Good day to you, fellow space travelers! I’m writing this on Thursday night, next to a Kerr jar filled with freesia and a glass of organic red wine because that’s what happens when you get married. You just get freesia as soon as it’s in season. No one tells you that because a) it’s wrong to get married for the freesia alone, and b) they know that if more people got married, there wouldn’t be enough freesia to go around. I, on the other hand, love you dearly, as if you were my own sister or otherwise-gendered familial entity, so I will tell you these things. You don’t get wine for being married, though. That comes with having kids.
You Should Go or Do or Give
+ DapperQ is giving away tickets to an upcoming Anna/Kate album release party! Anna/Kate is a queer folk-pop band that you will certainly love a whole bunch, and you can hear their song “Find Your Beautiful” right this very minute:
+ Support Food Porn: An anthology of lady-created comics!
+ Attention actors! Maggie Keenan-Bolger is recasting some roles in The Birds & Bees: Unabridged and she’d like for you to audition! They are particularly seeking “trans people (anywhere on the gender spectrum), women and trans people of color, women and trans people with disabilities, and queer women and trans people of all ages.” The call also states that “trans people are welcome and encouraged to audition for any character, even if not specifically labeled as trans identified,” so that is fucking awesome as fuck. Break a leg!
+ Support the first ever Lesbians Who Tech on a Plane, European Summit!
+ Call for submissions! Harmony Ink Press’s Young Author Challenge: “Harmony Ink Press is looking for young authors writing in the LGBTQ+ genre to submit short stories for our second annual Young Author Challenge.” Deadline for submissions is May 1.
+ There’s gonna be a Saint Harridan pop-up shop in Dallas this weekend! Never thought about it before, but silent films of queers trying on clothes on the side of country highways is EXACTLY what I need in my life.
+ Register for The LGBT Family Building Expo happening in NYC on May 9!
+ Call for writers! Bitch Flicks’ theme week for April is Fatphobia/Fat Positivity in film, so you should write something brilliant and send it to them so I can stick it in an upcoming AAA and you will be so full-circle I’ll probably get dizzy.
Queer as in F*ck You
+ Pacific Standard is doing a series called The 30 Top Thinkers Under 30, and it’s very enjoyable. Here’s a profile of Lydia Brown: The Self-Described Queer, East Asian Disabled Person Devoted to Defending Anyone on the Margins.
+ Mary Emily O’Hara took our Lesbian Sex Survey results to some experts, like Felice Newman, and then put together this really fucking comprehensive article that we couldn’t get enough of. Rejoice, Lesbians: ‘Bed Death’ Isn’t Actually a Thing.
Newman was impressed with the range of the Autostraddle study and said that previous research has often overlooked the frequency rates of sex in lesbian relationships. That could be partly to blame for the persistence of the LBD myth.
Is it every day that Felice Newman is IMPRESSED with the RANGE of your study? No, reader. No it is not. BOOM.
+ I wish I could tell you how much my family loves Robin Roberts, but I suspect you already know, because I’m guessing that your family also loves Robin Roberts with the fire of a thousand suns, ESPECIALLY if you’re from the South. I’ve never been so excited about an AARP Magazine cover story, that’s for sure: Robin Roberts on Celebrating Her 50th With Her Partner, Hurricane Katrina, and Surviving.
+ Ok REAL TALK I missed this when it first happened because I was planning my AFOREMENTIONED WEDDING IN WHICH I WAS MARRIED and it popped onto my radar this week and I was like, what is this precious thing? I’ll tell you what it is, reader, it’s a motherfucking GIFT is what it is. If you haven’t already seen Kristin Russo talk with her mom Rose about what it was like when she came out, do yourself a big favor and watch it now. Sometimes our lives are crazy — we’re planning parties or refinishing floors or training crows to bring us shiny things — and we miss out, reader. We miss out on videos like this one, or the one that’ll play directly after it, where Dannielle Owens-Reid talks with her dad, Jack. But don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t catch up on videos, because you can. We all can. Just have some tissues handy because you are going to cry so hard.
