Also.Also.Also: Ellen DeGeneres and the Prison of Her Own Making, Plus Other Stories for Your Week

Well I don’t know about you but my hair looks great today AND I have oranges in my kitchen, sooooo feeling PRETTY GOOD about this week.

Queer as in F*ck You

Ellen DeGeneres And The Limits Of Relatability. Whew this is good.

BRIT Awards 2019: LGBT+ Musicians Lead Nominations

Netflix Won’t Film Series in North Carolina Over Anti-LGBT Law

There Has Been A Resurgence Of Detentions Of LGBT People In Chechnya, According To Reports

‘Feminist’ Groups Teaming Up With Phyllis Schlafly’s Organization to Put Trans Kids’ Safety at Risk

Denver Votes to Ban Conversion Therapy

Yao Xiao on Communicating Ideas and Emotions through Illustrations

Missy Elliott Will Be the First Woman in Hip-Hop Inducted to the Songwriter Hall of Fame

More in Japan Identify As LGBT As Social Awareness Grows, Study Finds

Tegan and Sara Announce Their Debut Memoir, High School

Need to make sure you’re aware of Femme Birds on Instagram !!! Also Butch Birds. Y’all, queers are better at everything.


Saw This, Thought of You

Woman With Rare Medical Condition Unable to Hear Men’s Voices 🙏

After the ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ Documentary, #MeToo Has Finally Returned to Black Girls

How to Get Out of Bed When You’re Depressed

A Short and Brief History of the Women Behind the Jam Band Scene

Millions of College Students Are Going Hungry

The Real Question Isn’t How to Save Abortion Rights, but How to Prepare for Their Absence

What to Do With All Your Stuff That Doesn’t ‘Spark Joy’

These Teen Girls Are Sharing Their Guatemalan Culture Through Photos


Political Snacks

Five Women Start Texas Legislature’s First LGBTQ Caucus

The Longest Government Shutdown in History, in Photos

Tulsi Gabbard Once Touted Working for Anti-Gay Group That Backed Conversion Therapy

Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here. She's 37, has two kids, two dogs, one cat, one Megan, and some personal essays.

Laneia has written 916 articles for us.

28 Comments

    • I did think it was important though- the whole thing seems to be cynical and dull… I know I’m not the only one getting fed up with corporate pride, the desexualisation of homosexuality to make it more palatable and a general sense ‘you’ve got marriage and Hayley Kiyoko, what more do you whingers want?’

    • nitpicking this single gay woman for not adequately representing the current party line of the queer community, vaguely under the guise of rejecting her as a model of respectability politics but spending significantly more time and effort trying to articulate the vague sense of “she’s old and bugs me”, is the height of irony

  1. Disappointed in Autostraddle for sharing that Jezebel article on low-frequency hearing loss. Not being able to hear “men’s” voices might seem funny in a haha-cute-misandry way (apparently to a lot of people?), but the article is super ableist and transphobic.

    First: low-frequency hearing loss is not as rare as the article makes it out to be, and it’s not a walk in the park either. Seeing it repeatedly painted as something benign, temporary, and “fun” is a slap in the face to the people who have this condition. It often comes with a side of vertigo and tinnitus—an added bonus to having to constantly ask people to repeat themselves, or not hearing traffic, or…

    Second: It feels like this shouldn’t even have to be stated, but men aren’t the only people who have low voices. (And, you know, some *don’t* have low voices at all.)

    • a million upvotes to this comment ^^^

      in addition to the points you made, which YES are the exact ones i’ve been low-key stewing about all day seeing this article shared ad nauseam, potentially not being able to hear or focus on catcallers /doesn’t make them stop existing/. it puts a woman in a place of vulnerability, unable to be prepared to protect herself from escalating aggressive behavior (i’ve seen deaf women, women wearing headphones or on phone calls, etc., be followed or attacked with increasing agitation in a “b**** i KNOW you can HEAR me” way).

      waking up and not being able to hear your (live-in?) partner’s voice also just sounds like a really traumatic experience to go through, regardless of anyone’s gender. sorry, can’t share in any cute meme enjoyment on this one.

    • Thanks for saying this (also, awkward that I have the same display name as the previous commenter, but a diametrically opposed viewpoint.)

      I have a low-ish voice, am the daughter of a woman with an even lower voice (people often think she’s a man on the phone), and I’m friends with and date trans women, some of whom also have low voices.

      I don’t always want to hear what men have to say, but I love and appreciate low voices that belong to women, and conflating low voices with gender or sex is weird and, yeah, transphobic.

  2. The Ellen article was so good! I was in middle school when she came out, and I remember seeing that Time magazine in my parents’ bedroom and staring at it for a good long while. I have so much respect for what Ellen went through and how hard she fought for the progress we’ve made; at the same time, I think there’s room in this new world for rawer, realer versions of the truth she fought to be able to tell. She doesn’t have to be the person to tell them – the next generation of queer storytellers and entertainers can work on that – but as such, when she tells us she forgives Kevin Hart or whatever, I’m just not sure how relevant that recommendation is to our lives. Anyway Shannon said all of this better in the article so, yeah! I’m excited about a world in which we can celebrate Ellen’s many accomplishments while also recognizing the limits of privileged, white “niceness.”

