Comments on: The Ones We Left Behind: On Being An Ally To Small Town Queers

By: Being a lesbian in the South | Queer Down South

Being a lesbian in the South | Queer Down South — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:59:11 +0000

[...] That AS article came into my mind, and I realized that in San Diego my being an out lesbian was easy; here, it is crucial. [...]

By: April

April — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 16:44:27 +0000

I grew up in the Adirondacks in the NY North Country and it remains a completely undiscovered treasure. You can take a fucking FERRY to Vermont after taking a train ride through the mountainside like you’re going to Hogwarts.

But my Dad always said that the North Country’s biggest export is its children – because there are no jobs for us to go back to after college. I’d love to live in the area again, I’d love to see a queer community start on the NY side of Lake Champlain, but I need to pay my billz too.

By: Sierra

Sierra — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 20:02:54 +0000

I’m from SW Michigan and I made my exodus to Ann Arbor as quickly as humanly possible (also before I really knew I was queer). It’s much better here, but still not great since Michigan as a whole sucks. I also know a fair amount of queers who are still rockin’ in SW Michigan, though. Most of them left our hometown (pop. 4,500) in favor of “city life” in Kzoo or GR.

By: Julian

Julian — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 01:26:05 +0000

Also, that is a long-ass comment. I would feel more guilty if this post wasn’t almost five months old. Oops.

By: Julian

Julian — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 01:24:27 +0000

So I wish I had found this article (and this website and this community) about three years ago, but as it is it struck a huge chord (we’re talking 1000-pipe organ swell here.)
I was raised in a small South Carolina town who hasn’t so much as had a Democratic dogcatcher since the party switch. It was sort of (kind of not really) acceptable to be gay, as in you could go to the one Unitarian church in town, or maybe some of the more progressive Episcopalian ones, and people would talk about you behind your back, and the guys might make comments about the way you dressed, but usually not to your face. God forbid you be lesbian, or even bi, though. I have no idea why (I suspect it has something to do with lesbianism rejecting the old-boys network that ran my town, because lesbians by definition can’t be expected to depend on guys for support, and *gasp* independent females, and so the male power structure comes crashing down, but that’s my WGSS class talking.)
Anyway, I didn’t realize I was queer until I got to college, when I met actual real live lesbians and bi girls and wait, I can like girls and that’s ok?
I fled, though, because my town was small and stifling even before I realized I was queer, but I do feel guilty for wanting to get the hell outta dodge. I could do a lot, I think, or at least something, and someone has to change the atmosphere of that place. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be openly queer there, and I’m simultaneously proud of and afraid for the two friends I’ve talked to who are still at home and slowly coming out.

By: Sunday News Round-Up, Got Distracted So I’m Still at Level 89 Edition « Women's Health News

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:38:18 +0000

[...] The Ones We Left Behind: On Being An Ally To Small Town Queers Good stuff. “A common saying heard during my childhood was, ‘A true lady never talks religion or politics.’ Yet much of progressive activism hinges upon doing just that.” Ayup. [...]

By: Lo

Lo — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 01:52:02 +0000

I feel like Southern Studies is such an interesting topic. I wish I had that course!

And this is unrelated but I played at your school’s rugby tourney a couple weekends ago!

By: Olivia

Olivia — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 03:02:09 +0000

Reading these stories made me feel so many feels. I feel for all of you, every single one of your experiences, and some of them made me cry. Gosh, I just wish life could be easier for all of us, I wish that being a lesbian, or queer, or different didn’t mean we had to give up our hometowns, our families, our communities, and our old selves because it’s either that or a life in the closet filled with misery. I wish there was something that could be done to change things, and faster, within our lifetimes.

By: Alex

Alex — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:26:21 +0000

I’m from Mississippi too! Born and raised in Jackson, which is probably the most progressive city in the state as far as LGBTQ rights are concerned. Which really only means that at any given point there are slightly less people who believe that you are going to burn in hell. I’m not gonna lie, I want to get the fuck out of here ASAP so I can have room to grow and meet people like me but at the same time, Jackson is a HUGE part of who I am and I’m afraid of going somewhere else and painting over that part of me. But I guess that’s life. Its hard out here for a pimp…I mean queer.

By: Megaera

Megaera — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 15:31:21 +0000

I hear you, QB. Although I grew up and spent most of my life in towns and cities, I now live in a remote village – not even a small town – that is the home of my heart, and I can’t imagine ever leaving here. Certainly not for a town or city, which would drive me round the bend in a matter of days. My partner lives in a city over 24 hours travel away, and can’t bear to live away from the facilities of the city: she feels trapped in the quiet of the countryside. It’s difficult.

By: Erin

Erin — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 06:12:21 +0000

What is the autostraddle correspondence thing?

By: Erin

Erin — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 06:11:11 +0000

We’re in two completely different places, but your story is so similar to mine. I’ve been dreaming of the big city since I was 12 and still not there yet. I can’t wait to be free too.