10 Days of Top 10s: 10 Things That Took Forever & Things You A**holes Didn’t Appreciate

Welcome to “Ten Days of Top Tens,” in which we say goodbye to 2010 by reviewing the year that was. Because we spent this year in front of our computers typing words for you, many of these top tens will be a tad self-indulgent. Resist the urge to recognize it as such.

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It takes an inordinately obscene amount of time to put together an Autostraddle post. Due to perhaps some kind of total insanity, we will spend hours looking for the perfect photo or editing the perfect paragraph or ensuring everybody’s gender presentation feels adequately representative (we rarely succeed, but we’re learning and it’s a goal for 2012). Plus we’ve got our own designer and photographer and shit, so we like to do it up right. We take solace in your appreciation and lash out like total fucking babies when you don’t. These various elements — essentially our desire to constantly keep you entertained with flashing lights and photos and headings and jokes — makes running Autostraddle only possible at the expense of pretty much everything else in our “lives.”

In celebration of how hard we work for our emotional rewards, we are going to remind you, right now, of how hard we work for our emotional rewards.

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Top Ten Posts That Took FOREVER

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1. Feminism Roundtable: “Becoming Queer Feminists” & “Race, Gender, Sexuality and Feminism”

Process Begun: February 8
Post Published: April 30

Total Time: 79 Days

Contributors: Riese, Laneia, Sarah, Taylor, Glennisha, Alex, Rachel, Crystal, JC Gonzalez (guest), Intern Emily, Katrina, Intern Lily, Intern Zahra, Tinkerbell

Roundtables take FOREVER. Firstly, everyone writes at least 3,000 words except for Crystal and Robin. Laneia never gets hers done until the draft is essentially ready for publication and Tinkerbell always forgets until the post has in fact been published (she’s a little slow sometimes). Then I have to edit down everybody’s 3,000 words to 800 words without hurting anyone’s feelings, while simultaneously writing 3,000 words of my own, which I put off until the last possible moment, like after Alex has formatted it and everything.

Basically by the time we published this post, the wage gap had closed, and we all knew why.

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2. Period 101: Toxic Shock Station Stomps Out the Tampon Industrial Complex

Process Begun: August 7
Post Published: October 12

Total Time: 66 days

Contributors: Laneia, Riese, Intern Laura, Dina (Guest)

This post took forever for a lot of reasons. Well, I thought it did. But when searching the chat archives to find out when we first came up with this post, I discovered that the primary barrier to moving forward on the tampon posts was… maybe… me.

August 19, 2010 — “I think the tampon post is ready”

Laneia: OK I think tampon post is ready for a look/see and for vegatron/formatting
Laneia: There is talk of poo.
Laneia: Have I told you this? I feel like you might want to cut it, but also it’s really real talk
Laneia: So I like it.
Riese: K
Laneia: Are you mad at me
Laneia: Do you want me to die
Riese: I want me to die

August 20 — “Then we’ll get the tampon post up”

Laneia: What are your main concerns re: today, as far as publishing goes
Riese: My main concern is that nothing will be published ever
Laneia: Ok “how to get laid” is going up within a matter of hours, yes?
Riese: Yes’m
Laneia: Ok that’s gooooood
Laneia: Then we’ll get the tampon post up
Riese: If I die writing this recap will you tell Ilene Chaiken it’s her fault

August 27 — “I would love to get tampons up”

Laneia: I would love to get tampons up, but i feel like it’s not a priority to others, so i’m willing to wait. i think i should add more to it, and organize the store better
Riese: Could Dina also write up something about pads or whatnot? Just a brief paragraph?
Laneia: yeah we need a graf about pads
Laneia: [redacted] wrote a thing about bleach-free tampons right?
Riese: in the post?
Laneia: brb i have to get some water and when i close this your chats won’t go through. so don’t repeal DADT or whatever
Riese: do you think you could write a paragraph or whatever about the Emily Gould book?

August 30 — “I am working on Tampon City”

Laneia: I am ‘working on’ Tampon City
Laneia: TAMPON TOWN!
Laneia: It’s adjacent to ALTERNATIVE MENSTRUAL SOLUTIONSVILLE
Laneia: Am I pleasing you with my humor
Laneia: I hope you are pleased
Riese: I’m going to kill myself if the redesign doesn’t go up soon

September 26 — “We can also do the tampon post this week”

Riese: I am almost done with this post about ‘lesbian sex’
Laneia: Ok
Riese: …and i don’t feel like writing the excerpt
Laneia: Oh, I can do that
Laneia: We can also do tampon post this week
Laneia: TAMPOOOOONS
Riese: Tampaloons
Riese: I am going to just cut out my blood making device
Riese: What part of the body makes the blood — ovaries?
Riese: I’m going to cut it out with scissors
Riese: I’ll write about it
Riese: It’ll be like a DIY thing almost
Laneia: I think that your entire body makes the blood
Riese: What if i got your name tattooed on my thigh for shock value

October 8 — “Tampons Will Go Up on Sunday?”

