National Coming Out Day Listling Without Commentary: Selections From Your Coming Out Stories

Last year we all shared our very own coming out stories with you on our National Coming Out Day Open Thread. You then shared your coming out stories with us. The following sentences were extracted from those stories:

1. “I came out to my mom on I-95 on the way to see Dave Matthews Band.”

2. “She started crying and said “but Anne Heche changed her mind. It’s probably just a phase.

3. “They asked if I’d ever had sex with a goat.”

4. “One night we were sitting doing a puzzle and I had got so annoyed with it that night that I looked at my mom and was like ‘i’m gay’ just to get out of doing any more on the damn puzzle.”

5. “I told my dad after sitting around in his workshop/the garage for an hour and procrastinating and talking about his childhood and Ukrainian polka music.”

6. “I was really high on painkillers and I thought I was going to die.”

7. “I figured I would just blurt it out over our game of Scrabble.”

8. “Everyone applauded, and we sat down and watched But I’m a Cheerleader.”

9. “I didn’t care really because I’m out and everybody has dreamed about Shane at least once I’m sure.”

10. “I was convinced I was going to die and I didn’t want to die a Mormon.”

11. “Then my cousin ran in the room shouting “Mom! Mom! You have to take me to the hospital right now! I’ve been farting rainbows, I think I caught the gay!””

12. “We went to Smith, so I knew it wasn’t going to be a big deal.”

13. “My poor girlfriend ran out of the house and fell on her face and broke her toe.”

14. “France turned me gay.”

15. “My sister said that she had guessed, because I liked “those twin singers” so much.”

16. “I’m bi. Yeah. See you on Monday.”

17. “All the girls at my campus wear shorts up their ass, and it is terribly distracting.”

18. “Waiting for their emails back was way worse than when I waited for the 3rd Harry Potter book to come out.”

19. “As it was, all she did was conduct an on telephone exorcism to get rid of the Demon of Homosexuality.”

20. “I’m gay, dipshit.”


in-article-A-plus-banner

Profile photo of Riese

Riese is the 33-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1795 articles for us.

95 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    15. “My sister said that she had guessed, because I liked “those twin singers” so much.”

    My sister said pretty much the same… But about Britney Spears.! Actually i understood i was totally gay when i saw the Im Slave 4 U video for the first time! xD

  2. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    12. “We went to Smith, so I knew it wasn’t going to be a big deal.”

    I think my family had been bracing themselves after I came home from college for my first winter break and declared myself a vegetarian.

    So when I came home the next year for winter break and declared my lack of heterosexuality I think it wasn’t a huge surprise.

  3. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    My parents didn’t believe me the first time I came out to them in eighth grade. And I came out to my high school my senior year because we were talking about relationships during this peer facilitated mental health week thing. Before then it was just my group of friends. I tried to do ROTC when DADT was still a thing and just couldn’t. I hated myself for lying. But I still plan on joining when I finish med school.

    Can we put #20 on a t-shirt?

  4. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    The week after my coming out, my mum brought over a cupboard that used to belong to my gran. As we were installing it in my living room, halfway done, I said that it was big enough to fit me. Upon which my mum said dryly: I thought you just came out of the closet.

  5. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Ever since I came out of the closet I’d do things like hide in the closet, wait for my mom, friend, co-worker or stranger to walk by, then kick it open screaming, “I’m out!” It gives me a good chuckle.

  6. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    My mother actually asked me before I came out. I was too scared at the time to do it (still struggling with it myself) so i denied it until a few years later. When I finally did though, my mother came back to me and said, “Your grandma and I have decided that we think it’s a phase because we both went through the same thing.”

    …Words could not describe my face.

    • Thumb up 0

      Please log in to vote

      Or maybe your mom and grandmom are bi/lesbian, but they just gave in to the staus quo.

      Show them a picture of their favorite actress and I promise you they’re “phase” feelings will come rushing back.

      When are people gonna realize you can’t shake what you like.

