Alice Pieszecki: "I'm gonna go ride with dykes on bikes. Put THAT on your fucking clipboard."
Shane McCutcheon:"Love's a bitch. I'd rather just have a good time and move on."
Carmen de La Pica Morales: Ooh! I would make out with a REPUBLICAN for a million dollars. (everyone groans) What? I think--I think that republicans can be hot.
Jenny Schecter: Take it back.
Carmen de La Pica Morales:Why?
Jenny Schecter: Because. Republicans are fucking scary.
Carmen de La Pica Morales: Scary can sometimes be...sexy.
Shane McCutcheon:They're not scary, they're stupid.
Carmen de La Pica Morales "That's right, and stupid, Shane, can be even sexier."
Gene: (to Jenny) "Well, that's really nice, you know. I like you, too. But we don't have sex. Okay? There it is. I'd like to be having sex with the woman I cook for...make mix-tapes for you, you don't wanna have sex! And....I know why! It's because you're gay. Alright? That's it! I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are a girl-loving, full-on lesbian!"
Jenny Schecter: "I don't think that's for you to say."
Gene: Well, deal with it. Alright?
Shane McCutcheon: "Alice, it's karmically wrong. It's gonna come back at you if you and Dana end up together."
Alice Pieszecki: "Alright. Yoda needs to give me some better advice or Yoda needs to shut the fuck up."
Mark: "Look, when I moved in here, I was the type of guy who was capable of doing shit like this. But I'm not that guy anymore. I've said it before, but you and Shane have made me a better man."
Jenny Schecter: "Oh, Fuck off, Mark. It's not my job to make you a better man and I don't give a shit if I've made you a better man. It's not a fucking woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve."
Shane McCutcheon: "I don't have a plan. That's the point."
Cashier: "Okay. Any flavoring?"
Shane McCutcheon: "What. In my coffee? What the fuck is he talking about the flavoring?"
Jenny Schecter:"I mean, I'm so terrified of being on my own. I just gotta make myself do it, Robin, and I can't--I can't distract myself by creating all this fucking labyrinth-like drama that I'm so good at creating and I promise you--that you do not want to get sucked into my fucking bullshit."
Carmen de La Pica Morales: You know what, I really don't know. Is uh ... is Jenny always so weird?
Shane McCutcheon: "She's not weird. She's great."
Carmen: "Well maybe she's one of those people that's, you know, just constantly in her head."
Shane: "Carmen, she's a writer. She's supposed to be like that."
Jenny Schecter:"No, what I want is for you to write "fuck me" on your chest. Write it! Do it! And then I want you to walk out that door and I want you to walk out on the street and anyone that wants to fuck you I want you to say 'sure, sure, no problem,' and when they do, you have to say thank you very very much and make sure that you have a smile on your face and then, you stupid fucking coward, you're gonna know what it feels like to be a woman."
Bette Porter: "How were you when your life fell apart?"
Jenny Schecter: "A mess."
Bette: "That's it. That's me."
Jenny: "You know what? It does get better."
Bette: "You know, I keep ... replaying it, over and over again in my head. Just trying to figure out ... the exact moment when I could've stopped myself."
Jenny: No, no, no you can't do that. Because we all make mistakes."
Bette: "But not like me. Not like this. (Bette looks at Jenny, Jenny smiles.) ... I don't even know why you're talking to me about this. I mean, it wasn't like I was very nice to you when you went through all of this with Tim."
Jenny: "I don't know. I guess....I know how that feels."
Robin [to Jenny]: "You just wanna sleep with people. Make them fall in love with you, so you can fuck with their heads."
Bette Porter: "Of course. it's a technique of self-help people like him. You spout enough pre-packaged wisdom, there's bound to be something for everybody. you know, i find something for me in the Vogue horoscope, too, that doesn't mean it's not bullshit."
Jenny Schecter: "I kinda like men with small dicks, 'cause then they work really hard to try to please you, you know? Right?"
Tina Kennard: "Jenny, I am beginning to think that you are definitely a lesbian."
Carmen de La Pica Morales: "So I heard this mix at The Knitting Factory last weekend. I mean this is....this is exactly where I wanna be in like, 5 years from now."
Shane McCutcheon: "I like a girl with ambition."
Carmen: [laughing] "Fuck you!"
Shane : "Okay, if you want."
Jenny Schecter: [to Shane] "I don't know, you just sometimes remind me of guys I used to date in high school."
Alice Pieszecki: [to Dana] "I don't get it! What do you want from me? What do you want?"
Jenny Schecter: "If I were a guy, I would definitely ask myself out as a woman, and if I were a woman there's no fucking way that I would ever ask myself our as a woman."