Laneia: Will Alex be doing the tampon graphic
Riese: Yeah ask her and she’ll do it
Laneia:What do you think about a factory, like a stylized factory
Riese:: A factory for what?
Laneia: The graphic
Riese: OH OF TAMPONS
Laneia: How do u feel abt this.
Riese: OH MY GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN
Laneia: expand
Riese:: I think that might be a bit jarring for the front page, but would be an excellent in-article photo
Laneia: I have factories for the feature graphic, it will be very ominous
Riese: Where’s Rachel
Laneia: I have no idea, I will email her
Laneia: Tampons will go up on sunday?
Riese: I see things being added to a dropbox folder which seem to suggest a music post of some sort? That pleases me.

I told Laneia today that I officially take responsibility for this delay. This is how that went, on December 30 2010:

Riese:: Do you realize how the tampon post eventually got published?
Laneia: Yes
Riese: I went out of town.
Laneia: Yes, you left me in charge.
Laneia: and i talked about periods and gave advice to people
Laneia: that’s basically all i did
Laneia: it was like my own personal slumber party
Laneia: on the internet

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3. Long-Distance Flying 101: Music, Reading, Eating, Friend-Making, Drinking, Sleeping and Conquering Fears

Process Begun: May 26
Post Published:
June 10

Total Time: 15 days

Authors: Riese (In-Flight Reading), Laneia (In-Flight Magazine Reading and Snacking), Taylor (“My advice is mainly for alcoholics), Natalie (managing your fear of flying), Crystal (in flight music), Alex (In-flight comfort, or “Alex loves naps!)

This took a long time, much like an intercontinental flight.

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4. The Autostraddle Swimsuit Issue for Butches, Bois, Femmes, Dykes, Grrrls and Otherwise-Identified Beachgoers

Process Begun: May 25
Post Published:
June 19

Total Time: 27 days

Authors: Brandy Howard, Bevin from Queer Fat Femme, Fit for a Femme, Becky, Riese & Alex.

I think we got confused and thought we were a magazine. IDK.

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5. Every Single Anything Related to The Real L Word including The Parody Video and those recaps.

I can’t talk about this.

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6. Lesbian Mitrice Richardson’s Body is Found, But Questions Remain

Process Begun: August 13
Post Published: August 23

Total Time Taken: 10 days

Authors: Riese & Sarah, with graphics by Alex

Ten days is not a giant lag time, but we were working on this article more or less nonstop. Basically this is the kind of story where it makes me crazy we don’t have a budget because stories like this are why we “wanted” to be “journalists.” We spent a lot of time listening to police tape, reading stuff, and trying to get in touch with like 5 different people.

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7.  Feminism 101: Read Books, Become a Better Womyn

Process Begun: April 29
Post Published: May 7

Total Time: 8 days

The thing is that it was gonna be a little daily fix we were supposed to finish in ~3 hours.

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8. Midterm Elections Cram Session: Autostraddle’s Gay Guide to Voting on November 2nd

Process Begun: October 10
Post Published: October 30

Total Time: 20 days

Authors: Sarah & Rachel

On October 10, the post was titled “The post about Midterm Elections That We’re 110% Going to Write.”

On October 25, the post was titled “The Post on Midterm Elections That We’re 110% Going to Write [STARTED, JESUS CHRIST, I HATE EVERYTHING] [I LOVE YOU RACHEL] [I LOVE YOU BOTH ALSO] [Rachel is a rock star]] [I WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THIS ALSO] [<-who said that].”

On October 30, the post was titled “Midterm Elections Cram Session: Autostraddle’s Gay Guide to Voting on November 2.”

And then you saw it.

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Top Ten Things You Assholes Didn’t LOVE ENOUGH:

Sometimes we write some really fucking amazing posts, like killer pieces of journalism, and you guys don’t care. You can’t even be bothered to lift a tiny finger from your lazy bloated pie-stained hand to type “nice interview, Jess R.” or “thanks for this” or “what a neat band, Crystal/Jess G., thanks for the spotlight!” or “why the fuck are you always talking shit about Ilene Chaiken?” JK! Y’all are MORE THAN READY to hurl your entire consciousness into talking shit about Ilene Chaiken or, conversely, talking shit about how we talk shit about Ilene Chaiken. But then suddenly we’re like “Oh what’s up, here’s a thing about YOUR EQUAL RIGHTS AS A HUMAN” and you’re like “I wonder what’s on Postsecret.”

It’s not just you with this problem —

Design Director Alexandra: It’s hard for me to pay attention to this DADT survey/chat when “How the Earth Was Made” is on the history channel.
Managing Editor Sarah: Alex, history is being made right here.

So today we are going to give you some advice and helpful hints to what you are looking for.

Also it bears mentioning that we love you all but for some reason thought it would be funny to make a list into like a Comedy Central Roast.

