This Lindsay Lohan Show Extended Trailer That We Have to Talk About

Were you here for the Lindsay Lohan moratorium in 2010? It was an embattled span of several months that we were dragged through before being dropped off at the only viable logical self-preserving conclusion, which was never talking about LiLo again (unless she did something expressly queer or otherwise tempting).  And I don’t have to tell you what it’s been like since 2010 — you clicked this link, you already know.

IT’S BEEN AWFUL.

Now we’ve been gifted with this docuseries, Lindsay, on Oprah’s OWN Network. More specifically, we’ve been gifted with this extended trailer teaser situation. Are you ready? Oh god it doesn’t even matter just watch it.

I tried to choose the most important soundbite and just couldn’t. Here are three snippets worth soaking yourself in for a minute.

There’s nothing left in having a drink for me. What’s left in that feeling? Nothing. There’s no party that I haven’t gone to, there’s no person that I haven’t hung out with. There’s no situation that I haven’t, you know, been exposed to.

Lindsay: Now you’re getting me angry, because you weren’t good for me for a long time in my life.
Michael Lohan: Well if that’s what you believe, that’s fine, honey.

It’s goodgood good good good — and then there’s that thing in my head where it’s like, “Ohp, time to sabotage.”

So many conflicting emotions. Because I can’t process anything alone, I asked the daily team for their thoughts. It was a mixed bag.

Hansen: LiLo gets OPRAH as a life coach. I honestly have high hopes for Lindsay. It’s easier to watch someone get it together than ruin their life, that’s for sure.

Carmen: I just feel like it seemed like that trailer was about Lindsay Lohan taking back her life because she has the power and direction and desire to do it, and then it became about her being given a stern talking to [by Oprah]?

Stef: I used to make an internet LIVING making fun of Lindsay Lohan and now I can’t even, I hope there is lots of Dina on this show!

Riese: Wow that show looks intense. I thought it was going to be a train wreck but it’s actually gonna be like a train, but a romantic train ride in a movie where people cry sometimes. l feel like it will be good — I feel anticipatory and nervous about it and will watch the fuck out of it.

I, too, will be watching the fuck out of this show. And I don’t know how to tell you that I genuinely deeply care about Lindsay Lohan? Because I don’t think I’ve come to terms with it myself — how weirdly and irrationally invested I was / am in Lindsay Lohan’s personal success. Like I didn’t realize Mean Girls meant so much to me. So I’m really hoping with my whole heart that she is better and finds happiness and never dyes her hair again! But on the other hand, I feel scared about this being a reality show — ESPECIALLY a recovery-based one, you know? It seems exploitative and humiliating and like maybe The Worst Idea, and yet I will still watch the fuck out of it. Because I am THAT invested and hopeful. I’m trusting you with so much of my truth right now.

The series premiere of Lindsay airs Sunday, March 9, at 10/9c on OWN. Maybe we’ll have an open thread (because why not really) and then Chelsea — of American Horror Story recapping fame — will be bringing you a recap soon after. 

Thank you for being here with me during this time of ultimate need and conflict. Let’s process. Unrelated: what do you think is LiLo’s most underrated film? I’m gonna say Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, because singing and dancing and DREAMS.

Avatar of Laneia Nicole

Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and she thinks you're fucking rad. She's 33, has two kids, two dogs, one Megan, some personal essays and a lot of emails in her inbox.

Laneia Nicole has written 337 articles for us.

36 Comments

  1. Thumb up 17

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    Upon watching the trailer again, I noticed that there’s just grown men sitting in the background of almost every shot, like she’s constantly being watched by grown men in suits and I feel really uncomfortable about that.

  2. Thumb up 3

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    So glad I wasn’t alone in my general mixed feelings, but ultimately will be watching this with hope for Lindsay state of mind. An open thread, come Sunday, would be awesome.

    Also, there should definitely be like a top 5 underrated LiLo films (maybe a pre and post-Mean Girls list?) One of my favorites comes from the Disney Channel Original Movie Archives, “Get a Clue.” All I remember about this movie is how it fueled my love for shopping at Limited Too (I know it’s not Limited Too anymore–is Limited Too going to eventually age me? Is it my Blockbusters?) AND it also stars Bug Hall aka Alfalfa. So, definitely an underrated classic, in my book.

