Big news everybody! My favourite band Tatu are performing at the opening ceremonies of the 2014 Sochi Olympics today! The faux-lesbian pop duo have been officially disbanded since 2011 following a much-storied and tumultuous career, but they’ll be miraculously on hand to usher in the most talented athletes in the world with their timeless 2003 hit “Нас Не Догонят (Not Gonna Get Us).” Let’s revisit the good times:
It seems curious that despite Tatu’s entire public persona being attached to the idea that the two were scandalous lovers (which was 100% manufactured, but titillating nonetheless), they’ve been tapped to represent their country under such repressive circumstances. Despite a poorly-received law banning anything that might be perceived as “homosexual propaganda,” the girl group are most notorious for making out in schoolgirl uniforms on talk shows and in their melodramatic music videos. During the warm-up show, which will not be broadcast outside Russia, singers Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova (now 29 and 28, respectively) will serenade Russia’s athletes as they enter the stadium. As more than one news outlet has reported, it does seem that Tatu’s very existence, nevermind presence at this event constitutes homosexual propaganda.
The ceremony itself is meant to celebrate Russia’s storied past, beginning in ancient times and encompassing the country’s entire history. According to the Wall Street Journal, “Church domes will float above the newly-built stadium, giant magic horses will glow in the sky, and Russian heavy weight boxing champion and the lawmaker Nikolai Valuyev will perform as Uncle Styopa, a benign giant policeman from a Russian children’s book.” The ceremony is also said to involve Russian conductor Valery Gergiev and violinist Yuri Bashment.
Earlier yesterday morning, Lena Katina tweeted: “They have invited us to perform at the opening ceremony of the Sochi Olympics, but they’re treating the artists like shit!!! The organization is horrible.” The tweet has since been deleted.
With all the controversy surrounding Tatu’s role in the Olympic opening ceremonies, the best thing we can do is celebrate our own freedom with this beautiful piece of homosexual propaganda: