Things to Look at When You’re ‘Not Sober’ or Even When You Are, Whichever

on December 19, 2010

Discussion Between Two Autostraddle Editors:

girl 1: you have to hear 'i am the lion'
girl 2: what am i searching for?
i did this on youtube.
girl 1: no, google
girl 2: ok
[listening to song]
wait this is ridiculous
girl 1: i know
girl 2: no wait i'm high this is freaking me out.
wtf is this???
girl 1: ok turn it off!
girl 2: no it's getting funnier

Listen to Neil Diamond's I am the Lion, which someone has been kind enough to set to cartoons for you.

Watch this video. It is so cute. Do you think it is cute?

Play a song (I tried You're Coming Home by Erin Lang because that's what was on Pandora when I found this photo) and stare at this cat.

Watch the first part (and then the other parts) of Alejandro Jodorowsky's Holy Mountain. It's also available via Netflix, if you have that kind of time.

Or would you rather stare at this cat? Are we all made of kittens? The answer is in your heart.

via stoned cats

This is what our CEO of Ideas looks at when she's not sober:

[click to enlarge]

Here is something you can never unsee.

How would your life be different if you had flipper feet?

48 responses to “Things to Look at When You’re ‘Not Sober’ or Even When You Are, Whichever”

amythicalcurse (member)
December 19, 2010 at 10:30 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

Most of this is horrifying.

1
Leah
December 19, 2010 at 10:42 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

Great ideas and (soft) drug use are parallel.

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Madeline (member)
December 19, 2010 at 10:48 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

All of this is creepy except for the otter. That was just pure adorable.

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Emily (member)
December 19, 2010 at 10:51 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

this might ruin snow white and/or passion pit for some people.

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1. Ashley (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 12:42 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  this actually just improved my day by at least 25%, espesh because there was an advertisement with marching men that matched the beat on the side.
  
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e
December 19, 2010 at 10:57 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

oh lord. i’m listening to “joints” and then this post happened. i need a moment.

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Rachel (member)
December 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

i love you all

but i can never watch that slow mo video oh my god

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1. Leavens (member)
  December 19, 2010 at 11:46 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  That disturbed me to no end.
  
  But I will say that this post inspired me to open a beer and watch otter frolicking, so I still consider it a success.
  
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  1. Natalie
    December 20, 2010 at 9:17 pm Permalink Log in to reply.
    
    I had the original video when I was a little kid.
    I remember my parents burning it after I couldn’t sleep for 2 weeks.
    
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meanguacamole
December 19, 2010 at 11:37 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

this post was very timely and much appreciated and made of many kinds of awesome. riese, is your “idea board” a computer application? i want one of my very own…

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1. riese (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 12:39 am Permalink Log in to reply.
  
  oh that is a collage i made on picasa of screenshots of things i do when i am high aka 7pm–>sleep
  
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  1. meanguacamole
    December 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm Permalink Log in to reply.
    
    i open new windows and tabs until safari quits on me, swear a whole bunch, reopen safari–>repeat cycle until sleep. but i start at like 4pm. productivity fail.
    
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LaughCryBaby (member)
December 19, 2010 at 11:48 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

no no no. did not like the shaky cat and i tried listening to bad romance while watching it… and just ended up watching the bad romance video. This post led me to GAGA alls well.

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Kristin
December 19, 2010 at 11:50 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

a small part of me just died inside.

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betsey
December 19, 2010 at 11:51 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

i just saw Black Swan and now this. my brain might be about to explode! that cat gif where the only thing in focus is the tongue, is freaking me out. Luckily the adorable otter is there to save the day.

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Ashley (member)
December 20, 2010 at 12:05 am Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

i played “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit while watching that black cat. it looked like the cat was singing and it was awesome.
watch this while you aren’t sober: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1PsDyhNFBI

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1. jveebs (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 1:03 am Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  great, thanks for that, now I’m hungry
  
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2. Ashley (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 12:50 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  ALSO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfdt_151Jag
  
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3. Abernathy (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 6:35 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  I just watched this. Drunk. Omg that is the funniest/grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I feel like I’m having a heart attack just watching PD make that ‘burger.’
  
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LS
December 20, 2010 at 12:19 am Permalink Log in to reply.

mesmerizing iPhone apps: Line Art, Cartwheel, SpawnHD, APOD (astronomy picture of the day), Dinosaurs and Cosmic by the American Museum of Natural History

toys: buckyballs, legos, http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/8ed4/

miscellaneous: trees.reddit.com , Doctor Who,

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Ariel (member)
December 20, 2010 at 12:51 am Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

WHAT EVEN IS THAT MARY KATE AND ASHLEY VIDEO?
Also, I’m ashamed to know that the opening to that is not the opening to the actual sleepover video.

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1. Jacka
  December 20, 2010 at 1:24 pm Permalink Log in to reply.
  
  I only managed 3 mins.. I was afraid my epilpsey/ gag reflex mite kick in.. My head is sore … :/ gona lay down for a while .. Carry on without me.. Il b back In a wee while ..
  
