Also.Also.Also: “Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Chairs” -Bisexuals

Happy December, friends! Did you make an advent calendar for your friends or family or self this year? There’s still time! I made one for my kids to share and usually my calendars include family things, like looking at lights or game night, but this year everyone’s schedules conflict, so there’s literally 0 nights when we’ll all be home together before December 25, which is TERRIBLE for many reasons but mostly for my calendar-making, of course. So instead of those family events, I tucked in some little facts about their dead relatives and the lessons we can hold in our hearts from each of them. It seemed like a very ingenious and sweet idea until I got to like the fifth person and all I could think about is how everything is ephemeral, even our weird bodies, and all that matters in the end is what a person can remember about you at 1am when she makes the advent calendar she’d been putting off until the very last minute! I mean! What are we all doing here??! Hahahahaha!

It was a fun night!

Queer as in F*ck You

The LGBTQ Movement Needs to Revisit Its Radical Past to Thrive

The Performance of Transgender Inclusion, and a response to that piece: We Still Need Pronoun Go-Rounds

When Straight Parents Are Lost on Queer Sex

The Queer Personal Trainers Tackling Heteronormativity One Deadlift at a Time

Bisexuals Can’t Sit on Chairs Properly

A Lingerie Expert on All Her Favorite Underthings — SPOILER the lingerie expert is Cora Harrington!

Mischievous Responders Taint LGBQ Health Estimates in National Survey ?

All-New Queer Adventures and Misadventures Are Arriving in Bongiovanni’s Grease Bats Collection. HEYYYY you know them!

The RAE Has Made Its Decision About Latinx and Latine in Its First Style Manual. Carmen is here with some context: “The basic crux is that the gender neutral Latinx has now been officially rejected as a word by the Real Academia Española – the official and most recognized source on the Spanish language (sort of comparable to, say, the Oxford dictionary. Except they’re more than just a dictionary). It’s a big deal because more English sources are increasingly recognizing the word (ie/ Merriam-Webster now includes it in the dictionary), so this decision widens the cultural gap between Latinx folks who are bilingual and live in the United States and those are predominately Spanish speaking and/or who live in Latin America.”

A Mother’s Love, by Raquel Willis.

Just in case you missed this! The Oral History of ‘San Junipero’


Saw This, Thought of You

Parkland Survivor Stories: “It was like a war in the classroom. It was a nightmare.”

Louisiana School Made Headlines for Sending Black Kids to Elite Colleges. Here’s the Reality.

Pushcart-Nominated Poet Accused of Plagiarizing Multiple Peers

My Mother Died From AIDS. My Tribute to Her Is That I’m Not Ashamed of It.

If You’re Wondering Why You’ve Lost Friends in Adulthood, This Is Probably Why

How Restaurants Got So Loud. Another recent and fascinating piece by Kate Wagner is Building Houses That Grow With Us, if you’re into architectural criticism, which apparently I am now.

How to Protect Your Information Online

How Britney Spears Built a Billion-Dollar Business Without Selling a Single Record. You might think you don’t need to read this piece by Rachel Syme, but you’d be wrong.

They Couldn’t Find Beauty Tutorials for Dark Skin. So They Made Their Own

Rookie Says Goodbye

Women in Syria Have Created a Feminist Commune Free of Patriarchy and Capitalism

White Liberals Dumb Themselves Down When They Speak to Black People, a New Study Contends

How to Make Your Own Scratch-and-Sniff Holiday Cards

Political Snacks

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Plan to Get the US Off Fossil Fuels Is Gaining Steam

Running For Office Is Really Hard If You’re Not A Millionaire

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Laneia is the Director of Operations and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 922 articles for us.


  1. That’s definitely part of why I have exactly zero friends: they keep flaking, and flaking and flaking, and after years of chasing them I decided to stop chasing, stopped sending pretty handwritten cards when their pets died or they had an anniversary and stopped inviting them over for dinner only to be stood up, and immediately all those “OMG, I’m soo sorry, I’m so bad, we’ll hang out soon” messages stopped, and there was radio silence.

    Bleh. I hate “adult friends articles”. I keep reading them, like Goldilocks, hoping to find one that is just right, but they never seem to quite apply. There’s an assumption that we all meet tonnes of people or are just not trying at all. Like, I don’t know when I last saw someone within 20 years of my age range that wasn’t some rando on the street…? And I’ve joined associations and activities, so it’s not for lack of getting out there. Actually, I guess the mayor is probably less than 15 years older than me, and I have her husband’s mobile number from when their cows used to get loose in our yard…? Missed opportunity?

  2. I’m very sad to see Rookie go. It was very important to me in my late teen years, and it shaped my aspirations and sense of self. I’m now 25, and I haven’t actively read the site in years, but I’m feeling pretty cut up about this nonetheless.

  3. The restaurant article is really interesting, I didn’t realise how much went into creating noise. It didn’t mention music much though, which is my main problem. So many places play obnoxiously loud music so people have to shout to be heard and it gets completely overwhelming for me. Then I get tense, feel ill and can’t enjoy my food or the company and spend the entire time wanting to go home. I’d go out so much more if places had reasonable noise levels.

  4. The restaurant noise thing makes me feel so much better about my inability to function in public spaces these days. My hearing already isn’t great to begin with, but even so… I basically just can’t meet up with people in popular bars or restaurants because I won’t be able to have a conversation with anyone.

  5. The chairs thing! THE CHAIRS THING. All my life. Sideways. Half-slid-out. One leg tucked under. Cross-legged. Upside down on the couch. She said, writing on her laptop sitting crosslegged on a bed because she does not chair like a normal person.

    • All of this AND.
      On the very edge of the seat. One leg tucked under, but like, also popping out to the side. Two legs tucked under, chair has to swivel down because the desk is now too low. Knees on the edge of the desk, feet hanging. Not even touching the seat, balancing between pushing on the backrest and pushing on my feet.
      I can’t *hold* a single sitting position for more than about three minutes.

  6. The RAE can take inclusive language from my dead, cold hands. I can’t speak for other countries and cultures, but using -x (pronouncing it like we would -e) to turn gendered plurals into neutral ones is becoming a more accepted and generalised practice in Argentina, no matter how much mockery and judgement we get.

  7. Oh wow, that GENDER REVEAL PARTY article!”If Girl, only job option is House or Lesbian”. I don’t know lady, I hope your baby sits bi weirdly in the womb and proves you wrong…
    P.S. (obviously I hope your baby turns and you have an easy birth, imaginary lady)
    P.P.S. Megan Amram, who wrote the post, is my favorite The Good Place writer!

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