Miley Cyrus Kissed A Girl, No One Liked It

Miley Cyrus Kissed A Girl, No One Liked It :

“I’m a little hesitant about headlining this because actually I was kind of hoping we could avoid talking about it altogether, but maybe this is “important” somehow, or at least kind of funny. So anyways, yes, Miley Cyrus “kissed a girl” on UK television. First of all, did you see it yet? Would you like to? Here, here it is. (@queerty)

This was dumb (hilarious?) for a lot of reasons. First of all, as you may have noticed, Miley didn’t actually kiss anyone? Like, she kind of hovered her mouth above someone else’s mouth, like there was a force field, or she was a Dementor or something. Even Katy Perry could tell her that is not how you do a fake lesbian kiss. Also, speaking of Perry, one would assume this is part of the sexytime image revamp that started with the video for “Can’t Be Tamed,” (which if you haven’t seen it is also hilarious, like tears in your eyes laughing). But if it is, she’s doing a pretty shitty job, because she wrote in her blog that “I supposedly kissed a girl… I promise you I did not kiss her.” Is hovering your mouth over someone else’s mouth a thing on its own, then? Is that what people are doing now? Like at parties? (@ninemsn)

Critics are, in general, not pleased with this development; it is generally being regarded with a lot of eye-rolling and head-shaking by people who have opinions on what pop stars do with their tongues. Partially this is troubling and problematic, because it comes from a place of cultural discomfort with any sexuality at all (see: Adam Lambert) and a desire to police teenagers’ sexual expression. Partially, though, this is awesome, because it makes me wonder if we’re perhaps getting to a point in time where when the next Katy Perry comes out with the next “I Kissed A Girl,” and people will just change the channel because it’s dumb. Headlines are calling this Miley’s “simulated” or “faux lesbian kiss.” This could be because it wasn’t actually, you know, a kiss, but look at the placement: it’s not “lesbian fake kiss,” it’s “fake lesbian kiss.” Have we finally reached the day where mainstream culture recognizes lesbianism-for-show, and by extension, acknowledges that there exists lesbianism that’s not for show? I don’t know! Stay tuned to find out!

GAY? WHATEVER DUDE:

The New York Times’s Gay? Whatever, Dude looks at the recent Gallup Poll showing that people like gay people now more than they used to, and a particularly fascinating aspect of the research that hasn’t yet been addressed:

This new alignment is being led by a dramatic change in attitudes among younger men, but older men’s perceptions also have eclipsed older women’s. While women’s views have stayed about the same over the past four years, the percentage of men ages 18 to 49 who perceived these “relations” as morally acceptable rose by 48 percent, and among men over 50, it rose by 26 percent.

PAQUIN:

Despite that fact that I don’t think anyone at AS knew about it, and we care a lot about these things, Anna Paquin is now saying that even before she came out as part of Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors campaign, her bisexuality was always kinda out there. “It was just a cause I cared about and privately supported, but not one that I had ever had an opportunity to speak out about in a way that would be useful.”(@theadvocate)

KSTEW:

It was a seriously unclassy move when Kristen Stewart compared being harassed by paparazzi to rape, but it was pretty classy of her to apologize sincerely. “”I really made an enormous mistake – clearly and obviously,” Stewart, currently in Korea to promote the new installment of the Twilight series Eclipse, [told] PEOPLE exclusively. “And I’m really sorry about my choice of words.” (@people)

LILO:

Has a new friend! We’re happy for her. She’s been hanging out with Lady Victoria “Lady V” Hervey a lot lately.Hervey was friends with the late Casey Johnson and also with Courtenay Semel, and also, uh, has her own line of electronic cigarettes. Awesome? (@ohnotheydidnt)

SHIT MY DAD SAYS:

Remember when we told you there would be a TV show of the popular Twitter feed? Well, that’s still a thing, and here’s a trailer. (@bestweekever)

PRIDE:

Are you going to a Pride event this weekend? Wear sunscreen! Also, read AfterEllen’s Pride Guide. (@afterellen)

CONSTANCE:

A benefit for Constance McMillen headlined by Ronnie Spector will take place in Woodstock, NY on June 25. Proceeds will go to her college fund and to the ACLU. Check it out if you can! (@theadvocate)

WESTBORO:

The “Christian” hate group is slowly morphing from something we hate into something bringing laughter into our lives. Here’s the top five most hilarious Westboro Baptist music videos, which contain way more Michael Jackson parodies than one might have predicted. (@buzzfeed)

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Rachel is Autostraddle's Senior Editor and the editor who presides over books as well as news and politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel currently lives in Michigan, where she teaches writing at the college level and is pursuing her MFA in fiction. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy."

Rachel has written 714 articles for us.

41 Comments

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    Did anyone happen to watch the French Open final between Francesca Schiavone and Sam Stosur? Because there’s only one word for it: GAY.
    Or am I the only who feels that way…?

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      Other than my crush on Schiavone and Stosur’s amazing toned arms I’m not sure it was officially gay.

      It was definitely the best ladies’ FO final I’ve seen in years though, and Schiavone’s incredible attitude and infectious smile after winning was the sweetest thing ever!

      Looking forward to Wimbledon now, though I did think it would be a shame that we won’t get to see Stosur in that nice tight black tennis dress at SW19 because of the all-white rule.

