Summer 2011 TV Preview: Five Shows These Homos Will Be Watching

Ah, the sweet sounds and sights of summer television! There’s nothing like curling up next to your air conditioner, flipping on the teevee and basking in the rays of entertainment emanating from your evil box.

This summer is looking especially promising, and I’m not just saying that because I’ve spent the last three weeks watching the first three seasons of True Blood, fully had a dream about Eric last night and cannot wait one more minute for this to happen. Though I’m worried about DVD Withdrawal, which is a condition brought on when, following an episode of a TV program, the patient is not able to immediately view the next episode of the TV program via DVD. This most often occurs when the patient is attempting to watch the program as it airs rather than several years after the airing.

Anyhow! What’s worth watching this season, lesbos? This post was delayed by my discovery and subsequent dismay that Extreme Couponing will not return with new episodes until the fall. Let’s discuss! You’re going to have a lot of tough decisions to make because everything is on Sunday nights. All of the things.

 

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1. True Blood

HBO, Sunday June 26 at 9 p.m.

HBO’s 12-episode season Four of True Blood  is mere WEEKS away and the whole primary cast is coming back for more bloodsucking and more brooding emotional vampire-men and more Pam. Alan Ball and the cast reported at Paleyfest that Eric will return with no memory of the last 1,000 years and Sookie, having broken up with Bill, will consider “multiple suitors.”

Other returning cast members include werewolf Alcide, Lafayette’s new boyfriend Jesus, Holly the new Merlotts waitress, Crystal the Animal Person Jason likes, Sophie-Anne the Vampire Queen of Louisiana (played by Evan Rachel Wood bisexual) and — why God, why?!! — Marshall Allman as Sam’s brother Tommy Mickens. Did anyone else find that storyline entertaining or give two shits what happened to Tommy? Me neither.

And guess who’s joining the cast?

PAPI! Janina Gavankar will play Luna, a shape-shifter who “catches Sam’s eye” and I really hope, for his godforsaken sake, that she doesn’t turn out to secretly be like, the Wolf Mother disguised as a lapdog.

Also joining the show is Fiona Shaw, who’s been in a lot of Harry Potter movies, as Marnie, “a witch whose agenda threatens the vampire establishment.”

Here’s some sneak peeks of Sookie prancing about in Glow-Fairy-Land with the guy who played Mr. Brady in The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel, which were fantastic films.


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2. Pretty Little Liars

ABC Family, Tuesday June 14 at 9 p.m.

There’s one part of me that is so excited for the return of Pretty Little Liars and Emily the Lesbian. There’s another part of me that can’t imagine having to write two TV recaps a week for the rest of the month. When you combine both of those parts, we still don’t know who A. is or if whatserface is ever coming back from Gay Rehab camp.

Shay Mitchell told TV Guide Magazine that Emily will have “multiple new love interests” and Troian Bellisario told TV Guide Magazine that her relationship with Toby will “deepen.” I think that means Emily’s not moving to Texas and that she’s like, the flyest lesbian in town upon whom all the ladies wanna go down. See that? I rhymed. Good huh?

Other promises include that we’ll pick up right where we left off, immediately figure out what happened to Ian, and have lots more flashbacks.


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Avatar of Riese

Riese is the 32-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1744 articles for us.

91 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

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    My inner teenager is pretty pumped for Pretty Little Liars and Degrassi. Will Emily or Fiona win over my true fictional love? I plan on spending the summer finding out!

    I can’t watch another Ilene Chaiken show. Even if it has lots of boobs. I’m sorry, I just can’t.

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      I like Glee but the Glee Project…I can’t. I just can’t. Glee is becoming this huge money machine and it makes me uncomfortable. I just want the tv show, not a spinoff reality show. :(
      The only reality shows I watch are So You Think You Can Dance (I skip the judging and just watch the dancing) and various food network competition things, like Iron Chef and Chopped.

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          Which is why this original songs nonsense doesn’t seem to be going away even though they mostly suck. If they perform their own songs they don’t have to pay royalties. Bastards.

