WE'RE AT CAMP! Read all about it
The World's Most Popular Independently-Owned Website for Lesbian, Bisexual and Queer Women
Leave a Comment

//

90 Comments

We are somewhat broken

riese

Posted by

Hello and welcome to the 367th edition of "autostraddle is broken," starring whiskey kitten and my soul and your achey breaky heart. I am writing this post on a mobile app because I can't get into the WordPress dashboard, so forgive the choppy talk and lack of kitten photos. The site should be working on your end, we can all read and comment, but we can't get in to write or publish more posts today and I can't upload photos. We have decided instead of freaking out about this all day, we will let go, admit defeat re:this day, and instead focus on tomorrow and all subsequent tomorrows!

You may wonder why we are so often broken or running so slow. From what I understand, the answer is that this website was built when we had about 6,000 views a day and now we get 75,000 views a day and have expanded the breadth of the site to include much more than just a bunch of posts - the social networking element is a big drain, for example.

We are running approximately one billion plug-ins. (30, actually.) Imagine a cardboard house with a lot more cardboard taped to itself. That is this website. We just kept adding plugins and making galleries and adding features and so forth. At this point there's not much our host can do (we pay $900 a month for hosting), it's on us to rebuild the theme and more effectively code the things, I think? We're handling a load of features and traffic that usually is only handled by actual companies with salaried employees and full-time paid tech support OR by unfunded but mega popular blogs with very simple coding (eg hyperbole and a half).

We want to be more than we can be, but we didn't know it was too much until we built it. Today's problem is somehow related to JavaScript, but most of the problems we're having are that there are too many queries on each page due to our haphazard expansion.

It's frustrating and embarrassing and all of those things, and we're sorry. And we're taking the rest of the day to get our shit together. Tess is, as per ushe, working her ass off (on top of her full time job running her own business) to fix the javascript issue.

Our next step will most likely involve a kickstarter campaign to help raise funds to get the support we need to rebuild the theme and implement a redesign and make social networking work once and for all. Well, first I'm gonna cry softly in the shower while clutching tinkerbell to my chest (wrapped in a plastic bag to avoid water damage), then we'll get in to the rest of it.

You should peruse the archives and watch "words with girls"! It's funny and has cute girls in it.

You guys have always been the most patient, generous readers in the world, and we thank you for bearing with us and hopefully helping us get through this to the other side where you can all read posts underwater and chat with your mom. Right? Okay. I hope this is okay.

90 responses to “We are somewhat broken”

  1. inevitably.hyper

    i don’t think stuffed animals can get water damage from tears, it’s part of their ~~~magic

    Wow! Thumb up 30
    1. HeatherJoy

      Punched me right in the feels with that comment. So true.

      Thumb up 5
    2. Jet Harper

      I lo that this is the only comment, but I completley agree. :3

      Thumb up 0
    3. Sophie

      MIMSYYYYYYYYYY.

      Thumb up 0
  2. wasteunit

    I want all of you to consider yourselves hugged.

    Thumb up 18
    1. Digger

      Is there any level you won’t stoop to in order to cop a feel?

      Thumb up 8
    2. Rachel

      HUGGED

      Thumb up 2
  3. Ciara

    if your website is broken because too many people like it then i think this is more good than bad.

    Wow! Thumb up 38
  4. kira

    Hugs! All kinds of hugs & kind thoughts. Autostraddle is amazing and does so many amazing things with so very few resources, so four for you all!

    Thumb up 6
  5. dizzy

    No worries Riese! I’m sorry you guys have to deal with this. You just let us know about the kickstarter campaign and Imma reach for my wallet :)

    Thumb up 19
  6. Lizz

    I just got home from the UK and I am very jet lagged. I suspect the website is also jet lagged. It’s hard to live like we do.

    Thumb up 10
    1. Sar

      you’re back! hoorahh!! =)

      Thumb up 2
  7. Cat

    I have my final essay for the semester due in approximately 12 hours. I’m going to look at this as one less procrastination opportunity and celebrate my freedom on the other side by donating funds relative to the size of my love for AS to your kickstarter.

    Thumb up 5
  8. Cassandra

    I love you all and this is gonna be okay. You’ll figure it out. You always do.

