Dee

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent, where we breathlessly await finding out whether Arthur Chu’s amazing run will ever cease (no, it won’t). This week we have (mostly) returned to our present-day fictional universe, and […]

    • I adore your recaps. They are nuanced and perfect and suit this show so well. I think Transparent somehow became my favourite new show of 2014 because it’s just so ridiculous and painfully real at the same time?

    • Josh and Raquel together make me feel physically ill oh my god.

      (also, i see what you were saying with Bianca but i wanted to point out that the Pfefferman family is Jewish so there are more women of color, albeit white-passing (i am white so I’m no expert but I have Jewish friends))

      • Hey! Even though the women are Jewish, they’re still white, not white passing. Jews who are also women of colour are totally a thing (I.e. The large population of Ethiopian Jews). But just being Jewish by itself doesn’t confer WoC status.

    • Fabulous, just fabulous recap. I love reading these and picking up stuff I glossed over in my two day binge of the series originally – especially the Shelley ‘being done’ in the past and present. That was a huge theme I missed originally. Those last two scenes had me aching.

  • ThumbnailHeyyyy-o it’s your second roundup of links for the week! Remember Monday? We were just babies then! It felt like we’d never graduate and our hair would always be in style. Those were the days. Here are some things […]

  • ThumbnailWell well well look what we have here! A Monday link roundup! What will we dream up next? Tampons that bleed for you? Maybe. Here are some stories we missed between now and the last time we missed stories, which […]

    • laneia, are you sad because nothing precious came your way? i really hope you’re not sad. unless you need to be sad, then be as sad as you can be.

      and when i googled ‘pitbull gif’ as in pitbull puppies doing cute things, silly me, i got this instead

    • I suggested multiple times to OKC about their gender and sexuality options, and they kept telling it’s fine the way it is. Tinder was even worse with one time asking me why the other time we will look into it.

    • guys, I need you.

      maybe this isn’t the place to post this but I got nowhere else to go. I asked my conservative mom if we should ever tell her conservative parents about my girlfriend and I being, y’know, girlfriends. she said no. I asked if they should stay in the dark if I marry my beautiful girlfriend who I want to marry. She said I…[Read more]

      • I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s really hard, I know from experience. My parents are Mexican and conservative catholic. With me, my mom is actually supportive, but my dad is not, to the point where he refuses to stay in a conversation if my girlfriend is mentioned at all, by anyone. They’ve never met and I don’t think they ever will, wedding…[Read more]

    • I hate the C word. That should be banned.

    • Phrase to be banned: “No offense, but…”

      Also, is OKCupid living in the 21st century? Is it really that difficult to offer more options? The “LGBTQIAA+” acronym is seriously lacking in letters…

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. If you’ve been bursting with questions about backstory on this show or the childhoods of our three whippersnappers, YOU […]

    • Everything about this was weird and scary and hard, thank you for ‘capping it so I don’t get blindsided when I get around to stealing my roomate’s prime password

    • Watching this episode was so so stressful but it was so good and I was just like what’s happening?!?!

      Anyway, glad Maura likes Childish Gambino.

    • Mey replied 1 week ago

      This might just be me being bitter from real life experiences, but I thought all the stuff at camp with Maura and Marcy was supposed to show the very wide gap between straight men who crossdress, and actual trans women. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen the crossdressing community act like they’re in the same boat as trans women and…[Read more]

      • Riese replied 1 week ago

        That’s what I picked up too, I thought it was really well-done. I’d never thought about it before, and didn’t realize cis cross-dressers had that gross hostility towards trans women, though it immediately made sense

        • I never experienced hostility from crossdressers. Maybe that was more common 20 years ago, when this episode was supposed to take place, back in the heyday of Tri-Ess when no self-respecting heterosexual crossdresser — especially a married one — was ever supposed to acknowledge that they were trans. And I think this was intended to be a…[Read more]

          • I was specifically talking about cis crossdressers, which I say at the end of my comment. One of them straight up says, “we’re crossdressers, but we’re still men!” I definitely think that any non-binary people who identify as trans are trans, regardless of how they dress or any transition related things they do. But when it comes to cis…[Read more]

            • The thing is that I’ve met a lot of self-identified cis crossdressers who turn out later on to be trans, and quite a few who transition. Regardless of what they originally thought about themselves, or said for public consumption. So I’m not sure it’s possible to say that there’s such a wide gap from trans women for any individual cis…[Read more]

      • (My comment below was supposed to be to you, Mey, and not to Riese.)

