I’ve received some very presumptuous and useless PR emails in my day but let me tell you what, the ones I read in my inbox on this day really took the cake. Really took the cake, friends. I’m having a smoothie to chill myself out. Do you like a pineapple in your smoothie? I fucking do. A little pineapple, some strawberries. Put a banana in there if you need to, maybe some yogurt. How do you feel about parsley? I’ll be honest, I was on a parsley smoothie bender there for a while and then I took it too far, added too much parsley, and now I can’t stand the thought of it. I miss those early days, when the parsley was just a whisper and it was gentle and good. In the end, it was I who imprudently gave the parsley too much power, too much control. You have to maintain firm control over your herbs at all times. Be vigilant. What if ‘villagent’ was a word? What would it mean do you think? Would it be when all members of a village kept careful watch over something? Maybe.
Queer as in F*ck You
On Liking Women. Well fuck me right up, this piece is great.
PC Language Saved My Life. A take.
Welcome to the Hellmouth
Trump Administration to Target Legal Pot and “This is outrageous”: Politicians react to news that A.G. Sessions is rescinding the Cole Memo. Sometimes I get tired of capitalizing other publications’ titles so that they match each other visually on this page and I hope you forgive these times with the same level of compassion and patience you’d afford someone you truly loved, like a grandparent or a puppy.
Donald Trump Embraces the Streisand Effect or Donald Trump Is a Stupid Piss-Baby.
Would Twitter Ever Suspend Trump’s Account? Hmmmm we’re asking if some cishet white dudes would ever do anything useful and good that didn’t directly and inordinately benefit just them? Idk man.
Jewish Woman Is Creating the World’s First Vagina Museum. It’s like I know there’s a pun in here I just can’t quite find it and I have to publish this post before the end of the day but, you know?
Here’s a 10-minute documentary you should watch: After Hurricane Maria, A New Crisis in Puerto Rico: Mental Health.
Saw This, Thought of You
Ask Polly: Why Am I So Lazy? Raise your hand if you see yourself in this article OK almost all hands are raised cool cool.
This is sad but also good but sad. Two dying memoirists wrote bestsellers about their final days. Then their spouses fell in love.
— One Day at a Time (@OneDayAtATime) January 4, 2018