9. August 24: The Cliks and Hunter Valentine Interview Each Other

12 comments

Um, do you guys realize that we got The Cliks and Hunter Valentine to interview each other? I feel like maybe you didn’t, because only 12 of you commented on it? Two Bands, One Interview, everyone’s cute, AND YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO READ ANYTHING. You can sit there and look at your vaginas in the mirror while LISTENING to these good looking people talk to each other and be super funny. You can make hummus at the same time.

Because of this, we turned down Lady Gaga’s request to interview Adam Lambert for Autostraddle. Sorry.

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8. August 2: Televisionary Q&A: How “Real” is “The Real L Word”?, by Riese

12 comments

Okay, most of the time when I interview people, I’m not genuinely interested in their answers to almost any of my questions. It’s just a song and dance. But I was genuinely interested in how reality TV shows are put together — fascinated, even! — and this interview with Carly was ace. Why only 12 comments?

Listen there are two types of people in the world: people who watch shows, and people who watch behind-the-scenes specials and True Hollywood Stories and read magazine/newspaper articles about the shows. Also there are people who do both. I think you know which of those two kinds of people A;ex would sleep with.

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7. May 21: What Would Elena Kagan Do?, by Jessica

8 comments

Even in this photo, Elena Kagan looks really disappointed in you

We have an IN-HOUSE legal expert who takes the time to research and cite like a million things in an effort to help you sound smarter the next time you’re surrounded by other humans, and you didn’t even comment. You didn’t even say thank you. Jessica broke down Elena Kagan’s history, especially as it pertains to you — queer feminist womynny womyn — AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY THANK YOU.

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6. August 11: Definitive Elements of Every Tegan & Sara Music Video by Intern Laura & Intern Emily

25 comments

You might think, “oh, 25 comments, that’s way more than myfeelingsaboutmyexgirlfriend dot blogspot dot com EVER gets!” But when we read this post we said to our bodies/ourselves: 125 COMMENTS COMING UP.

Omg this was so good!! This is the exact kind of thing you read on forums for hours, and when we put it together with images and bolded headlines, you act like it’s something you don’t care about. That’s bitchy. That’s mean. Look how cute Laura and Emily are!

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5. All The Time: So Many Interviews

(not enough comments)

You all have some serious issues with interviews. I have an idea, let’s interview everyone in the world and then you can not comment. For example; Kate Clinton, Top Chef Master Anita Lo and Lesbian Hip-Hop Duo Kin4Life.

But I’d really like to draw your attention to Guinevere Turner, From “Go Fish” to L-Wording: The Autostraddle Interview. When were you born. Yesterday? I’m just asking because it kinda seems like you’re not too concerned about the past or the future of lesbians in film. Do you realize that she confirms Michelle Rodriguez’s lesbian relationship with Kristanna Loken in this interview? Probably not. Because you didn’t fucking read it.

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4. October 12: Trailer for Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office Season Two, by Julie & Brandy

20 comments

Not since Beethoven, Arrested Development or Sinbad has such unbridled genius been so under-appreciated in its own time. Julie and Brandy’s groundbreaking season 2 trailer was written and performed in the spirit of a David Lynch piece and its subtle, masterful comedy can scarcely be absorbed in a single viewing. But was its staggering brilliance appreciated by Autostraddle’s otherwise discerning, intelligent audience? Sadly it would seem not. Go watch it again and remember that not every work of art needs tits in the mouth. Though most do.

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3. March 20: SXSW Captain’s Log #3: Courtney Love and Smokey Robinson Make Dreams Come True, by Stef

6 Comments

Oh six comments? Only six of you were interested in this Courtney Love show? Or only six of you could overcome your fucking jealousy long enough to be happy for someone else for living her dream? I mean, this post had SxSW survival tips, tons of cute photos and REAL FEELINGS. Have we mentioned that Stef is not only the voice of @CLTranslated, but also is THE WORLD’S LEADING COURTNEY LOVE EXPERT? Oh well, guess you’ll have plenty of time to think that over ’til next year

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2. July 2nd: Guerilla Satire: Masked @BPGlobalPR Tells TED Geeks How to Change the World, by Megan

9 comments

Ok so the next time there’s a time-sensitive, satire-laden and super relevant event going down on one of your favorite social networking mediums, we’re just not gonna tell you about it. Next time someone uses social media to spread awareness about A GIANT OIL SPILL wreaking DEATH AND DESTRUCTION across the ENTIRE CONTINENT, you can just skip right over it because Tegan & Sara weren’t there.

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1. September 2: Beverly Hills 90210 Day: Top 7 Characters We’d Like to Fingerbang, by Riese & Laneia

16 comments

When we tell you who we have passionate sexy feelings for people — especially people from our past — we expect reciprocatory soul-baring from YOU. Instead, y’all acted like none of you had EVER wanted to fingerfuck Kelly Taylor and just left us there, looking like horny jerks. THANKS A LOT.

JK WE LOVE YOU

xoxo

Profile photo of Riese

Riese is the 33-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1758 articles for us.

