“Soft butches everywhere? I don’t know what your heaven looks like, but this is mine.”

“Orange is the New Black” premieres today, here is your really thorough reading list — from Assata Shakur to nuns against nukes to incredible journalism on the various horrors of the U.S. criminal “justice” system.

Let’s take a trip back in time to Bali, Michigan, Nigeria, New Orleans, New York and many other fine fine locales.

Humans doing really terrible things to other humans!

Do you love Tim Curry? Cool, ’cause I’m gonna name eight movies that you forgot he was in.

“NPR is like a blanket; my parents didn’t believe in listening to music in the car and I did not really know there were other radio stations until my older sister drove me home from ice skating one day and my 6 year old brain exploded.”

What’s your favorite scene from the original Skins? Better decide now ’cause the US version starts TONIGHT, potentially changing everything forever.

Whether you’re the type who watches ‘Love Actually’ on loop from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve or you’re more of a Scrooge, we’ve got a suck-proof holiday playlist to tackle every mood. Cherry cherry boom boom, motherf*ckers.

P!nk’s Greatest Hits Record is about to drop but my fangirl heart knows it should probably be a two-disc set with the list of songs contained in this post. This is very important.