NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Doesn’t Need To Ask Whether We Had Sex

feature image via models of color


Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Sex education films in America have always depended on the cultural and political forces of their eras. In a compelling history in Bitch, Sarah Mirk writes:

“Since that 1948 screening, private companies, political organizations, individuals, and government agencies have made thousands of sex-ed films and videos targeting elementary, middle school, and high school students. Sex education is arguably more closely tied to film than any other subject in public school. Whether students recall sex-ed class VHS tapes, filmstrips, or YouTube clips as being painfully corny discussions of dating or sincerely educational forays into the sticky bits of our biology, sex-ed films color our understanding of sexuality.”

Free  Spiiirit in Alien Pass!on via www.freespiiirit.com

Free Spiiirit in Alien Pass!on via www.freespiiirit.com

+ Women’s disgust with other women’s body hair is an example of internalizing the patriarchy, according to a new study:

“Respondents said that shaving was a minor inconvenience and a personal choice, but that overall the idea of body hair was revolting. ‘I think women who don’t shave are a little gross,’ said one interviewee, a 22-year-old Caucasian lesbian. ‘Because sometimes, like if people don’t shave their entire lives, that’s just a little to much to handle for me. I always shave. I don’t like hair. I shave everything.’ […]

The [resulting] paper [by Breanne Fahs], which has the alliterative title ‘Perilous Patches and Pitstaches: Imagined Versus Lived Experiences of Women’s Body Hair Growth,’ had a feminist perspective, which was, in the author’s words, to ‘highlight the invisibility of omnipresent sexism directed toward those who violate practices to ‘maintain’ the female body.’ The compulsion to shave, in other words, is an example of how women have internalized patriarchal ideals of femininity.”

+ Teenagers who send more than 100 texts a day are statistically more likely to have had sex, according to a new study. Among other findings:

  • “Young teens who sent sexts were almost 4 times more likely to report being sexually active.
  • Sending and receiving sexts went hand-in-hand: Those who reported receiving a sext were 23 times more likely to have also sent one.
  • Students who identified as LGBTQ were 9 times more likely to have sent a sext.
  • However, unlike past research on high school students, LGBTQ young adolescents were not more likely to be sexually active, the study showed.
  • Youth who texted more than 100 times a day were more than twice as likely to have received a sext and almost 4.5 times more likely to report having sent a sext.”

+ It is very expensive to be exposed to HIV in America while uninsured.

+ Belle Knox wrote about the stigma of sex work, arguing that society’s shaming of female sexuality is ingrained and affects everyone.

+ The Labia Library is an online project to “show that, just like any other part of the body, labia come in all shapes and sizes.”

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed Bendy Beads.

+ There are dragon dildos now.

+ If you’re inexperienced but want to try out kink, there are a few easy ways to start.

+ The latest sweeping generalization about millennials is that they don’t know how to love properly:

“Baby boomers seem to assume that just because millennials won’t put an official title on a relationship, it somehow means that they value it less. Perhaps they don’t care about labelling something as long as they’re happy. Or maybe they’re afraid of the weight that comes with being in A Relationship and would prefer not to commit themselves until they feel comfortable — particularly when the adults in their life put so much pressure on the idea.”

Courtney McCullough by Damien Vigneaux via nervousfingers

Courtney McCullough by Damien Vigneaux via nervousfingers


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

17 Comments

  1. I can be wrong, I haven’t really researched this issue, but it seems reasonable to me that women shaving off their body hair may have had something to do with controlling body lice. I had body lice once and they are definitely not fun. There was an awfully lot of itching. It’s enough to deal with head lice which is why men in some cultures had short hair and cut their beards, but body lice in men may have been a sign of manhood. LOL

    • Yeah….no. It’s definitely a patriarchal, and at times creepily pedophiliac, thing, and very shaming. If it had anything to do with lice, women would routinely shave their heads, too. Do you honestly think it has nothing to do with patriarchal control of women? ‘Cause that’s just…I don’t even know.

      • Did the study ask about male body hair? Non-binary body hair? My own hair itches, causes bumpy skin, makes it difficult to exfoliate and can indeed lead to lice. Male swimmers and bicyclists shave. After they get started they often don’t want to go back, even after retiring, for comfort, not sexuality! I’d have to argue that the assumption it has to do with sexuality is a patriarchal device, designed to get us fighting amongst ourselves. But if sensuality is related, then how about the sensory perception of skin verses hair? I do feel sexier without it, because my jeans feel good against my legs and my underarms do not smell…

        • I think that the SHAMING that goes along with not shaving is most DEFINITELY a product of the patriarchy.

