NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Has A Lot of Feelings, Needs Your Advice

SEX ADVICE:

Laneia and Riese often receive sex-related questions in their “formspring account” which we cannot answer because we are virgins and we think sex is gross. But you guys seem to like it a lot. So, we’re asking for you to give advice to all these ladies out there on the internet who have questions about getting TOTES NEKKID?

Answer the questions in the comments if you have advice! It’s fun, it’s like you have your very own formpsring account.

1. So my girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 months. Neither of us has ever gone down on someone before. I really want to go down on her, and I just spent like 20 minutes reading articles for tips. I was wondering if you had any advice for me?

2. I faked an orgasm. How do I deal with the fact that my new lady friend can’t get me off?

3. Am I breaking out from eating out my girlfriend? Can cum block your pores?

4. If Self improvement is masturbation , does that make masturbation Self improvement ?

5. How do they film sex scenes in movies/tv when you SEE their hand go down the front of the other girl’s undies?? how do they avoid accidental fingerbanging? or like on lip service, where (spoiler) frankie and cat are basically scissoring TOTES NEKKID??

6. You mentioned earlier sex after lots of boxed wine. My straight housemate and I had sex after splitting 3 litres of wine. She was really good, and we both came. What are the chances she’s really straight. Doesn’t matter does it? Also, how unsmart is house-cest?

7. I’m pansexual polyamorous. People tell me it’s just a phase I’m going through and a nineteen-year-old doesn’t know what she really wants.

8. I have a gay guy friend who gets handsy with girls when he’s drunk. He’s so pretty. Can we make out from time to time just for funsiez? Or is that a bad idea?

9. If someone told you that sex with girls is the same ‘emotionally’ as with men but is ‘physically a lot more’ what would your response be? I personally find it incredibly belittling.

10. I have really tiny fingers, Riese. REALLY TINY. I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to hit a girl’s g-spot the right way. is this possible?? can my fingers by THAT tiny???

11. I’m a lesbian and I watch gay male porn and actually get turned on..i don’t think that’s normal. What do you think?

12. I’m 18, lesbian, never been kissed. I’m going to get braces soon. Do you think I will get a less than awesome first kiss experience with braces? :(

13. I have never had an orgasm and I try all the time and sometimes I worry I’m asexual but then I look at girls and it makes me happier and do you have any words that might make me feel okay?

14. What was your first time like?

15. I think my boobs are weird even though when I look at it objectively they look exactly like everyone else’s but then when I look in the mirror I’m like “what the hell?” is that normal?

16. How do I secure a friends-with-benefits status with someone? All the girls I go out with want relationships.

17. I was supposed to be studying for my test. You know what I did instead? I watched porn. Porn of all things! I didn’t do awful on my test but I didn’t do as good as I wanted to. How can I keep my mind out of the gutter?

MORE QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO ANSWER:

What is your sexual personality?, asks Fox News. Mine is Foxy, just saying.

ADULT SEX:

Five Reasons We’re Having Better Sex Than Our Parents! I think one of them is safe sex, I forget the others, maybe because our parents were having boring old heterosexual union sex, the kind all those church people like.

SUGARBUTCH IS HAVING A PARTY:

Wanna have a queer porn watching party on twitter? Obvs.

IDIOTS:

New website: BoobsOnlyLesbians.com, catering to a newly invented (by straight men?) breed of boob-loving ladies. Their tagline? “You can touch yourself down there, but I don’t want to.” Which is dumb. I mean, boobs are great, but you can’t call yourself a lesbian if you don’t like vagina.”

PLAYBOY:

“It’s not enough to make the cut to be a Playboy centerfold. Your nipples also have to be the right sort of pointy. Your butt has to have a “better curve.” Enter Photoshop. Here, a rare view into the process” – How Your Playboy Centerfold Sausage Gets Made!

VIBRATORS:

12 Vibrators That Actually Exist! Cornblasters for everyone!

SEXY TUMBLR ALERT:

Fuck Yeah Perfect Dolls: “Perfect dolls have tattoos, piercings and color hair.”

Avatar of Party In My Pants

Party in my Pants is a username employed by various Autostraddle team members at various times for various reasons.

has written 78 articles for us.

78 Comments

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    1. This is going to be great. Stay calm. It is not actually a technique competition. Girls are great, and they taste great, and you get to go down on a girl you like — what isn’t great about this?

    I would say, for this first time, forget about coming or making her come or anything like that, because that kind of pressure is going to kill the fun. Just go and explore and see what she seems to like and go from there. A good way to find out whether she is liking what you’re doing is to ask if you’re not sure. If she is fisting her fingers through your hair and pushing your head down harder probably she likes it, but that might take a while to happen. Also it may seem obvious but honestly it took me TOO LONG to figure out — you can be fingerbanging her at the same time. That’s pretty much always great.

