With Venus in Capricorn as the month begins, we’re still working on being more grown up in all our relationships, and it’s as good a time as any to clear up some misconceptions about this sign. Capricorn isn’t just the stone cold butch who lights matches on her teeth or the power lesbian whose career is her GF. Capricorn isn’t really that different from Cancer, she just has a tougher front: she feels everything just as deeply but doesn’t think it’s wise to show her vulnerability. Capricorn is the energy that teaches us how to make mature, adult decisions; how to work within the limits of reality, how to grow into the wise old souls who won’t be shaken by every crisis. Capricorns feel way more than they show you, and need tenderness and reassurance — but not if it feels manipulative or phony. Capricorn love at its best isn’t showy or dramatic, but steady and reliable. Capricorn love wants you to succeed, wants you to take yourself seriously, and wants to support you in so many subtle ways you may not even notice them all. Capricorn energy balances out the youthful, heart-on-my-sleeve vulnerability of Cancer, and when you can integrate both signs into your relationships you’ve got a real recipe for mature, powerful love.

So how do we work with Venus in Capricorn? We slow down, and we get real. This is especially true the first week of the month, as Venus teams up with dark-and-brooding Pluto (planet of power, obsession, and psychotherapy) and forms a hard aspect to Uranus (planet of sudden changes, queerness, and independence). This aspect can stir up some deep feelings, old memories, or sudden needs for dramatic change. Tap into that Capricorn energy to be patient and realistic about whatever comes up, and honor your inner wise old crone this month as you navigate all your loves and likes and lusts: picture yourself in ten, twenty, or thirty years and think about the life you’d like to build. Who do you need to become to get there? What kinds of choices do you need to make about how you show up for different kinds of love? Are you already trapped by some idea of what an adult “should” be? Do your relationships reflect what you’re ready for right now? Be especially careful around Valentine’s Day, as that high-stakes holiday can have us all — partnered, single or poly — anxious that the love we do have isn’t good enough, real enough, or romantic enough. Tap into that Capricorn wisdom and remember relationships prove themselves over months and years, not just on a single day.

As always, read these horoscopes for whatever is helpful in them, and discard anything that doesn’t resonate! The astro-literate are encouraged to read their Venus and Moon signs first.

And I’m available for readings if you want more insight on your love life; or you can register for my new Astrology 101 class to learn how to read your own chart (and your crush’s chart) like a pro.

Aries

Even when they’re brief, your romances tend to be all-encompassing. The urge to couple off and get trapped in love jail is most powerful when you aren’t in love with the life you’re living. Take some time this month to fall back in love with your purpose in the world, and remember what you’re capable of. This has been a killer year for you: reach out to anyone and everyone who can remind you who you are and what worlds you belong to. And in whatever current or future romance you pursue, don’t use it to lose yourself: remember all the other friendships and connections that make you who you are.

Taurus

If you’re feeling uninspired this month, curl up with your favorite animal familiar and let them teach you a thing or two: cuddliness is a fantastic thing, maybe the best thing, but you also need teeth and claws. This month you need to reconnect with your wildness and wanderlust. Don’t let any relationship domesticate you. When your connections are strong, none will crash and burn if you take a little time away to remember how adventure feels.

Gemini

You’ve been learning a lot about your sexual identity this year, and that process is nowhere near over. This month can bring revelations about how you handle power in sexual intimacy — if power imbalances are a turn on, how can you explore those while safely containing that dynamic to agreed-upon times and places? If you have a hard time connecting to your fantasies, or sharing them with anyone, this month could offer some revelations and build your confidence. You’re coming into your own as a sexual being, and while the ride can be exhilarating remember that sex, as a rule, is messy stuff, and can bring up our deepest fears. Be gentle with yourself and your partners as you figure it all out.

Cancer

Yes, you can do this. You’ve grown so much more in the last few years than you’d ever thought possible. You may be in new terrain in your relationships, in situations that need you to communicate and plan more than you ever have before, but you’ve been building the skills for doing that well. If your style of communicating is more emotionally tinged than not, that’s nothing to be ashamed of — what’s important is that you know how to solve the problems you’re facing with the people you love. Expect this month to deepen your deepest relationships, maybe by initially shaking things up, but remember that not every change is a crisis.

