Also.Also.Also: Let’s Be Old While We’re Still Young and Other Stories We Missed

Raise your hand if you woke up craving my grandmother’s fried potatoes and pork chops! Here are some stories we missed while I was eating Bran Flakes from TJ’s which ARE NOT fried, potatoes, or pork chops.

You Should Go or Do or Give

+ Hey you should support this cool wine tasting situation because it’s run by some queer women and we love ’em! Bottle Bracket Interactive Wine Club:

Studies show that your perception of wine changes depending on the wine’s price, label and expert ratings — for example, the higher the price, the more you assume you’ll enjoy the wine. We created Bottle Bracket to challenge these perceptions.

Queer as in F*ck You

+ This was a huge study and it’s SO IMPORTANT. Read up: When Sex Means Survival for LGBTQ Teens by Shauna Miller.

First, Dank clarifies the issue of choice in survival sex involving LGBTQ teens. “To the extent this can be considered a choice, it is born out of the fact that there are no other choices,” she says. “Language when it comes to this is so difficult; if you say they have a choice, that implies full agency, that they had other options. This is very much about resilience.”

Homelessness is a primary driver for LGBTQ teens turning to survival sex, according to the report. It cites national statistics showing that as many as 50 percent of homeless or runaway youth trade sex for shelter or for money to provide shelter for themselves, and that 48 percent of transgender people involved in sex work overall also report experiencing homelessness. A 2007 study of LGBTQ teens in New York revealed that LGBTQ youth were seven times more likely to have traded sex for shelter than heterosexual teens, and that transgender teens were eight times more likely.

Researchers also found that more than half of the respondents (54 percent) used any earnings from survival sex to buy food first. While conducting interviews for the study, Dank recalls how often the research team ordered pizza for the subjects. “I can’t tell you how many of them had not eaten in more than 24 hours,” she says. “They were weak. They didn’t have a dollar for a slice of pizza.”

+ The Supreme Court will hang out with Gay Marriage on April 28!

+ LGBT Parents Are More Willing to Adopt Harder-to-Place Kids by Rachel Williams and Debbie Andalo.

+ Erskine College’s View on ‘Sin’ Jolts Gay Athletes.

So it was jarring to many last week when Erskine publicly condemned same-sex relationships, calling them sinful, in what was widely interpreted as a direct or indirect response to the two volleyball players.

Hayley Rogers, 21, the editor of Erskine’s student paper, The Mirror, said that if she were in the position of Mr. Varona and Mr. Davis, she would have felt “personally attacked” and “discriminated against,” even if that was not the college’s intention.

+ Sally Kohn has some feelings about how being gay should be a choice. I don’t know you guys, I’m really into Kohn’s whole direction lately.

I agree, kind of. Last week I wrote an essay for The Washington Post in which I talked about wanting my daughter to be gay — implicitly and explicitly challenging the idea long advanced by gay rights advocates that being gay is not a choice. I’m not saying being gay necessarily is a conscious choice for many queer folks today, but I am saying it should be able to be a choice — and one that is “equally desirable to being straight.”

In other words, for me, the idea that people might be able to choose to be gay is a natural extension of eliminating the second-class, lesser-than status of gayness in society.

Doll Parts

+ Hillary Crosley Coker‘s new video series for Jezebel, This Broad’s Life, starts off strong with Janet Mock. Gah this is so GOOD.

+ Ariana Vives interviewed Emily Lindin of The UnSlut Project: Let’s Make the Word “Slut” Obsolete.

+ Well fuck this is also so good. Ashley Ford with Why I Want to Live Like I’m 40 In My 20s.

Over coffee, I talked to one of my mentors about my frustration with the trajectory of my life. I’d gotten over feeling old, but I still felt stuck. She was everything I wanted to be. A successful writer, honest, warm and what I like to call, “fuckless.” “Fuckless” being the state of giving few, if any, fucks about what others think of you, or what you choose to do. It’s not about apathy as much as it is a certainty about who you are and what you’re meant to do in this world. I saw that in her, and I wanted to live that way as well, with confidence and a sure stride. I wanted to say what I meant and do what felt right. When I told her as much she responded, “Honey, you’ll be the same way when you’re 40. This is what happens to all women when we turn 40.” We laughed, and continued sipping our coffee and talking MFAs, publishing and lit scene gossip. Through it all, there was a clear thought in the back of my head: I don’t want to wait until I’m 40.


