Also.Also.Also: Check Out Your Cervix, Figure Out These Snacks, and Other Stories for Your Weekend

I have something really important that we have to settle today. This was briefly touched on in Riese’s 22 Sandwich Cookies, Ranked, but we have to delve deeper. What the hell kind of food is an oatmeal creme pie? And a moon pie, for that matter. What is it?? It’s not a sandwich cookie. It clearly calls itself a pie but what the fuck kind of pie do you know that’s actually a sandwich?? None! You know no pies that are actually sandwiches because that’s not real! WHY IS IT CALLED A PIE? If it’s not a pie (it’s not) or a sandwich cookie (it’s not), then what. the grand heck. is it? A small layer cake? Why are we calling it a pie? What other sandwiched snacks are calling themselves pies like this? I’ll tell you one thing: google isn’t going to save us here.

not-pies-ok

We are on our on.

You Should Go or Do or Give

+ Join Ingrid Michaelson and Kristin Russo on 11/11 in Charlotte, NC, for a concert for equality!

+ Want to participate in this Mixed Sex Bisexual Couples Study? Well ya can!


Queer as in F*ck You

+ Transgender Voters Prepare for Challenges at the Polls

+ The Simple Secret Weapon That Could Change Elections. Meet the woman behind the movement.

+ LGBTQ Immigrants Come to America for Refuge and End Up in Detention Centers.

+ The Feministing Five: Ericka Hart.

+ Gaby Dunn on Why We’d Rather Talk About Sex Than Money, and How I Plan to Change It.

+ Attention, Advertisers: Lesbian Buy Stuff Too. There’s a Riese interview in there!

+ Why Queer Retellings of Classic Stories Are So Necessary.

+ Masculine Dress Shoes for All Genders.

+ Jill Soloway and Eileen Myles talk creativity, ‘queer’ art and the end of their relationship. Super chill.

+ Experiencing Hate as a Queer Woman.

+ How the Next Generation of Doctors is Learning to Treat Transgender People.

+ “This is Just What Success Looks Like”: The Illuminating Work of Saeed Jones

+ Apple iOS 10.2 Emoji Update is Very Good News for Lesbian Astronauts. I do not write the headlines, nor would I change them.

+ HAHAHAHAHA.


Doll Parts

+ At Va-Jay-Jay Day, Angelenas Can Sneak a Peek at Their Cervix. Consumed with jealousy. Cannot go on.

+ Venus and Serena Williams Open Center for Victims of Violence in Compton.

+ Beyoncé’s “Daddy Lessons” is a reminder of country music’s black and West African roots.

+ The Importance of Facial Equality.

+ 5 African Webseries Created by Black Feminists.

+ Black Lives Matter activists sue Manhattan DA’s office for letting NYPD prosecute their summons cases.

+ How Our Legal System Punishes Moms Who Smoke Pot.

+ Watch A Día De Los Muertos Tribute From Mariachi Flor De Toloache. Did you know that your very own Yvonne Marquez was also in a mariachi band? NOW YOU DO.

+ Gender in Fashion is Dead. Vice with some spicy hot takes this week.

+ How Hillary Clinton Met Satan, which I almost spelled as “Stan,” which wouldn’t be nearly as interesting I guess.


Saw This, Thought of You

+ This is massive and informative and everything. #NoDAPL: Updates, resources, and reflections is up on Native Appropriations.

+ Whose Homeland? “In the tribal bid for Bears Ears, deep questions and deep divisions arise.”

+ Fashion is Finally Paying Attention to Differently Abled Bodies.

+ Fox News, a Melodrama.

+ 300 Million Children Are Breathing ‘Extremely Toxic’ Air, UNICEF Says.

+ How to Become an Early Riser.

+ How Man Caves Took Over America’s Basements. If you guessed “by way of misogyny and the patriarchy, aka the fear and loathing of women and the resulting shrunken egos of heterosexual cis men,” you are correct.

+ Two-Headed Sharks Keep Popping Up, No One Knows Why. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

+ BRITNEY.


And Finally

Wish I could project this onto my living room and bedroom walls in a loop.


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Laneia

Laneia is the Director of Operations at Autostraddle and you're the reason she's here. Get in touch at laneia@autostraddle.com

Laneia has written 915 articles for us.

18 Comments

  1. I came here looking for answers, but all I found was more questions about cookies and pies. Life is full of mysteries….. and confused pies. I accept you for who you are cookie pie that resembles more of a cake full of creamy goodness.

  2. I think the oatmeal creme pie is totally a sandwich cookie. If somebody gave me one of the cookies from an oatmeal creme pie I’d be like “why’s this cookie so soft?” but I’d still recognize it as a cookie.

    What’s DEFINITELY not a pie is the Boston Cream Pie, which is absolutely a cake, and also I think it’s kinda gross.

  3. Y’all…. Beyoncé performing “Daddy Issues” with the Dixie Chicks was the collaboration I had no clue I needed! The blending of Bey and Natalie’s voices left me longing for an entire album.

    & it also made my huge liberal bleeding heart SO frickin’ happy to see the Chicks back on a stage that they were (figuratively) kicked off of so many years ago…. bringing down the house with another incredibly strong, intelligent and talented woman.

  4. I may or may not have gone down like an hour long rabbit trail reading about moonpies, whoopie pies, boston cream pies… the most vexing part to me was that I could find things addressing why whoopie pies were called that, but they only talked about the “whoopie” part which honestly doesn’t seem that mysterious or in need of explanation compared to these damn cake cookie things being called pies.

    also and unrelatedly: lesbian farmers courtesy of the new emojis. just sayin’.

  5. Let’s not forget the Whoopi pie, which says can be considered either pie, cookie, or cake. Then we have some people who refer to pizza as pizza pie. What’s the deal there?

    Also, found this via google trying to petition the dictionary to adjust the definitions of pie? Oxford English dictionary refers to pie as a baked dish that is pasty based on the crust and/or top, which I don’t think pizza is, but oatmeal cream pie, and others mention here could be. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/11417696/When-is-a-pie-not-a-pie-Foods-greatest-debate.html

  6. See, I would so love to take the a mixed sex bisexual couples study as a bisexual epidemiologist with a data fetish in a mixed-sex couple, but they had to go and make it for cohabitating couples! I am NOT that type of queer. What’s the opposite of U-Haul?

  7. Our mothers had women caves. It was called the Living Room to now where. The living room that as children we were not allowed to ever go in. The one room in the house that had matching furniture and knicknacks all over. The one place we rarely saw guests in. Now most of us can’t afford two nickels and thus can barely afford a studio.

    Actually my parents never had the luxury of one of those rooms. But I had some well do uncles and aunts that did.

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