25 Titles We Considered For This Story About Sappho

Four editors. One ancient poet. This article. You won’t believe what happens next.


1. These Two New Sappho Poems Will Make You Even Gayer Than You Already Were

2. New Sappho Poems Will Save Obamacare from Repeal (or “Sappho Didn’t Have Health Insurance, Is Now Dead”)

3. Sappho Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

4. Despite Death, Sappho Keeps On Making Poems

5. Death Can’t Stop Sappho From Releasing New Lesbian Poetry

6. Sappho? I Barely Know Her (and Haven’t Even Read These Two New Poems They Just Found)!

7. Sappho’s New Poems Still Better Than Your Ex’s Despite Being Dead for Thousands of Years

8. You Need To Watch This Video of Sappho Calling Out Congress From Thousands of Years Ago

9. Has Sappho Peaked?

10. Sappho Is The New Black

11. VIDEO: Sappho Proposes to You With Zombie Flash Mob

12. You Won’t Believe What These Two New Sappho Poems Have To Say About The Human Condition

13. 25 Things Only Sapphos Understand

14. How Did These Two New Sappho Poems Make This Baby Cry?

15. Sappho Lindsay Lohan Evan Rachel Wood Sexy Sex Bisexual

16. One Dead Bisexual Poet. Two Previously Undiscovered Poems. You’ll Be Amazed By What Happens Next.

 

17. What It’s Like to Read These Two New Sappho Poems (a gif list)

18. Unpopular Opinion: I Don’t Really “Get” Why Everyone Likes Sappho So Much

19. It Happened To Me: I Read These Two New Sappho Poems and It Ruined My Life

20. Is Poetry Dead? Let’s Ask Sappho

21. Which Dead Lesbian Poet Are You

22. Will These Two New Sappho Poems Save the Millennial Generation?

23. What You Need To Know About Selfies and Sappho

24. 33 Fragments From Sappho Poems That Will Give You Life

25. 12 New Sappho Fragments As Translated by The Cast of AHS: Coven

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Rachel

Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1142 articles for us.

25 Comments

  1. Oh my gosh. #12 and #15 are incredible. But my fav: #22 “Will These Two New Sappho Poems Save the Millennial Generation?” If there’s gotta be one more stupid link or headline about Millenials, I want it to be about how Sappho and poetry will save us.

  2. This list is PERFECT and now I’m really tempted to mail “The Letters of Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf” to the lady I’m sort of maybe trying to woo (even though she lives literally a thousand miles away)…

  3. Also, a riff on #15:

    “Sappho Bisexual Calls From the Grave, Tells Evan Rachel Wood She Wants Her Suffix Back”

  4. Help I’ve spent the past 5 minutes trying to explain #15 to my roommate and her boyfriend. Best by far!!

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