    Thumb up 4
    1. Rachel

      this is so sweet, thank you

      Thumb up 0
  9. djcapelis

    The part I miss most is the pictures of whiskey kitten that should be attached to this post. Their absence signals the severity of this issue.

    I hope the world gets better by tomorrow.

    Thumb up 11
    1. Mary

      When I first saw that the site was broken, I was momentarily excited because I thought there would be a post composed entirely of kitten graphics. Autostraddle, if I give you money, will you give me kitten graphics?

      Thumb up 4
  10. Rachel

    *Resolves to put all pennies aside for the kickstarter campaign*

    But yes, pimpin’ ain’t easy, as they say :P
    Plus, dunno about the rest of y’all but I like to spend disproportionate chunks of my day procrastinating on the Autostraddle archives…and now I feel no “I should be studying/working/exercising instead” guilt by doing so, because Riese totes just ordered it. And Riese is God, right?
    Keep on truckin’ guys! Hope you can sort it out!

    Thumb up 4
    1. Laneia

      riese is pretty holy, it’s true.

      Thumb up 0
  11. SpamBot

    You guys are troopers!
    I’ll donate the hell out of a kickstarter campaign.

    Thumb up 2
  12. ladyrainicorn

    Glancing at the title, I totally thought this was gonna be some super emotional long form essay with all the feelings and such.

    Thumb up 14
    1. Laneia

      you know us too well

      Thumb up 1
  13. Zero

    I’m actually doing research at my uni on how to make website creation/design easy and cheap for nonprogrammers. I wish us both luck

    Thumb up 2
  14. Maria

    You guys! It’s too bad you are just so awesome and popular and have such a huge following :) I am ready to throw my money at you whenever your fundraiser is ready for it. Thanks for working so hard for us!

    Thumb up 2
    1. Rachel

      no thank YOU

      Thumb up 0
  15. kd15

    I would sing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ to Autostraddle, but I can’t sing worth shit so I’ll just think it.

    Thumb up 6
  16. eh

    Sending love and positive vibes your way! Please don’t stress too much Reise, hope you and Marni have fun celebrating her birthday tonight! I think I speak for all of us when I say we’ll still be here and just as loyal come tomorrow.

    <3

    Also, I'm making a collection jar for my small change just for that kickstarter campaign, even though I wish I could give soo much more since you all are so amazing!

    Thumb up 3
  17. Marlo

    Sends love, hugs and the glitter still in my hair from pride to the team. Everything will be okay.

    Thumb up 3
    1. Rachel

      GLITTER <3

      Thumb up 0
  18. Paper0Flowers

    You know what would maybe be an idea for raising moar moniez? Sell merch with Whiskey Kittens on it. Seriously, I’d buy that shit. (But I buy and throw moniez at you guyz for everything, so I may not be impartial. Mebbe.)

    Thumb up 11
    1. pips

      no, this is legit. i would buy at least two items of whiskey kitten merch.

      Thumb up 1
      1. Laneia

        SHOT GLASSES

        Thumb up 1
        1. Paper0Flowers

          PERFECT!

          Thumb up 0
        2. cynthia

          + kitten-shaped whiskey stones.

          Thumb up 0
  19. Marina

    You guys are using WP Super Cache, right?
    The browser inspector says there is an unexpected token in dropdowns.js.
    And… jquery.js is not found.

    Personally, I think it’d be best to separate the social features from the main WordPress installation. Since WordPress wasn’t really designed to fulfill that role, whatever plugins you add are going to tax the database more than it was designed to handle, and the groups thing isn’t really ‘social’ in the way people have come to expect. Maybe have a plain old forum on a subdomain and give it a separate database instead.

    Thumb up 7
    1. jenny

      Every time I look at you I feel so completely dismantled.

      Wow! Thumb up 26
      1. Sondra

        Best comment evvvver.

        Thumb up 1
      2. theboattimes

        All the comment awards!

        Thumb up 0
      3. Marika

        I’m trying to laugh quietly cause it’s late and I laughed so hard I squeaked.

        Thumb up 1
  20. naiiimah

    I have some web experience (do it all day at work, learning each day) and I’m willing to work for free. So if you need help, I am here!