    10. I have had someone “hit my g spot” maybe once in my life and it wasn’t any better than other sex. You can still have really really good homosex with tiny fingers I PROMISE. That isn’t even a thing I consider when there are fun times ahead.

    12. No, I think it is going to be just as perfect or messy or fun or ridiculous as it would have been otherwise. These things have a way of working themselves out. I don’t even remember my first kiss, but I remember so many that came after.

    13. Anorgasmia can be a side-effect of some drugs or a symptom of some conditions, so maybe think about taking this issue to your doctor. Assuming it is not a medical thing:

    When you say ‘I try all the time’ I assume you have tried all the usual advice so let me say this: orgasms can be the hardest thing in the world to have when you are trying to have them. When I was about 15 I knew _something_ was happening but it didn’t seem anything like as enjoyable/intense as I was being told an orgasm should be and I got this whole complex like “WHAT IF I NEVER ORGASM PROPERLY” and it was all really stressful.

    What you need to do is forget all that. Enjoy touching yourself. Enjoy other people touching you. If something is happening that feels really good be like “oh yes fuck keep doing that”, and maybe you will come, or maybe it will just feel really fucking good, and that would be okay too. It took me ages to relax into sex enough to start actually having what I thought of as ‘real’ orgasms. It is an organic process. Relax and it might happen; stay stressed about it and it definitely won’t. And great sex without an orgasm is still great.

    15. So normal. I bet they are gorgeous.

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      1. Thirded that this is great advice. Going down on a girl is awesome. And communication is absolute key. Read her body language, ask her questions — which can be TOTALLY HOT. You’ll be going at it and she’ll be like, “OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING” and you’ll stop and pull away and smirk at her like a cocky bitch (which is totally irresistible in bed) and go, “You sure this is amazing, baby?” and she’ll look at you with huge eyes and go, “WHY WOULD YOU STOP??????” and you’ll feel all self-satisfied and smug and continue going down on her.

      Also, Temporarily anon is right. Don’t worry about orgasming. I can tell you that it took my girl five weeks (FIVE WEEKS) to make me come. We were both freaking out about it for a while, but it was pretty awesome when it finally happened and we were like giggly balls of relief. So, really, don’t worry. If she’s orgasmed with you before, she’ll orgasm with you again. =)

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    11. Gay male porn is SO hot. I think part of why so many lesbians like it is because it seems more real than straight porn and lesbian porn. They seem to really enjoy it, no need for fake screams or unbelieavable scenarios. Plus, gay boys are cute!

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      It was me! I’m glad you think I’m great :). I still need tips though because although I obviously am very fond of going down on my girlfriend, pimples aren’t fun either… (and someone’s got to have had this issue or thought about it, right? right? This does seem so ridiculously Cosmo though. Lesbopolitan? Cosmolesbian? Talking about my pores makes me feel like SUCH a girl)

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        Dermatologist chiming in..Yes, there are a number of reasons why you could be breaking out after oral sex. Most likely your skin is sensitive to your partners vaginal secretions. As un-sexy as it sounds, washing with an oatmeal based cleanser (to soothe skin reaction) as soon after oral sex as you can will reduce the propensity of breakouts..You can also keep a dampened washcloth nearby to “tidy up” as it were..The worst thing you can do is to simply wipe your face with a dry abrasive sheet or blanket..or worse yet..not wipe your face at all..Goodness I sound so boring!

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          Totally not just you! I’ve noticed this pattern as well, and was just whining to my girlfriend about it last week. She didn’t believe me.

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          It’s far more frequent than some realize. Basically it comes down to a PH levels. Vaginal fluid is naturally acidic in order to help keep the vagina clear of infections. This can cause some of the problems you are seeing. I it only happens occasionally however, there are other factors that can change the natural PH level of the fluid..Alcohol being a major one. Some foods are another. Just some things to consider.

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    #2: Communication, baby! When you masturbate, what do you do to get yourself off? Where do you like to be touched? Tell your lady friend so she can do it to you. You don’t have to be mean about it, barking orders and what-not. Actually, this is a conversation that can be super sexy/foreplay.

    #8: It really depends on how close the two of you are. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve kissed many pretty gay boys, but I wasn’t close friends with any of them. It was like, oh, this is Chris, a mutual friend of blah-blah. We see each other at whatever club on so-and-so night and we drink and dance and smooch and then bye! It’s actually pretty fun. I kind of liken the experience to when two straight girls decide to kiss each other just to try it out, and then they’re all giggly and silly and what-not. As long as it won’t be awkward the next time you see each other and you’re both all shifty-eyed and quiet, ya know?

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      How about a follow up to #8–what do you tell your straight friends who are up in arms about a mutual friend who is gay and a boy but sometimes gets drunk and kisses girls. They were all, “He can’t be that gay!”