+ Michelle Dowell-Vest has an interview with Aisha Moodie-Mills on politics, race, and the LGBTQ movement.
+ The White House Has Announced Gender Neutral Restrooms!
+ This Black Trans Man, Ky Peterson, Is in Prison for Killing His Rapist.
+ Lisa Wade wonders, Has Anita Sarkeesian Been Silenced?
+ Jenika McCrayer has Five Ways to Take Care of Yourself While Working in the Service Industry (and Five Ways to be a Better Consumer).
+ Purveyor of amazing underthings that I love, Dear Kates is talking about the first time you got your period in their latest campaign, First Time. I want to hang out with everyone in this video.
I’ve never talked to you about Dear Kates on a personal level, even though I own some and wear them every month and believe they are the best underwear on this sweet little planet of ours. Do you own some Dear Kates? Are you obsessed with them?? Don’t they come in the most special packaging?? DO YOU LOVE THIS NEW CAMPAIGN?! Ugh I do so much. Go to Dear Kates and scroll down for even more stories about people’s first period.
+ Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln, this article is AMAZING. Lisa Hix‘s Jem, the Truly Outrageous, Triple-Platinum ’80s Rocker Who Nearly Took Down Barbie is from last summer, but Bust recently unearthed it and if you missed it the first time around you HAVE to read it now. The first comment is from someone on the Jem design team! Y’ALL.
+ Dayna Evans will now teach you how to get Haim hair so you can be the fourth Haim sister and live the life you’ve been dreaming of. This is the best hair article that’s ever happened I think?
+ In England, No One Can Stop Women’s Soccer.
+ The Power of an All-Woman Mariachi Band.
Mariachi is “passed on from generation to generation,” says Mireya Ramos, a musician who lives in New York City. “It’s very traditional and very macho.” Ramos tells filmmaker Jenny Schweitzer that she had “negative experiences” with other bands—that is to say, with the men who performed in them—and decided to form Flor de Toloache, a seven-piece, all-women mariachi group. “For people who are used to seeing men play, we’re making a statement. We’re breaking that concept,” says Shae Fiol, a band member.
+ Your girl Mari Brighe has this piece up on The Daily Dot! What Dove’s Viral Beauty Campaign is Really Selling Women.
+ Rachel Swaby has this excellent piece on Mary Putnam Jacobi, Godmother of American Medicine.
+ USPS Picks Perfect Line For Maya Angelou Stamp — If Only It Were Hers. Womp.
+ If you’re looking for some spiritual inspiration, and I think you might be, look no further: Iris Apfel Doesn’t Do Normcore.
Do you think our attitude about age has changed?
Not fast enough. Designers have completely ignored the over-65-year-old market. We have plenty of time and expendable income, and we can’t find anything to buy, because everything is designed for 15-year-olds. I mean, the youth market has to be served, but not with $5,000 dresses.
One day I’m going to be so old and opinionated and I just pray I have the statement necklaces to pull it off.
+ And this, my good friend, is your misandry inspo for the day: Without Their Words, These Vintage Ads Starring Women Speak Even More Loudly. :bath: :hatching_chick: :cake:
Saw This, Thought of You
+ Have you checked your hummus for listeria? Just asking.
+ They’re making a Five Nights at Freddy’s movie, and I’m telling you this because when I showed Eli the story, he lit up like a Christmas tree, like someone had declared Moon Pies an acceptable breakfast food, and sometimes y’all have a lot in common with Eli.
+ This is beautiful. Photographer Cassie Reeder Explores Intimacy Through “Mornings; Naked Routine” Series.
Learning to be soft with oneself is no easy task. Learning what intimacy means both within oneself but also within others is no simple task. Being open to the intensity of an intimate moment, being able to sit with it and to take the time necessary to truly digest it is possibly one of the hardest concepts to grasp.
+ You Can Help 11 Films About Native Culture Win a Webby Award.
+ UGH GOD THIS IS SO GOOD. Trisha Low interviewed Arabelle Sicardi for The Poetry Foundation and now you love Arabelle Sicardi even more than you thought you did, which was probs a lot.