Leo

It’s not the sexiest trick you’ll ever learn, but it might be the most useful: this month you’re learning how to compromise. You’re great at wooing someone, at the big romantic gestures and even the big fights that let your boo know how big your feelings are. And big feelings are great, but this is a quieter month for you. Practice devotion as something that brings you out of yourself and into a sense of communion (but not so far out of yourself that you get resentful and need to retreat huffily back into yourself for a few days). Think more about a note of encouragement tucked into her pocket and less about anything that John Cusack has ever done in a rom com.

Virgo

What if there is no right choice right now? What if you can only make choices for this month, or this week, or this day? As you navigate a Neptune opposition for the next few years, your romantic life can feel foggy and erratic (too good to be true on some days, dismal beyond belief on others). Luckily, this month’s Venus-Pluto conjunction forms a helpful aspect to Jupiter in your sign, offering the prospect of powerful insights and clarity. If you’re looking for a sign, don’t worry: when it comes it won’t be subtle. Just remember to keep your feet on the ground and move slowly until you’re sure your vision is clear.

Libra

Anyone involved in feminist or radical networks has heard of “safe spaces”; places designed to protect people from the kind of oppression they face in the larger culture (like sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.). Though created with the best intentions, these spaces often fail to live up to their promises because there are so many threads of internalized oppression we all carry with us, into every space. This doesn’t mean we should give up on the idea of creating havens for one another, though. This month, you are perfectly positioned to think about how love can be a sanctuary. What’s the difference between a safe space and a sanctuary? The first aims to meet minimum requirements to keep someone from being harassed or intimidated; the second intends that everyone who comes into that space will feel uplifted, inspired, and profoundly welcome. Where can you create sanctuaries right now, for yourself and those you love?

Scorpio

Do you remember how it feels to fall in love with someone new? It can be exciting, but often it’s downright terrifying. Suddenly your priorities shift; you feel there’s so much at stake. You can’t stop thinking about them. The thought of losing them oppresses you with a sense of tragedy that also reminds you that loss is inevitable and someday you will lose this feeling. New love is so dizzyingly terrifying that all those drugged feelings our hormones produce can distract us from the person we’re trying to connect to. Right now, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in, you have a chance to recognize the difference between passion and obsession. Passion is what helps us feel alive and in love; obsession is what keeps us trapped in the fear of death. Which do you want to pursue?

Sagittarius

We each have something we fear makes us unlovable. Maybe it’s something about our bodies, or our gender. Maybe it’s a bad habit we picked up from our parents that we can’t shake, or something from our history that twisted us up in some way that we believe anyone we love, confronted with this fact about us, would be justified in walking away. However you’ve been protecting yourself from this kind of rejection, this month you have to face the ways in which you keep rejecting yourself. If we all have to fall in love with ourselves first, your step this month is to stop being disgusted by whatever it is about you that you feel sets you apart from the rest of humanity as some special oddity or monster. Once you can drop that script, you’ll have a fighting chance to find the love you deserve (hint: it might already be right in front of you).

Capricorn

Expect your relationships to change this month. Some might challenge you to be more honest about who you are now, and what you’d like to become. Some might offer you a space for deep healing and recovery. Some you might need to shed like a snakeskin, freeing yourself to grow. In all your relationships, you’re able to reach a deeper level of truth. Don’t be afraid of the insights that come to you, or the opportunities for renewal and rebirth. Especially during the first few weeks of February, welcome situations that offer you a new perspective, and don’t start planning your next steps till the end of the month.

Aquarius

It’s your birthday month, but it might still feel like the old year is weighing on you. With Venus and Mercury lingering in Capricorn this month, you’ve got some unfinished business that will mean being extra careful that you’re communicating clearly in relationships, and specifically that you understand your own needs first. It’s okay to use this month as an extended solo birthday retreat: spend as much time as you can regathering and regrouping. If you’ve taken on too much, take a breather. Go over the changes since your last birthday, and honor the challenges you’ve met and the decisions you’ve made. On the 17th, when Venus moves into your sign, you might feel ready to welcome select friends and lovers back into the warm glow of your presence. Until then, don’t be afraid to recharge alone.

Pisces

Mature love, for you, means tapping into that innate generosity you have and finding a way to share it without draining you. With Venus in Capricorn this month, you’ll benefit from acts of practical idealism; tapping into your capacity for compassion and offer it to folks you’re inspired by in a sustainable way. This means understanding what it means for you to do something consistently. What small thing can you commit to doing on a regular basis? How can you honor your need for chaos and freedom while also agreeing to some kind of schedule? Who really gets you, and can help you share your talents with the world in measured, steady, and responsible ways?

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