Have a Feeling: Chocolate Cheddar Cheese

Laneia's Team Pick:

Chocolate Cheddar Cheese.

This cheese is so fucking weird. Honestly I think you'd like it, but only if you listen to me and do exactly as I say. You don't get to have an opinion about this cheese until you've done everything I've told you to do here. You can't even say that you think it sounds gross because of course it sounds gross -- it's Chocolate Cheddar Cheese. The fact that it sounds gross is not news. The fact that you might like it, could be.

You Will Need

red wine
grapes
the cheese
some crusty bread (if only for a palette cleanser because boy howdy, you're gonna need one)

1. Take a drink of the wine. In the same movement that places the glass back on the table, reach for a small super tiny cube of the chocolate cheese and put that cube in your mouth.

2. You're eating the cheese now. It's weird. There's probably not another word to describe it. Odd, maybe. Confusing. Ok there are two other words to describe it. Reach for a grape.

3. As soon as you swallow the cheese, eat the grape.

4. Form an opinion/feeling.

What are you thinking now? I like it. I like it the way I like watching Toddlers and Tiaras -- it feels tacky, but once-removed, somehow. And it's best in small allotments. I can justify it. I don't know, you guys. It works for me.

Autostraddle.com is not affiliated with Trader Joe's, except that a lot of us shop there, and this one girl we know works there and we like her a bunch, but that had nothing to do with this.
Seriously.

34 responses to “Have a Feeling: Chocolate Cheddar Cheese”

Morimori (member)
February 20, 2012 at 11:19 am Permalink Reply Report user

ok, now I’m curious. I’ll have to find me some of this weird stuff. Weird is totally my thing.

0
Stephanie
February 20, 2012 at 11:24 am Permalink Reply

I swear they featured this in Rugrats fifteen years ago.

0
1. Stephanie
  February 20, 2012 at 11:28 am Permalink Reply
  
  “If you like chocolate, with gum under ‘neath, If you like caramel, sticking to your teeth, If you like the dentist, drilling cavities, then you’ll like Choco-Chocolate Cheese!”
  
  I am oddly proud that I managed to find the jingle for it.
  
  0
  1. Laneia (member)
    February 20, 2012 at 11:53 am Permalink Reply
    
    hero
    
    0
Lovely Llama (member)
February 20, 2012 at 11:51 am Permalink Reply Report user

I totally made chocolate covered cheese cubes in middle school for a school project, and they were surprisingly popular.

0
Emily (member)
February 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm Permalink Reply Report user

My mind is telling me no, but my body is telling me YESSSS.

0
Digger (member)
February 20, 2012 at 12:40 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I live down the road from a vinyard that serves platters of cheese, fruit and chocolates at all their wine tastings..They all compliment each other..Have you not had ChocoVine! I’m getting worked up now! I need red wine…And chocolate..and cheese

0
1. Laneia (member)
  February 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm Permalink Reply
  
  yes exactly. i think the reason some people didn’t like the cheese is bc they were eating it on like, ritz crackers with soda, which is stupid and won’t work. it has to be paired w/ wine and fruit in order to taste like anything good, so i was compelled to write this post. my girlfriend also wonders about eating it on a bagel, but i don’t have any bagels, so.
  
  0
  1. Digger (member)
    February 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    Warm it slightly..It becomes a bit spreadable..At which point, your girlfriend should just eat it off of you
    
    0
2. leslie (member)
  February 21, 2012 at 1:54 am Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Okay, but no, that chocolate wine is so bad. It is like yoohoo with vodka in it.
  
  I know because I’ve bought it 3x and drank it all myself each time. I may be a masochist. OR an alcoholic.
  
  0
  1. Digger (member)
    February 21, 2012 at 2:37 am Permalink Reply Report user
    
    I’m not serving it with dinner..But it does have it’s place..Like when your date doesn’t “really drink much” and she’s all like “Ooohh..Yoohoo!” Not that I’d use alcohol as a means to an end
    
    0
Sarah (member)
February 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I have a recipe for balsamic roasted grapes that I think would actually go awesomely with this…

0
1. Laneia (member)
  February 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm Permalink Reply
  
  PROVE IT
  
  <3
  
  0
LezGeek (member)
February 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm Permalink Reply Report user

There is a fantastic goat cheese from Carr Valley in Wisconsin called Cocoa Cardona. It is a semi-soft goat tomme that has been rubbed in cocoa powder and black pepper. Phenomenal. get some

0
thewisecracker (member)
February 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Every single word of this post is making me smile… and super jealous of your girlfriend Thanks Laneia!!

0
Hoda (member)
February 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I’ll definitely try this.

But hey, I baked some .. thing earlier today. It was meant to be like a chocolate chip cake I guess? Anyway, I think I used muffin mix and the cake came out salty as shit.

