I’ve worked hard to hold onto my independence, and here I was giving it up — to someone more dominant and more masculine. My feminist ancestors didn’t burn their bras for this. Except what if they did?
“…there’s a value in extending the period of time in which the way you build a life together is directed only by what’s in your heart and guts and brain, not by leases and legal documents and bill payments and shared sofas.”
“I cannot wait to have a partner with whom I can explore consensual non-consent in a 24/7 lifestyle. But to be called a slave? In America?”
A 28 year-old closeted lesbian and married mother of three, and a token gay friend who’s feeling quite encroached upon. Calling it like I see it!
Sarah and I talked a lot about power in our relationship — who had it, who felt it, how it flowed between us. It wasn’t always smooth.
“I want to make out with my bestie. I love her dearly, but I don’t think I’m in love with her—I don’t want to be in a whole relationship thing with her or anything.”
We started to turn the top/bottom dynamics in our sex life into 24/7 dominance/submission. It was highly negotiated, mutually consensual, and extremely hot.
“The Dark Closet Private Conversation Area.”
Tease and denial is a classic flirtation. Orgasm control is just one step further.
“My goopy brain instantly convinced me that this event would singularly make or break our relationship and that if it went poorly it would be my fault. But I swallowed my anxiety and said yes. Then I immediately started thinking about my outfit.”
“I was bred as a Southern Baptist, which gave me plenty of reasons not to let a guy touch my boobs. For example, it would break Jesus’ heart. And also I would go to hell.”
“I’ve been thinking recently that queer time for me is a self-declared snow day. A chance to stay in bed and explore ourselves unhindered by the outside world. A chance to exist, to play — free from the hetero pillars of career, marriage, and lineage.”
Maybe the reason your friend/the older self-professed queen at the bar/your co-worker/that girl Claire won’t stop talking about finding someone is because they have 25 times more Keurig flavor options than the whole of their supposed dating pool — we’re scientifically improbable.
“Neither of us were comfy with the public spectacle of the thing, especially G. She didn’t like the thought of publicizing our private relationship. We also felt a bit blah about marriage itself, which can feel like an outdated institution. And there were practical worries, too — like how would we plan a big event, with so much on our plates?”
“The first girl I ever kissed spent her summers on her uncle’s farm, helping him bale hay. She would come back to school with the insides of her wrists all welted-up like she had been stung by bees. I wanted to kiss each sting but I never asked.”
You broke up a long time ago and you’re cool with each other, but still fight just like you did when you were together. Is that, uh, normal?
We asked 3,500+ women in same-sex relationships what they fought about — from drinking too much to not seeing each other enough to being jealous of exes, here’s the results!
You can be poly and married and want to date, but no one will know what your deal is until you tell them, so tell them up front.
Quick and dirty advice for a brand new lesbian in Chicago, a small town bird who’s ready to be in the same room with her ex, and someone who’s tired of being The Gay One. Get in here!
“Whether or not selfie culture upholds or demolishes the patriarchy”