    Thumb up 3
    1. Rachel

      thank you! <3

      Thumb up 0
  21. lia

    hm, maybe this helps
    http://www.autostraddle.com/how-to-cry-at-work-133078/

    found my credit card, ready to throw money at you

    Thumb up 5
  22. leafdarking

    I love you guys and hope you get better soon! I want to give you my money too okay?<3

    Thumb up 2
  23. Dee

    Just take some deep breaths and make the best out of today. There is so much love and support here for this site, this vision, I refuse to believe it won’t triumph over all of the hang ups. In the meantime, I’ll look up all the whiskey kittens and think happy thoughts. Also, kickstart away!
    <3

    Thumb up 2
  24. Olli

    Whiskey kitten stickers.
    I’ll buy anything in sticker form. :P

    Thumb up 7
    1. Emma

      “We are all special snowflakes” stickers!

      Thumb up 5
  25. Brittney

    I just want you to know that I will 100% donate to a kickstarter campaign. Like everyone, I’m flat ass broke but I bet if alot of us broke-asses can afford to donate at least $5.
    Indiegogo/kickstarter!!

    Thumb up 5
    1. theboattimes

      I feel the same way. Get well soon, autostraddle!

      Thumb up 2
  26. tiger gray

    I will donate to your kickstarter. so will lots of other people. don’t cry for too long because <3

    Thumb up 1
  27. Daniela

    It’s okay, Autostraddle, it’s okay! Just you wait until you have a Kickstarter. We’ll donate the shit out of it.

    ‘Cause we love you. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m58d0a3CVH1r6x3joo1_400.gif

    Thumb up 3
    1. Vanessa

      co-signed. “donate the shit out of it.” yes yes yes.

      Thumb up 1
  28. GrrrlRomeo

    I wish I could clone myself to help you out… ugh, I’m working 10 hour days.

    Please tell me you’re on dedicated servers for that price!

    Thumb up 1
  29. dilds.

    Riese, it’s like you’ve given birth to your own baby girl, except she’s like a big giant girl who smokes and says “shit” a lot. You know?

    Now the giant girl has fallen ill, but you don’t need to worry. We can all help heal her.

    Wow! Thumb up 25
    1. dilds.

      i feel I’ve made an error in gendering autostraddle
      i wouldn’t want that done to me

      Thumb up 14
      1. dilds.

        but sexing autostraddle is never wrong
        i’m going to stop now
        commenting is scary

        Wow! Thumb up 21
  30. Ferin

    Sending hugs and love and happy vibes your way. You are all amazing.

    My credit card is at the ready.

    =)

    Thumb up 1
  31. tex

    I guess I’ll have to save that money I was gonna throw at a stripper and instead virtually throw it at y’all instead!

    Thumb up 3
    1. Liv

      I want to do the same but then how will all the strippers in my city pay there rent?

      Thumb up 1
  32. Ava

    The title of this post makes me want to quote Stitch… ahem…

    “This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

    Thumb up 9
    1. pips

      ok now i’m crying thanks a lot

      Thumb up 1
    2. Laneia

      OMG OMG

      omg

      ilu for that.

      Thumb up 1
  33. Danielle

    Riese,

    You matter. What you are doing matter. You. Are. Not. Alone. Thank you for creating. thank you for giving a voice to people who need to hear their own voice. thank you thank you thank you. We are holding you up.. don’t worry
    Danielle

    Thumb up 9
  34. Carmen SanDiego

    I’m imagining a big band-aid across the website…

    Thumb up 4
  35. Magenta

    I will happily donate if it will keep you all going. Love. This. Site!

    Thumb up 2
  36. Vanessa

    sending love & good vibes & money, soon.
    autostraddle is forever. today is just today. <3

    Thumb up 4
  37. antiant

    “Imagine a cardboard house with a lot more cardboard taped to itself. That is this website.”

    Yes, that’s exactly what I did, then I pictured the whole Autostraddle team in a room with furniture like this:

    http://i48.tinypic.com/10y19gh.jpg

    http://i45.tinypic.com/2mx3oee.jpg

    http://i50.tinypic.com/3505wf7.jpg

    http://i45.tinypic.com/2mcj0g.jpg

    I like how Autostraddle still keeps a sense of humor when shit hits the fan, as that is my usual default mode as well. It’s like, “Oh fuck, I’m going down the highway, a rock just put a crack in my windshield, I now have a flat tire and I’m in Getmethehelloutofhereville, with a can of mace and 10% battery life on my cell phone, grrrrrrrrrreat! Maybe aliens will abduct me next and if I’m lucky, I’ll live to tell about it!