    • Thumb up 0

      Please log in to vote

      My mom said that when she was around 13 she felt some attraction for one of her friends, that is now my sister’s godmother, but that it’s pretty normal and it goes away! :-S and i was like “no, it doesn’t, you still act really “dykish” when you’re around her” xD xD she was offended but SHE DOES!! xD

  7. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Back in January my brother was stationed over in Iraq so I put together the most badass care package in the whole entire world and mailed it to him with a coming out letter. He took it really well. Maybe he took it well because he’s a decent human being but I can’t help but think that flavored popcorn and Star Wars gummy candies might have had something to do with it.

  8. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I came out to my mom via text message. I think I;ve told that story before.

    I also came out to some friends at camp and then wrote the story on my bunk in sharpie cause I was so proud of myself. And then a friend at school went to that same camp a week later and when she saw me she gave me a hug and told me I was super brave and she’d only tell if I wanted her too. That was a good day.

  9. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I first figured it out about two years ago, came out gradually over the year between then and National Coming-Out Day 2010, and then came out to everyone. We had a table with notices that people were coming out as ________ so I just put one up that said “I’m coming out as bi”

    All my friends knew already, but it was a complete shock to my parents. They weren’t mad about it, but they were very skeptical at first that I wasn’t just “sexually-frustrated” or something.

  10. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    i wish national coming out day was in a few months, because then, i think i might be ready. i don’t know what i’m waiting for but now doesn’t feel right?

    also, once upon a time 2 years ago, my virgin self mentioned to my mom i thought i might be a big old lez or at least bi and her response was that i just needed to have sex with a man.

    yayyyy

  11. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Last year, NCOD was on Columbus Day, so there was no school that day. This year, it fell on the day after, so what did my school district do to avoid people coming out? They gave us today off as well.

    Herp derp derp.

  12. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I got my mum really drunk and told her. She cried down the phone to her sassy gay friend (I’m not even joking, thank GOD for her sassy gay friend) and the next day was fine but hungover. Then I got her to tell my dad while I was at the theatre watching ‘Hamlet’ with my school. I don’t think I paid attention to the play. My dad picked me up and after asking about the play we spent the drive home in the most awkward silence ever. Then we had ‘the talk’ in the living room. It went: “Are you happy?” I said yes and my dad said “Well, that’s the most important thing.”

    Ten years later they (AND MY GRANDAD) came to an Alternative-Pride event to support me taking part in a poetry reading to raise money for LGBT charities. Coming out was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

  13. Pingback: National Coming Out day links | qPDX.com – Queer news, views and events for Portland

  14. Thumb up 1

    Please log in to vote

    Me: “So, um, yeah, ______ is my girlfriend. Like girlfriend girlfriend. And so yeah, I’m gay.”

    Mom: “I know sweetheart, I was just waiting for you to tell me when you were ready.”

    Me: “YOU KNEW? Since when?”

    Mom: “Since you were 11 and made me rent all the Sandra Bullock movies ever made.”

  15. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I just barely came out to my dad and pretended to come out to mom so she wouldn’t get in trouble for knowing. He was gnawing on a chicken bone when I told him and continued to chew vigorously on it until about five minutes later when my mom said “oh, wow, I had no idea” and tried to act surprised…
    Conversation has been limited since then.

  16. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    So, my mom tries to be okay with the coming out thing. She’s polite to my girlfriend, she invites us over to dinner. But then she does things like… frequently inquiring if I’ve met any interesting “people” (aka husband-worthy men) lately. And she likes to say things such as: “I just want you to be open and consider all possibilities.”

    … Does she not know what bisexual means? /facepalm

  17. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Came out to my mom this weekend. Best part of the (incredibly awkward but not as awful as anticipated) conversation: Mom speaking to me, “I just want you to know that there is nothing about you that would make anyone suspect this, other than the relationships you’ve had.”

    *facepalm*

  18. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    i was hoping for my school to do SOMETHING for ncoday so i could see that there are other queers there, instead this conservative group came and harassed people about an entirely different topic. sigh

  19. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’m actually pretty sure I’m asexual (possibly homoromantic, but the whole damn things fuzzy, really), but I DID “come out” to my school principal about wanting to wear a suit at graduation/prom. She was surprisingly cool with it, considering that she’s Mormon.

    Gogogadget gender-nonconformity!

