Hi! Let’s talk about how you can ruin your life and lose your friends by working for Autostraddle!
no friends (via weareallmadeofkittens.tumblr.com)
We’re ONLY looking for Interns who are one or both of the following:
+ a Photoshop/InDesign expert
+ a video editor with Final Cut
Interested candidates should send in samples that best showcase their specific expertise, as well as an explanation of availability and a resumé that clearly outlines training and experience.
We’re ALWAYS looking for Writers who are web-savvy, have a unique, well-developed style and voice, lots of their own ideas and online writing experience (a personal blog counts) and basic knowledge of HTML. Your grammar and spelling should be perfect. Interested candidates should be prepared to write articles between 600 and 800 words on short notice and bring some kind of expertise to the table.
What are your areas of expertise? Not sure? Well I bet you’re an expert at something. We’d like someone who knows what’s up in one or more of the following areas:
+ trans issues
+ feminism
+ racial issues
+ religion
+ film
+ visual art
+ sci-fi
+ health & medicine
If this isn’t you, but you have a lot to say about your vintage fixed-gear Raleigh or how to make an actual American quilt, you should still apply! Someone probably cares about what you care about, and chances are, it’s us!
Interested? Here’s who you need to contact:
laneia [at] autostraddle [dot] com
We won’t look at any applications that don’t include ALL of the following things:
1. Resumé (preferably as a PDF or on a webpage, no Word attachments EVER)
2. Areas of expertise and levels of expertise. There should be at least three issues you feel comfortable producing content about without needing to spend too much time on background research. E.g., “lesbian pop culture in the ’90s,” “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” “Riot Grrrl,” “underwear shopping” or “same-sex marriage laws” or “how to have lesbian sex!”
3. Three links to your writing online. This can be your personal blog, fancy publication, Tumblr, Twitter or ANYTHING AT ALL that best reflects your voice and abilities.
4. What do you want to write about? Send at least two story ideas.
5. What’s your availability?
6. Why the hell you want to do this?
7. What is your propensity for dropping out of college or having a mental breakdown? Because we hate that shit.
+++
Special Note: Unfortunately, having a passionate love for Autostraddle isn’t enough to make a good intern/writer/editor. This makes us sad too, ’cause we wish we had time to hire and work with everybody! But we don’t. And just because we don’t have space for you on the team doesn’t mean that we don’t want to keep seeing your face commenting and appreciating and sharing and tweeting and being part of the conversation. There’s something specific we look for, so please don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back from us. You’re still a very special, important snowflake!
+++
No need to send a cover letter — just answer the questions listed above. If we like one of your story ideas, we’ll ask you to write a guest post (at least 600 words). Then we’ll edit that sucker and publish it on Autostraddle! If it goes well and everyone seems cool and you’re not a pain in the neck to work with, you could be asked to write some more guest posts. We also secretly audition you in reply-all emails, which is a lot of fun for us.
Please don’t apply if you can’t meet deadlines, don’t understand proper sentence structure, can’t reply to emails, aren’t funny, are addicted to more than two substances or don’t have any free time. This isn’t a hobby (though it pays like one!) and revolutions don’t make themselves.
95 responses to “Wanna Write For Us? The Emotional Rewards Are Endless!”
Please don’t apply if you can’t meet deadlines, don’t understand proper sentence structure, can’t reply to emails, aren’t funny, are addicted to more than two substance or don’t have any free time.
How adorable is the missing “s” in a sentence that demands proper sentence structure? Answer: VERY!
see, the sentence originally said “more than one substance” and sarah said i should loosen up and allow at least two so i did AND THEN I FORGOT TO PROOFREAD THE LAST SENTENCE.
hmph! i’m hungry.
Oh hey, that’s my fault! Me, the resident copy editor! I think I got distracted by one of the five gchats I was engaged in at the time. But honestly, one was a little restrictive.
I didn’t mean to criticize, kittens. I just thought it was funny cause it is SO something that I would do.
Once I sent a really serious worky e-mail. I was so proud about how professional and grown-up it sounded only to realize I misspelled “fact” as “fart” AFTER I clicked send. What a difference a letter makes.
I hope we can still be friends.
of course we’re still friends! i just wanted you to know that it was allllll sarah’s fault. and that she thinks one addiction is too strict. and that i was hungry.
obvi still friends!
I’m just going to accept that I am a very special, important snowflake who, despite being incredibly funny, with an above average grasp of proper sentence structure, an insane love of deadlines, an extraordinary amount of free time and no addictions at all, can’t meet any other requirement that you need and so should not apply.
I am also now paranoid that I have broken a lot of grammar rules and you will all judge me.
the reason everyone else has to be perfect at grammar is because mine is so terrible. just fyi.
I’m sure that’s not true – your full stop usage is impeccable, for example.
