Josie Kearns is a 33-year-old queer, polyamorous, white, trans woman living in Chicago. She has been married for 12 years and also has a long-term girlfriend.
Do you have to go to your homophobic asshole cousin’s wedding? How do you tell your more-than-friends friend that you’ve slept with her ex? Is 22 too old to still be as pure and virginal as the driven snow? Get in here and find out!
“First comes Twitter, then comes Snapchat, then comes texting nudes to a complete and total stranger.” Patty-cake to that one, kiddos.
So you want to break up? Don’t be mean. Be honest.
“…there’s a value in extending the period of time in which the way you build a life together is directed only by what’s in your heart and guts and brain, not by leases and legal documents and bill payments and shared sofas.”
Be a Taurus. If that’s not your sign, figure out how for it to be your sign.
“I want to make out with my bestie. I love her dearly, but I don’t think I’m in love with her—I don’t want to be in a whole relationship thing with her or anything.”
We started to turn the top/bottom dynamics in our sex life into 24/7 dominance/submission. It was highly negotiated, mutually consensual, and extremely hot.
Spend time alone and exalt in your own company. Make your own decisions and order your own dinner and dream your own dreams.
Studying abroad or going long distance isn’t a death knell for a relationship, but I’m hearing something else in your question.
Before you can find someone who wants what you want, you have to say no to everyone who doesn’t.
“Am I in denial? Should I view this as a total dealbreaker? What is a girl to do?”
This happens to a lot of us — like, a lot a lot of us. And we’ve got to laugh it off, what else can we do? I mean, it’s likely to happen again.
“My goopy brain instantly convinced me that this event would singularly make or break our relationship and that if it went poorly it would be my fault. But I swallowed my anxiety and said yes. Then I immediately started thinking about my outfit.”
“I’ve been disabled for as long as I’ve been a woman, gay and, y’know, alive. So I don’t even know how it’s possible to “see past” something so fully baked into my experience. Instead, I need you to work a little harder and understand disability as part of my value rather than a caveat on it.”
Sometimes the girl you have a crush on has an open girl/boy/boifriend and you’ve never even thought about non-monogamy before. Here’s how to start.
“I’ve been thinking recently that queer time for me is a self-declared snow day. A chance to stay in bed and explore ourselves unhindered by the outside world. A chance to exist, to play — free from the hetero pillars of career, marriage, and lineage.”
I had to be comfortable enough to say, “I like this, but not that” to someone I’d just met, because if I couldn’t, I might get my clit bit again.
Figuring out how to use digital spaces is as powerful as living your best queer life, with certainty.
Prepare to get your socks charmed off by eight of our single staffers. We’ve asked them all the important things: star sign, Hogwarts house, and opinions on the greatest cereal ever created.