Welcome to our Anonymous Sex Toy review in which sex toy companies mail us things and then we try them out and tell you all about it. Today we’re talking about The Squish from Unbound.

Material: 100% phthalate-free, body-safe Class VI medical-grade silicone
Color: Pink
Power Source: USB Rechargeable
Dimensions: 3.07”l x 3.07”w x 6.1”h
Extras: One-year warranty

What does the company say about The Squish?

Despite what the cute shape implies, its Rumble Motor Technology boasts a deep, rumbly vibration like no other. Start out with gentle pressure and work your way up to a firm grasp. You can record and replay vibration patterns of your own creation with the Smart Memory function. Plus, it’s waterproof, with a nightstand-friendly shape and playful functionality.

Y’all, we were stoked about this toy because this toy is real cute. Look at that packaging! It’s like a little minion but a sex toy. New York Magazine named The Squish their best starter vibrator and Refinery29 said “you won’t want to let go of this vibe once you get your hands on it.”

So, three of us tried it — our names have been changed here to cloak our identities. Jan and Deb used the squish separately and together and Phyllis used it in her own life on her own time with different human beings. Let’s begin.

Jan: hi bb’s

Deb: hello
phyllis are u here

Jan: phyllis where r u

Phyllis: I’m here!
I went to get Mexican food sorry

Jan: WOW

Deb: Hello Phyllis!
I am so glad that we have gathered her today to anonymously discuss this tiny alien sex toy

Phyllis: Hello happy to be here to discuss vibrator(s) w y’all

Jan: we are glad to have you!

Deb: So tell us about the hole in the market (LOL!) this toy was created to fill

Jan: Yes you have our hole attention.

Phyllis: I mean I think it’s initial inception, when it was the minna limon, was to give folks the opportunity to have a say in the exact amount of intensity they got from their vibrator
Most (if not all) vibrators only offer a set of 3-4 intensities and sometimes the jump from one to the other is SIGNIFICANT
The Squish is great for people who are really into patterns

Deb: what do you mean by “patterns”

Phyllis: Oh I mean different modes of vibration, not just straight vibration
Like, most toys that offer patterns typically have a wave pattern
So it grows in intensity and then will slow to a stop and just repeat that over and over

Jan: Like the vibrational patterns you get if you accidentally press the wrong (top) button on your hitachi.

Phyllis: Yeah exactly
I personally hate patterns

Jan: Or it’ll be like BZZ BZZ BZZ BZZ BZZ, BEEEBUZZZZ
They are like songs, but vibrations
Thank you for affirming me Phyllis

Deb: I have… always thought i was just pressing the wrong buttons
whenever anything like that has happened to a sex toy

Jan: WHAT.

Phyllis: Oh my god

Deb: i’ve been like “hm, i must have pressed the wrong button for it to be making these weird waves”

Phyllis: No they are intentional!!

Jan: Yeah I am personally not a fan of vibrational patterns.

Deb: I don’t like that
I feel like I can create my own patterns with how I choose to move it or move my own body and I don’t need the vibrator’s input on that
the vibrator’s job is to vibrate
in a predictable manner
so i can plan ahead accordingly

Phyllis: I prefer a solid vibration, which I guess is one place the squish falls short

Jan: I feel like the waves is hot conceptually, like when I held the Mona for the first time and felt the vibration travel up and down the shaft of the vibrator I was like “this is so fucking hot”

Phyllis: The only way you can access that for The Squish is by continuously squishing it which is honestly exhausting to the hand

Deb: right!

Jan: But actually in using it, I was like, longing for an intense prolonged vibration that the pattern did not provide. But before we get too deep into all that, let’s talk about how this toy came into our lives to begin with. You were showing me your bag of sex toys that you bring on dates and you had some high praise it.

Phyllis: I think I’d just successfully used it in a harness — I have tried to use it in so many ways tbh! Between two bodies as an added lil vibration during some classic grinding/scissoring/tribbing scenarios, grinding on it solo, putting it in a harness, using it as a form of like.. edge play with a partner, I guess is the best way to describe it? Like, I control it while it’s being used on them and intentionally keep it on low settings for fun, that kind of stuff.

Deb: I imagine it could be a thing you could hold onto your own clit while someone is fucking you with a strap-on dick or already-attached-to-your-body dick.

