Real L Word 3 Is Casting: Why Read the Recaps When You Could Be IN THEM?!!!

Posted byriese

on November 10, 2011

I'm not sure if any of you dear readers are completely fucking insane and/or innocently optimistic, but on the off-chance that you indeed are fucking insane, we have a prime opportunity for you relating to The Real L Word, according to approx 54 emails I received today on this topic.

The casting team is looking for women "on both coasts" which includes Los Angeles AND New York. You should have an "engaging story to tell" (ideally it should involve a dildo and a feather earring).

Email: [email protected] with your name, phone number, and a paragraph about yourself. The subject line of the email should be REAL L WORD 3 with your city and state.

Anyhow, feel free to pitch me on why you should star in the recaps next year. Keep in mind that my favorite thing to ever happen on The Real L Word was the fight about whether or not Claire was a Deb. So more of that, please.

Also, obviously, more of this:

best product placement of all time

49 responses to “Real L Word 3 Is Casting: Why Read the Recaps When You Could Be IN THEM?!!!”

cait-o (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:01 pm Permalink Reply Report user

bahaha.
i.can’t.even.

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AG (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:08 pm Permalink Reply Report user

i do not understand what is happening

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Nicolette
November 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm Permalink Reply

Ilene Chaiken is basically the worst.

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Intern Grace (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:13 pm Permalink Reply

I mostly just want the season to start so that it can end.

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1. riese (member)
  November 10, 2011 at 6:56 pm Permalink Reply
  
  amen
  
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  1. mkr (member)
    November 11, 2011 at 3:13 am Permalink Reply Report user
    
    I’m pretty sure St. Jude candles light spontaneously on the nights of this show.
    
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    1. Barbara Grace Baione
      March 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm Permalink Reply
      
      I’am not sure why u brought up a saint but that is the name of the school i went to .
      
      Anyway I always enjoy “The Real L Word”!!!!!!!!!!!
      
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Po (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm Permalink Reply Report user

but will we get free autostraddle tees if we do this is my question

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Nina (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Riese, I think you should do this.

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Mari (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:27 pm Permalink Reply Report user

but what if autostraddle had a plant on the show, subverting ilene’s reign of horror from the inside? i would support those machinations.

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Ash (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:33 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Magical Elves had an open casting call for some reality TV thing at my college. I don’t know if anyone ever tried out. Everyone I knew in the illustration and animation departments were just annoyed as fuck there’d be cameras around and someone thought Art School was something ‘edgy’ and ‘interesting’ the masses would find entertaining.
ie.
“Look at those art school kids! They’re so wacky and edgy and avant gard! Isn’t is CRAZY some people are like that?! Let’s follow them on their journey to become professionals!”
ILL&ANM: No, we’re not your entertainment. Get the fuck away from us.

I feel like RWLW is the same thing, just my sexuality/queer culture instead of my career.

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DPreezy (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Watching this show made my IQ drop 70 points.

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terracottatoes (member)
November 10, 2011 at 6:49 pm Permalink Reply Report user

my favorite part about this is that were any of us to go on, anything remotely smart that person would have to say (i.e. anything that doesn’t resemble the typical heresy going on) would be edited out to entirely negate the existence of dissent

that being said, i agree with Mari above: i want some subtle irl trolling for the lulz on this show so bad

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Caitlin
November 10, 2011 at 6:57 pm Permalink Reply

do people use the term deb irl?

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1. Jamie (member)
  November 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Not this people. Nevertheless, great scene.
  
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2. fitforafemme (member)
  November 10, 2011 at 8:23 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  I do NOW.
  
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  1. riese (member)
    November 10, 2011 at 8:50 pm Permalink Reply
    
    yes, what fit for a femme said
    
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3. Paper0Flowers (member)
  November 13, 2011 at 2:01 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  I totally do. I have a vocabulary of AS-inspired quips.
  
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  1. discospider (member)
    November 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    It’s true, she does.
    
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Nomad (member)
November 10, 2011 at 7:02 pm Permalink Reply Report user

“Keep in mind that my favorite thing to ever happen on The Real L Word was the fight about whether or not Claire was a Deb. So more of that, please.”

THIS.

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Ami (member)
November 10, 2011 at 7:38 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I WANT TO MOVE TO AMERICA RIGHT NOW SO I CAN BE ON THE SHOW AHHHHHHHHH

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1. Carmyn
  September 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm Permalink Reply
  
  You should totally move to America and do the show! I wanna do it so bad!!!
  
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Deleting this soon! (member)
November 10, 2011 at 8:21 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Sorry but my life is not a TV show, If it was, I would be on the Bad Girls Club, not the Real L Word! Booya!

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Alex
November 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm Permalink Reply

How did Finn get on this show???

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Mary (member)
November 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I DON’T KNOW WHAT A DEB IS!! I’m yelling bc I’m insecure about not knowing. somebody help.

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1. terracottatoes (member)
  November 10, 2011 at 9:35 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  from what i understand (and, caveat, my translation from drunk-shouting might not be exact)
  
  deb (n) [colloq]: a combination of someone who thinks they are better than everyone else (see txt citation 1.348 claire re: rest of trlw season 2 cast “y’all are fake and crazy”) and in so being, kind of makes the group depressed or shitty or rife with conflict (possible debbie downer etymology) See also: IFC.
  