Jenny Schecter: "So what do you think it is?"
Mark: "I don't know. I'd say it has something to do with their attitude. It's not that they're masculine, or anything, 'cause actually some of them are pretty feminine. You know? It's....they have these...haircuts. These very cool haircuts--don't get me wrong--it's not--it's more--it's obviously more than a haircut. But it's no--it's true....it's this something that they exude that's...I'm gonna try and put my finger on it."
Dana Fairbanks [to Tanya]: "You came into my life at a time when I was trying to figure out who I really was, and...you made me feel so well taken-care of. You had such respect for me. That I started leaning to respect myself....and I'll never forget that. Or stop being thankful. But I think I confused it with something else. I know I confused gratitude....with love."
Veronica, [to Shane]: "What are you dressed like? Are you the poster child for the under-nourished and gender-confused?"
Alice Pieszecki: "A fairy godmother comes to visit. She tells you she's gonna give you a penis....you can only get it for 24 hours, and then it disappears. What do you do with that penis for 24 hours?"
Shane McCutcheon: "I would pee standing up on every bush I could find."
Jenny Schecter: "You wouldn't try to fuck a lot of girls?"
Shane McCutcheon: "I don't need a dick to do that."
Bette Porter: "We don't....well, like she doesn't belong to me anymore. Like I--it feels--someone else had been touching her and making love to her and I felt that other person and I felt...her connection to that other person, you know? And, and she did things that we had never done together. And it was like she was so..free..I always treated her so gingerly, you know, like she was some fragile thing. And now, even though she's pregnant, it's like, it's like she's.....it's like she's unbreakable."
Jenny Schecter: "I'm such a fucking idiot. I should have--it was so obvious that all this was gonna happen. Every time I think everything's going really well. I mean, I try really hard. It all fucks up. And I think that maybe I'm just one of those people that ... doesn't deserve ... to be happy."
Alice Pieszecki: "Captain Stubing ... Oh God, is that a periscope in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Franklin: "The settlement is going to give you a nice little coushin, and uh, time for you to--figure out what you--might wanna do next--
Bette Porter: I'll tell you what I'd like to do next, I'd like to fucking murder somebody. You, maybe. Or your friend Helena Peabody. That's nice. That's a really..nice thing to do to someone while their father's dying. You're a class act, Franklin.
Alice Pieszecki: "I follow the heart, not the anatomy."
Veronica Bloom: "Why do people always let you down? No matter how much you have done for them. Don't you find that to be true?"
Shane McCutcheon: "That's why I ... try not to need anything from anyone."
Peggy Peabody: "You know, all that fucking, with no art, is really rather dreary. I hope you girls write fabulous, sick, neurotic , tortured love poems to one another."
Shane McCutcheon:"I'd fuck myself, but I wouldn't date myself."
Gloria Steinham: "It's really bananas to think that all feminists are man-haters because in my experience, it's the women who live with men who hate men. The lesbians can kind of take it or leave it alone."
Peggy Peabody: "Have a Bellini, darling, we all are. Do please leave the 'poor damaged child' nonsense for your psychiatrist. Not the one who's suing you, the one who's taking your phone calls."
Charlotte Birch: [to Jenny] "You are a compulsive excavator of your own emotional navel lint. A nit-picking, obsessive truth-teller."
Howie Fairbanks: "Yeah, I thought it would be fun to surprise you guys."
Dana Fairbanks: "Calling's fun, too. "
Alice Pieszecki: "Or an e-mail's fun."
Carmen De La Pica Morales: "I know how hard you work to keep yourself at a distance from everyone else on the planet, but it's not working for you anymore."
Shane McCutcheon: "It's working fine."
Carmen: "No, it's not, because of this. (puts shane's hand on her heart, then puts her hand on shane's heart) Okay? Do you feel this? Most people don't have this. This is rare."
Shane: "So what?"
Carmen: "That's right. So what? So what if nothing ever comes out of this? So what, if you'll never act on it? You are so convinced that having a relationship near you is going to kill you."
Shane: "Because it will."
Carmen : "And that's why I'm with Jenny. It works because she and I are both biding our time, waiting for the real deal to come along."
Shane: "You don't think you and Jenny are the real deal?"
Carmen: "Jenny wouldn't know what the real deal was if it bit her in the ass. She is so ... lost in her own darkness. I think she likes it in there. But do you know what's fucked up? Is that you and I know what the real deal is. We saw it the first time we laid eyes on each other. You're not living your life, Shane. And if you don't take any risks ... then you might as well be dead."
Tina Kennard: [to Helena] "I'm not some sort of toy that you can take down off the shelf and play with me whenever it suits your mood."
//
No Comments