    Sidenote: As I was writing this very response, my computer did some weird shit and logged it self out somehow (apparently the alien abduction is already taking place with my computer). *cue X-Files theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAAlDoAtV7Y)

    Anyways, on that note…

    :p

    Thumb up 4
  38. M.

    I got a job, so now my credit card is ready….

    Thumb up 3
  39. Megan

    We love all of you autostraddle! Even the parts of you that are broken and don’t work right, that’s what an Internet family is for :)

    Thumb up 3
  40. Lj

    I don’t mind sharing my blessings to a worthy cause. Feel better (website, and yes, Riese) and keep on rocking our world (to the staff of AS). <3

    Thumb up 2
  41. Theresa

    heal thyself!! I keep coming back to repetitively check for new posts like I do 10+ times a day because I forget that it’s broken. sad face.

    Thumb up 1
  42. shannon

    LOVE YOU

    Thumb up 3
  43. not anonymous

    Snuggles to Autostraddle and your tech team! Bring on Kickstarter. Will be happy to support you (and the whiskey kitten).

    Thumb up 1
  44. Allie

    Knowing I can donate to the kickstarter has given me purpose at work. Much love and fuckery.

    Thumb up 3
  45. Digger

    In an homage to the missing whiskey kitten pic, I’ve gotten my cat drunk. Mostly, I just didn’t want to drink alone.

    Thumb up 8
    1. Cat

      Comment of the day.

      Thumb up 0
  46. Lesley

    Whisky kitten is my facebook cover photo. Whisky kitten is how I feel for the next 23 days. I get broken. You get my hard earned cash for your kickstarter.

    AUTOSTRADDLE 4 LYFE

    Thumb up 1
  47. Dina

    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

    Thumb up 7
    1. Kristen

      Actually, KEEP TALKING AND TAKE MY MONEY!

      Thumb up 1
  48. Courtney

    No no no, Team Autostraddle! :(

    I have been in your exact. same. shoes. with a website that blew up from being a little niche blog/forums/other junk to a mainstream-for-its-crowd place (we have similar traffic numbers on Alexa as far as I can tell.) There are definitely things that have to be done to realign your site for larger traffic–everything from page compression to backend server junk–but this is not what concerns me.

    Paying $900/mo. does. You can do better. I push 2-2.5TB with control over ALL THE THINGS for…$100/mo. 100Mbit line. Bandwidth’s more or less unmetered on a Tier 1 provider mix. I know great places (and the people who work there!) across the country, from the datacenter in the Midwest to the datacenter which uses 25 percent of all electricity in San Francisco (!!!)

    Contact me–I totally want to help you guys out.

    Thumb up 0
  49. jack

    You AS folks know we love you, right? If the site’s even up, we’re grateful. If we know you’re trying to fix things, we’re grateful. Hell, we’re just happy you exist.

    As long as you’re here sometimes for us to come home to, we’ve got one extra reason to smile. You help people from all over not feel quite so alone.

    Hope you had a decent day. We’ll be here for you when you need us.

    Thumb up 2
  50. Laneia

    y’all are all my favorite people! i hope you know that. also we are thinking up some of the most awesome kickstarter perks. YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS JELLY.

    Thumb up 2
    1. antiant

      “YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS JELLY”

      CUZ MY BODY’S TOO BOOTYLICIOUS FOR YA!

      Thumb up 0
  51. Donovanesque

    Aw don’t feel bad. Are we not all somewhat broken? In one way or another? I ask you.

    Thumb up 1
  52. antiant

    Is the “your comment is awaiting moderation” part of the brokenness too? I’m getting that all of sudden. *holds patience by the hand and frolics in the hills somewhere yonder singing, “The Hills are Alive with Music.”*

    Thumb up 0
  53. news feed

    I am just writing to let you be aware of of the perfect experience my friend’s girl obtained viewing yuor web blog. She even learned numerous issues, which include how it is like to possess a very effective coaching spirit to let certain people with no trouble have an understanding of specific multifaceted subject matter. You undoubtedly surpassed readers’ expectations. Thanks for imparting such warm and helpful, trusted, informative and as well as fun guidance on your topic to Evelyn.

    Thumb up 0

Leave a Reply

Site Meter