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JuliaOA (member)
November 10, 2011 at 10:23 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I thought about auditioning and then I realized that eating cheez-its in my bed is probably not something that makes good tv. Darn.

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KayBee (member)
November 10, 2011 at 10:49 pm Permalink Reply Report user

“You should have an “engaging story to tell” (ideally it should involve a dildo and a feather earring).”

… or if your life involves in any way SPERM SPERM SEMEN PENIS SPERM SPERM SPERM EJACULATE STRAIGHTS INTERCOURSE SPERM SPERM PENIS INSEMINATION REAL PENIS FAKE PENIS SPERM SEMEN SPERM SPERM

sorry, I was just really scarred.

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1. Mary (member)
  November 10, 2011 at 11:43 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  we all were. and I only saw one episode.
  
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Ariel
November 11, 2011 at 12:30 am Permalink Reply

awww, I live in Kansas =(. and in case you’re wondering this place sucks ass!

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roszs (member)
November 11, 2011 at 4:44 am Permalink Reply Report user

It upsets me that I will watch every episode of this show, even though I don’t want to and it will eat up time that could be better utilised in learning a new skill, or doing charity work, or poking my eyes out with a fork.

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Carmen (member)
November 11, 2011 at 8:14 am Permalink Reply Report user

i want to be on the real l word is that ok

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1. RIley
  November 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm Permalink Reply
  
  Carmen I would love it if you were on this show. Educate the lesbos about consent issues! Talk about Ilene Myles! <3
  
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  1. mkr (member)
    November 11, 2011 at 4:17 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    yes, talk about llene Myles. I want to see what Intern Grace does with pics Riese requests of responses of the cast.
    
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Alley
November 11, 2011 at 11:07 am Permalink Reply

I am a Portlander through and through and perhaps crazy but never enough to be on his show but can we nominate Angelinos?! I nominate Gina Young (team Gina, other performance), Erica brown, Vera Domini (dj automaton). And new Yorkers? So many there I’ll have to think about it…

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Denbo is my HomeGirl (member)
November 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm Permalink Reply Report user

“You should have an “engaging story to tell” (ideally it should involve a dildo and a feather earring).”
… or if your life involves in any way:

LA FASHION WEEK LA FASHION WEEK LA FASHION YOU GUYS DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS A WEEK? OF FASHION? IN LA? LA MUTHAFUCKIN FASHION WEEK!

I would watch the 3rd season if it was acted out with popsicle sticks, glue-on googly eyes, and a feather earring.

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1. Julie (member)
  November 11, 2011 at 2:33 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Now I really want to do a quick 1-minute recap of season two using popsicle sticks, glue-on googly eyes, and a feather earring.
  
  It would be fantastical.
  
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autolurker
November 11, 2011 at 2:49 pm Permalink Reply

Could there ever be a lesbian tv show that’s not about narcissists from either New York or LA? Or does Ilene Chaiken only write autobiographies these days?

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1. lyricmelody (member)
  November 13, 2011 at 11:58 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  hey, hey, hey, we’re not all narcissists. (nyc girl, here) but then again, who do you think this type of show is most likely to attract? and do you think ilene is going to cast well-adjusted, non egotistical people with little drama on her show? i mean why else would they have cast someone as ridiculous as claire?
  
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angry
November 11, 2011 at 8:18 pm Permalink Reply

I stopped watching the show because i honestly don’t like LA or the kind of people it attracts. :/

anything else good coming on?

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magiclovemuffin (member)
November 11, 2011 at 10:04 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Everything about this post amused me.

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Amber
November 12, 2011 at 5:08 pm Permalink Reply

Not that crazy, bwhaha..But I can’t wait for season 3 squee!!

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Suburban Soulgirl (member)
November 13, 2011 at 11:05 am Permalink Reply Report user

no.

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Majesta (member)
November 13, 2011 at 12:54 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Chaiken should just have her own network. It’d be like Oprah’s network, but gay(er).
Besides those wonderful, accurate shows that she’s already produced, it could feature other totally awesome, non-gag worthy concepts like “Glee-sbians: a reality tv show about a glee club of real lesbians from LA.”

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lyricmelody (member)
November 13, 2011 at 11:52 pm Permalink Reply Report user

i met this crazy chick who said she wanted to audition for the show in ny. she also said she wouldn’t be afraid of having sex on tv…which is the number one criteria that ilene has for casting, so she probably has a good shot, lol. who knows? autostraddle may soon have an nyc version of whitney their hands. i’d love to see the recaps you’d come up with for HER, lol.

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krizzlebizzle
November 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm Permalink Reply

is it bad that I emailed them? …I have no shame… (yes I do)

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Luna (member)
November 15, 2011 at 5:59 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Meh, my 30 seconds at the beginning along with Franny and Michelle at a mysterious photo shoot was enough TRLW for meeee.

I wonder, Robin did you get a check for all that work and hassle you went through during the shoot?

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Dana (member)
November 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm Permalink Reply Report user

She’s def a DEB!!

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Lexy
December 9, 2011 at 1:17 am Permalink Reply

Ok, does anyone else think that kacy looks like she could be Kristen Stewart’s butch twin? Just wondering cause i think they look a lot alike!

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