    • Oh man, that whole Kevin Hart situation was a MAJOR fumble on her part. Straight people really do think she’s like the President of the Gays or something and that she speaks on behalf of all of us. In the end, it looks like she got used because that was only his first stop on his “non-apology” tour. He has since appeared on 6 different talk shows under the guise of promoting his new movie but instead used those appearances to further his agenda that he is the victim in all of this. Just yesterday he told The Breakfast Club that anybody offended by those homophobic jokes was just “looking to be offended”. So which it is? Are you truly sorry or are we all “just too sensitive”? Mind you this is the same rhetoric he used in his first so-called “apology” back in 2015. Ellen seems to have given him the benefit of the doubt based on her previous relationship with him but if anybody else had said the things that he did I don’t think she would have used her major platform to advocate on their behalf and beg us all to forgive them. Especially since I’ve seen multiple people use his appearance on her show as a reason for why we should get over it. “Ellen said it’s okay so why can’t you let it go?”. She really is the MLK of the LGBT community, in the sense that straight people use her for every excuse as to why they are totally not homophobic. The same way white people use that one sentence they know from MLK’s “I Have A Dream” speech to beat black people over the head with when they’ve said something completely out of pocket that they want to get off the hook for.

      I remember when Ellen first came out, all that it cost her, and respect the empire she’s built since then. But Ellen isn’t always right and yeah she is a bit out of touch these days.

      • I think Tre’vell Anderson said it best:

        “I’m not one to tell many people to “stay in your lane,” but Kevin Hart is a Black man who once “joked” he’d break a doll house over the head of his Black son; my granny once said “truth is always told in jest.” As a Black queer someone who, when my body began to manifest aspects of my identity even I was unaware of — a sway in my walk, a bend in my wrist — was punched in the chest by Black men in my family and told to “man up,” Ellen can’t and doesn’t speak for me.

        What I know is that whatever apologies do come from Hart need to recognize the particular racial aspect of this conversation. Yes, all LGBTQ people regardless of race have the potential to be harmed by his words. And no, the Black community is not more homophobic or anti-queer than others. But Hart is one of the most recognizable Black faces in pop culture and that’s why he should especially seek forgiveness from Black queer folks in addition to his broader appeals, something DeGeneres can’t grant.”

      • When it comes anyone reaching the status of cultural representative that you never asked to be it’s a constant “damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation. If you’re not faulted for being to confrontation with differences (as many did complain her show had old show became TOO GAY) than your faulted for not being confrontational enough. It’s like the question of wither Native Americans actors will only find progress from taking roles that could be played by anyone person defying any stereotypical pretense or if the medium should be utilized to give voice to struggles that others haven’t experienced.

        I remember an interview Ellen gave right about the time her character was scheduled to come out on her sitcom and she said something to the effect that yes some straight will complain that by talking about that part of myself I set a bad example for children, yet some gay people will simultaneously complain that I’m safe on television and not out waving a flag in that gay rights march. “I’m just going to be pissing a lot of people off no matter what I do.”

        Since she’s been in the position of having lost a lot to controversy it is possible she sympathizes with Kevin Hart more as a celebrity in public fallout than anything else. Which is fine I suppose, though in having their situations compared it does reinforce the notion so many straight people are holding on to that claims of homophobia (true/false) are as harmful as antigay prejudice its self. That’s like saying claims of racism are just as bad or worse as actually being the victim of racism. It’s absurd, but a lot of people really believe this.

        Which is why I assume that one sentence from MLK’s “I Have A Dream” speech your referring to (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) is that part about skin color not as important as character. Because I agree it’s been totally stripped of context into suggesting race should be completely irrelevant. Mostly by white people, though unfortunately I’ve read quotes from black people doing this as well. I look at it this way. He could have just as easily said in speaking for immigrants families “just not by the nation of their parents birth, but by their contributions to this nation.” That wouldn’t have meant where you came would now and forever by considered socially and culturally inconsequential.

    • I’m amazed that people see the Kevin Hart thing as a decision made exclusively by Ellen and not some order from corporate.
      I mean, the guy is in the middle of a promotional campaign for his new movie in which he tries to be a “serious actor”. Lots of people have lots of money riding here.
      I honestly don’t think that’s on Ellen, she has a boss too.

      • Oh, I definitely don’t think it’s just her that made that decision. The producers are on Twitter being super defensive about having him on the show. But she’s naturally going to get the brunt of the blame because it’s her name on the show, she’s the most famous lesbian in the world and she’s called him a friend. There were also a couple of Kevin’s celeb friends who were publicly begging for Ellen to have him on to explain himself as if it were her responsibility to do so. There’s a reason she was his first stop on his promo tour and I put that more on his team than Ellen’s.

      • can i upvote this comment a million times? i have tangential social connections to the entertainment industry, and this right here is why i can’t participate in the callout culture outrage against celeb gaffes 99% of the time, especially if promo is blatantly involved… all too often it’s not actually the decision of the people who get the worst of the criticism.

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