Comments on: NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Hold Your Hand

By: mycelia

mycelia — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 07:55:19 +0000

i have nothing but contempt for anyone who would suggest someone stop their meds for any reason other than that person’s wellbeing. orgasms to sate another person’s ego do not count. there are actual decent people out there and i hope that, if you decide to try again, you find them.

also i actually didn’t know that anti-depressants can affect orgasms but wow that explains a lot.

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 05:34:39 +0000

No worthwhile human being would tell you to get off of your anti-depressants for the sake of their ego. That sounds horrible, and I am so so sorry. I promise you that you are not the only one who has difficulties orgasming and I hope that the bad experiences you’ve had don’t make you give up.

By: Trombonist

Trombonist — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 05:01:51 +0000

The woman in the first pic. Her everything is perfect. THOSE MUSCLES. Love.

By: DB

DB — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 00:49:24 +0000

I get annoyed by the “orgasm-free sex” articles. They say you don’t always have to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. I believe that, and every partner I’ve had says they agrees with it too. The problem is that NO ONE LIVES IT! I can’t orgasm very easily because of being on anti-depressants (known side-effect). I tell my partners up front and they say they’re ok with it. But when I really don’t orgasm it blows their ego. The worst part is that EVERY partner I’ve had immediately says that I need to get off my anti-depressants. Don’t you think I would if I could? It makes me feel like I can’t live up to their expectations. If I miss even one dose I become a bawling, blubbering, suicidal blob on the couch. Then I REALLY don’t feel like sex! I love sex and enjoy the closeness and everything else. I don’t care if I don’t orgasm, but it seems like everyone else out there does. After the last time a couple months ago of letting someone down I just no longer feel like bothering with sex if people are just going to judge me.

By: Grace_B

Grace_B — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:17:15 +0000

That woman in the pink dress and thigh highs is SO. CUTE.

By: Maria

Maria — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:01:23 +0000

yes, thank you. not having an orgasm doesn’t mean that people don’t enjoy sex, and that there are plenty of other reasons to have or not have casual sex.
I, for one, never had casual sex to have an orgasm.

Especially when it comes to one-night-stands and casual sex in general I think it can get really bad when people focus on orgasms too much rather than just having fun.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:30:59 +0000

OMG: the “vaginal rejuvenation” article! That’s just… I don’t know. Ugh.

By: amanda

amanda — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 05:05:28 +0000

yes i agree, that article didn’t take the turn i was hoping it would take. particularly the list of reasons a person would have a casual sexual encounter when they don’t expect to come seemed sad.
i have enjoyed my few casual encounters, and i know going in that it won’t lead to orgasm for me, so i just enjoy the experience without expecting that. partners have had varying responses.
and i still have a spring in my step the following day.

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:31:56 +0000

Also part of the “orgasm-free casual sex” club. Casual sex is fun, more people need to know that an orgasm isn’t an endgame for a lot of people. Casual sex becomes disappointing when a partner is so absorbed in the idea of orgasm being the ultimate sense of achievement that they don’t listen to or respect what I tell them about it’s unimportance to my sexual satisfaction in casual encounters. It’s emotionally draining when the sex becomes a challenge or a chore and afterwards I have to convince their ego that my (lack of)orgasm has nothing to do with their prowess, ultimately making me feel self conscious about the way my mind and body behave.

By: Rachael

Rachael — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:59:14 +0000

No, because the brain glosses right over the word “said.” It becomes like punctuation. The occasional substitution is okay, when it’s really tricky to convey the right tone without resorting to clunky adverbs, but in general you don’t want your characters whispering and murmuring every damn line for three books. You can also mix up “she said” with some action that doesn’t require attribution tags. You just have to make sure that only one character does action per line/paragraph (otherwise it’s a mess). For instance:

Character slid the book across the table. “So I don’t need dialogue tags for this?”

Other character shrugged. “How should I know?”

By: PatsBard

PatsBard — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 22:41:39 +0000

But but but…if you don’t use substitutions for “said”, there’ll be lots of repetition! (she exclaimed)

By: Erin

Erin — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 22:38:51 +0000

As part of the “orgasm-free casual sex” club, I have to say that sex is about a lot more than just orgasm. And the article SEEMED to bill itself as a meditation on the reasons to have casual sex without much of a possibility of orgasm. But I was a little disappointed by the article’s conclusion:

“And casual sex can be fun. But it can also be disappointing and ironically emotionally draining. And sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t be better off having casual sex with a vibrator and getting a dog to cuddle with.”

Basically the article turned from a conversation to the meaning of sex without orgasm into a conversation about being disappointed by casual sex. Which I thought was sad. I feel like we don’t have enough conversations about the “orgasm gap” and it’s a topic worth discussing. Sex IS about a lot more than just orgasms and (to me) the article ironically seemed to suggest that sex is less valuable without an orgasm.