Writing for Autostraddle is definitely not a life ruiner. Silly. In fact, it’s a life maker.
Although everything would be made better by being made into a weareallmadeofkittens. Because that’s my favourite thing in the world right now. Just sayin.
Autostraddle: the life maker…it’s not just for straights anymore.
someone telling me i’m a snowflake is literally the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me. seriously.
hmm, that made me sound soo pathetic, but it’s true.
no it sounded sweet, you ARE a snowflake!
SNOOWWWWFLAKE xxo
oh, you ladies
Ha
The Jamaicans on the block call my girlfriend “Snowflake” cuz she’s the lightest chick in the neighborhood. lmao
yup, random…
Maybe I’m being stupid, but I read this like three times and can’t figure it out. Being an intern if you know Photoshop/InDesign is separate from being a writer, right? So what do you want in that case?
Maybe they want well-rounded people? It’s also pretty common for places to want you to have at least basic skills in some sort of visual editor. It tends to speed up the process a bit.
Oh, I get it. They want interns who can do InDesign/Photoshop/FinalCut stuff, but they ALWAYS want more writers. Two different things
Of course I figure that out after I send in my application. I should probably stop skimming important notices like this.
basically, interns need to be little workhorses with editing skills and no life and no girlfriends and no more than TWO (2) substance addictions. BUT THEY NEVER HAVE TO WRITE.
writers need no editing skills and are allowed to have two substance addictions and girlfriends and can go out on the weekends. BUT THEY HAVE TO WRITE.
yeah?
Yeah. I’m with you now.
I feel like I’d be relatively successful at either of those, except I have zero substance addictions and one girlfriend. Is there a point system where I can trade vices?
I guess I *could* just be a writer, but then my hopes and dreams of leading the intern army to take over the internet would be crushed.
It basically means that we aren’t hiring interns unless they can edit movies or are photoshop/indesign experts.
Thanks for clarifying!
this. is. THRILLING. i have been waiting for this article forever. (and not just because someone finally recognized what a special, important snowflake i am!)
autostraddle is actually an online dating site, you’ll probably find your gf here.
it’s true, I found my gf in the Hot 100, though she never called back…
“autostraddle makes the panties drop”
-katrina casino
I applied.
I’m not sure if this is because I feel like I’m actually qualified or if I just have a *thing* for being rejected. Probably a mix of both, but hopefully someone with hiring power will find me interesting/intelligent enough to contribute to what has become my favorite place on the internet.
Also – weareallmadeofkittens.tumblr.com makes my day, every day.
As I was reading the list of topics Autostraddle needs experts on, I felt like I feel when watching Trebek reveal the categories of jeopardy…forever hoping for a chemistry category that will never be there.
If there’s one thing this website is missing, it’s some hard science. Electrons make me giddy. Viva la chemistry.
Seconded. Mooaaarrr SCIENCE!
agreed and noted! i am a science geek. need to bring that shit to THE FORE!
i’ve updated this to include a more detailed description of what to send in if you’re interested in being an intern!
SO MANY PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES IN ONE SENTENCE!
I have a ridiculous amount of love for Autostraddle, but unfortunately that’s where my qualifications end.
Unless you want cookies.. because I can bake you cookies.
i just want everyone to know that i had zero substance addictions before working for autostraddle.
And now you probably have more than two. Luckily, that won’t get you fired, just not hired.
Prepositions hate me. And I hate them. And they hate me for hatin’ them, and I hate them for hatin’ me. And we hate each other. And that’s cause (almost) none of us got enough grammar lessons in our childhoods. And that’s educationbiz, kid.
I guess what I’m trying to say is: 1) my grammar is painfully flawful, 2) my English dictionary’s quality is debatable (hint: it isn’t rural), 3) ‘Chicago’ was on TV a few days ago, and 4) I’m not applying but I’ll still take it personally if I don’t hear back from you (I’m very sensitive lately).
Razzle dazzle ‘em, applicants!
<3
I have absolutely nothing you’re looking for, and that makes me very upset. But you say that I’m still a special, important snowflake. Fuck special, important snowflakes. Those bitches melt.
I was struck by lightning once. I mean, that’s riveting, right? Ooooh! Plus, I have a disease that’s going to kill me. SYMPATHY VOTE.
Can I be an intern’s intern? I just want to make coffee for you. And sometimes maybe get tied up or something.
HOW ARE YOU DYING. can i ask that?
none of our interns can make coffee, so i think you have a foothold there.
Of course you can ask that.
I have aplastic anemia. It’s kinda like leukemia but without the street cred. My blood cells are all kinds of fucked, but instead of cancer cells being the issue, like with leukemia, doctors don’t really know what’s up.