          I think that the conflation of female body hair and lesbianism/queerness is because both of these things are in direct opposition to patriarchical ideals. It’s not designed to create infighting, but to punish transgression from the norm of the patriarchy.

          There’s nothing wrong with shaving or not shaving, but there IS something wrong with everyone giving shit to every girl who doesn’t shave. If you feel sexier without body hair, shave! I feel sexier (and more myself) with hairy legs, so why should I be told I’m disgusting because of it?

    • It doesn’t really matter how the tradition of shaving body hair started; the fact that today women are expected to do it and men aren’t is a whole lotta patriarchal bullshit.

      On the other hand, I have a problem with the idea that women’s disgust of other women’s body hair is always because of the patriarchy. Some people are grossed out by hair in general. I happen not to be a big fan of body hair on any gender. But I would never shame someone for it.

    • I found an article in the Chicago Tribune about it. I think if it had meaningfully to do with lice, it would have started before 1915 – and shaving legs would definitely have begun before the 1940s, maybe back in the 1910s with increased urbanization. (There was some removal of body hair by the ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans, but it isn’t continuous through Western/European history.)

  2. The labia library is pretty awesome. Most people are so uncomfortable with the physical appearance of labia, and don’t usually see any other than our own or our partners’. Heck, even in movies they’ll show the occasional dangling dick, but close ups of vulvas are usually reserved for porn.

    There’s a similar website for breasts that I wish could be incorporated into high school health classes. Teenagers are already so self conscious, and they see such a narrow range of breast types and shapes in the media. Seeing the wide variety in body types among average people makes you realize that there’s no such thing as “normal”.

    • Definitely second the high school idea!

      Super excited that The Labia Library is produced by the Women’s Health organisation in the same state as me.

      Definitely going to wear them down until they give me an internship.Such a great organisation and project. Anything to end body shame is good in my book.

  3. I feel like that body hair article didn’t make a whole lot of sense in its conclusion, but the paper it referenced sounds interesting.

    Really I’m just commenting because….

    I just discovered using an electric razor and I’m very excited about this! I’m a naturally very hair person with naturally very sensitive skin. I always hated shaving. No matter what I did, it always took me forever and my skin was always irritated after. I just didn’t feel particularly sexy with red, bumpy, ouchy skin. Combine that with my tendency to immediately want to do the opposite of some mandate put on me, and my growing into feminism in college and I haven’t shaved probably in about a decade at this point. My leg hair grows blond, but there’s LOTS of it and it grows long and curly. It’s not subtle.

    However, body hair has implications for professionalism as well. I’m outside a lot for my work and I’m just dying in the summer heat and I’d love to wear skirts but I feel like I can’t so I’m always in pants.

    But I just, just used this electric razor, like the kind you would give a buzz cut with and I put the setting on the shortest and I’m so pleased with the result! No irritated skin, I still have hair on my legs which I like, but it’s much less obvious so I feel like I can wear skirts.

    Boom! Compromise is going to feel sweet in the hot week ahead. :)

    • oh yeah, then when I finally decide to shave my head at some point, I’ll have the tool at hand, too. =p

      • After toying with the idea of shaving my head for YEARS, I took the plunge about six months ago and haven’t looked back! I’m soooo happy with my buzz cut!

  4. Sometimes I forget there are people who haven’t heard of Bad Dragon, even though they’ve been around forever. Dear gods, I’m a furry sack of trash.

  5. yea I don’t save my legs. I seriously don’t see the problem. I believe it to be a cultural thing. I love my leg hair. While we talk about body acceptance, let’s also talk about body hair acceptance. Especially in the lgbt community, I think it would be more accepted. I’m not saying shaving is bad; I’ve just never understood the need to.

  6. When solely women get criticized for body-hair, sure patriarchy, not cool.
    But I find it gross on humans regardless of sex/gender..had a boyfriend whom I regularly bugged into shaving (especially in the summer)…So I don’t think it’s patriarchy in everyone’s case, just preference…

Comments are closed.