Phyllis: Yeah! I mean, I probably told you that it was really versatile, which is what I liked most about it. Plus comparatively to a lot of my other vibrators, it offers a nice lower rumbly sensation to contrast all my high power vibes, so if someone I’m hooking up with is more sensitive, having that as an option is cool.

Deb: So maybe it’s more of a partner toy, then?
For me, trying to use it on myself required SO much hand pressure
and if i’m gonna be doing that much shit with my hand, i will just… use my hand

Jan: For someone who is used to intense vibrations (aka the Hitachi) this toy didn’t really provide much for me. And I felt like I had to do a lot of work to get there.

Phyllis: Yeah totally! I too have a power hungry vulva so The Squish isn’t great for me, but it has been great for my partners

Jan: I think this would be a great toy for someone who has a really sensitive clit and just has to lightly poke it. I was like, pressing all four fingers into it to make it do what i want, and then I had to hold it there.

Phyllis: on it’s own, just for masturbation purposes, I just felt frustrated and like “how is this possibly going to get me off”
The rumble is nice but not POWERFUL

Deb: honestly my hand just got so tired
and Jan was next to me with her Hitachi, having the time of her life
while i was like “my hand hurts”

Phyllis: That said, I did find a way it worked well for me!

Jan: OH REALLY
please explain

Phyllis: Well, like I said before, I was tipped off that this could actually be paired with a harness

Deb: right. which we briefly tried and… i don’t understand how that works

Phyllis: Yeah so
I too didn’t understand
I also own like 4 harnesses
So I tried it with multiple harnesses and it only really worked well in one
With my leather one it HURT. It’s a pretty bulky toy and it just sorta felt like it was punching me in the pubic mound

Deb: right, we tried putting it into the SpareParts harness
but every place I tried to put it felt a little weird and cumbersome

Phyllis: The Spare Parts one is what worked for me actually!
I used the Joque
The trick was that I moved the dildo a little lower than I normally do
So sorta closer to the vaginal opening, more under me than sticking out, and then put the squish above that
But placement wise I basically only had the tip of it against my clit

Jan: So the base of the dildo was like, resting on your clit versus your mons? or

Deb: Wasn’t there an overlap between the base of the dildo and the squish?

Phyllis: A little overlap, but it was beneficial
Because the bit that overlapped was the squish part
So, with each thrust the squish would squish between my body and the top of the base of the dildo
And because of the placement and having it sit lower down, it didn’t feel so much like it was punching my pubic mound

Deb: I think that is how I finally got it wedged in there but I did have to hold it in place
and it felt good, but not necessarily good enough to justify how cumbersome it was.

Phyllis: It was basically like nestled in my labia
With just the lil tip on my clit

Jan: just a lil tip?

Phyllis: Interesting you had to hold it in place!

Deb: well also the other thing is that ….
it’s hard to get a harness tight enough for my
tiny lil body
so it’s hard to position a lot of things in there and expect them all to stay in place

Phyllis: Yeah totally that makes sense

Jan: Because when we used it the way you’re describing I was experiencing vibrations from both the bullet and the squish at the same time. I feel like I was getting a lot from it but Deb seemed uncomfortable
she kept having to reach inside of her harness and adjust it

Phyllis: This definitely wouldn’t be my first choice of vibrator pairing with a harness, but there was something hot about it vibrating while thrusting, even though I don’t like patterns
Because there was just so many other things happening too

Jan: I did like the vibrations though, the cross vibrations were pretty fun

Deb: i did say “it’s for science!” a few times

Jan: lol she did

Phyllis: I think ultimately this vibe is for people who like a low rumble more than a high power heavy duty
Which.. we all do
The technology is cool and innovative and I think if it gets used for other more functional products it could be a game changer! It’s also cute

Jan: It’s really cute!
Can we talk about the color/packaging/charging situation for this toy?

Phyllis: Yeah totally!
The packaging is adorable, I really admire unbound’s branding

Deb: i love the branding and i thought the toy was really cool looking

Jan: They have it down. Like when this toy arrived I felt decadent as fuck. It came in this beautiful pastel box nestled in glossy, iridescent paper. And the actual packaging was really pretty too.

Phyllis: The charger is very user friendly too

Jan: The charger feels like you’re setting a rocket to launch

Phyllis: Which can’t be said for a lot of chargers for toys unfortunately

Jan: which HO HO HO maybe you’re launching YOUR ROCKET if you know what i mean!!!

Buy The Squish from Unbound for $99.

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