NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Will Bite Your Neck

Feature image of Lily Liqueur by Sincere Photography.

Kia Samuel via curvesincolor

Kia Samuel via curvesincolor

+ Porn “addiction” isn’t neurologically like addiction at all and we should all stop saying it is:

“For therapists that treat porn consumption on an addiction model and for religious groups like Focus on the Family that are invested in maintaining a concept of ‘porn addiction,’ the research undermines the clinical language they used in their approach to the controversial medium. But conclusive evidence for ‘sex addiction’ and ‘porn addiction’ continues to prove elusive.

Today, Prause, Steele, and their team of researchers are back with a new study, published in the journal Biological Psychology, that only reaffirms their previous findings: ‘porn addiction’ and ‘sex addiction,’ as we understand them, may not be real.”

+ How do you play with sensation when part of your body doesn’t have any? At the Unlaced Librarian, Leandra Vane writes about BDSM and physical disability:

“My favorite kinks that fall into the category of sensation play on the more pain intense side of the spectrum include spanking, electricity play and light flogging. But I’ve learned a lot about my body from lighter forms of play as well. Even though I can’t feel a lot of my body, when I play with certain toys like vibrators or electric wands on areas I can feel, I have sensations in places I cannot feel. I have also discovered ultrasensitive places, like the crook of my elbow, I would have never even thought of as being arousing if not for sensation play. Therefore, I try to participate in as much of it as possible, so I can continue to learn new things about my body and what turns me on and feels good.”

+ You can make your own strap-on harness out of rope (and it looks awesome).

+ Sex should never hurt. It should not. (The parts involving genitals anyway. Follow your kinky hearts for all the other things.)

Jamie Clayton via Nadia Itani

Jamie Clayton via Nadia Itani

+ Jaclyn Friedman and Tristan Taormino discussed whether rape fantasies can be feminist on The Yes Means Yes Show.

+ At MediaShift, Shine Louise Houston and Jiz Lee discussed the SNAPSHOT crowd funding campaign.

+ Don’t really understand fetishes? Mic addresses seven myths about them, including ideas that fetish and kink are the same (they aren’t), fetishes are rare (they aren’t), fetishes involve power play (not always) and more. Also:

“Of all the buzzy sex terms out there, ‘fetish’ is perhaps the most misunderstood. It carries a certain connotation, as adjectives like ‘weird,’ ‘strange’ and even ‘dirty’ often precede it. The result: endless jokes, stigmas and popular myths about what a sexual fetish is and isn’t.

But it doesn’t have to be so misunderstood, or complicated for that matter. Gloria Brame, a sexologist, author and member of the fetish community herself, put it this way to Mic:

‘A fetish is an intense erotic fascination with an object or part of the body that may give the fetishist as much (or more) arousal and satisfaction as a straight sex act.'”

+ Splendor in the Grass, a new installation at the Museum of Sex, is “an erotic campground.”

+ Erotica writers are threatening to leave Amazon after a new payment plan would consider pages read instead of downloaded.

+ What do you do about sex when you have dementia?

Kelsey Lu McKunkins via the What's Underneath Project via stylelikeu

Kelsey Lu McKunkins via the What’s Underneath Project via stylelikeu

+ There is a new sex pill meant to treat women who have hypoactive sexual desire disorder, and this is how it works:

“Women with HSDD seem to experience erotic situations differently than women with normal sexual function.

Some researchers think this happens because they can’t easily dial down the activity of certain parts of the brain. One 2009 study of women with HSDD found that the parts of their brains that were responsible for monitoring internal emotional states were overactive when they watched erotic videos–as if their brains were focused on judging whether their reactions were appropriate, instead of living in the erotic moment. Flibanserin helps to change the balance of active circuits in the brain by acting on the neurons that are normally controlled by two neurotransmitters: serotonin and dopamine.”

Liu Wen via thelingerieaddict

Liu Wen via thelingerieaddict


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

11 Comments

  1. Interesting … the link for ‘sex should never hurt’ takes me to a book description for Princess and the Pony. I think there is something deep going on there, but it’s Sunday evening and 30 degrees celsius where I am – so my brain is not making the deep connections.
    Also – that harness… may want to make that in advance of the moment – just fyi in case you’ve got a date tonight and were thinking of harnessing up, but don’t own one.

  2. Flibanserin is not a good drug for women. Its efficacy is minimal and its side effects serious — as evidenced by the fact that it’s been rejected by the FDA several times before. Its recent success in committee came only after a faux-grassroots PR campaign by the pharmaceutical company, and many testamonials by women attesting to their need for a “female Viagra.” Yes, there’s a need for effective, safe treatments, but need does not magically translate into safety or efficacy. Women deserve a better, safer drug than this, and the FDA shouldn’t capitulate to either market demand or corporate pressure.

    https://nwhn.org/sites/default/files/Post%20Meeting%20Statement%20-%20June%204th%20.pdf

    http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-flibanserin-isnt-female-viagra-180955506/

  3. That drug scares me…I feel like first, it endangers the asexual community and reduces them to a disorder, and also why are women/people who don’t want to have sex with men being fixed suddenly? Viagra is a fix for someone who wants to have the sex. The equivalent would be like, a lubricator pill. Also, couldn’t this possibly be utilised by predators to make a woman consent? I don’t know

    • To the last question, definitely not. I mean, sure, someone could TRY to use it for that but it wouldn’t work to actually make someone consent for many reasons, including that the drug doesn’t actually seem to do much in the way of increasing desire anyway.

  4. that harness!!! i want to make it today right now tonight. that article abt sexual pain was suprisingly thorough, especially for lifehacker (i usually just expect like, best apps for grad students articles) and a really good read also!

  5. Oooh, glad you linked to an article about sex and dementia. Can’t wait to read it soon. :) I’ve been doing lit reviews and some research on that intersection esp. in nursing homes and it’s really interesting stuff, especially around sexual rights, ageism, ability to consent, sexual assault and STI prevention, the whole kit n’ caboodle.

    Anyway. For folks interested in a documentary about this whole Flibanserin business, check out “Orgasm Inc.”

  6. Oh god, my (cismale) cousin got put into therapy for his “porn addiction” when he was like 13, and it screwed him up so badly. He’s happily married now, but he’s so afraid of himself, it hurts to watch. His dad is an alcoholic, and substance abuse runs so heavily in his family, his parents caught him watching porn and thought, “oh okay, we’ve been through this before, there’s no way you’re just growing up into a normal person”. They were projecting their own problems onto him like a goddamn IMAX.

    To this day, I think the only reason I didn’t get put into therapy for the same reason is I was a lot better at hiding it.

  7. That lead image of Lily Liqueur is sexy as.

    Great links as usual! Thank you Carolyn, much food for thought.

  8. Thanks for the headsup on splendour in the grass! I’m really looking forward to seeing it!

Comments are closed.