Listling Without Commentary: Top Ten Things We Thought We Had in 2010

If you search for “I think I have” in your gmail archives/inbox on gmail.com, you will find out what you and your friends/co-workers thought they had in 2010. What did you think you had in 2010? Please share in the comments.

Top Ten/23 Things We Thought We Had in 2010

1. I think I have had an ambien and vodka and no longer trust myself to send this movie — I MEAN EMAIL NOT MOVIE.

2. I think I have a fever. My brain’s a little broken and ranty.

3. I think I HAVE AN IDEA – let’s test out the idea of being not cynical in the recap? Like Obama said?

4. I think I have too many feelings to participate.

5. I think I have taken like four xanax, so even when I speak these words of frustration, I don’t really feel them, which is quite nice, and maybe tomorrow I will wonder why I thought it was ok to @-reply that girl 10 times.

6. I think I have self-destructive insomnia

7. I think I have just come to realize that my brain looks nothing like Whitney’s brain.

8. I think I have a point? I dunno. What I’m saying is: if she wants to do something, I want her to go ahead and effing DO it.

9. I think I might have herpes. Not joking.

10. I think I have enough. If I don’t I will just fix it. I will cry until I have it. Or something.

11. I think I have to draw the line at queer orgies though, I haven’t exactly discussed it with my partner.

12. I think i have this.

13. I think I have to close my eyes and lie down.

14. I think I have to go. I don’t have any money.

15. I think I have [a picture] of me getting out of an industrial sized dryer, which would be really funny and literally hot.

16. I think I have “Darkness” but I don’t want you to worry, I want you to have fun in LA.

17. I think I have taken like 2 mg of xanax that may or may not be from the internet.

18. I think I have to have something monogrammed for you and put it in a gift bag.

19. I think I have to unfollow Tavi on tumblr.

20. I think I have four articles that need to be edited. But I really feel like I need to sit in a dark quiet room for maybe days and not think of anything. I don’t think that’s something I can do, though.

21. I think I have concealer on the leg of my jeans? Something beige. And smudgy.

22. I think I have accidentally unlocked her crazy. I don’t know a way out of this.

23. I think I have questions, but I have to go look at castles now or something, so i’ll email you again later.

Avatar of Riese

Riese is the CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1675 articles for us.

88 Comments

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    “I think I have a fever,” she told a nurse.
    I think I have kakorrhaphiophobia (abnormal fear of failure!).
    I think I have to go bowling for hanukah with young jewish professionals…blerg

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    I think I have a fairly good grasp on reality. I know how to take care of myself.

    I think I have recovered from the worst of my body dysmorphia
    today. Phew.

    I think I have officially written “the good enough paper”.

    I think I have been using “awesome” too often lately.

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    for 2/3 of 2010 i was living in a communal service house, which is obvious by my “i think i have” quotes:

    “i think we have lentils. we should make this [link to recipe].”

    “i think i have around $100 in [food]stamps and can probably do at least one more pcc trip during july + whatever else.”

    “i think i have it, but let me know what you think: [directions]”

    “i think i have a chart that works for everybody. note what chore you are assigned this week, because i switched some chores around.”

    “I think I have them saved somewhere in my email but just in
    case I can’t find them, could you you give me directions to your house again?”

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    “I think I have found my self a very hot gay best friend”

    this was in an email from my straight bff in australia who liked/was kinda dating this guy…who it turns out wasn’t so hetero after all.

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      same. and all the emails with “I think” and “I have” were long, feelings-sodden letters between me and my ex about why our relationship didn’t work. I think I’d rather be gin-sodden than feelings-sodden. I can fix this.

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    “i think i have to go to school today for a lecture. i’m bored. so is my paper.”

    “i think i have had too many feelings today…primarily surrounding wanting to eat.”

    “i think i have an ulcer. this cup of coffee should definitely help. after that, maybe i’ll have a tall, cold glass of vinegar.”

    “i think i have so many misconceptions about sororities”

    “i think i have a party that i have to be less slutty for”

    “i think i have watched the video for the eurovision winning song too many times”

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    I think I have an addiction problem. Like SERIOUSLY. To sleep.
    I think I have the shorts that the girl in the picture’s wearing.
    Actually, I think I have [done calculus in my dreams]… It was sad.
    My bags are so full of books/shoes/waterbottles/clothing that I think I have to bring a third bag just to carry my lunch.
    I think I have an American accent.
    I-I think I have to say Barney.

