Also.Also.Also: Your Fave Clickbait Bullshit is Fucking This All Up for LGBTQs and Other Stories La La La

Blam bloom blizzle bop pop top chop shop shhhhmop lop emalamopemalopemaloplop lopaloo bazoo! It’s Friday and you’re you! Now what?


Queer as in F*ck You

+ How Our Clickbait Culture Hurts the LGBTQ Cause, featuring several quotes from your very own Riese Bernard! Super smart, this piece.

+ National Park Service adds two LGBT sites to National Register of Historic Places including The Furies Collective. Also of super duper importance: Stonewall Inn Likely to Receive Landmark Status by Obama.

+ Why Ruby Rose Could Only Be the Face of Urban Decay Now.

Ruby Rose as the face of Urban Decay is, actually, groundbreaking—for a number of reasons. The only other openly gay brand face for a beauty line is Ellen DeGeneres for CoverGirl, but where Ellen is relatable to a certain older, tamer demo of women, Ruby Rose is all edge. She’s also not normatively feminine, and typically beauty campaigns feature only the most feminine women. There’s something about the way aspirational prettiness has been codified by the beauty industry to equal super-feminine which leaves out masculine of center women, but Ruby Rose’s face staring defiantly from the UD press release in bright red lipstick and a leather jacket is here to challenge that, and everyone seems ready to agree.

+ Living in Mississippi Can Be Tough If You’re Black and Queer. Yes.

+ This is exactly what we need! Queer Kid Stuff is the New Educational LGBTQ Webseries for Kids.

+ FDA Anti-Smoking Campaign Focuses on LGBT Youth.

+ ‘It’s 2016’: Russell T Davies adds lesbian kiss to A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

+ Adapting Cancer Care for the LGBT Community.


Doll Parts

+ Andi Zeisler on co-founding Bitch magazine and the fact that they’re still around to this very day, being hella relevant and super important!

+ Roxane Gay on Lemonade: ‘by the power of Beyoncé, I’ll overcome my fear’.

+ We’re Supposed to Love Our Mothers, But What If They Don’t Really Love Us?

+ On Zika and Abortion on n+1.

+ Family Says School Ignored Transgender Teacher’s Cries for Help Before Suicide.

+ Safe Haven Boxes for Unwanted Babies Come to the U.S.

+ Friendship is More Powerful Than Morphine.

+ Redefining Required Reading: Where Are Trans Women Writers in the Classroom?

+ Women Are the Invisible Victims of PTSD.

+ Transgender Politician Poised for Historic Win in Catholic Philippines.

+ Mamas Day Cards!!

+ “Worse Things”: Sandy and Rizzo and Me. OOoooooof.


Saw This, Thought of You

+ Korean Live Streams of Stray Cats Eating Are Basically Neko Atsume in Real Life.

+ Police Can Force You to Use Your Fingerprint to Unlock Your Phone: But they can’t make you cough up your passcode.

+ Dear White People Will Be a Series on Netflix and everyone who matters on this earth is AMPED.

+ Crêpe party?

+ Why We Mix Up the Names of People In Our Families. My name used to be ‘LeahLaneia’ or ‘AbLeahLaneia’ and I miss it all the freaking time! Every day.

+ How a Small Town Became the Capital of HIV in America.

Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here. She's 37, has two kids, two dogs, one cat, one Megan, and some personal essays.

Laneia has written 914 articles for us.

29 Comments

  1. My grandmother has 3 daughters and 2 granddaughters, and she mixes us up ALL THE TIME. For most of my life, I’ve been Li-El-Ja-Sar…Allison. For a long time, I used the fact that she had been doing this for a few decades to deny the fact of her advancing Alzheimer’s – “No, she’s fine, this is completely normal, she’s been calling me Lisa since the day I was born!” But in the last few years, as her Alzheimer’s has been getting worse, it takes her longer and longer to find the right name.

    • here’s some ideas about crêpes !!!

      * put some BEER in your batter it will make your crepes light and delicious.
      * replace half the milk with water for thinner, crispier crepes
      * add a splash of rum to the batter (yum) or liquor or whatever you fancy really
      * sugar + lemon juice is always a good idea if you can’t decide on a topping !

      • Apples cooked on butter is also soooo good in crèpes ! You took an apple, cut it in 4, put a little of butter in a pan, you cook the apple, and then directly in the crèpe.

  2. I thought I remembered reading that your name is pronounced “La-NEE-a” (as opposed to rhyming with Princess Leia). So your family growing up had a Leah and a Laneia?

    My name was often a combination of my own and the sister closest in age to me. My mom will call me her sister’s name. My dad calls me my mom’s name, but usually only when he’s frustrated with me.

  3. When my cousin was a wee smol thing she couldn’t tell my sister and me apart / viewed us as a collective, two for one type deal

    Smooshed our names together

    She had a speech impediment so it ended up basically “AnnieMay-eee”

    I’m only 4 years older than she is, though, so I didn’t see this as cute so much as incredibly frustrating.

    Which is p rich, considering that I called my cousin Melissa “Demissal”

    • Same though. Please, tell me more about how I got into a dog fight last fall parents. I was unaware that happened. And Xena really enjoyed her years at college. I have no idea how the professors allowed her into the chem labs as a dog, but I’m really intrigued.

