Not Your Heteronormative Weekend Getaway: The Survival Guide

By Sonny Oram and Sarah Champagne

Hi! We are Sonny, founder and editor in chief of Qwear, with dapper partner in crime/future house boi Sarah Champagne. We recently went to Ptown for “ladies” weekend and have returned to you with survival tips on fashion, intimate times, and, well, fashion.

We are the ones in the glasses and combed hair.

We are the ones in the glasses and combed hair.

Arrive With A Bang (and/or appropriate luggage)

Ptown can be kind of intimidating, so when you first enter the scene, you want to feel as confident in your outfit as you do with your luggage. Luckily, Fashion Traffic recently treated Sonny to this beauty:

$129 at Topo Designs

$129 at Topo Designs

Whis this orange sack of handsome over her shoulders, she was able to safely nagivate through the throngs of cuties upon arrival without too many embarassing moments.

But that’s not all. There’s nothing worse than bringing an adorable one back to your room only to expose your toiletries sprawled around the sink or, worse, stuffed in plastic bags (quelle horreur!) Invest in a dapper travel kit to show that you are a queer of distinction! Also makes for a great gift for your special boi.

Rail and Wharf Travel Kit, at J.Crew for $48.00

Rail and Wharf Travel Kit, at J.Crew for $48.00

Get Ready to Get Dirty

If, like Sonny, you find yourself visiting your friends on a campground, you might want to consider bringing old sneakers or boots. Sonny thought her suede derbies and shiny white Adidas would cover every possible occasion, but they felt differently about the muddy campsite. Nothing kills the mood like ugly crying. Trust us, it’s not as much of an aphrodisiac as you might have thought.

Old sneakers or boots might also come in handy for the parties steeped in a layer of alcohol ankle deep.

These hunter rain boots are perfect for warmer weather adventures:

caption

Hunter Bormio Combat Boots at Piperlime for $150

Welcome to Lesbro County

When the majority of the population is decked out in athletic attire and backwards baseball caps, queer dandies can easily feel out of place. We got tons of compliments on our outfits, and several people said that they were outright refreshing. If however, you don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, you might want to incorporate some less refined items into your wardrobe. Sonny’s studded denim vest from forever 21 went over really well along with her dashing regulars.

If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, Champagne’s classic bowtie pairing with every outfit worn day and night elicited covetous glances from boys to bois alike. Choosing a floral bowtie keeps the mood light and frothy, perfectly paving the way as an intro to the winsome queer by the pool. Bonus: untying your bow as the evening hours slip away on the dance floor is an enticing invitation for a cute queer to pull you oh-so-close.

To borrow from the legions of lesbros, converse was big there, so this outfit with Converse and blazer/pants combo would have been so sharp:

A nod to nautical, and other dapper accessories


Anything with anchors, rope or little doggies will suit you well for this cape cod caper. If you want a nautical bracelet, Kiel James Patrick is a classic! Sonny finally splurged on this one herself, and we’re glad she did! And if you DO want to wear a bow tie, check out some nautical/preppy ones!

(from: etsy)

(via: etsy)

So, you’ve met an adorable queerling, you’ve secured a reservation to a swanky dinner spot overlooking the beautiful bay and now you’re ready to out-dandify the crowd. Adding a nautical twist to your evening swank will impress even the most aloof Cape Town queer. Try this gorgeous Anchor Tie Bar and watch as your date struggles to maintain a facade of hipster ennui.

$65 at J.Crew

$65 at J.Crew

If ties aren’t your thing, pop a spot of color into your ensemble with a dashing pocket square like this covet-inducing one:

Suspenders are a staple for any dapper queerling. However, despite the alluring name, eschew Cock & Bull leather if you’re looking for suspenders and kinkier fare in town. Champagne rocks these white leather braces from Ptown’s Full Kit.

Choose from a variety of colors, including these adorable ones in yellow.

Choose from a variety of colors, including these adorable ones in yellow.

Secure at least an hour of alone time every day

We take a moment’s pause on dapper talk for a Sonny-Champagne PSA: yes, even the most extraverted of queers needs time away from LezFest Weekend. Whether you’re going camping with your friends, renting a hotel with your boo or sharing a house with 10 people, it’s important for your sanity to take a break from partying and get some alone time. This will be nearly impossible to enjoy unless you plan ahead and are very clear about your needs. Try,”Hey, at 3 I’m going on a walk. I’ll catch up with you at glitter wrestling.” Or, “Mind if I plan to have the room to myself today at 12?” Your friends will appreciate your interest in taking care of yourself so that you can maintain your non-grumpy friend stature!

