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Alyss joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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alyssa posted an update in the group
Philly Straddles Hard! 12 years, 4 months agoIs anyone else going to the Big Gay Boat Party tomorrow? See: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=190946304286126
I went to the first one and it was a great time. Wide age range, too. -
Talia joined the group
Genderstraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago -
Fox joined the group
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joi joined the group
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Randahl joined the group
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Rachel joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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Mavi posted an update in the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
I’m openly/obviously gay and have been all of my life…so I should be comfortable around lesbians. But I’m not. I’m not shy around anyone else, strangers love me, I have a pretty strong social net of straight people, my family and I are very close. I just seem to repel other lesbians. What am I doing wrong?
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The possibility of romantic or sexual interest makes you nervous?
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Nope. I wish it was that simple. I’ve only really liked two lesbians, romantically/sexually. Both times I felt as comfortable with them as I do with all of my straight friends. It was easy, like we were already connected. We’re still friends, but we live in different cities.
Most of the time, when I meet other lesbians, I’m not even…[Read more]
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Personally, the higher the stakes, the harder it is for me. The more I like someone and want to impress them, the less impressive I am because I clam up! It’s a curse. So whether it’s my boss, a beautiful girl or someone who I think is much cooler/smarter/more interesting than me, I struggle. When I don’t care about someone’s opinion, I am able to…[Read more]
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I can see how that logic might come into play, but that’s not me. I’m pretty much the same person to everyone I meet. I’m weird in that I really like me, I’d totally hang out with me. I’m pretty sure other people will like me too, it’s just a matter of meeting them. Besides, at my age, I don’t place too much value on relationships that haven’t…[Read more]
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Mavi joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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MO joined the group
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magiclovemuffin posted an update in the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
If there was ever a group for me to join! Lately, my anxiety has made work weird. (I’ve worked here about 2 months. New city, new state… moved here for job.) I know these (straight) girls at work think I hate them, and I don’t, I just don’t want to go to bars with them because as the group states, I experience CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY and especia…[Read more]
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i’m glad you feel better having said it. sometimes we just need to rant at the universe and it makes things better. :)
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good on you, muffin. keep on keeping on and do what you can.
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I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. You have endure a lot with moving to a new city, etc. I can clearly see why these things can up your anxiety. I don’t think the girl should have said, ” We think you hate us.” Just because your not interested in going to a bar doesn’t mean you dislike the person that asked, sometimes…[Read more]
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magiclovemuffin joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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FemmeSK joined the group
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Rinnie posted an update in the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
Okay, I need to shake off this crippling shyness ASAP and find some local gay friends because I want to go to a Pride Festival and how sad and pathetic would I be just wandering around on my lonesome, unable to really feel like I’m a part of the festival since I won’t know a single soul. :( I am sick of feeling so isolated.
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I bet you could find a group that’s going to and insert yourself into it somehow. There’s got to be an online community or group organizing or partaking. Not sure how big your city is. But even if you break off with them because you’re not meshing or your uncomfortable, at least you gave it a go.
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My biggest problem is that I live in a small town (seriously small, only about 250 people) and the nearest big city with any sort of gay community is almost an hour away, so making friends there is doubly hard. Going through the online groups is a great suggestion. Thanks!
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See, this is a solution that might work for me. I do have straight friends who would probably go with me, and I think any awkwardness would be worth it as long as I wasn’t all alone in a big crowd (it makes my stomach knot up just to think about it). That’s awesome about the drag queens at the Colosseum — sounds like a fun time!! :D
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Maybe I’m weird, but I totes would have grabbed one of those flyers and made it into a souvenir. :p
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i went to my first pride parade last year with a straight friend. her brother is gay. it was not weird at all.
just find a friend and ask them to go with. it’s a road trip, a parade, glitter, rainbows, and omg GAY PEOPLE! it’s so very nice and life affirming.
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bookbound posted an update in the group
Genderstraddlers 12 years, 4 months agoHey, I just commented this on Annika and Sebastian’s recent post, but maybe y’all have some ideas: What do you think is the best way to respond to transphobic harassment? I’m butch/genderqueer and have heard “are you a guy” or “is that a boy or a girl” from strangers several times, and I always struggle with how or if to respond.…[Read more]
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I have two standard answers for this depending on my mood.
1. Are you hitting on me?
2. Dont worry , we won’t be having sex.-
Ha! Good ones.
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I often wish I had a better way of dealing with harassment. Although I’m subjected more to “general” street harassment and all-round skeevy sexual inappropriateness than anything specifically transphobic. Unfortunately the only response I’ve come up with is to put my head down, make myself as small as possible and keep walking. So I’m no help…[Read more]
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If you feel threatened, just ignore them/walk away. No sense trying to educate the belligerent. In a safe situation, I have used a few times: “I am both and neither, and like it that way”
I haven’t gotten into any fights so far :) Worst response I’ve gotten is a Deer In Headlights Look which made me chuckle.
I often just say “Nope, I’m a…[Read more]
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I usually go with “are you a bigoted asshole or just an idiot?” It may not be the most appropriate response, but it works for me!
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Toby posted an update in the group
Genderstraddlers 12 years, 4 months agoI was told that my plans for a fauxhawk were “too boyish.”
The only way to express my feelings at this statement looks kind of like this: GJDSALKGJDAKLGJSRVQDQQRRGEGRE
It comes from pounding my fists on the keyboard in a clackity expresson of rage which I cannot verbalize. Efforts to verbalize it sound similar to a phonetic pronunciation of the…[Read more]
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Fuck that shit! Get your hair did whatever way you want! Plus, I just cut mine in a “boyish” style and all I’ve gotten since have been compliments…mostly because *I* feel great about how I look now and confidence totally shows to others.
(Although, that said, I waited until AFTER the big reunion with the conservative heterosexist Southern…[Read more]
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I agree with bookbound. Plus if you decide to go for the fauxhawk I am pretty much 100% certain that it will look awesome (because fauxhawks generally are pretty awesome).
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I did iiiiit. It is amazing. I can either be sexy or pretend to be a velociraptor, and those are the two things on my haircut checksheet.
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Allison joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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Ashe joined the group
Shystraddlers 12 years, 4 months ago
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shinyshoes joined the group
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