131 Comments

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    I am just going to be honest about something, during the times in my life when I have time to read AS on a regular basis I will actively check comment numbers in articles and will try to comment if I don’t think there are a lot of comments because I feel bad. Which maybe isn’t what you’re going for and is probably super weird but it’s a thing I do. It’s not just you though, I do the same thing with people’s facebook pictures/albums if it seems like people in the poster’s life should be commenting and people aren’t commenting. We can blame my sun sign for this weirdness, that would be the right thing to do.

    I remember having no internet when the Cliks/Hunter Valentine interview went up and reading about its posting on twitter from my phone and being sad that I couldn’t access it at the time. I didn’t have internet from like early-July to late-September which covers a lot of those non-adequately-commented on posts so there’s that.

    This is one of my favourite posts ever, it’s so much fun. I love lists. It’s also 2 in the morning pacific time which is late/early EVERYWHERE even in the pacific timezone and this just went up so you know, you guys should go to bed. I’ve been drinking obviously and so should also go to bed. Everyone should go to bed.

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    Ugh, Riese, you never fail to astound and amaze me every day. Like, this post is just really amazing.

    I also feel sad for Laneia. All she wanted to do FOR MONTHS was talk about tampons. I think it might have been very near the top of her list of “Things My Heart Desires.” I’m really glad she got to talk about tampons. I think it must have made her happy. I also enjoyed that post.

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    At risk of sounding like a d-bag, I’m going to post an honest response to this.

    With no sarcasm, or passive agressiveness intended: I honestly didn’t realize that commenting meant so much to you all. That said, I’ve never had a website or blog, so yeah, I could’ve missed that beat. It never occured to me that commenting would be important; I had assumed you all were satisfied with just getting the story out there. After reading this it’s clear how much commenting DOES matter to you all, and I’ll try to keep that in mind.

    Truthfully I usually reserve my posts FOR when I feel like I have something constructive to say, or if I think I might have a funny anecdote to share relating to the article. That said, this rarely happens. There have been tons of AS articles that I’ve loved (I’ve read at least 97% of AS’ articles over the past year), but didn’t feel like I had anything of value to add to the conversation.

    If anything, this article has shown me that comments like: “nice interview” or “this was really well written” are indeed of value. I really love this website and it bothers me to think that anyone on the AS team was feeling under-appreciated. So look forward to more vocalized appreciation from moi in the future.

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      I second this entire comment. I always feel like I’m being unhelpful/annoying if I just comment with a compliment, but I see that this is not in fact the case. Autostraddle is one of the highlights of every day for me, and I’d hate for you guys not to feel loved, because I love you all.

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      For me (and others?_) I think, in addition to general reticence, Gawker/Jezebel has trained me to never comment unless I’m “adding” to the discussion, and made me self-conscious/inferiority-complexy about putting comments on posts that are not punny or verrry on-topic or specifically about white/male/straight/rich/etc privilege. Seriously.

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    Actually, I didn’t even read most of the low comment rate posts. I guess my interest in American/Canadian affairs/culture has a limit after all.

    I’m really impressed by the work you guys put into this, though. Thank you. You have done some truly incredible pieces and stories that I’d never find anywhere else. You make such a big difference. Thank you.

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    aw you guys, we just felt like yelling about stuff because we somehow think anger is funny? it’s ok nobody has to comment although you know also you could IT WOULD BE NICE. no really. apparently we haven’t grown up much since livejournal.

    actually only one-third of blog readers will ever, during the course of their entire little lives on this planet, comment. EVER. i repeat this statistic to the writers when they whine about how they’re obviously a terrible writer/idea-haver and i have to give them like a giant self-esteem boost when i’d rather just have them write an article.

    that being said we genuinely wanted to spend all of september 2, 2010 talking about the Ladies of 90210 and instead just had to keep talking to each other about it.

  6. Thumb up 2

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    hey riese

    this doesn’t fit in your formspring –
    came out to my parents over this break, thank you autostraddle/you for the backbone.

    anyway i would comment on all the things but instead i’m going to give you fifty the dollars and my undying gratitude, please continue to produce stuff exactly like this, especially if it involves muppets

    i will probably comment on all the things too, but you know, okay.

    thank you, y’all are wonderful.

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      Seconded. Autostraddle is fantastic and y’all are awesome, but commenting can be pretty scary, sometimes. Most of the people who comment have sparkling wit and it seems like everyone knows everyone, so I spend a lot of time thinking “Oh god, my writing style isn’t close enough to the AS writers and regular commenters, and my sense of humor is dumb. Like my shoes” and then just not saying anything.

      So, even if we don’t always comment, Autostraddle makes a hell of a lot of hearts sparkle.

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        yeah ditto. i love y’all. (i never say “y’all” but it seems pretty trendy in the comments thus far so why not). also, thanks for slapping me in the face with this post and reminding me paypal sucks and wouldn’t let me donate before. several tries later and there we go! you are all so amazing and wonderful and i don’t think i’ve read a post in which i didn’t think the author was a witty/great writer/idea-haver. each and every person of the AS team seems truly remarkable and intelligent (and also extremely badass and 4 thousand other positive adjectives) and should never feel down on themselves or their writing! that said, i will also try to show more appreciation in the future. thank you so much, love you all, and happy 2011 (holy shit)!

