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cait posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 3 months ago
So I already know there is no answer, but how the he’ll do I stop staring at the straight girl and imagining if I wait patiently enough she will be mine? I mean when she chats with other people I get jealous, which is ridiculous cause she can and should do whatever she wants. I try to be honest with myself and admit i’ve put her on a pedestal and…[Read more]
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Uh, maybe you could start some sort of Really Absorbing Project that required that you Go Places (where she isn’t) and Do Things Constructively and just generally have other things on your mind for a while and then maybe you’ll be out of this feedback loop of unghh. Maybe one of your friends has something you could help with.
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I think we’ve all been there with someone who wasn’t/isn’t interested, they don’t even have to be straight. It sounds like you are honest with yourself about how unrealistic your feelings/attraction may be (but isn’t all attraction like that?). Is there any way you can get to know her/her flaws better to try and kill the attraction?
I usually…[Read more]
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cait joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 3 months ago
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Lucy joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Toby posted an update in the group
um. uh. wait. ok. wait. what was the question? ok. um. yeah. wait. what? 12 years, 4 months ago
Today, my straight guy friend goes “You ruined lesbian porn for me.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you’re the only lesbian I know, so I think of you when I watch it.”I’m not sure if it was his wording, or what, but FUCK THAT WAS AWKWARD. I was just like “o…kay. I’m…sorry?” I didn’t even know how to backtrack out of that. I guess as a rule I should…[Read more]
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I wish I could selectively erase parts of my memory, because I found my some of my dad’s porn when I was a teenager, and apparently he likes lesbian porn. AAAUUUGH! I really didn’t need to know that!
And to make things more awesome, he didn’t speak to me for several years after I came out. So watching “lesbian” porn is ok, but having a parental…[Read more]-
Mmm, the hypocritical parent. That’s always fun. My mother loved–and I mean LOVED–The L Word. I came out mid season 3, and she nearly shit her pants. Didn’t speak to me for a while, either.
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Wow! Now that takes hypocritical BS to the next level!
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that is really awkward.
but he could think of Portia instead. -
Something very similar happened to me with a friend/co-worker a year or so back. At the time, we were working at a pizza place. Ya know what my response was? I grabbed a piece of ham from the make line, and slung it straight at his face. It hit him square in the forehead. And better yet, it stuck there for a second and slowly slid down, like we…[Read more]
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definitely. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward!
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My hero.
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i don’t know why so many straight dudes feel that it’s appropriate to tell us stuff like that. it has happened to me before and it boggles the mind.
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Dani posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
I like this girl, she’s cool. She lives down the street, we talk a lot via text message – but every time I ask her out she blows me off. She’s definitely gay – so it’s not a “questioning her sexuality” thing. She told me I’m intimidating in the witty kind-of way. Ok – so i’m intimidating (not the first time i’ve heard that from a girl). What the…[Read more]
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I don’t want to dash your hopes, but she may just not be interested. I know a lot of women who would rather make excuses than actually just tell someone that they aren’t interested, so it’s worth considering that too. If that’s not the case though, I suggest trying to just hang out with her in a general context, without necessarily the pressure of…[Read more]
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I’m with @discospider… she probably just doesn’t want to ruin the friendship by saying no. But props to you for having the guts to ask her out, perhaps ask her to join you in a group thing where she can bring friends too, something like that? Thenyou’ll def be able to see if you’re getting a friend zone vibe.
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So, I had a feeling she was into me, because she texts me at least once a week – without me texting her or anything. I knew it wasn’t the date nervousness thing because I’ve asked her to cook outs, bbqs, the beach etc. She lives so close that it was weird like – what the heck is up? So I pressed her this week because I was leaving on vacay and
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Ouch ): I wish people could just be upfront about this sort of thing. You ask someone out, they say, ‘you’re amazing, but I’m happily taken’, and the game is over and no-one’s feelings are hurt. It’s just mean for a taken person not to disclose upfront!
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Dani joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Avery joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Gabrielle joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Trout Fishing in America posted an update in the group
um. uh. wait. ok. wait. what was the question? ok. um. yeah. wait. what? 12 years, 4 months ago
“Practiced being human today, not sure what to do with my hands.”
-J.E.-
When I don’t know what to do with my hands, I fiddle with my lip-ring. I’m trying to break that habit because I think it freaks people out.
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People make fun of me for talking with my hands. Fuck those people. I’m Italian.
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Hey me too! People don’t make fun of me for it anymore because I will slap them with my active Italian hands.
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Ash posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
Alright guys, to start off with, I go to a college church service.
My parents stipulate that if I’m here for the summer I have to go to some kind of service. I don’t mind at all (I’m not incredibly devout, but I believe) and the church I go to is your run of the mill large middle class conservative, non-denominational place. Warehouse size, got…[Read more]-
Do they have Unitarians in tour neck of the woods? If your parents allow it, jump ship and go to a UU service instead. I’d be terrified this guy is going to be all smiles and hugs to my face and “ASH IS A LESBO APOLOGIST KILL THEM WITH FIRE” behind my back.
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I doubt conservative Christians would consider UUs to be “real Christians.” But maybe a more open-minded Protestant denomination?
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There are definitely more liberal branches of traditionally Christian churches–locally I know of Methodist and Anglican (not Episcopalian) churches which are quietly accepting while still appearing to be your run of the mill Protestants if you don’t dig too deep in their websites.
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Oh! And definitely do your research because 1. you may end up with a branch you really love as a result and 2. you have an answer ready if your parents ask why you picked it–“I love the beauty of Episcopalian service” “Calvinist doctrine speaks to me” and so on
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Quakers are a safe bet to be non-homophobic, my experience of Quaker service is that a lot of queers go there because it is welcoming. If you need reasons like the one Rie gives, ‘the simplicity of Quaker worship really allows me to focus on the essentials of my faith’ ;)
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If you want to learn more about scripture from a critical angle I recommend: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/ They also have a Skeptic’s Annotated Qu’ran and Book of Mormon.
If you’re prefer something that is more pro-religion you could also look into the writings of liberal theologians and religious scholars like Marcus Borg, Karen Arm…[Read more] -
A really great read is “the God box” by Alex Sanchez, although a work of fiction all the facts are correct as it uses bible passages and historical evidence plus logic to dispell the myth of god hates gays. On his website he also has many links to more evidence for many different religions (including sects of Christianity):
http://www.alexsanchez.com
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