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          They also sell singles, albums, compilations, and dvds out the wazoo, as well as the Glee Live tour thing. I’m not saying they shouldn’t make money, I’m just not a fan of reality tv shows.

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    I saw an interview with Ashley Benson in which she says that “really fun things” happen for Hannah & Emily in season 2. Here’s hoping they are really fun bedroom things oops did I say that?

    That Glee Project “Firework” video is like the best worst thing ever. I mostly watched it to see which girl would be the best love interest for Santana – I vote for either the first girl, or the one who’s like Santana redux (hot pink top, nice rack, you know the one I mean).

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    i stopped watching degrassi after they killed j.d., it’s just too tragic (p.s. what ever happened to terry, is she still in a coma?) .

    kinda sucks that I don’t have hbo, now im stuck with whitney’s wheel of les love all summer long. oh well I guess if trlw has taught me anything it’s that summer is for lovin

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    Obviously your recaps are epic. I don’t even watch the two shows you are recapping but I read the recaps. I am torn, though, because your non-recapping posts are so thoughtful and honest, and rare on internet sites/blogs in terms of quality. So I feel like I would be able to read more of those if you had the time.
    This isn’t a post to ask you to do something I would prefer. Just some thoughts and appreciation for your writing, I didn’t know where else to put it. I was going to email/formspring but your box is probably overflowing.

    *My friend just said, You realize you ended that with ‘your box is probably overflowing?????’ Hahahahhaah apparently I did.

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    so i vote for the cute girl with the alternative lifestyle haircut to be santana’s girlfriend. then brittany will become a sad sad panda as she sees them gettin’ their sweet lady kisses on in glee club, and then brittany will confess her love to santana, leading santana to break up with alternative lifestyle haircut girl, and then brittana will finally be on.

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    Summer TV is sad times for the most part. Other than a couple things on this list, I am looking forward to the return of the gayest non-gay show on TV…Rizzoli and Isles.

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    Do you know that Torchwood is coming? It’s a completely awesome British sci-fi show which is like a funny detective thing but with aliens. It is autostraddle relevant because there was a lesbian storyline one episode, and it’s got a reputation as LGBT friendly (ie: big gay/bi men storyline). More importantly, this year the actress who played Faith in Buffy is on it. I can never remember her name but she is awesome. I’m very excited.

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    I cannot see The Glee Project working. Some of them look like actual young people.

    Going by the standard parameters of American teen casting (i.e. teens must be played by 40-year-olds), I can only conclude that the winner will play the role of Quinn’s baby.

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    My five shows, and why:

    Weeds. Mary Loise Parker.
    Warehouse 13. Jaime Murray
    True Blood. Pam.

    It’s only three…but, those three are all I can handle. :]

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    I can’t even contain my giddy schoolgirlness about The Glee Project! I’ve been having Glee withdrawals already, and this is my fix. Can’t wait….my roommates are gonna shit when I tell them about this.

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      Dude, I auditioned to be on it. There’s a video of a 22-year old, slightly embarrassed looking me singing “Rehab” and playing guitar somewhere on the Internet.

      Clearly I didn’t make it on.

      Or did I…?

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    1,2,5!

    I didn’t know Pretty Little Liars was coming back so soon! YAY! I miss Toby.

    Also Degrassi has 2 gay guys so it’s pretty much the queerest thing on TV without being a show about queers.

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      I think Glee and Degrassi are tied on homoqueergayness. Let’s see…

      Degrassi gays:
      Riley
      Zane
      Fiona
      Fiona’s new love interest this season ZOMG I CAN’T WAIT!
      + Adam (trans)

      Glee gays:
      Santana
      Brittany
      Kurt
      Blaine
      Karofsky

      I will say Degrassi’s storytelling is about 100x better than Glee. Especially the Fiona/Adam storyline… that was so great. Plus, Degrassi actually shows its gay kids making out like they do the straighties. Based on all of that, Degrassi earns extra honorary gay points and wins. Yay!!

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    I am watching THE REAL L WORD mainly because I want to see if it’s any less ridiculous than last season. (I doubt it.) Also I want to take in the gorgeousness that is Romi and the bizareness that is Claire.

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