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        Also agreed.

        I feel weird commenting in places where I don’t know everyone. So that’s all the time. I don’t know; don’t ask me. I’ll try to remember that lurking is not good.

        Thank you, Autostraddle. Thank you for burning hours of time when I didn’t feel like doing my homework, for informing me, and for being hilarious. You are all so so so great.

        Now I feel odd. Too much sincerity?

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    I don’t ever have a fixed name or whatev on autostraddle but when i’m here i always write ‘I enjoyed this’ or similar, to thank the writer.
    I know that the ‘Did you see that comment award’ is designed to encourage comments, but i find it makes me feel pressured to be cute/hilarious/quote mean girls hilariously, and actually kinda has the opposite effect!
    Still I’m sad you guys feel underappreciated. I definately remember reading and enjoying several of these articles.

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        yeah i didn’t want to ever do comment awards because i feel like it makes shit get cliquey/personality cultish and makes people feel pressured. but so many people asked us to, so we do and i think it serves a purpose for some of the people who enjoy exercising their wit etc, but they’re not the only kind of commenter in the world that we appreciate. basically i think of it as a niche post for the people who do care and i think it’s super fun for people and many have a very good time with it but um (iactuallydontusuallyreadthemeither – but i do read emily’s intro because i like the intros!). just pretend like they aren’t there. that’s what i do on jezebel la la.

        we love everyone. i’m sorry it wasn’t clear enough that we’re being sort of over the top in this post, we’re not legitimately angry

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          We love OTT and we love behind-the-scenes. What about a weekly BTS column where you get to vent and share email tirades of the week etc with us…?

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          seconding the request for weekly behind the scenes. It sounds completely and utterly fantastic. I am so in love with you all, and then posts like this make me feel like I really KNOW you. and except for how it makes me feel vaguely stalkerish and creepy, it’s awesome.

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          I used to comment a lot. I wasn’t like, a prolific commenter. Definitely not “comment on all of the things”, but I stopped because it stopped being fun. I don’t know if my humor misses the mark but I think part of the fun of commenting is forming a community with the people around you, and for whatever reason mine isn’t here.

          I don’t take it personally, really. But what riese said about it being cliquey is definitely true. When I read the comments its pretty clear who the cool kids are around here. Just an observation.

          Also, I definitely contributed to the bread post and no one gives a fuck about cinnamon bread. Lesson learned.

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          I usually just lurk and stuff, but I recognize your name and I just want to say that I like your comments and that you always come across as smart.

          Also, the days that I have cinnamon bread are some of the best days of my life. I feel like a lot of people can attest to this.

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          You are awesome for saying this. I am actually pretty new to this site but I totally know what you mean about trying to become part of the group of the “cool commenters” in a blog community.

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    I love you guys, love your work, and appreciate it a great deal. :-) I live in the bible belt and AS is in many ways as close to a community of like minded women as I’m likely to find absent my partner and I moving someplace a lot more queer-friendly.

    however, my fingers are neither “bloated” nor “pie stained” (that description had me laughing out loud, as did a blip of a post yesterday which appeared in my google reader – I assume it was a fake post – should have taken a screen shot).

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    sometimes i don’t comment if i feel i have nothing to add. like i SUCK at small talk in real life, and i’m sometimes extremely socially awkward. and i really like everyone here, and i want to charm them with my brilliance while still being honest so if i have nothing to add, then i’ll politely sip my punch and appreciate the thing in silence. but seriously, i love you guys SOOO MUCCH. this may just be an interweb site, but its made me want to be a better person.

    also, theres a sad bear on my page, and its making me feel DOUBLE GUILTY.

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      While I am not extremely socially awkward (just the right amount?), I too will refrain unless I have something which I think can charm you interesting people. That or if I lose battle against my driving compulsion to make bad puns. It’s a serious problem I have even IRL. Also, my ridiculously poorly planned username has me worried I must live up to its promise. Expect more banal, unclever, but appreciative comments from me in the future.

      I read every word you people put up. EVERY WORD. Like, I could probably proofread your posts for typos every word.

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        I seem to be just the right amount of socially awk too, IRL it morphs into some kind of lez charm sophistication, via internet it’s harder to carry. I even emailed Riese :

        “I feel like the pudgy little third grade boy (girl!) jumping around a group of fifth graders trying (& failing) to find his way into the group. They’re probably poking at a slug but you know I WANT TO POKE AT A SLUG WITH THE AUTOGAYS ..or well, YOU KNOW.”

        I read & rep AS I guess with some invisibility. (I quoted from that article about how lesbians make 6% more than the heteros last night in conversation, IN FACT.)

        Many kudos on the posts AS team, love all of them.

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    I remember a while back when there was a seemingly off-the-cuff post about cookies which got hundreds of responses, while the same day there was another post about something Very Politically Important which got virtually none, and I thought that it was a condemnation of the things people tend to comment on. I am totally complicit in this because I can’t even remember what the important other story was, but damn that was a good cookie post.