      I should point out that I totally respect these athletes for their on-court prowess, and don’t mean to undermine their abilities with my lustful comments…

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    Miley. Sweetheart. You want us to believe you’re a big girl and you’re all crazy and shit now, right? But you…didn’t actually kiss her. I mean, I’m probably still not going to take you seriously, but you’d have a slightly better chance of actually pulling off the lesbian kiss for shock value stuff if you’d actually done the lesbian kiss part. Just saying. It’s like she’s playing sexuality dress up, man.

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    I think Miley’s only flaw is being too ahead of her time. When my grandchildren ask me who was the Genius that invented hover-mouthing (aka force-fielding) I’ll think of this day and hang my head in shame remembering how we all took her for granted.

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    Miley kissed a girl and no one liked it or cared. Is more like it.

    My dad was the first one to tell me about ‘Things My Dad Says’. It seems like it would be a cute show BUT I absolutely abhor comedy shows with the fake, pre-recorded, generic laughter. OMG! It can really kill a show for me. If its funny I will laugh I don;t need you to lead me.

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      Me too! Also, I dunno if it’s William Shatner’s tone or the fake laughter that preliminarily make the dad seem like a jerk instead of a sarcastic old guy.

      Insult-based comedy is a tricky, tricky thing to pull off.

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          The laughter in sitcoms are usually recorded by a live audience. I live in southern California and when I was in high school I went on a field trip on three different occasions to be in the studio audience for sitcoms. Granted there was a guy who would come out in between takes making sure our enthusiasm was high when we laughed but it was still real life laughter.

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    I love the shot right after Miley finishes the song where you see the judges booths with the giants Xs. I REALLY wanted them to judge her right there and see those Xs light up due to fake kissing and weird bird dances.

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    Also, how does the Westboro Baptist Church know who Jay-Z is? Or for that matter, is it not a conflict of interest to do a parody of a Lady Gaga song? Like, shouldn’t just mentioning her name melt their mouths or something?

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      i like to think it’s like how all the homophobic politicians are closeted, like the reason fundamentalist Christians become WBC members is because they can’t deal with their feelings w/r/t lady gaga

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    I have mixed feelings on the whole Kristen Stewart thing. When I read her initial comments, I remember thinking that the way she described her feelings about paparazzi was very similar to my feelings whenever I am street-harassed or excessively hit on, all of which are things that result from our rape culture. I don’t think it was the most eloquent thing she’s ever said for sure, though, so it was nice of her to apologize.

    Although admittedly, I would probably give up my first-born for one night with Kristen Stewart in a pair of boyshorts. So, you know, it’s possible that I’m a little biased.

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    i just met rebecca phelps from the westboro baptist church today! they really are just as ridiculous as the videos, there were only three adults actually in the protest.
    the sad thing is that they make their kids join their protests; there was a seven-year old girl holding a sign that said “God Hates Jews” on one side, and “God Hates Fags” on the other side… :(

    but it does makes me laugh to think of them spending so much time listening to michael jackson and lady gaga for the sake of those videos.

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      I saw his son Nate Phelps speak on Friday. The stories he told about what his dad used to make them do, what he sees in his little nieces and nephews…what a sick guy.

      Although, having seen the not-a-kiss kiss, how long before he goes after Miley Cyrus? Think “God Can’t Be Tamed” will be their next video?

      …Sigh…it’d be funny if it weren’t possible.

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      I’m inclined to agree eh. It could be good if they flesh out the show but it doesn’t feel like a “fresh” concept (the Dad on Frasier was a bit of a smart ass), but I’ll give it a go. I love the twitter though.

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    Miley Cyrus can’t be sexy. She’s too awkward, and not in a cute/hot way at all. Like a little kid trying on her mom’s shoes and makeup and then making a lady gaga video. It’s just wrong.

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    That youtube video can’t be embedded anymore ’cause obviously all that user cares about is page views.

    I just have to say that at least Miley Cyrus doesn’t have flappy feathered hands during that performance.

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    I get the kneejerk word choice Kristen Stewart used to describe the paparazzi/being stalked by paparazzi. I truly, totally, 1,000% do. Becoming a star in Hollywood bears such a high price, I don’t know how a young girl could possibly know how to cope with all the attention and excitement that seems to run at max capacity every day. It should speak volumes to know that, in her head, there is enough feeling of violation that that’s the word that jumped out at her.

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    Oh WBC.

    I like that they are not allowed in Canada. That makes me happy.

    I was reading about them a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realized that almost all of the members are related to Fred Phelps. He had a bazillion children, they all got married and had a ton of children, and that is almost their entire “church.” It makes the whole thing more pathetic but not as sad, if you know what I mean. Like it’s more pathetic because it’s just this dude and his cultish family and they call themselves a church and do horrible things and get away with it because what can anyone do, but it’s not as sad because people aren’t actually looking at this going “that’s a good idea, I should join.”

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    1)Miley looked like a mama bird regurgitating a worm into the mouth of a baby bird. This is not sexy unless you are an actual bird, like maybe a do do bird.

    2)What the hell are electronic cigarettes?

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    I assumed that electronic cigarettes were little devices that looked like cigarettes with a little red light on the end so that people could look cool/completely disinterested in their current situation and/or make dramatic gestures with a cig-like thing without having to actually inhale nicotine. I was wrong. There is nicotine vapor and battery chargers. Funny.

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    Can I make a confession?

    At least in the Big Pimpin’ video… some of those WBC girls were kind of hot.

    I’d worry about going to hell if they were high schoolers, but… I mean…

    Mmmm.

    (P.S. I created an account just to post this. I was waiting for an inaugural comment worthy of account creation.)

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