Also.Also.Also: Eat Lunch Alone in a Radical Park and Other Stories for Your Weekend

Hey here’s the thing: this day began as yours and it’ll end as yours. It’s always like this. Some parts are total shit and others are constellations of incomprehensible brightness. It’s all yours. You put the parts in order from least to most importance. You compartmentalize and ignore and fantasize and settle and plan and plot and work through it all, all the time. You have always done this and you always will. You are the steadfast real thing that keeps your heart beating and your mind spinning — you you you. Every fleck of gracious bold shocking hilarious energy you send out is absorbed by someone, something, somewhere. Not a single fucking thing you’ve ever done has been for naught.

It’s outlandish that we’re all here being this big and this soft and this small and this important all the time, but we are.

Thanks for that.

Queer as in F*ck You

+ Why I Got a Double Mastectomy to Feel More Like My True Myself.

+ This Chicago Party is Changing the Social Landscape for Queer Women.

+ Hayley Kiyoko On Her Hit ‘Girls Like Girls’ And Queer Representation In Music.

+ Painting and Recording Queer Lives in Kansas City.

Doll Parts

+ Read this from Kari Mugo: The Uncounted: “There are many of us who have learned to forget to remember. To speak with mouths closed, burying the resurrections of the past.”

+ Naming Black Women and Girls and the Violence Against Them.

+ How Your Hellish Period Can Become a Powerful Creative Force. Yes.

+ Uninhibited Chinese Swimmer, Discussing Her Period, Shatters Another Barrier. ?

+ The Comedy World Can’t Handle Rape Allegations.

+ Filmmaker Tracy Droz Tragos Centers Abortion Stories in New Documentary.

+ Four Strong As Hell Women Share What They Learned From Weightlifting.

Saw This, Thought of You

+ How to Eat Lunch Alone.

+ When Parks Were Radical.

And Finally

We keep Autostraddle majority free-to-read, but it isn't free to create! We need YOU to sign up for A+ to help keep this indie queer media site funded. A+ membership starts at just $4/month or $30/year. If you can, will you join?

Join A+


Laneia is the Director of Operations and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 916 articles for us.


  1. I’ve been travelling alone for ten days now for the first time in my life! I didn’t even think about it. But eating my lunches alone feel like a pretty easy thing to do in foreign cities. I just people watch, look on my phone for things to do next, etc.

    Also thanks for that article about mastectomy. I have a weird relationship with my boobs. I had reduction surgery at 19 and while I’m glad I didn’t wait longer to have it I wish I’d known enough back then to TELL my surgeon how much he should remove. Instead he alone decided how small/large my breast should be relative to my torso to be what I assume he considers “normal” without ever asking me if that was what I wanted. I was so happy so much of it was gone after they removed the bandages but I remember a tiny part of me thinking “I wish they were even smaller”. Now if I gain a tiny bit of weight and the boobs gain some as well, I feel horribly uncomfortable and like I’ve got these two masses poking out.

    • I could have written this exact thing about breast reduction too. Also as I get older I panic more about them getting larger again (despite being around 20lbs lighter now than when I had the surgery, my boobs have grown to around 2 cup sizes larger since then).

      I sometimes think about getting surgery again, but the recovery took a while last time (a few months) and I can’t take that much time off my physically demanding career right now.

      Glad you are enjoying your travel. It can feel very liberating :)

    • I really want to go travelling alone it sounds amazing. I’m starting to realise how bloody great it is to actually just go out and do things alone for fun, instead of waiting on people. You feel so free. Travelling would be a whole new level.

  2. Okay that article about Rae’s top surgery was a great and important read this morning. I’ve loved Rae since I saw Suited a month or two ago…

    BUT. Chloe, you can probably tell me – was your experience of recovery as long and painful sounding as Rae’s? Because that part of their story terrified me.

    (I want a major reduction, not a mastectomy, and I realize they’re different procedures).

    • I was actually in very little pain ! But I stayed in the hospital for three days hooked on painkillers (I think I felt pain the first night, but I’ve got very little memory of it because i had just woken up from surgery).

      Drains were removed just before leaving the hospital (day three or four). After that my chest was bound in bandages and I had a heavy duty sportbra on (required by surgeon to hold everything in place). The recovery after that was more frustrating than painful. I was home for two weeks forbidden to even lift my arms above my head (had to get family and friends to wash my hair in the sink). I remember my tits becoming hypersensitive while they healed (I was turned on by the simplest touch!) but then it stopped overtime.

      So yeah, nothing terrible for me :). Just long and a bit frustrating. It helped that I was living at my parents at 19 so I didn’t have to worry for a month about grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning !

  3. I’ve typed this comment over a few times but the things I really want to say are these:

    – Thank you for sharing the Rae Tutera article. I’m having a literal, physical epiphany and I’m frightened but I think it’s necessary, because I’m too good at ignoring my crumbling relationship with my body and my gender.

    – Thank you for your words at the top of the article; I skipped them at first, but they’re exactly what I needed to read after I accidentally cracked myself open.

  4. That article about Rae was a bit inspiring to me, because it was just great to read about a trans woman who is a surgeon helping the community(vs the regular stories we see frequently about the trans community).

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!