Swimwear and Beach time

From knee-length to brief-length, there are lots of swimwear options out there for folx. While it’s a bit late in the game this season (suits are selling out fast!), it’s never too early to begin thinking about next year!  Sonny loves the fit and feel of her board shorts from PacSun (same cut as the ones below), which she pairs with a tank top over her binder:

Blocker Boardshorts, $56 at PacSun

Blocker Boardshorts, $56 at PacSun

We saw lots and lots of plaid on board short combinations, but if you’re hoping for something a little faggier/queerer, don’t fret. We love places like Brooklyn’s Marimacho, which takes into consideration different gender identities while celebrating all bodies as adorable. If bikinis or board shorts aren’t your thing, check out these 1920s inspired looks for inspiration towards your own rendition!

Super Boi Swim Brief, $55 at Marimacho

Super Boi Swim Brief, $55 at Marimacho

We are also in love with little fabulous ones with drawstrings:

http://www.mensuas.com/Timoteo-Malibu-Orange-Swim-Brief-p/1210orange.htm

via: mensuas

Don’t be afraid to craft your own look with an infusion of dapper: Who says you can’t rock a bow tie on the beach? Sarah Champagne dandified the beach in a white linen button-down/plaid bow tie and short shorts combination. Creativity is key, lovelies!

Intimate dapperness

You’ve gone for a well-deserved jaunt by the beach, wound up ripping off all your carefully picked swimwear (there MAY have been some inebriation involved) and find yourself admist a steamy session with a cutie who isn’t even your “type”. Anything is possible in Ptown.

If intimate times with that adorable queer(s) is a possibility, make sure you’re prepared with some dapper safety accessories: gloves, condoms, lube — having your own safety kit makes a queer feel ready for anything. Showing you care enough to protect yourself and your community is also very hot. Ptown has a lovely sex store: Toys of Eros, which is definitely queer-friendly and sex-positive (duh!), but it pays to plan ahead. When this adorable queer, sometimes known as Champagne, ran out of lube, it was, um, rather frustrating, to discover they didn’t carry a water-based, glycerin and paraben-free lube. Glycerin has been associated with not-so-convenient yeast infections (uh, totally not the time!) and parabens are just way too harsh for naughty bits. Plan ahead.

So if you are thinking about getting a little bit closer with that oh-so-adorable queerling, gloves are the way to go. We like how sexy these black gloves look, but you can also color coordinate if you like! Pink? Blue? You decide. Most importantly, make sure you choose non-powdered (ewwww!) latex-free varieties for those with latex sensitivities. These tattoo gloves are both adorable and of medical grade – so you can frolic at will – without letting anything spoil the moment. Snap one of these on your hand and you’re ready to go!

Nitrile Black Dragon Zero Gloves, Medium, 100 count, $12.25 at Amazon

Nitrile Black Dragon Zero Gloves, Medium, 100 count, $12.25 at Amazon

The delicate art of packing… your suitcase

When packing, perhaps the single most important gift you can give yourself is that of preparation. You will need something for cavorting around town, relaxing at the beach, preening at happy hour, and nighttime reveling. In the end, while we can provide you an overview, choosing what to bring is a bit more personal. This is where we pause to ask… isn’t there an app for that?  Why, yes, my little queer darlings, yes there is. Simply head over to Packing Pro for an app that will change your life.

You can create lists for any kind of trip, however brief. Pack with confidence for your entourage, including your adorably fashionable pets using suggestions for categories ranging from accessories to staples — this app even factors in the local weather and allows you to filter by person. Aside from incorporating a mobile version of Cuddlr™, by which cuddly queers can connect, we can’t think of a single thing they’ve left out. Now that you’ve created your ultra packing list, you can relax, knowing your favorite toy shan’t languish forgotten and abandoned in your side drawer.