      I tried, “It’s usually nice to respect people’s self-identification even when it doesn’t make sense to you,” but the only answer I got was, “Geez, I didn’t want to make it a big deal, I was just saying.”

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    can someone help me out, i really need to make a purchasing decision soon. in a way this seems off-topic, but it’s not.

    i’ve never had a laptop, so i’ve always used Logitech keyboards, with high profile/ raised keys. i like the clacking sound. but lately because of my old age (almost 30), i feel my fingers are not as nimble as they seem, no joke, i seriously don’t want to get prematurely arthritic fingers. The past year i have this thing where i always need to crack my finger joints.

    i’ve had the chance to borrow someone’s HP Mini the past month, and my god, the typing experience is so smooth and easy. like my fingers just sail. it’s a laptop, so the keyboard is low-profile (i.e. flat). but since it’s flat, there doesn’t seem to be that much tactile feedback plus it doesn’t have the old school clacking sound i love.

    i’ve read somewhere that raised keyboards that require effort to actually press are actually healthier for your fingers than flat laptop keyboards. but in the few weeks i’ve used the HP Mini, i was wowed by the ease of typing with a flat laptop keyboard.

    can someone enlighten me on what’s best for fingers? thanks.

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    I wanna know th answer to #5, like how would they not bump uglies now and again… Its bound to b embarrassing even if one person is just resting ther hand inside jeans but outside pants, cos I would b soo damp!! It’s like touching a hard on!!

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    #2. If she didn’t get you off your first time together DON’T WORRY, first times can be weird. If you’ve been going at it for while, then communication is key, babe. You can’t make every girl come with the same moves (& maybe your lady’s using what worked in the past), so start giving the gf some tips, like tell her when something feels good, guide her toward what feels better, etc. Keep it light & sexy, of course; she just might take offence if it’s obvious you think she’s doing it wrong.
    #3. As far as I know, cum does not block pores. Sweat, on the other hand, can. So, not to get too explicit, but there might be a perspiration situation in a certain area, getting all up on your face? The breakouts could be totally unrelated to your lady, too, hard to tell.
    #6. If you’re going to keep living together, don’t go further. Things could get oh-so weird, doesn’t matter if she’s straight or bi. From personal experience, house-cest is not fun for long.
    #7. You can date/fuck who you want (stay safe though!). You are also free to change your mind any time, doesn’t mean that what happened was “just a phase.”
    #16. There’s no secret recipe for friends-with-benefits. Find a girl who doesn’t want to commit to a relationship either because she’s in love with someone else/isn’t over someone/is somehow emotionally unavailable? I really can’t say that any of that will work out, but it might get you somewhere. Feelings, they tend to get in the way, you know?

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    #13: Don’t worry- there are a million things that could be going on, and none of them are serious or harmful. Do you still like sex/masturbating? Good, then don’t worry about orgasming. I freaked out about for the longest time, thinking I’d never come, but eventually I found out that I’d been coming the entire time, but my body just didn’t know how to process it. Sometimes you have to learn what coming feels like and how to relax into it. Trust me, it takes a little bit of time, but the payoff is peace of mind and one hell of an orgasm.

    And trust me, if you’re trying to orgasm, you’re almost def not asexual. Also, if you’re worried about being asexual, you’re probs not.

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    5. That’s a thing they call Modesty Patches… It’s basically a band-aid over your you know where. Skin colored and edits so you can’t see it….

    7. Who says you can’t be pansexual?? They don’t know me.. :P if you like who you are, fantastic, roll with it. And given that sexuality is fluid, admit the possibility that anything is a phase, maybe you will “grow out of it”… Or you won’t. Either way, don’t waste time, go out and mak some intersexual woman feel very special…

    8. GO FOR IT… All action is good action. However, if it starts affecting you negatively / depressing you, then cut it out…

    12. Yes. I’m sorry love but I have braces too, and I’m lucky I started out with a GF. Some girls will kiss a girl with braces, but it’s less likely. Coming from me, get somebody drunk… I know how depressing braces can be for the first little while and my heart goes out to you.

    13 (or whoever is trying to have an orgasm)… Hey, not being able to have an orgasm is an orgasm disorder. Do you like porn/sex/making out??? Youre not asexual… I have an orgasm disorder nut I deffinitely have great sex… You can too.

    15. The right girl will love ALL THE PARTS… Dont worry about it: you have boobs and they’re hot, run with it…

    17. Watch out, porn is an addiction, and can affect you very negatively… Not saying it’s that way for you, but I had to stop with it all together…

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    1. I don’t know about other girls, but I know that for me consistency is KEY. Pick a plan of action and follow through with it. When you’re getting close to an orgasm and your gf/lover/whatever completely changes the tongue/finger/whatever technique it can sometimes be a little startling, especially if she was really hitting the spot before she changed. Not that the only point is to achieve orgasm (debatable?), but I’m just saying, if it’s eventually going to be your goal to make her cum you might want to find the thing she is responding to the most and stick with it. Someone else already said it, but using hands and tongue at the same time produces great results. Fingers not limited to only the vagina. We have, you know, that other hole and it feels good, too, if you can let go of being self-conscious about it.

