The Basics



About Me


An office low on light and high on disgruntled employees and killer robots.. and doughnuts.

About Me

I roll around an office on a computer chair, occasionally ricocheting off walls and causing fast-paced trolley persons to explode by running into bushes. Some of my signature phrases include ‘suck swivel, scumbag!’.

I was one of the best things about the 90s. Not gonna lie.

(sidenote: changed profile picture may make this whole ‘About Me’ lose substantial relevance as it’s all about a great computer game from the 90s tbh)

Check All That Apply

Lesbian, Gay, Queer


They see me rollin'… they hatin'.

Are You Out To Your....

Member(s) of Immediate Family, Members(s) of Extended Family, Close Friends, All Friends, School/Work, It's Complicated

What I Like

Favorite TV Shows

The Office

Favorite Music

‘They see me rollin’, they hatin’ ‘

Favorite Quotes

My own. I’m quite the quotable guy.

‘Mm, tasty’

‘Suck swivel, scumbag’

‘Eat staples, electrode breath’

Favorite Thing on Autostraddle.com

My super rolley computer chair, obvs.