  3. Thumb up 3

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    I have a lot of feelings about this. Too many to process currently. But I will say that I have hope for ol’ LiLo. I mean, given what she said in the first soundbite and the fact that Oprah told her to cut the bullshit, I feel like maybe she’s finally ready to get back on the horse for real this time.

  4. Thumb up 8

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    I’ve always kinda felt for LiLo partially because we’re the same age. While I’m glad LiLo has people who want to help her get back on track, the premise of this docu-series seems a bit exploitive.

    I hope LiLo can eventually find some inner peace and happiness.

  5. Thumb up 3

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    Um, cringing, big time. Making a reality show out of someone’s tentative recovery? To me this is exploiting the vulnerable, but, perhaps it is Lindsay and her family’s idea. Who knows, no doubt it will be revealed, the ultimate motivation for this episode in her life becoming publicity fodder.
    Why would you put yourself through this publicly? Recovery without the publicity would be a sane choice to make.
    Anyone with any self-respect will be recovering out of the public eye, privately, where – Lindsay can learn to find herself and get strong. I wish her all the best, and hope that she can gather as much support and people around her who will challenge her bullshit and self sabotage and hold her when she needs it. To be invested in this show in a positive outcome makes me laugh, because what if she “fucks up”? and then all your investment is wasted, but it is your choice, however you invest. Me, I will be cheering her on, but not watching this show. I am not invested in her achieving any outcome. She is ultimately living her life and she will do what she wants to do, and I wish the best for her.

  6. Thumb up 1

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    First of all, I’m 100% with Carmen on the trailer. Secondly, I don’t have cable/television, so I rarely learn about new movies and shows coming out. Thank you for informing me of this BEFORE I see it gif’d all over tumblr. Haha.

  7. Thumb up 8

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    i don’t remember if it was a link or an article by riese written about britney spears’ conservatorship that left me feeling all kinds of sad about britney’s life. i sorta feel the same way about lindsey. like people are around them pushing for them to get better not because they need to but because they are stopping the gravy train. They have to be concerned about their “brand” and not their mental,physical health.

  8. Thumb up 3

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    So I don’t know if anyone’s see the video/gifs of Oprah crying while giving a stern talking to to LiLo but I just keep watching it b/c it’s about as beautiful as that time Tyra went off on Tiffany.
    Also, I’m really excited about Lifesize 2.

  9. Thumb up 2

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    Excuse me. How have we gotten this far without talking about the Parent Trap?? I am rooting for LiLo, mostly because I had such a monumental crush on Hallie between ages 7 and 12 and spent a great deal of time trying to memorize the secret handshake dance that Annie and Martin did. Maybe Lindsay and Oprah can do it together.

  10. Thumb up 3

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    I don’t know if I’ll be watching this. I might just cheer silently for her from the sidelines, but like others have said, I’m not sure I want to be that invested in it all. Also I loved the one line you picked out “It’s goodgood good good good — and then there’s that thing in my head where it’s like, ‘Ohp, time to sabotage.’” I can unfortunately really identify with that. And my favorite Lindsay movie is the Parent Trap. As a young trans girl, I so wanted to be her having those adventures with my identical bestie, and watching it I could experience vicariously at least the life that I was too scared to let the world know I wanted to live.

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      YES Georgia Rule was a fantastic movie. My memory of the time is cloudy but I think that during the filming of this movie was when Lindsay really started going off the rails and that drama kinda overshadowed the movie itself. Which sucks because as I said, it’s a really great film.

  11. Thumb up 1

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    LIFE SIZE is the most tremendous Disney Channel movie to ever happen. It features:

    - Tyra Banks as a Barbie come to life
    - Child voodoo practitioners trying to revive their dead moms
    - A grown man fucking a Barbie doll
    - Tyra Banks typing on a computer and then a reverse shot of her typing WHICH IS JUST NONSENSE BC SHE CAN’T READ/SPELL/DO ANYTHING BC SHE’S A FUCKING DOLL!

    Also, I’m pretty psyched to recap this show…#TeamLiLo4life

  12. Thumb up 1

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    Basically the only way this show can end is Lindsay getting her life in a direction that she wants to take it (the direction that Oprah wants), because when Oprah tells you to get your shit together you get your shit together.

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    “how weirdly and irrationally invested I was / am in Lindsay Lohan’s personal success. Like I didn’t realize Mean Girls meant so much to me.”

    Yes, all of this.

    Also I accidentally watched this weird horror movie one night and she was in it and it made me not want to go to sleep at night but also reminded me that she can legit act and is awesome.

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