My only shot of survival is a bone marrow transplant. This is a problem for 2 reasons. 1) BMTs are really risky. A large portion of patients develop host vs. graft disease. Also, I’d have to live in a sterile environment for about 6 months. 2) I’m a park ranger, so I work really hard for half the year and then can do anything I want for the other half. I get paid year-round, but I only have insurance during the working hard part. I can’t afford a BMT because of the current healthcare system in the US. It’s very frustrating to listen to healthcare debates and know that they’re discussing whether or not I have the right to live.
The ultimate irony (cue Alanis Morissette) is that I want to live more than ever before.
Sorry for the length of my reply / Debbie Downer / I will make you delicious coffee.
someone that says “it’s kinda like leukemia but without the street cred.” can not die, america is bullshit sometimes.
I love you wasteunit, can i help with the coffee/anything?!
wasteunit- I am on the bone marrow donor registry- is there a way we can check to see if you can have my bone marrow for when the money to afford it happens??
Seriously. What do I have to do to see if you and you only can have my marrow? It’s never done me any good, I’d happily give you as much as you need. All I ask in return is just some of that delicious coffee.
i want you to be well. right now.
Like I have Final Cut Pro, know how to edit and am proficient at Photoshop (really the entire fucking Adobe Creative Suite). I have no life, no girlfriend and way too much free time. I feel like I should have an addiction but I don’t and am open to suggestions. Can I apply for an internship?
yes. but you have to renounce your love for taylor swift.
Don’t let them change you, Corey.
TSWIFT4EVS
I renounce my love for Taylor Swift. And throw my sombrero and tiny cape into the applicant ring.
Boo hiss. Here endeth our Love Story.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFFFFT! i think we danced / sang along to that scarlet letter song in nyc! i know we did in palm springs. I HAVE SANG ALONG TO TAYLOR SWIFT. EVERYONE IS FRIENDS NOW.
We defo defo did in Palm Springs, during that taco run.
Sarah, I know your comment probably refers to the spicy peasant food primarily associated with Latin America and the U.S. Latino/a population, but I am imagining something naughtier in my head that wants me to be a glamorous guest-writer for Autostraddle.
I don’t have a blog or a tumblr associated with me anymore because I had to change email addresses and such a while back due to a fraud scare. If I wrote like a brazen, insane motherlover and wracked up a decent post count, could I use THAT as my application to be a guest writer here? Because I love writing; I’d go insane without it. I write everything from bad poetry to (I am told) excellent erotic short stories. I love fiction, but I do love whipping my opinions out for people to gasp at. So.
I wish there was a post for ‘coffee-making court jester’.
As soon as we get an office, we will begin hiring for this position.
If you ladies get an office, I’ll buy you an Aero Press and you will always have the best coffee your mugs can handle.
I know sci-fi, queer history and politics. But I have a humorless, acerbic tone that pisses people off.
…
Or you could contact me next time you need to move to a new server. I’m an expert at doing that without pissing people off or people even noticing it was done.
Hmm, I have most of those things. Except I’m also a squirrel-addicted-to-PCP-Internet-surfing-person. But dude, I would give my left ovary to write for Autostraddle, so maybe I can kick that habit? Does the Internet count as a substance addiction?
I’d be almost perfect except I have no resume, suck with deadlines and have adhd so my attention span makes a squirrel look like the most focused animal in the world. BUT I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON THAT NOBODY ELSE DOES! as youngest I know what it’s like for lgbt kids in the american school system right now!
I would LOVE doing this if I wasn’t already pulling my hair out with school, work, and an internship. UGH.
I’ll promise to be a special-commenting snowflake for the rest of my days for Autostraddle. One day I will meet you all and I can pretend to be part of the awesome team!
Darlings at autostraddle, who do I contact if I’m having technical problems with the site? I didn’t want to email the wrong people.
*Embarrassed face*
you can just email me
Cool. Thanking you x
My god, this is weird.
My gf just dumped me and, at 30, I have to move 3000 miles and live with my mom. I will have no job and prob not brush my hair/teeth for a month while I wallow and cry. I could lay in bed and write. And I have a stupid blog. It’s my expertise that I doubt…and I can’t let go of two spaces after a period.
God knows I’m not good with deadlines
*coughSeattleLGBTguidecough*
I would like to officially give that assignment up because I may just never stop crying if I have to write about this place now. This was my out place, and she was my out girl. Just so you know. Someone else must live here that wants to do it…
I may apply, but I don’t know. I love you guys though. My gf turned me onto L Word, and LWord recaps led me to this, so it all works out in the end…
wait seriously your gf dumped you? haven’t you guys been together like a long time? am i crazy? let’s talk leah! we love you
Yes ma’am. 3 years, 2 months, and 3 viles of frozen sperm later, it’s over…
Good news? MOVING BACK TO RI!!
Rodeo Disco 2011, here I come.
