25 Pictures of Lesbian Kink According To Stock Photography

Stock photo sites are very slowly getting better, and Shutterstock is mostly excellent, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still ridiculous. (My favorites are the captions, where a photo of two women spooning naked in bed tends to be called something like “best friends relaxing together.”)

Lesbian stock photography is often silly or awkward, especially when it comes to sex. And even though many kink-themed photos seem to be trying many more are misguided at best. Enjoy this journey through stock photography, then take a crack at captioning your own at the end!

All the photos below are via shutterstock.com.

25 Pictures Of Lesbian Kink According To Stock Photography

1.

Kristen Stewart on a dark night

Kristen Stewart on a dark night

2.

yes i am so enthusiastic look at my enthusiasm

There. I killed the spider. Can we go out for brunch now?

3.

definitely the best place to store my crop is in my mouth

Invisalign, baby

4.

i don't think this is the right kind of rope

i don’t think this is the right kind of rope

5.

i don't know where you're going with this

i don’t know where you’re going with this

6.

if i don't hold my hands up like this these cuffs fall off

if i don’t hold my hands up like this these cuffs fall off

7.

UNSAFE DO NOT DO THIS

UNSAFE DO NOT DO THIS

8.

all your "vague doppelganger of Lucy Lawless" fantasies are about to be read

All your “vague doppelganger of Lucy Lawless” fantasies are about to be real

9.

i don't think you were supposed to cuff yourself to me

i don’t think you were supposed to cuff yourself to me, I don’t think this is how this works

10.

don't worry guys i figured it out

Don’t worry guys i figured it out!

11.

you want me to hold the blindfold over my own eyes?

I’m ready for my surprise! I hope it’s confetti cake.

12.

best view

Best view ever

13.

yeah you totally do have a weird thing on your tongue

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL ROCKS!

14.

no one holding a whip would ever be pissed at me for just grabbing it right

no one holding a whip would ever be pissed at me for just grabbing it right

15.

no its my turn

no it’s my turn

16.

i can't believe we just match isn't that great it's so great

i can’t believe we just match isn’t that great it’s so great

17.

eyelash bondage

eyelash bondage

18.

pull hair from the roots, not from the ends

Pull hair from the roots, not from the ends

19.

i guess we can't use this crop we might wreck the balloons

Do you like these? We blew them ourselves.

20.

i really don't know where you're going with this

just keep smiling i have no idea

21.

are we doing bondage right

Hey are those your car keys in the punch bowl?

22.

boobs are the new vases

Boobs Are The New Vases

23.

i wish i had my nipple clamps

Soooo are we gonna do this or is it just gonna be a photo sesh?

24.

what if instead of hitting you properly we just pose for a while

What if instead of hitting you properly i just hang out here for a while?


25.

Your turn! How would you caption this one?

caption meeeeeee

caption meeeeeee

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 940 articles for us.

43 Comments

        • “15 things that we are trying desperately to make sound shocking and sexy that are really dull to read about about, poorly written, and completely miss the mark while still making you feel like a horrible, unattractive person and marginalizing anyone who is even vaguely different!

          Plus, an interview with yet another celebrity without any meaning, depth, or insight and pictures of them standing awkwardly against a single color backdrop with one hand on their hip!”

          I should totally write for Cosmo.

          • You just need a blurb on the side selling something that makes you more attractive and better at blow jobs so you can get/keep a dude. Something like $500 mascara made from puppy blood, real human tears, and subcutaneous scrotal tissue.

            But yes, I hope this isn’t your calling.

  1. Some of these women just have dead eyes. Like their agents booked them a gig, and they didn’t find out what they’d be doing until they showed up the day of.

    On a lighter note, the ladies in #16 look like they would be fun to take clubbing or somethings. Or like they’re already DJs with some kind of schtick.

      • No!
        Cause if it was a thing that happened I could have been there and asked, “Y’all what the fuck are ya doing!?” and gotten some damned answers.
        I’ll live, just live with the confusion but it’s nothing too special for a bisexual gemini person.
        Confusion is probably my natural state like a naked on a fresh outta the birth canal newborn. *drama face*

        • Well, we have two options here. I can explain #20 to you potentially causing much more confusion. But here’s a hint, it involves a scene that was edited out of the princess bride. Or since our holigays are really just beginning, we could have an actual holigay meetup, and hope to run into this just so you can ask questions.

          I have questions too. Mostly for that poor tree…

          • Everything comes back to the Princess Bride doesn’t it?

            By “our” holigays I assume you mean Carnivale season because no holiday is more filled with holigayness like a New Orleans Mardi Gras.

            Which if #20 was drag queens instead of models it would start to make sense and have context. Alcohol and the tree is just a pole in costume or a part of a wonderfully naughty lumberjack costume.

    • It’s not the male gaze! It is a little known fact that most lesbians suffer from Sinewaveaphilia! It’s why we lie around arching all the time, we’re attracted to curves. *rimshot*

      (It is however not a little known fact that I just made that shit up after five minutes searching the internet to check to see if there was a real word for that. Instead I found out that there is a great homeomorphic/bi continuous function joke lurking here somewhere. Or would be if I didn’t utterly fail at maths and maths related jokes.)

  2. still not over how deeply awkward #15 is. it’s like they were given a tip that lesbians use their hands for sex and they got confused somewhere along the way. “omg i can’t believe we’re totally doing it lesbian style for this photo shoot.”

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