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    thank goodness i’m not the only one who enjoys a good pill pop.

    and second thought…

    most of my emails are boring work related things or spam like club mailing lists, yoga centers, glbtq/environemntal/political etc groups and my dad sending me Fwds like we’re still using AOL.

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    “I think I have an overgrowth of yeast in my guts…” ~ My BFF, speculating on her insanely long yeast infection problem.

    “I think I have hit the pinnacle of my stress threshold with everything that is going on.” ~ Me, to my ex-MIL (who wasn’t “ex” at the time), in an e-mail title “The sound of my brain exploding”

    “I think I have been in denial about it for a very long time.” ~Me, in an e-mail last week to the aforementioned BFF about my coming-out-to-myself process. Thus, the also aforementioned ex-MIL.

    There are others, but I think that about sums up 2010 for me. It will always be the year I admitted I’m a homogay. Yay!

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    I think I have my first plagiarism case. It feels like an STD which I was hoping to avoid, but in hanging around these 18 and 19 year old writers it is probably inevitable. I hate.

    It is confusing because there are two Middle English long e’s (deriving from Old English) and two Middle English long o’s. I think I have mentioned the latter, but the o’s are for a different time.

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    i think i have enough; it’s Coachella, anything goes. we’ll probs be able to find some there

    i think i have to kill our [sorority] president

    &, no ‘have’, but still pretty good:

    i think my professor knew i was drunk

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    Fun Fact: Sloane Crosley has number 12.

    “I think I have strep or something more serious because it’s pretty bad and won’t go away.”
    “I think we might have a lot in common.”
    “I think I have been fanning interest. Wait, no. Feigning.”
    “I think we have one really famous donut shop but I wouldn’t say Portlanders are crazy about donuts.”
    “I think I should have gotten the award over Taylor Swift. Or Beyonce. Whatever.”
    “I think I have something better to do than talk to you cause it’s saturday and only 11.”
    “I think I have a dozen more really influential ones.”
    “I think we might have just miss read her… are you getting this?”
    “I think I have to go. :(“

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    “I think we should buy a giant piggy bank and start saving so we can go to the 2014 worldcup”

    “I think you’re having sex tonight jajaja it’s more than clear!”

    “I think my best side left, and the worst one is remaining: the useless”

    “I don’t think so, besides we were only “together” for 12 hours”

    “The dog is amazing jajaja I think”

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    I think he just wanted his treats early.

    I think i’m gonna like boston accents.

    Man, I think that blonde bitch may have killed me.

    Well, I think I’d rather be that bra.

    FYI i think the carpet was wet again.

    Honey, I think you can take an old asian man.

    I think you are being monitored by Google.

    OMG! I think the Feature is a gay lady.

    I think that I have a cord in the garage that will plug that clock into the wall until we get more batteries.

    Somehow I think the story of buying a strap-on so I could fuck his daughter wouldn’t help things.

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    There was a whole lot of “I think I have [whatever thing] on my Kindle/iPod” and “I think I have screeners/PR info for [whatever show.]”

    But here’s my best one:

    “I think I have — whoo boy — at least three real friends.”

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    All said by me (except the first one was said to me)
    “I think you have ADD” “I don’t have AIDS!” “ADD!!!”

    “I think I have that crazy where you think things are real but they’re not. I don’t think you’re real.” “…”

    “I think I have an ingrown pube.”

    “I think I have to stop. Like, right now.”

    “I think I have to tell Lisa about that thing.” “What thing?” “The… the thing. Go away.”

    “I think I have to kill you now.”

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    In the venn diagram of my gmail and Riese’s gmail, this is the only one not in both circles:

    “i think i have maybe been waiting my whole life for someone to ask that? yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

    (Hint: It’s in both circles of the venn diagram of my gmail and Rachel K’s gmail.)

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    And the categoties are–Work, Love/Sex, Friends and Parenting

    “I think the patient in 476 is dead–does anyone else see this as a problem?”

    “I think this was The. Best. First. Date. Ever.” and related comment…
    “I think I went deaf when she took off her shirt–
    I definitely did when she took off her bra.”

    “I think you should assume you will not get laid driving that minivan.”

    “I think my 6yo son has just consumed his body weight in Ikea Swedish meatballs.”