    There is a specific problem with interviews; I think it’s that they’re kind of a closed circuit, without a real hook for you to say more than that you like the band/the interview or whatever. But there will always be people, such as myself, that will never be part of the like brigade. If a comment doesn’t feature multiple eighteen-syllable words, half-baked analogies, weak innuendo and mis-quotes of French literature, is it really worth making?

    Ultimately, any failure to achieve comments is a failure on Autostraddle’s part, by insisting on posting non-trivial, factually-accurate, typo-free quality articles.

    As Flaubert said: “You can calculate the worth of a man by the number of his enemies, and the importance of a blog post by the number of shitty comments people make criticising the grammar.”

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    Dear Autostraddle,

    Thank you for making my year better informed and entertained. And then reminding me about it with this epic post. I will now comment more, and go read all of the articles I under-appreciated the first time.

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    Aw. For whatever it’s worth, I read pretty nearly everything published on the site, including almost all of these “underapprciated/undercommented” posts. I check Autostraddle for new content a couple times a day, every day. I’d even donate if my current financial situation weren’t absurdly terrible.

    But I almost never comment because I’m a straight guy and I guess I feel like this is a context where me shushing is mostly the way to go, no matter how many feelings I may have about Sam the Hot Cop vs Frankie, or Kiyomi McCloskey’s face.

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      Yes, I read everything too! Like, even the posts about video games, which I at best vaguely understand only because one of my exes is a gamer. AS is the site I go to when I mindlessly open a tab and go to a site, so I probably check it 15+ times a day.

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        Well, replace “cool” maybe with “trying to live in the least-annoying-to-other-people-fashion”, in a life where I keep liking the Jo’s of the world more than the Blairs (to go all Facts of Life Old School).

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      Another straight guy here… I know what you mean. I read everything on AS but there’s only so much I feel I can really comment on. Like what could I possibly add to the discussions on the NSFW Sunday posts? As a general statement though, you should feel comfortable commenting on anything here. You might be pleasantly surprised with the responses.

      And this isn’t meant to be directed at you specifically but the community here at large: If you can any way manage it, please donate to Autostraddle. I had never donated to anything in my life before and now I donate as much as I can, whenever I can. It doesn’t take much either. I mean, if a straight guy from the south like me can donate, so can you.

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    The chats between Riese and Laneia re: the tampon post made my day and my hangover better.

    For real though, sometimes I don’t comment because everyone here is intimidatingly cute and/or funny and you know what I am just not funny at all. I almost never say funny things. It is a real problem in my life. I always worry that people won’t like me if I’m not funny UNFUNNY PEOPLE DESERVE LOVE TOO.

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      I spent a good solid month or two lurking, being intimidated by the smart, hilarious things people say here. I kind of learned how to be funny on the internet from reading the posts/comments since my being funny in real life usually involves unintentionality and/or stream of consciousness self deprecating rambling often in funny/British accents. As you might imagine, this is difficult to replicate on the internet.

      My point is two-fold: 1. You make underestimate the effort that people being funny here are putting into it. So don’t feel bad that you have a life. 2. We do love and need you. Who else will be the audience/subject of our madcap puppet show?

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    I love behind-the-scenes stuff and documentaries! (I was the first to post on “8. August 2: Televisionary Q&A: How “Real” is “The Real L Word”?, by Riese”) so needless to say I’m really enjoying these behind-the-scenes AS/Wordpress/chat logs posts.

    P.S. I am an internet “lurker” who rarely posts but I read/skim… Don’t worry about the number of posts for the various reasons mentioned by other commenters. I recommend a “like” button, like the heart on Tumblr, so you don’t need 100 comments that say “great!”.
    Easier, faster “like” >>> typing name, e-mail, “great”…

    P.S.2. I put AS at the top of my Google Reader lesbian list! You guys beat Afterellen down a notch on my list! Did you want to know that?

    P.S.3. Autostraddle >>> Afterellen and the others…

    P.S.P. I’m surprised you didn’t advertise period tumblr, Laneia! :p
    http://periodtumblr.tumblr.com/

    (hehe, gaming pun)

    Happy new year and thanks Autostraddle team! \o/

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    You guys, thanks so much for all the writing you do. This site introduced me to feminism, and I’m pretty sure you’re at least partially responsible for me realizing I’m a girl. So again, thank you all!

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    So I really try to comment on everything I read here, which lately has been pretty much everything because yay winter break! but if I’m honest, most of the time those attempts fall short and now I realize how stupid that is because really, how hard is it to just leave a few words expressing my undying affection for all you editors out there in the autostraddle interwebz land? Especially since you lovely readers are pretty much the only people I’m out to, so really I owe you more than my OCD clicking of the facebook bookmark at the top of my page that usually distracts me from commenting.

    That being said, these top ten lists are hilarious, I want more and I promise to comment!

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    Oh dear. There are many articles on here that I haven’t even seen. THANK YOUUUUU :D…..and sawry.