    2. Talk to her. Communication is def as important as everyone says it is. Teach each other. Learn from each other.

    3. Do you wash your face afterward? I wash my face a lot.

    4. Depends on what you want to improve. I may or may not have carpal tunnel from various strenuous and repetitive motions.

    8. Just don’t expect anything of it. Don’t do it for the wrong intentions and don’t plan it out.

    10. Unless you’re a baby your fingers can’t be THAT tiny, can they?

    11. It’s totes normal. We’re only human and sex is sex. I’m a lesbian and I practically only watch gay male porn. I agree with petitekarma who said it is more real than any other porn. I would watch real lesbian porn if I could find it for free.

    12. Some people find braces hot. “I, I, I love little girls, they make me feel so… good.”

    15. It’s even more normal than actually liking your boobs, I think. I don’t know people who say they like their boobs, or admit to it.

    16. Feelings are like webs and I don’t know how to not get tangled in them yet.

    17. “Painting a picture, composing an opera, that’s just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass. The minute something better than sex comes along, you call me. Have me paged.” -Chuck Palaniuk, Choke

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    3. Am I breaking out from eating out my girlfriend? Can cum block your pores?
    This really only happened to me once. I think it was the combination of pubic hair burn and the prolonged moisture contact, not some fundamental property of lady fluids.

    16. How do I secure a friends-with-benefits status with someone? All the girls I go out with want relationships.
    You say “hey, I like messing around with/fucking you and enjoying your company, but I don’t want to be in a committed relationship” and you say it EARLY EARLY EARLY.

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      IS A MONTH TOO LATE? I’m currently assuming they feel the same way about the whole thing because they act like it and they know I recently got out of a two year relationship so obviously I wouldn’t want to commit.

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    16. HINT: Friends with benefits is pretty much always a bad idea when the friend is an ex. Especially a recent ex. Don’t try it, even though it may seem like a great idea because the sex is phenomenal and she knows *exactly* where to put her tongue- it is still a very bad idea.

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    This “boobs-only lesbians” thing is weird. I don’t see why not liking to look at vadges makes you different from other lesbians. It seems like looking at them is just one way to enjoy them.
    I’m bisexual, and I don’t like looking at dicks. That doesn’t mean I don’t like them inside me.

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    Answers:

    6. The only thing I’m thinking is that if you’re going to get really drunk before having sex, at least make sure that everyone is still lucid enough to consent. Because that can get really fuzzy when you add alcohol, and you don’t want that.

    7. It’s not necessarily a phase. Some people do prefer nonmonogamous relationships and some people are attracted to multiple genders. If you’re bi or pan, your sexuality CAN fluctuate throughout your life (for example, I was 100% straight in high school, but now I’m pretty equally attracted to men and women) but it won’t necessarily, and that still doesn’t mean that what you’re feeling is “just a phase.” And the fact that you’re 19 has nothing to do with it – pan people come at every age. Also, one thing I’ve noticed is that usually when adults discount your opinions PURELY based on your age, it’s because they know their arguments don’t hold up on their own.

    8. If he’s interested, why not?

    9. It’s probably true for them that sex with girls is more emotionally-satisfying, but that doesn’t mean it will be true for you or anyone else.

    11. The getting-turned-on part isn’t necessarily about the male bodies, it could be a whole host of other things. That being said, I figured out I was bi because The L Word turned me on. You might be a little bit bisexual. But if you’re not interested in dating or having sex with an actual man, if you just like gay porn, it’s up to you if you want to adopt the bi label or continue to identify as lesbian. You don’t have to be 100% sure where you stand.

    15. Boobs come in all shapes and sizes.

    17. If it’s just one time, I wouldn’t stress it. Just remember to study next time, don’t beat yourself up over one mistake. If it’s a pattern, I would see a therapist about how you can learn to cut down your porn-watching when you’re supposed to be studying. I have an Internet addiction problem and I’ve worked with my counselor to create a plan where I record how much I use the Internet and I can’t use sites other than Gmail and Facebook when I have homework to do. I haven’t always followed it to the letter, but it has helped to make me more aware of my Internet use. See if you can do something similar.

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    #1 You have to want it. Know what your goal is and go for it. Give it your all. But most of all enjoy it and be sure she does too.

    #2/13 I thought I’d never have an orgasm. I had actually given up, sex felt good and that was enough for me. But then I read these articles by Betty Dodson; to say the least, it changed my life.

    http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/06/why-women-think-they-cant-orgasm

    http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm

    I’ve been single since reading and putting them to work so I don’t know if it will help when I’m actually with someone but hey I’m happy so far : D

    #3 I had that happen to me. Washing your face right after helps. It could also be from your girlfriend touching and caressing your face.