+ Ann Friedman would like to chat with you On Being a Badass.

+ Do you want to run screaming and crying into a large field, where you can collapse and feel sad and sick forever? This is a good catalyst: More Large Companies Are Run By Men Named John Than By Women.

+ Take a look at the #DearMe campaign!

Saw This, Thought of You

+ Watch UC Berkeley Students School Their Professor About Institutionalized Racism on Colorlines.

+ In light of the DOJ report: Ferguson’s Conspiracy Against Its Black Citizens and Ferguson Police Tolerated Sexual Harassment of Female Officers.

+ Also Sarah Kendzior has this report: Ferguson Inc. — The city’s protest movement tries to find a path forward.

+ If you’ve ever watched someone you love die of a drawn-out, painful terminal disease, this will break your fucking heart. A Painful Truth — No Relief for 5.5 Billion People. I mean, that’ll break your fucking heart either way.

A new United Nations report estimates that about 5.5 billion people – a staggering 75 percent of the world’s population – have limited or no access to proper pain relief treatment.

+ HEY SPEAKING OF PAIN MANAGEMENT Ben & Jerry Says “Maybe” to Weed-Infused Ice Cream and um, Texas Republican Wants to Legalize Pot Because “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes” [!!?].

+ Descendants of Holocaust Survivors Have Altered Stress Hormones.

+ Scientists Have Composed Music Just For Your Cat so everybody say thank you scientists!

+ UM EXCUSE ME Woman Controls Fighter Jet Sim Using Only Her Mind!

+ Orange Is The New Black Will Return June 12 REJOICE.

Local Autostraddle Meet-Ups

+ Our very first International Staycation Spectacular is happening March 14 and you should go I MEAN STAY.

And Finally

You pick! Chuck Jones’ Rules for Writing Road Runner Cartoons or Adorable Animals That Are Surprisingly Violent.

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Laneia is the Director of Operations and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 930 articles for us.


  1. I remember my professor and I having that same conversation about being queer by choice, and how celebrating the possibility of choice can help alleviate some of the shame and stigma that still surrounds it, especially in the South.

    Also, it’s like every SC college is determined to embarrass themselves. Still mad at my alma mater, USC Upstate.

  2. That article about being a badass. Yes. Because there definitely is this pressure (especially in whitewater cultures) to be “one of the dudes” to prove that you’re a badass and rough and tough and “not like other girls”. And then you can also go too far into the being one of the dudes, and then not be taken seriously because you’re not visibly upset. That happened to me this summer–I had a bad swim on the last rapid, and I knew something was wrong pretty soon after I came up and the adrenaline wore off. My friends waved off my concerns because if I were seriously hurt, it would be apparent and I’d be a lot more upset. I ended up having a cracked rib. But that’s much less common than being dismissed for being too emotional (particularly, too nervous or not confident enough to run something, which is the biggest thing that pisses me off: it takes guts to own up to your skills (or even just how you’re feeling that day on class V+) and get out of your boat and hike something, because making the right call there is the hardest thing to do, and the wrong call of choosing to run something you’re not feeling is super dangerous. It’s a decision that falls completely 100% inside the realms of badass, even though it’ll never make it onto a highlight reel).

    On a lighter note, I really like the music snippets for the cats? Like, I wish they were full songs because they’d make a great study playlist. I’m super excited about getting to play them for my cats in a week though, too.

  3. Texas Republicans want to legalize pot because God doesn’t make mistakes? Is anyone else having flashbacks to that old Bill Hicks routine?

    “Making pot illegal is like saying God made a mistake. Like, on the 7th day, he looked down and said ‘There it is, my creation. Perfect and holy in all ways. Now I can rest. …Oh my me! I left fuckin’ pot everywhere! If I leave pot everywhere, it’s going to give people the idea that they’re supposed to use it. [very disappointed sounding] Now I have to create Republicans.’ So you see, it’s a vicious cycle.”

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