  20. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Me and my girlfriend were at dinner with my mother and her future husband, and during dinner she had her hand on my thigh and on the car ride back we held hands; and seemingly we thought we got away with our daring show of affections, but my father called me the next morning and said,

    “So I hear you’re a lesbian?”

  21. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I am awkwardly half closeted which is lots of fun. I mean, I walk around school with a pompadour (shaved on the sides/in the back), a rainbow lunchbox/backpack, and wear bowties or vests to every school function possible, yet I still get asked if “any of the guys have asked me to homecoming” in a nonsarcastic way. *facepalm*

  22. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’ll wake up one day and think I’m straight and then wake up another day and think I’m bisexual. Or I’ll think I’m straight and then I’ll see a hot girl, or I’ll think I might actually be a lesbian and then I’ll see a hot guy.

    So I’m saving coming out until I can come up with something more coherent than “Mum, Dad, I’m really, really, REALLY confused.”

  23. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Last NCOD I shot my dad a text that just said “Hey, just so you know, it’s National Coming Out Day and I wanted to say that yes, I still like girls, and I have an absolutely wonderful girlfriend.” I had briefly mentioned it previously, but the topic had been changed pretty quickly, so I wanted to re-come out just in case his silly logical emotionally-stunted head got it.

    His only response?
    “That makes two of us.”

  24. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I haven’t come out to my parents (for ~reasons) but when I came out to my best friends, their reactions could not have possibly been better. It was basically, “Yeah? Cool. We figured because, you know, the Adam Lambert thing.”

  25. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Yesterday I came out to my dad, the last person in my family I hadn’t told, so I guess I feel pretty good. At least no one can say I didn’t tell them… I’m bi but I’ve never had a relationship with anyone, so my mom doesn’t quite trust that I know what I want… she also thinks that wanting to display as queer doesn’t make sense since I’m still “half-straight”. The worst part is that every time she makes a comment like that, I feel a little less secure in my identity.

    My sister says she doesn’t “understand why people have to tell everyone”, which has made me feel uncomfortable about telling my friends. I’m afraid they’ll wonder why I’m telling them.

  26. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    #18 perfectly corresponds with how it felt when I was waiting to hear back from my sister over email. And then of course once I got the email, I was so terrified at her response that it took me several days to read it, and then I found out she was totally cool with it.

    I also want #20 on a shirt.

  27. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    The weirdest reaction I’ve gotten so far was definitely one of my friends. She was leaving the next day to study abroad and had driven to our school to hang out with everyone for the night.

    I told her I had something to tell her and promptly started giggling because I laugh A LOT when I’m uncomfortable. Like, I was laughing so hard I was crying into the pillow on the couch I was sitting at. One of my friends, knowing where this was going, decided to make it easier for me so he screamed “HEY KELLY. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT?”

    This only made me laugh harder because seriously… Jennifer Love Hewitt? That’s the first celebrity you thought of? Is she even famous anymore?

    By the time I choked out “I’m a lesbian” I had been laughing for so long said friend thought that it was an elaborate practical joke and starting rolling on the floor laughing too. Then she realized none of the other people in the room were laughing except me and her and stopped mid-laugh and made a face of recognition.

    Um yeah… no one probably cared about that.

    TL,DR – I laugh a lot when I’m uncomfortable and therefore people sometimes don’t believe me when I come out.

  28. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I came out to my mother the summer before sophomore year of high school.

    This first thing she said? “No, you’re not. You’re too girly.” The most recent conversation we had about it ended in “Anak ko, boys are fun. You know, never say never.” This is also a woman who believes my lesbian cousin has been going through a seven year phase, and supposedly did her Master’s thesis on homosexuality.

  29. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’m out to a lot of my friends (mainly the queer ones/people I met after I started figuring this shit out) and to my sister, but not my parents. My mom’s actually asked me twice, once when I was in high school and TOTALLY not ready to deal with it (let’s just say awareness came upon me late…) and once after first year of college when I was super deep in the questioning zone. I’ve finally come to a sort of uneasy equilibrium in terms of knowing that I’m neither straight nor gay, but it’s awfully hard to know what to tell people. With people I don’t know that well, “I’m bi” works pretty well, but I don’t particularly like the term. With closer friends I’ve approached it more as acknowledging that I’m attracted to people other than cis men. I feel like I should come out to my parents at some point, but I just don’t know what to say!