    #6 Spare yourself the heart break and drama

    #7 Forget the labels and what people expect from you. Do what you want, as long as it makes you happy. I personally identify as a lesbian but I’m smart enough to know I’m young (20) and things change and evolve.

    #8 I’ve had the same question before and I pose you with this one. Do you know where he’s been or who he’s been with? My very sweet, flirty, gay friend is a clique gay guy (sleeps with anything cute) and a night of fun making out is not worth the risk of catching something.

    #10 Small fingers or super human you can still give your girl a great orgasm. Remember that tongue of yours is a mighty small member with lots of power.
    On word of advise is to change it up don’t always use the come hither motion. When she’s really wet and opened up use 1-2 fingers and make circles on the top when inside. Works like a charm ; )

    #11 Who cares what turns you on, as long as it works go with it. For some reason I like straight porn where men get handled. I like hearing then in pain, To each there own, you know

    #12 Last I checked you could kiss with out your teeth so I’m sure you’ll be ok. If you must nibble, just be sure to be very careful. As your future girlfriend wont appreciate being cut by the metal making your smile even more beautiful.

    #14 Not to great considering I don’t remember it. I was never in love with her, I chalk it up to one big learning experience. But the first time with my second girlfriend was amazing. That is a night I will never forget. She liked it rough and I had bruises and bite marks that lasted the next two weeks. I never thought I would like that but damn there’s something to be said about being taken.

    #15 Own em babe. It’s your body and it’s beautiful just as it is. Everyone is different. Different and beautiful. You’ll find someone who wouldn’t want you and especially your boobs any different.

    #16 Umm find a guy lol Seriously your hooking up with lesbians what do you expect?

    #17 Strength and rewards perhaps. Be strong and do what needs to be dne first and then reward yourself with the moans and groans lol I’m so glad I wasn’t sexually active in High School I would never have graduated. I would have been too busy doing other things ; )

    Hope this helps. Have a great day!

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    7. Truth is, you don’t know what you want in a couple of years. Nobody does. That doesn’t mean people shouldn’t respect you for who you are now

    8. If both of you know it’s just for funsies, and you think he is pretty, where is the problem? Why not? You should probably not fall in love with him, but who am I to tell you this?

    9. I would tell them that I think they say this because of their own sexual preferences and they can’t speak on the behalf of everyone and everyone’s sexual experiences and they should put a big „I THINK THAT…“ in front of every statement they make about the differences of straight and queer sex.

    10. Uhm, the G-spot is not hidden somewhere way back in there, you know? Also, it’s not the most important thing. Pleasing someone is way more important than constantly trying to hit some kind of G-spot. If you find it, good for you. If you don’t, you probably made someone happy anyways.

    11. There’s a difference between things you like to watch/ look at and things (people) you want to do. Always keep that in mind, and enjoy your gay male porn.

    13. I can’t tell you if you’re asexual or not. Do you like girls and having sex with girls?

    This is really, really personal for me – but I think I have or had the same problem. (“problem”) Don’t let people tell you that you have to orgasm. Don’t lie about it to whoever you are sleeping with. Just keep enjoying the things you like. Maybe it’s a condition, maybe it’s not, I don’t know because I stopped caring so much (and the sex got better and better). I don’t have a cure or really good tips and I don’t know what to call this, but all I can say is no, it doesn’t mean you’re asexual and no, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Eventually you will have orgasms one day – or you won’t. I don’t know how it’s going to be for myself either, but I am so, so sure that I enjoy sleeping with women.

    14. Weird, great, nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it would be: already in a relationship with girlfriend, romantic, cuddly. It turned out to be a hook-up with a fellow traveller. That doesn’t sound too romantic but it was very intense and the whole evening/night is worth remembering. I knew what I was doing, but I kinda didn’t at the same time. Plus there was no bed or anything like a bed. We just went for it, and I’m glad we did.

    15. Stop look into the mirror. Your boobs are probably perfect, because boobs are just one of the most awesome things. Also, touching is better than looking at them. I am serious about that one!

    16. Don’t sleep with girls who want a relationship if you only want to have sex with them, and be clear about your intentions. End of message.

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    #9: Well, that depends. If I was in LOVE with someone, or even just feeling generally squishy about them, I wouldn’t want to hear that having sex with me was emotionally, for them, about the same as screwing anyone else–especially a dude, because, you know, I am a (lesbian) human being and therefore have feelings and insecurities. I want to feel special. I want to feel like we both (me and real/hypothetical girls) feel special about each other in ALL THE WAYS.