WAIT! Is this the same Leah I just emailed today?!
read below…I meant to reply to you…I’ll email back soon. It’s a doozy:)
I just wanted to make it known that after staying up late working on my application, I had a dream that I was at this crazy wild party with all the Autostraddle staff, most of whom were traipsing about in their underwear. I’m not sure if that makes me more qualified or makes people back away slowly, but I just thought I’d put that out there.
sounds like you were having a dinah shore sympathy-flashback.
Exxxxcellent.
Seriously… that picture at the bottom made my day. Oh dolly!
Sorry, I have zero to offer but my undying support and adoration. (plus my grammar and spleink is terrible).
…C’est vrai! Extrêmement terrible, très pire!
<3
Damn, joining in with the ranks of the ‘unable to apply even though I want to’ club.
I know a lot!(!!!) about sci-fi. And horses. Fucking horses. I mean, not literal fucking horses, but just, as much as I love them they suck.
But I’m not funny (just sarcastic and bitchy), have no resume because I don’t do anything but work at a restaurant and occasionally write short fiction and/or fanfiction about Glee, and the only links I have are for the aforementioned things that no one actually wants to hear about.
Plus, I quit college and have had mental breakdowns.
So basically nothing like what you want. Except for the sci-fi thing.
Though, rethinking and rereading all this, I may pull together a resume and samples and shit because I need to write more and why not?
I can make tiny cakes in the microwave. Just saying.
this is relevant to my interests
Submit an article about this. I have to know more.
Vikki–I’m so f’in sorry. I felt so dumb telling you today that a week ago I thought we were having kids and 5 days ago she says she doesn’t want them “right now”.
No pity party for me…but srsly, THANK YOU FOR YOUR STORY. This won’t break me, and it doesn’t mean your advice won’t be used someday…
You shouldn’t feel dumb! I’m just sorry that you are going through this.
btw, I vote for break-up open thread…
PLEASE. I am having a semi-half-breakup with my two (I guess no-longer-?) girlfriends except I am still about to move in with them (can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?) and I have TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR ONE PERSON.
Open threeeaaaadddd.
I think they should collect advice/stories from everyone, kinda like this: what kind of relationship/break-up type are you, what’s your break-up advice? for example: eating pasta with ketchup for a week and listening to ace of base. (helps!)
though I think the conclusion will be that everyone needs to find their own way… but it would still be fun to read! (or not, since the topic is break-ups)
otherwise, I’m voting for an open thread, too.
Oh hai writing.
hahaha
after a tiring day at work – all in autouniverse – you all are the best!
laughing all the way readin the job post and the replies.
i pledge undying support in the comments section, foevah
COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC but I HAD AN EPIPHANY oh my god when I read weareallkittens I think about kittens inspired by kittens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU
That is the exact voice that plays in my head when I read this tumblr. It was bothering me and I FIGURED IT OUT.
AM I ALONE? I need to know I’m not alone.
THIS OH GOD THIS SO MUCH
Every kitten I see is thinking: “I’m a secret agent!”
When it hits the part where there’s just a lot of screaming, I think about riese and laneia recapping The Real L Word.
Hmm, the desire to do this is niggling at me. However, like many others, I am ill-prepared, and would probably have to write a lot to qualify myself to write a lot. I shall have a cup of tea and think about it.
Being grilled via reply-alls sounds like a gratifying experience. Sexually.
Also, do the people that do become interns/writers have to renounce their snowflake status? Or do they get to be a different tiny unique instance of nature, like a stalactite? I could go for being a stalactite.
Hey, do you think you would hire a middle aged, straight, guy; who knows about the beginnings of the gay lesbian culture, (I actually attened the first gay day parade in SF), who happends to live in the heart of the south, knows all about deadlines, (Member of the ACWA), knows more about religion than most pastors, has a Bi-sexual wife, lesbian daughter, and writes LGBT love stories? If you would be interested, let me know. My only problem would be that I don’t have that much of my work online. More hard copy than anything else. Besides that, I’m a stay at home dad, home schooling the last of my eight special needs children.
Thanks…
P.S. Not a joke. ttfn
i feel like autostraddle needs you
I am considering applying to intern, graphic design is my major…
My probability of dropping out of college is 0. I’m crazy enough to stay up all night, but not so crazy that I’ll break down and disappear. I do need a design internship before I graduate, and Katrina Casino and I have been known to think that going out in public wearing color coordinated fancy clothes is a good idea (it’s not).
However, I feel like fancier snowflakes are probably applying. Also, there was no point to this post.
Hey, can I apply in like two months for writing, or does that defeat the whole deadlines qualification?
I’d apply now, but must evade my gaygrounding by interneting at work/using a typewriter at home.
“We’re ALWAYS looking for Writers…”
Are you still looking for an editor?