However, here is where the true challenge begins. No outfit, however dashing, can be salvaged once relegated to the bottom of a dusty backpack. Ptown-bound queers: welcome to the Art of Packing 101 (your bag, not your swag) Here are a few quick tips:

#1 Iron your lovely plaids and button-ups and roll them nicely into a spiffy little bundle to ensure that dashing queer shan’t be disappointed at your swanky dinner.

#2 Pop your shoes into recycled plastic bags to keep your tidy whities pristine. If you’re packing some deliciously jaunty dress shoes like these from Aldo, you’ll want to keep them fresh and scuff free. To help keep your shoes immaculate, pop a few pairs of socks/chargers/cables inside and pack them on the perimeter of your bag with the top facing in, nestled safely against your clothes.

#3 If you’re the dashing type, you likely have more products than Lady Gaga on opening night. Rather than take up valuable space with full sized products, try taking only the amount you think you might use. Champagne hoards the little round sample sized containers given free at cosmetic counters and uses them to squeeze in a dollop of their favorite product, saving precious space for crucial things without which life simply can’t go on… such as bow ties.

#4 And the most valuable tip you will ever learn: Drum roll, please…However many knickers you think you’ll need? Triple it. Trust us on this one. Having too many dandy panties in Ptown is a physical impossibility.

Which brings us to…

Sexy Underwear

Ptown hosts multiple underwear contests. So if that’s your thing, pack accordingly. All our femmes had cute lacy bras coquettishly peeking out of their dresses and whatnots. So if you’re into your boobs, you may enjoy taking the opportunity to flaunt them more than you would in hetero spaces. There is always the very real possibility that you will wind up taking your clothes off on the dance floor, so why not be prepared?

Fancy bra or bando under a blazer is a yes in Ptown. So is this:

For more masculine options, try some RodeoH’s (also great underwear! Why not?)

RodeoH Gray Boxer, $49 at Rodeoh.com

RodeoH Gray Boxer, $49 at Rodeoh.com

If galavanting around Cape Cod with your own coy peep show sounds appealing, how about showcasing a pair of these cuties?

Paul Smith Underwear - Black And Purple Boxer-Briefs, $65.00 at Paul Smith


Paul Smith Underwear – Black And Purple Boxer-Briefs, $65.00 at Paul Smith


Always have cash


Listen. LISTEN. Everywhere you go, Ptown is awash in covers and drinks, drinks, and more delicious drinks. Bringing cash allows you to slip away for a romp with your new queerling without having to wrestle your way to sign your tab, or worse: lose sight of your new paramour in a sea of queerlings as you hunt for an ATM. Bring a wad of cash safely tucked away in a secret compartment in your luggage, and then simply tuck a few notes away per adventure. An added bonus? Sticking to a budget makes over-indulging less likely, leaving you to enjoy the mornings after in style with your boo. Make sure you have some 1’s for easy tipping (especially for the GoGo dancers!)

And there you have it, precious queerlings. Brush off your wings and get ready to dip into the slightly addictive whirlpool of queer delight that is Ptown. Remember, when in doubt, be bold, be brave, be as dapper as your little queer heart desires.

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23 Comments

  1. Thumb up 5

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    I don’t mean to be a negative nelly, and I liked the information in the article for the most part, but something about tone really bothered me? It came off a little bit too “Flo at Progressive Insurance”. So I hope Qwear can relax with the chirpiness a little bit next time. Maybe.

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        That’s reasonable. I’ve been reading for almost 3 years now and I suppose I still have the expectation that I’ll love every single article. That was true when you were posting less but I suppose now that you’re widening your target demographic from “anxious political baby dykes” to “queer women” I shouldn’t be surprised that not everything is to my taste

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    I ALWAYS HAVE MY TOILETRIES SPREAD OUT ALL OVER/ in plastic bags when i travel
    actually in plastic bags that are in other travel bags i’ve picked up over the years
    but that bag is so cute i want it

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    “Baby dyke weekend” (aka ladies’ weekend aka Memorial Day) was my first time in PTown. NO ONE GAVE ME THE LESBRO ATTIRE ONLY MEMO. I have never felt so awkwardly dressed as a high femme. #onlygirlinheels.

    PTown is my new favorite place. Definitely will be finding time to make it back another time this summer.

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    I always love the fashion articles on dapper style… maybe when I finish losing weight and need to invest in a new wardrobe I will buy an outfit or two and see how I like it on my body. I sure as heck like it on other peoples bodies haha!

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