined. This especially sucks when one of us has trouble identifying if a crush likes ladies or not. How does the gaydar work/how can I develop one?
thats bizarre that a lot of you have no gaydar. i have ridiculous ( i mean i get the no-clues femmes YEARS before and then bam they have a profile on like..ok cupid and im like /mental hi-five) gaydar, but it seems for me atleast that it was innate and probably something i developed since i was a wee lass (i could tell gays in like 3rd grade no joke, i just had NO idea what it was). as i grew older it became more crazy or a defensive thing because i either didnt know what it was or didnt want to face the fact i could suss out/be attracted to a gay woman.
people go for the super stereotypes but that really depends what your intent is. are you talking about people you are attracted to or just for making friends/random passerby evaluations? for me i like femmes, but i honestly have no idea what formula makes me come to the conclusion they like ladies unless its super obvious (ie rainbow bracelets, thumbrings, hipster hair etc).
i find its something in eye contact. that is acutally for me the dead giveaway, and i dont mean in a stare down i want you way. they will “assess” your eyes if you will, and as you probably do the same then its kind of an “oh i get it”…. idk for me its super instinctual. i dont know if this was helpful at all.
i have horrible gaydar but i think i know what you’re getting at here. i myself am quite Gay Appearing so if there’s a straight looking girl who’s looking at me with anything other than confusion and/or distress, she’s probably part of the clan in some way.
OK I was kind of born with gaydar I’m pretty good, so I usually go on feelings/am rarely attracted to straight girls.
As a femme girl I would have to say, I check out girls a lot, so I think the rule is:
1 look: straight
2 looks: gay
3 looks: single.
How I would tell if someone else is gay:
-alternate lifestyle haircut.
-plaid shirt
-hanging out in a gay area
-no bra
-anyone who looks like shane
-anyone who looks androgynous
-anyone who checks me out
Anyway best place to pick up gay girls I find is in a gay bar where you will know 95% of occupants are lady interested.
just watch that scene in the l word when alice and bette and tina and shane go on a mission to the country club where lara works and run down the list of characteristics. duh. it’s what i always do.
I am so in your boat; my gaydar is NONEXISTENT.
I’m of the opinion that if gaydar’s a science, it’s not physics, it’s meteorology. Impossible to fully quantify, obvious to a few, a mystery to many, and even the experts are sometimes COMPLETELY surprised. I’m trying to work out a metaphor involving bringing an umbrella but all my options just sound dirty. So, uh. Not helpful, exactly, but you’re not alone.