“Y’all, I managed not to cry in this third trimester video, but here I am now, writing, tears rolling down my face at my desk, just a few feet away from our new rocking chair where I plan to spend hours nursing my baby.”
Questions I never thought I’d have to consider, but here we are. Get an exclusive peek into my over-processing journey towards queer parenthood.
How do we both honor our child’s memory and prepare to open our hearts again to a new child?
Ah, pregnant beginnings. Literally and figuratively. The first trimester of this rainbow pregnancy (yes, that’s actually the term for a pregnancy after a loss). Is it possible to grieve and hope simultaneously?
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. After losing my first pregnancy at 24 weeks, how could we face the conception process again, with the added physical and emotional complications?
Sometimes, even the best laid plans are, well, decimated. Even a type-A mega control freak like me couldn’t control my own body when I was pregnant — and I certainly couldn’t control what happened to my son after his premature birth.
“If we think too hard, we’ll never do it,” Kellie said. She was right. A cost-benefit analysis would yield no practical reason to grow our family. The only reason to make a new baby was that we felt like it, and we could.
Did you guys know that in many states, if a physician doesn’t conduct the insemination, then the parental rights of the sperm donor might not be terminated?
So maybe my pregnancy path isn’t as simple and straightforward as baby books would have you believe it should be because I’m a poor QPoC with anxiety, but it has been an interesting worthwhile journey so far. I can’t wait until I can take the next step.
In the early oughts, Dr. Orly Lacham-Kaplan got pretty close to figuring out how to turn two human eggs into a baby — something a lot of lesbians want to see happen very soon. What happened?
It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.
Personally, I blame the hit sequel “Heather’s Two Mommies Have Two Kegs Of Miller Lite.”
“She (or he) is roughly the size of an avocado.”
Focusing on the number or gender of individuals raising children distracts us from the reality that patriarchal power structures and unequal social institutions are what really make things disadvantageous for children.
Kristen’s Team Pick: Here’s your daily Aww.
A new study shows that boys raised by lesbians are properly gender socialized. Um, yay?
“This study cannot answer political questions about same-sex relationships and their legal legitimacy.”