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    “I think we’re having oignon soup. I spelled Onion french because it’s French Onion soup….blah blah and bacon lobster. Now I’m not sure if that’s lobster wrapped in bacon or there was some sort of Pig/Lobster mating experiment for culinary purposes.”

    “I think I might die. From withdrawal, from you.”

    “I think we are both doing fantastic.”

    “I think I just might read it and love my life”

    “I think it’s pretty nice that we are just so darn wonderful.”

    “I think the 25 is a programmers anonymous meeting.”

    “I think, I’m really glad I came out.”

    “I think I’m ready to try a night on my own.”

    “I think I love her a lot.”

    “I think maybe I’d like to take our relationship to the next level soon.”

    “I think you are overreacting.”

    “I think I might go clean the bathroom.”

    “I think i am just so tired of those people shitting on camp.”

    I think that I took a large and long walk down memory lane reading all these old emails.

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    fun idea! apparently my emails are deep & meaningful.

    my friend: “i think i have a backlog of issues”

    me “i think i have made it real complicated for myself”

    that last one pretty much sums up the year for me. ha.

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    Oh my god. I found one, in the middle of the most flirtatious chain of emails I ever sent my professor. My entire being is cringing right now. I can feel my appendix blushing.

    i think i have a better chance of understanding you when you type in
    latin than when you type in…. what the hell was that???

    and then it all went to hell. I’m so embarrassed for my 2004 self.

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    I think I have an idea of what Matt Groening is like in real life but Lynda Barry is maybe a bit of an interesting mystery to me.

    I think I have really improved and am sounding okay.

    I think I have previously made my strong preference for windows clear.

    (That last one’s my favorite.)

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    ok, I don’t have any from 2010, but these were from 2007 and they sort of crack me up.

    I think I’d rather just have a master and me be the apprentice and learn that way

    I think I have to give her up

    (followed by)

    Because I’m a sloth with love… the sick twisted love I think I have

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    This self indulgently is all of them except for like 4 where I am describing possible ingredients to my roommate. Apparently I spent most of the year completely sure about everything.

    i think i have shared with you my saga about this bag i really like at Urban Outfitters

    [About a buddy’s new BF] he likes rural things, i think i got some street cred with him from growing up in the country. like seriously.

    [Friend thinking of joining the military] i think you would look super hot in the uniform

    ok i think i’m gonna take a nap

    [Reflecting on my parents] They are generally very happy and positive people, which I think I failed to notice while I was being angsty and horrible to them as an adolescent and young adult.

    [About Pandora] thanks to them I think all music can be deconstructed and classified into different categories and then selected upon any of those characteristics. damn you rational modernity!

    eh, i think i should probably go with you on the bus cause i will probably have a few too many drinks out there anyway

    i think nuts and pancakes [together] are pretty normal

    [Accidently called a friend by her full name, not her nickname] I think I was on autopilot since I had been answering a bunch of student emails and I try to be formal with them. So they’ll take me seriously? I think I lose creditability as soon as I open my mouth and make a dick joke.

    Finally an Autostraddle themed exchange with a friend about the Bisexuality open thread:

    i think have sent you links to it before

    i also think that considering it is still not completely cool to have an alternative sexual identity in a sexual BINARY bisexuals are doing some work within this dichotomy to destabilize gender and attraction sure it’s not ideal, but to say it isn’t useful in a real political sense i think is silly

    my name is “something clever” because I couldn’t think of something clever…now i’m like, shit do people think that I think I’m something clever

    i think i have a caffeine high sorry! :)

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    I think I have to leave the house today.

    I think I have had enough sleep with the 11+ hours so why do I feel so sluggish.

    I think I have sealed over from the extended duration of my celibacy.

    I think I have manifested some negative consequences of not having any physical contact for so long.

    I think I have some interesting things to say. Just not that many.

    I think I have an unhealthy level of craving.

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    I think I have a ghost putting out wet food and cleaning the litter box!

    I think I have a bad combination of laziness and social anxiety.

    I think I have to wait until she’s not scared of me anymore and then I am inviting myself over.

    i think i have food poisoning. i may start vomiting soon. sup?

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    I think I have a high palette.

    I think I have the subway almost figured out.

    I think I have become a bit more grounded, a little less anxious about where it is all going.

    I think I have waited too long to book my flight and now the prices are very high.

    Dude I think I have alcohol poisoning.

    (3/5 = my mom)

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