Is there anything I can do to save this? Or should I just give up, throw it out, and start using my oven as storage?

0
1. chrissie riot (member)
  February 20, 2012 at 9:46 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Like it’s already baked?
  
  Dump a bottle of rum on it and then eat the fuck out of it. Probably you will get tipsy and not even notice the salty.
  
  0
  1. Hoda (member)
    February 20, 2012 at 9:48 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    An entire bottle?
    
    Done.
    
    0
  2. Hoda (member)
    February 21, 2012 at 12:10 am Permalink Reply Report user
    
    tht wsa fkucing awful
    
    0
Chandra (member)
February 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Doesn’t sound gross to me. But then I’ve eaten roasted garlic chocolate chip cookies and thought they were delicious.

Also, you could have your chocolate cheddar cheese on the new fudge-covered Ritz crackers if you were in the mood to exponentialize your gustatory adventures. http://www.thedailymeal.com/so-wrong-limited-edition-fudge-covered-ritz-crackers

0
1. Creatrix Tiara (member)
  February 27, 2012 at 4:54 am Permalink Reply Report user
  
  …I need to have the recipe for those cookies.
  
  0
carrie (member)
February 21, 2012 at 6:48 am Permalink Reply

The salty/sweet flavor profile is so underrated. Also, the TJ Fearless Flyer can convince me to buy just about anything so I’m totally there.

0
Lei (member)
February 21, 2012 at 7:58 am Permalink Reply Report user

Okay, now someone invent this in vegan and I’m game.

0
Shaed (member)
February 21, 2012 at 9:46 am Permalink Reply Report user

How would this be not like chocolate cheesecake?
I don’t know why people would find this flavor combination gross, even sans wine/grapes/bread.

0
1. Laneia (member)
  February 21, 2012 at 9:47 am Permalink Reply
  
  the cheddar is a little too sharp to taste like chocolate cheesecake, but you make a valid point.
  
  0
Steve Snyder
February 21, 2012 at 9:59 am Permalink Reply

I just reviewed this on my website and I thought it was pretty crummy! The combination of milk chocolate and sharp cheddar cheese fight with each other too much and it ends up coming off weird!

http://www.clubtraderjoes.com/2012/02/trader-joes-chocolate-cheddar-cheese.html

0
spindrift (member)
February 21, 2012 at 10:25 am Permalink Reply Report user

i love food too much to play favourites, but when i was younger my two favourite food groups used to be cheese and chocolate. i often mused about putting them together and how weird that would be – not the mild cheese and generic chocolate flavours in a chocolate cheesecake, but something where both had characters. when would they not clash (i guess the goat cheese-cocoa powder combination)? would i ever eat either again? would my friends disown me?

i love how you included eating instructions in a pseudo-gourmet cheese tasting fashion. while i don’t think i would like that cheese (cheddar not really my thing?), maybe one day i will find some outlandishly harmonious chocolate-cheese combination and change my mind about all cheese-chocolate-type situations.

0
1. spindrift (member)
  February 21, 2012 at 10:27 am Permalink Reply Report user
  
  of course, i have heard of weirder cheese situations…
  like human cheese.
  http://grist.org/food/food-2011-01-12-care-for-some-human-cheese/
  
  0
kakapo (member)
February 21, 2012 at 10:31 am Permalink Reply Report user

So many people seem to find this concept gross, or like it’s maaaybe – against all odds – going to be interesting. You know what, Chocolate Cheddar Cheese? You don’t have to prove a damn thing to me. I knew you were beautiful from the moment I saw you.

0
LezGeek (member)
February 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm Permalink Reply Report user

If you are going to pair chocolate with cheese it must be high quality “fine” or “gourmet” chocolate. Something with low sugar and high cacao percentage. Amano Dos Rios pairs excellently with a nice buttery triple creme. Valrhona Caraibe with with an aged gouda like Rembrandt. I spent the last year as a cheese monger and played with a lot of flavor combinations

0
1. Digger (member)
  February 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Normally, I would agree with you..But as I’m currently so effing depressed I’m drinking boxed wine…Like, Right. Out. Of. The. Box!!! NO GLASS!!! And eating cheap, discounted Valentines Day chocolates..I will refrain from chiming in..
  
  0
Suburban Soulgirl (member)
February 21, 2012 at 8:28 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I don’t know how I feel about that combo…lol

0
wallow (member)
February 22, 2012 at 9:19 am Permalink Reply Report user

Wait, can we just talk about Toddlers and Tiaras for a second, honey boo-boo child?

0
Dominique Bortmas
February 22, 2012 at 10:07 am Permalink Reply

I am a cheesemonger at a gourmet cheese shop, and we have a similar cheese but it also includes orange peel and orange liqueur. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=338725946145706&set=a.213649331986702.60016.213634085321560&type=1&ref=nf

0