    The ~love~ and hard work that goes into everything you make is well-appreciated. I understand your sentiments. Seriously.

    BUT I LOVE AUTOSTRADDLE. AND I LOVE COOKIES. THEREFORE, AUTOSTRADDLE=COOKIES. SO WE ALL WIN.

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    I have a friend who tries to make weird small talk to me if we’re in th car/on th bus/watching telly if ther is a break in conversation and like a I always tel her, if we are good enough friends you shouldn’t need to fill th “awkward silence”. So il apply the same here, we all love AS, agreed? Agreed. but often we don’t have the energy/time/smarts that day to comment on ALL th posts, we will read them, and they are great, the team are excellent and AS in general we all love you.

    Now stop being such a girl and reach me th remote!

    P.s. You guys have genuinly helped me understand what it is to be a good queer, educated me and comforted me when iv had a shitty day… Happy new year and keep up th good work! Tisses xxx

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    Pssst. Guys, if you’re that great, you shouldn’t have to be told to know that you are…
    Even though you totally are. Just giving some self esteem advice. Neediness is not becoming! How would I know? Totally not the needy one in a relationship. Totally not.
    And I never comment because what could I possibly contribute that would make what you said any better?
    But thanks for all your hard work. You’re about the only site that I actually want to read that updates four or five times a day. So why study for my anatomy exam when I can just keep hitting the refresh button?
    And I appreciate the political articles and the things about DADT too. Most of the time I have to go hunting for those kind of things. Your site is the best of both worlds…actual content, plus a lot of stuff that’s just for fun. Thanks.

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    sometimes, i spend like +/- two hours just figuring out the right comment, and i end up not commenting. and whenever i go back to read the older posts, i don’t comment because it seems to be no longer relevant.

    what i end up doing is gather my feelings about the article and project them to you [it's like giving birth with the amount of energy i use].

    i do like this article.

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    I don’t comment often, but your articles do mean A LOT to me. :) I should’ve let you know. Now you know.

    Thank you very much Autostraddle!!! *hugs*

    [P.S. I fcking accidentally clicked the 'Reset' button at the end of the comment box.]

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    that tampon exchange was really great.

    and in the new year I resolve to worry less about whether the comment I’m thinking of posting is actually constructive and if I feel like saying “I like this” to just say “I like this” ;)

    though confession: some of the long, politically important (or not) posts that would really enrich my life if I read them intimidate me because they are too long for me to read in the .5 seconds of free time I have each day during the semester so I inevitably end up instapapering them and they stay there forever. But hey, you guys taught me that. Instapaper. Check that out. Also 2011 is the year I am graduating (scary) so maybe that will help with that issue.

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    If I was Oprah avatar right now I would reward Autostraddle with a free trip to DI-NAH SHAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!! (Autostraddle audience goes wild, starts pulling each other’s hair, random kiddie pools filled with jello show up, there’s a Porita book signing happening in the corner, five different pairs of Converse shoes under your chairs, and free coffee for life gift cards (kind of like those celebrity free Carvel for life cards).

    I have no problem being a (classy) comment whore in the coming year. And by classy I mean, I won’t take my bra off until AFTER I’ve hit the submit button.

    We love the work you do! We just sometimes forget to place the smiley face sticky note on the mirror before we leave. BIG SMILEY FACE FOR YOU TEAM AUTOSTRADDLE!

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    Okay, so I’m really sorry. I love all of you sooo much. Like the most, for real.

    AS is this girl I really, really like. I want her to know I like her because how else are we ever going to fuck? But I don’t want her to think I’m desperate or anything. Sometimes I’ll comment SO MANY TIMES and all I can think is that nothing I said was funny or insightful and foxy AS is sitting over there sipping tea in the cutest way possible thinking about how wasteunit is just taking up all of the internet space. And is stupid. And is unfunny. And has the worst hair. Oh my god you have no idea how much I want you to think I have the best hair. Even though it’s totally just okay, y’know?

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    (Still laughing @ “comment anxiety”) Autostraddle rocks. One of the things I look forward to every day. And oh my good lord in heaven, that tampon picture was a head spinner. I closed that shit down pretty fast.

    I think you lovely ladies do a fantabulous job, and while I’m not the most frequentest (that’s a word, you know it is) commenter, in my head I say ALL THE RIGHT THINGS! So just know that.

    You rock. We all know you rock. And you know we know!

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    you guise! you fuck*ng scared me. i was pretty sleepy when i read this so i just close my laptop and went back to bed. of course i dream about AS ending because people didn’t leave comments. omg an AS-less world it’s not fun. i’m hoping this counts, i need to go back to bed cause i’ve not feeling well and I need/want to get pretty drunk tonite :):)

    happy new year everyone!

    sandy

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    Well now I feel bad. I’m one of those who doesn’t feel that they have anything clever to say. But now I realize I don’t have to be funny because a simple thank you would suffice. I hope the whole team accepts my sincere apology. I honestly do appreciate y’all so much and I’ve read every single post since October 2009 when I found this little piece of heaven. I visit AS about 20 times a day. So much so that I think my family is planning an intervention. Anywho, thank you for all the hard work you do. You are very much appreciated!