+ Person-on-twitter-whom-I-know-nothing-about-but-who-seems-rad, Rubyetc, has created this shark for you to use as a reply to idiots. It is very helpful.
shark you can use as a reply to idiots pic.twitter.com/P84k1Cj83h
— ruby (@rubyetc) April 7, 2015
+ This five-part webseries, Wildcats, landed in the tips section of my inbox recently and I gave it a go over coffee and a piece of toast.
WILDCATS is a comedic short series created by Rachel Puchkoff focusing on a group of young girls in High School. Specifically Allison, a Varsity Cheerleader who struggles with her sexuality while opposing sexist traditions at her school (and trying to work out if one caused the other) all while keeping up appearances and trying not to shit her pants.
I genuinely dislike a lot of things, but reader, I liked this. I don’t know what happened. I’d watch a full-length film of this webseries. Part Two is some brilliance. I didn’t want it to end.
Hey speaking of Five Nights at Freddy’s! Photo of the Day: When Penguins Attack.
Absolutely fucking horrifying. Have a nice weekend everyone!
Congrats on your new life! I’m so excited for you and your wife!!
Laneia, do you ever listen to podcasts/if so have you come across The Crimson Wave? Because I feel like you would love it (and Deanne Smith was even one of their guests :) )
i haven’t listened to podcasts in so long because i lost my headphones and haven’t replaced them yet (I KNOW) but omg i’m going to listen to this so hardddd. thank you lins!
so i was skimming the comments and i saw “the crimson wave” and immediately thought ‘OH MY GOD THE TITLE IS IT OFFICIAL MAKE A CLUELESS REFERENCE DAY???!!!’ which i got really excited about. but after switching my brain on and actually reading, it turns out this was unrelated to clueless. but that podcast sounds great so i mean it all turned out ok in the end! i just got excited about clueless reference day thats all.
now if you’ll excuse me, im going to go break in my purple clogs
Totally thought the same – not just you! :p
Jesus fuck, that penguin is the stuff of nightmares.
it really truly is.
Agreed. All those tiny teeny pointy teeth! So many teeth…
I envision it as confronting a seal trying to eat it. “You want a piece of me??”
Penguins are one of the most badass creatures on the planet, imo.
Dear Kates sound amazing and potentially so much cheaper (and more comfortable? Can anyone attest to that?) than buying liners in the long run.
SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE.
Personally I still use liners some of the time — the instructions say to follow your normal regimen — but the peace of mind I get on my worst days and overnight it SO WORTH THE MONEY. I especially wish I had had these as a teenager!
I love my Dear Kates! idk if I’ve saved money overall, but I definitely go through way fewer pads and tampons a month than I used to. And they’re definitely a lot more comfortable!
Holy crap that penguin is terrifying.
Also I think the Haim hair link is broken? Could just be my browser though. I need to read it because of reasons.
I really wish I could befuriend Iris Apfel. We could share clothes and she could teach me how to be that awesome!
Also also also springfield mo just had our nondiscrim repealed and it’s worth a mention. It’s the buckle of the Bible Belt, it’s the headquarters of the Assemblies of God, and we taught 14,000 people what gender pronouns are and how to be better trans allies. We almost won the damn
*the damn thing *
And it’s a big fucking deal
Oh my god, I should have heeded the tissues warning for the coming out vids. They were so lovely I want to watch them forever.
Thanks for the timely Sabra warning, somehow hadn’t heard about that and am about to run to the grocery store. Also congrats to you and your new spouse person!
I was not mentally prepared for that penguin..
Rejoice! We helped with SCIENCE!
Sweeeeet, new webseries!! Wildcats is funny.
1- That Saint Harridan video was just wonderful.
2- I just finished “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” and I was repeatedly amazed by Maya Angelou’s eloquence and beauty in words. Very cool that she’s getting her own postage stamp… despite the embarrassing misquote from the USPS.
3- I love the videos from Kristen and Danielle so much. (Weird coincidence – last night I had a very vivid dream that I came out to my parents.)
4- I can’t stop looking at that penguin.
5- and now I have a dozen tabs open…
i just wanted to remind you in general that i am a big fan of your work