Results for: no fucks to give
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MISSED CONNECTION: Gay Brunch Apology
You: The two women from my past who I judged too quickly during a chance brunch encounter
Me: The dyke who apparently projected her own hangups about middle school onto you
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Giving Poppers to Cis Women
“A cultural exchange from a person with a prostate to those without.”
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Making Amends with Valentine’s Day
I hid behind instruments, computers, Whitney’s voice, Prince’s guitar. I sat in front of my computer surrounded by cassettes, illegally downloading songs, awkwardly whispering “I love you more than I know how to explain and I’m scared so here’s a mixtape I made you.”
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Seeing the Wind: How It Feels To Be A COVID Nurse
The first time I took care of COVID patients, I felt helpless. I’d lost access to my purpose, to my spiritual practice that lives within deeply connecting to my patients. I felt undeserving of human connection. I’d become a “dirty” nurse.
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The Angsty Buddhist: Learning Anger And White Buddhism
When it comes to Buddhism and cultural appropriation, I still sometimes worry that I’m making a big deal out of nothing, that I’m angry for no good reason.
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A Letter to My Ex on the Occasion of The Danish Girl’s 5th Anniversary
“People were always so impressed that you didn’t leave me, but your gift wasn’t staying — it was seeing. Most people don’t get to transition under the pansexual gaze of someone who loves them the way you loved me.”
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Wild, Fat, Queer and Black: How I Became Free In The Mountains And Never Left
If you have ever met a mountain, you know that can’t nobody really own a mountain because they are too majestic, too strong, too beautiful to be tamed or owned. So I guess mountains are kinda like Black folk.
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How to Quit Smoking
Tell yourself that you’re not like one of those chain smokers, that you can stop whenever you want. Start smoking American Spirits, so it’s like, not even that bad for you because it’s natural, or organic, or something. You forget.
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I Tried New Trans Dating App Fiori and All I Got Was This Personal Essay
“She admired my tits like only someone else on estrogen could and then she grabbed them harder than anyone had before.”
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I Just Want to Look Like Greta Garbo: On Icons
Personal icons from Greta Garbo to Jenny Lewis: how we come by them, fall in love with them, and want to be like them. Who’s to say whether we’re really falling in love with them or with ourselves? Who’s to say whether we want to be them or be with them?
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“Work in Progress” Is Too Much and So Am I
Throughout its eight episodes Work in Progress showed the value in being there for people even when it’s hard – and the importance of knowing when to walk away.
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“Transparent” Changed Me (And TV) Forever
“Do you have something to tell us?” my mom joked. It was a joke, because of course I didn’t. “No,” I said with a laugh. And I thought I was telling the truth.
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Fleabag’s First Season Captures the Trauma of Being a Woman
“When it first came out I loved the show for its humor, for its raw portrayal of depression and grief, and because, like any rational person, I’m deeply in love with Phoebe Waller-Bridge. But it wasn’t until about a year into my transition that the show started consuming my thoughts.”
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Why Do So Many People Have Goodbye Horses as Their Tinder Anthem?
“When I first matched with the “Goodbye Horses” fans and asked them about it one said, “that buffalo bill scene is classic” and the other said, “I LOVE the song.” Then they both ghosted.”
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15 Crushes and the Art They Gave to Me
Listening to a song your crush recommends is a low-stakes window into their identity. It’s a way to get closer to someone, away from them. And isn’t that what a crush is all about? A solitary experience that has everything to do with the other person and at the same time nothing at all?
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“Sex Education” Taught Me How to Masturbate
“I wanted to be single so I could explore my sexuality. Instead I was exploring other people’s.”
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You’re Just You: An Accidental Love Letter to Los Angeles
“Towards the end of the night you fall and tear the skin on your knee. But you pop back up and keep skating. You’re relieved. Now that you’ve fallen once you know you’ll be okay.”
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How My Cat’s Anxiety Helped Me Be Gentler With Myself About My Own
“Why would I be gentle with myself when I was very clearly doing this thing — like so many other things in my life — wrong? No, I didn’t need gentleness. I needed more self-discipline, more conviction, more toughness. I needed to get my fucking shit together.”
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20 of the Best Personal Essays on Autostraddle in 2018
We published so much good work this year, and here is a fraction of it we think you will particularly enjoy reading back through!
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When You Wear An Agbada
“To understand my relationship with this symbol of masculinity, we’ll have to start with my journey of queerness I had no idea I had embarked upon until I was turning 28, the sleeves of my buba — the tailored Agbada shirt — all rolled up to my elbows and my fingers rubbing down on the clit of a girl I had only met a couple of times prior to that moment.”