    On the other hand, if it were just some girl shooting the shit about sex with me, some friend of some other person, I can’t say I see anything belittling about it. It comes down to the being a human being, again, for me. Humans establish emotional connections with each other, and intimacy can be intense and beautiful pretty much anytime we let ourselves go there, if the other person is going there too (and sometimes even when they’re not! We’ve all been there, yeah?). But what gets us off just gets us off–it just does. Magic. Sounds like your friend sometimes has sex with people because of how she feels about them emotionally, but that girls are more likely to really turn her on. So there’s this: she likes fucking you, but emotionally, thats going to partly depend on you and you alone–which at least means there’s room there for bein special.

    As there was no context to this, I’m doing guess work. You at least have more information. I mean, is this just a hypothetical question? I have no idea!

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    #13 I kind of read this different from everyone else. Everyone else kind of focused on the orgasm part, but I kind of see something different. Dear #13, you could be depressed. You could need medication and/or counseling. Maybe you find it hard to interact with girls because you have no idea why anyone would ever be interested in you; that yeah, that girl likes you but there’s no way that she would LIKE YOU, like you. She doesn’t really want you to call, she was just being nice, she was just saying that because all your friends were around and she didn’t want to embarrass you; It’s not a big deal because when you meet the right person all that nervousness/fear will go away. I hope for you it does, but what if it doesn’t? Medication can be scary because then it’s like, official that something is wrong with you. Counseling is scary because it’s like THOUGHTS/FEELINGS/EMOTIONS IDONOTDOTHISSHIT and you (read: I) am an emotionless boulder, but would you rather be messed up alone or messed up NOT alone? Maybe that isn’t you, I hope it’s not, ’cause it sucks to learn the hard way that those anxious/scary/nervous feelings do not go away when you do in fact, meet an awesome person.

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    Yay #11! I can identify with this, and I think that another reason lesbians tend to like gay male porn is that it doesn’t mean we have to watch women getting demeaned, hurt, etc. whatever. Personally, nothing turns me off like watching a cute girl with a pained/bored face pretending to enjoy getting ramrodded by some doofus who’s saying stupid things to her like, “Yeah, take it…”

    Anyway, I think it’s totally normal, and actually kind of awesome, because gayboys rule and anything that involves them is automatically way better than anything that does not involve them. But maybe that’s just me.

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    1. Slightly graphic tips, but here goes. When I first went down on a girl I didn’t have much tongue stamina, I could only use my tongue for short periods, so I would suggest to keep a hand around there for tongue rest times. Also, sucking on her clit, doesn’t strain your tongue, so you can use that to keep it continuous. Make sure you go around everything down there, inner thighs included. So, if you’re a bit out of breath or what ever, just move your head away and kiss down her inner thigh. It will be amazing and you will love it. Make sure you help each other out, don’t be afraid to say to one another what feels good and if something doesn’t feel so good. Relax is the biggest thing, make sure you are both comfortable with what is happening and just go for it!

    Oh, and breathe through your mouth.

    2. Faking one orgasm is not a huge thing. Did you direct her a bit whilst she was banging you, did you say what felt nice and what was not really doing it for you, even guiding her hand or something like that. Everyone likes different things and it can take time in a relationship to adjust yourself to how your new partner likes it.

    3. Anything can block your pores really, start washing with a cleanser a bit after coitus, if it still comes up it is probably pube or skin burn.

    4. Yes. I am a huge advocate in the plusses of masturbation. I even think large companies should give masturbation breaks to relax their workers and clear their head to the work at hand. Okay, so, maybe not that far, but as long as you aren’t running away from your friends to lock yourself in a bathroom to do it, it’s effin-a.

    5. Sideless snap on bottoms things I know they use in a few movies for butt nekkid stuffs. But, if you only see if go down the underwear, probably a second smaller pair of underwear like a low rise g string, it is ususally incredibly simple things. Like even a big piece of fabric stuck with medi tape with cotton wool underneath like my friends university media project. You couldn’t see a thing and it looked incredibly real.

    6. House-cest is very unsmart. Very very very. But, if you really like her and after a discussion she feels the same way, you could always move if it goes tits up. I think relocating is a small price to pay instead of constant ‘what ifs’.

    7. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. And I am nineteen too and I think it sucks when people tell you what you are thinking but I have no clue what I really want so I hate to say it, but I don’t think anyone our age really truly knows what they want in their future. At 19 you do want various sexual experiences (in the uk age of consent is 16 and at 17 I was standing there saying I would never be in a fully monogamous relationship, now I am 19, almost 20 and have been in 2 fully monogamous relationships each over 6 months.) so don’t put yourself in a box so soon, just say, I like people and I like spending time with lots of different people at the moment.

    8. Funzies making out is all good as long as both parties know it is just funzies making out.

    9. My response would probabaly be some utter filth like ‘Okay, well, how about I bang you and show you what you are missing out on *insert partonising fingers to make speech marks* ‘physically’. Usually gets my point across.