  30. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I realized my parents knew I was gay my sophomore year of college. My sisters and I were sitting around talking about our awkward sex talks with our parents.

    Both my sisters mentioned that before they back after break, one of our parents would hand them an envelope with some condoms in it and deliver an awkward speech about not doing it with boys who wouldn’t wear them.

    I was always told ‘be safe, we love you’. No condoms, no mention of boys. I was annoyed they didn’t even pretend I wasn’t just in the closet. I put effort into acting straight! Plenty of straight women wear docs and men’s leather jackets. And have buzzed hair. And wear gay pride earrings all the time (maybe they like rainbows or something). And rant about gay rights at dinner at least once a week. And read lots of novels with women standing really close together on the cover, and who the fuck was I kidding.

    • Thumb up 0

      Please log in to vote

      My mom didnt give me “the sex talk” either!! She did with my sister but not me… Years later she told me “i knew i had nothing to say to you, you had your theory at school and you weren’t going to practice, i just knew”… I told her I was disapointed.! That I really tried to look straight… And she said “really? With those pants?” xD

  31. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’d been working up the nerve to tell my folks and was doing a poor job of stammering through it when my Mom interupted with: “Honey..We know..You’re gay..And if you don’t already have a girlfriend, your Dad and I reeeeally think you need to get one..Soon”

  32. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    My mom said “How can you go from men to women just like that?” I tried to explain that I didn’t just switch… I always preferred women, I was trying really hard to make it work with men and finally just accepted that it wasn’t going to. We haven’t talked about it since. She’s never met my girlfriend, I don’t think she even knows her name. I’m not pushing it right now, I think if I give her some time she’ll come around… I hope…

  33. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’m not going to tell my parents, they can find out themselves by creeping my FB or the equivilent XD

    My friends were all cool with it. I laugh at them when they take birth control.

  34. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    2. “She started crying and said “but Anne Heche changed her mind. It’s probably just a phase.“

    My mum tried to say it was just a phase. So I emblazoned CUNT on a denim jacket, shaved half my head and ended every conversation about any girl ‘fuck but she’s so hot’ till she got the message.

  35. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I told my then-seventeen-year-old brother I liked girls while he was playing Playstation, and he didn’t even look up from the screen. “Yeah, I kind of figured,” he said, and kept playing. I had to clear my throat a few times and say “That’s IT?” before I got a more appropriate response. My sister, on the other hand, decided to show acceptance by telling me about the time she and her friends got drunk and had kind of a lesbian threesome, which was equally not the response I expected.

  36. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I totally feel all the comments about bisexuality… that’s a tough one because people don’t take it seriously. I knew I was attracted to girls from puberty, and started secretly dating older girls when I was in high school, but I never ‘came out’ to anyone. When I went to college I had a girlfriend at first and was open about it so all the people I met there knew, but then I met the man who is now my husband. Just because I’m married to a man doesn’t mean I’m not bisexual anymore, but people don’t get why I identify as ‘queer’ – and in fact the reaction that I have gotten from many gay friends and acquaintances is that I don’t belong in the queer community. I hate the term bisexual because people associate it with either an ‘experimental phase’ or putting on a performance for the male gaze… they don’t believe that this is something that is just part of who I am and isn’t going to go away.

  37. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    After my dad died, I started declaring myself all sorts of crap to try and stabilize my identity, including announcing to every single soul I met that I was bi. I snapped out of it and hid in my closet for a few years until Milk won the Oscar for best screenplay and I started weeping at the speech. My mom was like ‘are you sure you aren’t gay?’ and I’m like ‘Fuck you mom stop judging me I like penis’ but then a few years ago I discovered Karen Gillan and was like ‘oh. sorry. Turns out I would stab a baby and drink it’s blood for a piece of that ass.’

    So that’s my self discovery story. The coming out was more like ‘God that woman has some fine legs’ repeated until I didn’t really have to come out to anyone. They just knew

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.