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emma
December 20, 2010 at 1:19 am Permalink Log in to reply.

i fucking love autostraddle so much. unfortunately i just gave up “not being sober” but i still enjoyed watching these videos very much.

uuuuhhhh but i have to say … holy mountain, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FUCK.

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southpaw
December 20, 2010 at 1:47 am Permalink Log in to reply.

Pink vinyl purse. Always pink vinyl purse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP2gJEcRdUk&feature=related

To erase the trauma of that neil diamond video:

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katrina (member)
December 20, 2010 at 1:56 am Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

…lol

try listening to ‘only girl in the world’ while watching ‘i’m real’ by j.lo and ja rule. SURPRISINGLY COORDINATED.

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caitlin
December 20, 2010 at 2:00 am Permalink Log in to reply.

THIS Arcade Fire video:
http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com

give it a real address that’s important to you. seems creepy, but trust me, it’s legit.

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collectedprose
December 20, 2010 at 3:41 am Permalink Log in to reply.

I could not stop laughing while watching the Mary Kate and Ashley video.

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collectedprose
December 20, 2010 at 5:03 am Permalink Log in to reply.

Maybe I’ve been out of the loop but I just saw this and needed to share it. It has Zooey Deschanel… meaning you won’t be disappointed:

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JanisBing
December 20, 2010 at 9:30 am Permalink Log in to reply.

That Ashley & Mary Kate slowmo video is a bad trip in the making

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Carly
December 20, 2010 at 11:38 am Permalink Log in to reply.

In the collage of screen shots, I see that you have one of erowid. That’s basically the craziest website ever. I came upon it when I was working on a project about anesthesia and was completely amazed, haha!

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1. wallow (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 12:03 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  Erowid was the epicenter of my high school life. That website was like a bucket list for me.
  
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  1. riese (member)
    December 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm Permalink Log in to reply.
    
    You guys, Erowid is my team pick of life. I actually think I started reading Erowid before I used other parts of the internet, like email or google. It’s been around FOREVER. And actually I do think it’s very useful. I think I’ve essentially become a walking talking Erowid vault however.
    
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    1. wallow (member)
      December 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm Permalink
      
      OMG, Erowid WAS the internet, huh?
      
      I think I discovered this website around the same time that I discovered how to clear my browsing history.
      
      Riese, you have totally submitted stories to the “experiences” vault, haven’t you? I used to read those like people now read blogs.
      
      Thank you, Erowid, for giving me things I could do while I was on probation and being drug tested; and also, you know, for almost turning me into a junkie.
      
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    2. riese (member)
      December 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm Permalink
      
      haha no i have never submitted a story, do they accept them from just anyone? i think writing down the drug combinations i’ve consumed would be a moment of reckoning i’m just not ready for yet
      
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terracottatoes (member)
December 20, 2010 at 11:55 am Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

I couldn’t get through more than a minute of that Mary Kate and Ashley video lmaooo

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wallow (member)
December 20, 2010 at 12:04 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

You guys, I’m like totally contact high now.

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a;ex (member)
December 20, 2010 at 1:39 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

omg I am laughing SO HARD. Mostly because of these comments.

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wallow (member)
December 20, 2010 at 1:46 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

Also, is liking Mary-Kate and Ashley something to be ashamed of? Because, like, “It Takes Two” is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Between my sisters and I we have almost all of their movies and I can quote a lot of them and I find myself in many-a-situation where I do.

“I’ll have a beer… heavy on the root.”

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1. HypeSociety (member)
  December 20, 2010 at 2:27 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user
  
  It Takes Two was one of my favorites. I also own this…
  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282341/
  
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HypeSociety (member)
December 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

creepiest thing about the slo-mo mary-kate & ashley video is the mom or whoever standing in the doorway.

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anna
December 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

“How would your life be different if you had flipper feet?”
I would wear socks more often.
Or totally win at swimming.

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Mornyng (member)
December 20, 2010 at 4:20 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

I am completely sober, but these pictures and videos are still entertaining. Here is an additional video to watch while not sober: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgG9AMuq8xA&feature=related

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kayla
December 20, 2010 at 7:35 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

CAN THIS PLEASE BE A REGULAR FEATURE?? ‘Things to Look at When Not-Sober’ would quickly become one of my favorite features on AS.

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Laneia (member)
December 20, 2010 at 9:19 pm Permalink Log in to reply.

i believe this post was a success

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melerwin (member)
December 20, 2010 at 11:56 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

Ambien CR has suited the purpose of this thread well,

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TJ
December 22, 2010 at 11:22 am Permalink Log in to reply.

For months I have began to write a comment on an Autostraddle post, and then, after some thinking, deleted it because I am just not a commenter of posts. but now, for the first time in my life, I will submit this comment just to let you know that I absolutely love this post, SO MUCH.

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Roxy2
December 23, 2010 at 2:49 am Permalink Log in to reply.

this post scared me at first
but then i realized i was sober
now that i’m not sober
my feelings are different
but also i feel that this post could be its own website
and that’s just one of 5,210,84u.9010 feelings right now
the rest are harder to interpret

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Marina (member)
December 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm Permalink Log in to reply.Report user

HAUHAUAH OMG

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