  4. Wow, that one about dealing with your mom really resonated with me. I didn’t cut off all contact with my mom, like the author, but she and I don’t talk very much. I actually haven’t talked with her since Christmas (it’s much better for my mental state that way and probably hers too), but I will this weekend…after downing a few shots beforehand in order to make it through the phone call, lol. =)

  5. I know a catholic family where the 7 kids all have “Marie” in their name : François-Marie, Marie-Louise, Claire-Marie, Marie-Augustine, Grégoire-Marie, Pierre-Marie, Marie-Alix. Sometimes, the mother just called them “Marie-something, something-marie, come here !”

    • True story: my best friend knows a Catholic family where the mother came from a tradition of calling all girls Marie-something, and the father, after having missed the entry examination for the prestigious french engineering school nicknamed “the X”, vowed that all his children’s names would have an X in them.

      They have the wackiest naming scheme ever, especially because, being good Catholics, they have a large family: all the main “Alex” derivatives, plus Xénandre, Marie-Alix, and even Marie-Exupéry (her friends call her Xu)!

      • It’s the best story I’ve read this week, thank you.

        (I tried to imagine a family of Marie-something in X, and I stopped after Marie-Alix, Marie-Sixtine, and Xavier-Marie. Marie-Exupéry is… wow. She can call herself “Exupéry” and just say that her parents loved le petit prince)

  6. blargh the article about Ruby Rose + UD fails to mention that RR is nonbinary!! which is so important for my agender UD glitter liner enthusiast self and others like me :/

  7. I’m an only child, but the child of a woman who is the eldest of 4, this sounds like a maths problem already huh? My G-Ma would often go through my mother and her siblings names, then my cousins names and then get to my actual given name…as the eldest child of an eldest daughter this was frustrating as all hell.

    Also MAXINE PEAKE! That woman doing Shakespeare gives me life. Can’t wait to see that adaptation. Ugh. Her Hamlet gave me chills – and it wasn’t the flu I had at the time.

  8. That Establishment piece about clickbait really bothered me – Riese was great, but some of the bits about more nuance missed the point, I think.

    This was the paragraph that really got me:

    In presenting these stories of blatant homophobia, the media has relied on a simple either-or paradigm: You are either for LGBTQ people or for the homophobes. In recent bathroom bill coverage, for example, only opinions for and against the legislation are included. Absent are transgender voices, or narratives that might complicate this binary view of the law.

    I agree that trans people are left out of media coverage, especially on trans issues, and that there need to be more voices presented. But, like, this is sort of an either/or issue. Do you support legislation that prevents trans people from using the bathroom that aligns with their gender or don’t you? Do you agree that LGBTQ people should be considered a protected class or don’t you? There is actually a right side and a wrong side on these questions. There is not really much middle ground (it’s why people kept pushing for marriage equality instead of accepting civil unions – that middle ground is not actually a real resolution). Often, there is a reason to be angry, to be outraged, and I wish this piece would explore more of that.

  9. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think Ruby Rose being the face of UD is very revolutionary. To me, they’re still a conventionally attractive person. There’s butcher people in the world. There are slightly more masculine non-binary & GNC people out there who love makeup, & who would be a much more exciting face for the brand. Still, it’s sending a nice message I guess.

    • I know, my first thought was that Ruby Rose doesn’t feel revolutionary. My grandmother would not have questions for me if she saw their face on a magazine in the supermarket. Hopefully this is the beginning of a trend and we can get Rain Dove and Samira Wiley booking similar gigs.

    • Yes! Thank you. Can’t handle all the “she’s so masc” stuff when it’s like… she is identical to every other model out there. Ooh, she glares a lot, that makes her so masc. Like, let’s celebrate that she’s very openly nb, but let’s not pretend the aesthetic is any different from the same old norms.

    • I signed in just to like this comment and all the ones under it. There’s nothing revolutionary about a thin white conventionally attractive ( generally femme presenting) person modeling a popular makeup brand. Nothing.If it was a model of color or a plus sized model (or both for fuck’s sake) I’d maybe be interested.

  10. I have no opinion on Ruby Rose as a person, but I am incredibly tired of articles misgendering her. She has said herself that she identifies otherwise than as a woman.

    It’s so infuriating! On one hand, I get flack, undateability* and erasure from cis lesbians for being nb, and on the other hand, nb people like Ruby Rose who are considered too attractive to pass up in the lesbian community are just called lesbians to avoid contradiction.

    *I don’t mean that I demand any given person date me, but that I am frustrated by the hypocrisy among some lesbians who don’t want to date nb people, except when they look like Ruby Rose, so they call them women.

  11. Hopefully the Queer Kids web series will be the needed antidote to that Mormon Youtube thing about how Jehovah just isn’t into non-heteronormativity and, like, people should care what Jehovah thinks because apparently there’s a time share up for grabs in what is probably only a dodgy off-the-plans high rise tenement in a subduction zone… but at least no one can take your smugness from you, even after the gays have destroyed the social fabric of life as we know it.

    Although I really do think that Donald is going to do that well before I’m ever likely to …

    All that from just one view of that dang Mormon vid – I should stay away from Youtube

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