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    I love you guys!! I’m also bad at commenting because most of the time I don’t feel like I have anything awesome to contribute, but there def should be more of this…. Thank you for writing and donating all of your time and energy and love to do this very important job!!!! :)

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    You know why I didn’t comment on the swimsuit post? Well first I hadn’t found this website yet, but second: There is no help for fat, large breasted butchies. What the hell is a butch with triple Ds supposed to wear at the beach, huh?

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    I hear you saying we missed the mark in some of our not-commenting.

    I also hear you saying that sometimes you just need a little validation for all the impressive, kickass work you do, and that you know you’re the shit, but you need to hear it more.

    You’re even sexy when you’re mad at us, Autostraddle. I really want to please all of you… So I will say that if my laugh-out-loudness could have translated into comments- on all or any of your posts this year, you’d be sick of me.

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    Using my first comment to say, re the Miss April issue, I got the calendar. It is perfect. I love every page. But in my house, it is April all year round. Possibly next year too.

    P.S. I love you all.

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    I know that this was meant to be funny and awesome (and i’ve read every comment on this post just to be sure that you still love us) but it still made me feel ashamed of myself. I read about 97-100% of the posts on this amazing website and i’m sorry I don’t always comment. I feel kind of like wasteunit hit the nail on the head here. I want you guys to know I love you so so so so so much but I also want you to know that a very cool, calm, and collected (hard to get) girl loves you. In its own way, it’s made to make you feel even more special. Am I even making sense here or just talking in circles/making myself seem not cool, calm, and collected but seem like an ass? I don’t even know.

    Bottom line: I love you guys. I really do. The power of Autostraddle and Tegan and Sara combined was what helped me to realize the being myself is totally hot/fun/awesome/insert another adjective here. For that I give you my heart, I really do. Please keep making life-changing stories. Thank you! :] <3

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    ohai AS Team. If you haven’t already figured it out from the comments I’ve posted in the ~10 months since we’ve met, I kinda think you’re all sexy/adorbs/fuckable. one might say i even have an internet-crush on you, and sometimes i restrain from commenting more bc i’m afraid i’ll seem creepy. which i’m not.

    still love me? :)

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    i like being reprimanded by smart women. thank you. for real. i’m grinning.

    i’m like a nerd ninja ghost shut in when i troll autostraddle sometimes.
    i read everything.
    but dont comment as often because i totally nerd out and second guess myself in the following ways:

    1) maaan they’re gonna know i’m hiiieeee…delete.
    2) that is not a complete sentence. delete.
    3) that will only be funny to you. back space.
    and
    4) your pic makes u look like a slap happy drunk and you dont know how to change it and your too proud to ask someone at AS how to change it…oh fuck it back to Facebook.

    yup.
    haha for real.

    i will leave more love. i promise.

    feel free to reprimand away :)

    oh and sometimes i have NO IDEA who the people you interview are until i read your article or youtube their band.
    i was like “who are the cliks…? hunter who…? hmm…this must be some new lesbian sh*t that i’m not up on…”

    im just saying hehe

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    I’ve never commented on anything before because I was always a little nervous about how funny/amazing/perfect every girl on here is but i thought now was the time to tell you a few things:
    1) i’m in vacation in mexico and am using my very expensive wi-fi because going 6 days without autostraddle is REALLY hard. like seirously <3
    2) i just laughed embarassingly loud in the hotel lobby while reading this
    3) i wrote an email to Cosmo bitching them out about ignoring "fun fearless female" gay ladies and mentioned that they should talk to all the creators of autostraddle so they could actually be the magazine they claim to be about female empowerment/sexual freedom
    4) They emailed me back, but I can't open it yet cause i'm away

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    I was one of the 12 who appreciated the Hunter Valentine/Cliks interview. At the time I said it was the best thing I’d heard until I heard HV were gonna tour the UK. Turns out they never reached here, they got as far as Germany then went home. So that interview you posted remains numero uno.

    I may not get around to reading all the posts, but it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate or love you any less.
    P.s, Sites looking rather sexy!

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    Ok, maybe I don’t comment on here enough about how much you guys rock and how hard and how much I look forward to new content and how impressed I am with you and how it makes me less anxious to know you exist and how I wish I had this in my 20s and how I know I totally would laugh all night if I hung out with any of you due to your funny, intelligent insights, but I give you money when I have extra so there is that.

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    Reading this makes me sad that I don’t always have the time/wits to comment here all the time. Autostraddle is honestly the best site I’ve ever read on the internet, and the ONLY one that ever makes me feel consistently happy/positive (also, that makes me consistently laugh and laugh and laugh for hours).

    I’d like to mention that I really love the comment awards, because I always find them a riot, and it’s a great way for me to catch up on things I missed during the week.

    Really, I just love everything you guys do!

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