    10. I had a girlfriend with tiny fingers and hands! It was actually lush because she was the first and only girl I have ever been able to try fisting with, which I loved. So, get a girl into fisting! Plus, the whole gspot thing is over rated, like 80% of women can’t find their own, so don’t worry about it, the most intense orgasms come from the clitoris in women anyway.

    11. From reading the comments, aparently very normal, you are one of a large bunch. Personally, I like amateur porn, straight, gay, lesbian, whatever, you just lose that whole porn star stuff, which I hate.

    12. Not at all, I have kissed girls with braces and I couldn’t feel anything different. You just can’t get uber rough incase the braces catch on the inside of your lip and cause you to bleed. Plus, everyones first kiss kinda sucks anyway.

    13. Have you tried toys, rubs, etc to help you orgasm? Maybe expanding what you use to pleasure yourself will help you. My mother once told me a slightly disturbing story over my 17th birthday dinner table about a friend of hers who could only ever orgasm using a rampant rabbit, her husband never made her, her lover never made her, she couldn’t even make herself, only the rabbit could. I don’t know how common it is, but if it is upsetting you a lot you could talk to an an advisor at your local GUM clinic.

    14. Kinda crappy. She was my first love and I, like a douche, broke her heart. We were just 15, like literally 2 weeks after her birthday which was 2 weeks after mine. We were just all tentative and holding back and not talking and not wanting to make much noise. But, it got better, much better incredibly quickly.

    15. I think my boobs are weird too, they used to be huge bdonkadonk type things then I lost weight and they are like empty sacks, but I have never had any complaints. It’s about having the confidence to go ‘y’know what, I am frickin gorgeous’. Most peoples boobs are VERY different when they take that bra off anyway. And I don’t think I have ever met someone 100% happy with their natural breasts, we all have hangups, just don’t let it overtake you.

    16. You make sure you tell them on like the first date, just say you aren’t ready for a comitted relationship at the moment. If they are okay with that, then good. Just don’t mislead people.

    17. If you are really finding it a struggle (porn is seen as an addiction nowadays), make sure all of your study aids are printed off. Turn off the computer/laptop/whatevs and move away from anywhere you can watch porn for those 2 hours. Revise. Work hard, then, you can do whatever you like. If it is impacting on your life a lot, google porn addiction and there are a few forums and stuff for other people struggling with it.

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    2. I faked an orgasm. How do I deal with the fact that my new lady friend can’t get me off?

    EITHER DON’T EXPECT HER TO GET YOU OFF – OR LEAVE HER

    4. If Self improvement is masturbation , does that make masturbation Self improvement ?

    OBVS

    11. I’m a lesbian and I watch gay male porn and actually get turned on..i don’t think that’s normal. What do you think?

    MOST NORMALEST THING IN THE WORLD

    13. I have never had an orgasm and I try all the time and sometimes I worry I’m asexual but then I look at girls and it makes me happier and do you have any words that might make me feel okay?

    STOP TRYING AND ENJOY WHAT YOU CAN ENJOY. Having an orgasm is just one form of enjoyment. Find a girl that enjoys the same things you enjoy, or at least one you have fun together with, in some way.

    17. I was supposed to be studying for my test. You know what I did instead? I watched porn. Porn of all things! I didn’t do awful on my test but I didn’t do as good as I wanted to. How can I keep my mind out of the gutter?

    WATCH MORE PORN

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    1. Just lick it? I guess I’m bad at advice. Seriously I’m sure whatever you do with blow her mind, honestly. I remember the first time someone went down on me… literally amazing, and she didnt know what she was doing either. Take all the great advice from people here and just relax. You’ll be fine.

    11. NO WAY! I watch it too!

    14. I was so shy my first time, afterwards I hid under the blankets until she pulled me out and told me it was beautiful.

    15. Mine are really big. I try not to worry about them, and figure no one will notice if I’m not freaking out about them.

    17. Seriously, every time I sit down to do something really important (ie study, write, read) I end up watching porn, ha, the gay kind. and THEN I can focus. Maybe you should do the porn thing (and whatever accompanies that) and then study. Just sayen.

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    #1 Both of you take shower together beforehand and RELAX and ENJOY!
    #3 No way.
    #6 Not smart
    #9 For some women it is both emotionally and physically a lot more
    #10 Learn to knuckle fuck or fist. Small hands are great for that
    #13 I don’t know how old you are but I didn’t have an orgasm until mid 20′s.Don’t feel bad at all. Experiment. I enjoyed sex very much though and eventually with vibrators and the right hands I learned
    #14 First kiss I was shocked – I kissed so long I forgot to breathe. Making love was dreamy and wonderful. I was very in love
    #17 Funny. Watch porn as your treat after you finish studying.

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    1. My first time I did to her what I liked done to me and it worked! WIN!

    2. NEW ladyfriends have to figure each other out. Don’t stress. Communicate what feels good when it feels good.
    3. wipe the cum off. Wash your face. moisturizer.
    4. yes
    5. they don’t avoid the accidental fingerbang. It’s one of the perks. you either get to fingerbang, or you get a free pass to the front of the catering table. I’m assuming.

    6. No, doesn’t matter if you both had fun. Also house-cest is probably a horrible idea. BUt i’ll bet it was FUN!
    7. That’s nice.
    8. make out. As long as you both know it’s just for fun.
    9. “your mom is the same as sex with men emotionally.”
    10. The G spot isn’t that far inside. If your fingers are long enough to adequately operate a pencil you should be fine. PLUS if your fingers are that small your hands are probably equally small giving you a huge advantage when you fist a girl. WIN FOR YOU!
    11. Agreed, gay porn is way hot.
    12. Kissing is with your lips. You should be fine.
    13. Chill the hell out and enjoy the ride.
    14. AWESOME! I bagged the straight girl I was madly in love with (ya’ll know the girl…) and she said “holy crap where did you learn to do THAT!” Excellent!
    15. I’m sure your boobs are awesome.
    16. I have no idea…
    17. You can’t keep it out of the gutter. You just gotta get it all out. THen you can focus.

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    Hey guys,
    this is the poster of number 6. It happened a loong time ago and as an update things were fine for a while, but a sly friend of her’s figured it out, the situation exploded, she’s trying to ruin my life and having a breakdown.
    I`m moving the fuck out and ex-communicating her ASAP.

    THE MORAL OF THIS STORY: House-cest really isn`t a good call. But I knew that since the beginning.

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    Some questions:
    Is it normal to not like porn? It just doesn’t do anything for me. I actually feel really awkward watching it.

    I can orgasm/cum with my mind, just by thinking. And most of the time I don’t mean to. Is there a way to control my body when my mind is in the gutter?

    Also, if I have a really strong orgasm I’ll end up having a kind of after shock orgasm as soon as a minute later. Even if no one is touching me. Does anyone else have this and/or know why it happens?

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    1. Eat ice cream. Or an orange. Now try it on her
    2 Relax and direct her.
    3. Maybe wash your face after you go down on her?
    4. Yes.
    5. With professionalism?
    6. House-cest is a horrible idea. Go for it, but don’t be too persistent/pesky.
    7. Who cares what people think?
    8. As long as you’re both okay with it?
    9. I’d make a joke about their mom.
    10. You’ll find it, practice makes perfect. Try different positions where you can maneuver your fingers deeper into her.
    11. …I really have no idea.
    12. There’ll be tons of first kisses ahead for you, don’t fret too much.
    13. Relax, close your eyes and think of the hottest thing in bed you can think of.
    14. A bit awkward, a bit fun, smiles all around.
    15. You’re entitled to your feelings about your own boobies.
    16. Find like minded girls, it shouldn’t be too hard…Go up to a girl at a party and start dancing/talking to her, go to her place and leave before the morning. Don’t go around breaking people’s hearts though.
    17. When you figure out how, please let me know.

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    “I mean, boobs are great, but you can’t call yourself a lesbian if you don’t like vagina.”

    Although I don’t necessarily agree with the site, I pretty fully disagree with this statement. This seems to label the whole lesbian identity as simply about sex. For me, the sex – the attraction – although mightily important, is nothing compared to my emotional response to women over men. THAT is what I find really makes me a lesbian. Can the same idea be said about straight people? If a girl doesn’t enjoy giving a blow job, she’s not straight? Or if a man doesn’t enjoy foreplay he must be gay? I don’t know, but it’s something worth thinking about.

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    #13: It could just be the case of expecting a lot from it, and that putting you off, but as an bi/homo-romantic asexual myself, it could be that you’re somewhere on the demi/grey-a/asexual spectrum, but if you’re attracted to girls in a sexual way you probably aren’t.
    The whole thing of asexuality is the ATTRACTION, and whether or not people stir your sexual desire, rather than your enjoyment of sex. Cause I’ve still got a sex drive, a libido, some sex-positive asexuals can really love sex as much as any sexual person, just they don’t feel the active attraction towards them

    I’m attracted to girls in terms of sensual, aesthetic and romantic attraction, I don’t feel the desire to have sex with girls, my girlfriend is demi and we’ve not talked about it yet, but I am a bit curious and open to trying it out if she wants to. I don’t actively want or desire her that way, but I could get into it and probably enjoy myself quite a lot if we gave it a go.

    The thing is to not feel pressured to feel a certain way, like to worry that if you don’t come then it’ll be a failure, cause from what I hear, sex can be pretty fun anyway, that’s all it is, so enjoy yourself above all. It’s not a performance

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