    • Riese replied 1 week ago

      you had me at ‘Firs things first: I’m the realest’

    • This episode has been my favorite so far, very insightful to the characters.

      Young Sarah and her friend on the bus are so attractive I want them to star in a spinoff. Perhaps where they explore the world of SoCal college protests in the mid 90’s.

    • So if Ali was 13 in 1994, this means she was born in 1981, and therefore returning gifts from her parents for cash at the age of 33. Just want to make sure I got that right…

      Also, Camp Camellia reminded me of this Harvey Fierstein play that was on Broadway last year called “Casa Valentina”. It was based off a Camp Camellia-esque place…[Read more]

  • Rachel changed their profile picture 1 week ago

  • ThumbnailLord have mercy you will never get through all of this. Maybe next week I’ll do two smaller AAAs and everyone will wake up happy. Here are some of the things we missed while Time magazine was being the absolute […]

    • so happy I have begun my ultimate plan to flood autostraddle with freaky bb possums

    • The adoptee piece and the 20 years after Cho piece just hit me right in the gut. Oh…how I am grateful for this super long AAA and the possum pic to pull me back out of myself.

      “I really despise being looked on as a foreigner because in a lot of ways maybe I wish I was a foreigner. Then I would have a country.” Oof.

    • OMG BANGLADESH!!! :D

    • That clickbait article really was a roller coaster!

    • All of this is incredible, but as someone going through the process (with a partner) of deciding what kind of donor we want to work with – anonymous, a friend, such a difficult decision – I wanna say thank you so much for sharing that second article from Vikki Reich – it’s amazing, so much there that made me think (and yes have a little cry) x

    • re: the organ donation article

      when my brother died, his organs went to several people. about a year after his death, my mom received a call from the hospital informing her that the recipient of his corneas wanted to contact her and thank her and express gratitude. my mom told them the person who deserved the thanks was no longer here to hear…[Read more]

      • lomy thank you for sharing this <3

      • Thank you for sharing this. I havejust received a ligament donation and am super grateful

      • Thank you for sharing this, lomy. I am so sorry to hear about your brother, but know that many people – and not just the recipients, but also their families and friends – are so grateful for his decision to be a donor. It really is such a gift.

        My brother had a liver transplant just over a month ago after suffering for years from end stage…[Read more]

    • So many good links today, thanks for helping me not do work at work!

    • So many things to read! This one should have been called ‘Also.Also.Also.Also.Also.Also…’ (Not complaining though!)

    • you crashed my browser with the number of tabs i tried to open from this article

      THANK YOU

    • Could Banksy be a woman? HELL YES.

    • “Find an article with a decent number of comments in which no one suggests that it is clickbait, and you have found … an article where the comments must have diverted into an even more heated tangent on race, politics, or gluten.”

      PREACH

    • i cannot look at that picture of the possums without making the same face back at my computer.

    • I posted WAYYYY too many links on Facebook while picking through all these. Don’t even curr.

    • The best part of you doing Also.Also.Also is the commentary throughout. Now I want to read all of the things because I want to understand your feelings. I also now at 10+ tabs open…. THANKS LANEIA!

    • Man between this, Lez Liberty Lit, and TIRTIL I’ll be BUSY. Not complaining. Thanks especially for all the links about teachers, parents, and kids.

    • tanis replied 1 week ago

      Stop trying to make FACE happen. It’s not going to happen.

      (Seriously what did they mean by FACE in that Jezebel article, I am at a loss.)

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent, where we find out who among this lovable family of misfits gets to work for Diddy. Let’s dive in!

    We open in a thrift shop? I think? where Ali and Syd are coppin’ it, washin’ it, […]

    • “at every queer event there’s at least one person that you could mistake for Mal Blum”

      Truer word have never been spoken. On a completely unrelated note, I need to go to more queer events….

    • “really thought the lipstick-noise was the sound of Syd kissing Ali on the shoulder, because probably there is something wrong with me, and I almost died.”
      This made me snort and say out loud to my roomate that the best part of the episode was the part you weren’t even watching!?
      But given the maybe hallucinating a whole day part, maybe that…[Read more]

    • Lydia replied 2 weeks ago

      I really want to know people’s guesses on the Ali hallucinating a whole day thing, seriously I am like SO CURIOUS/CONFUSED

      • cb replied 2 weeks ago

        ME TOO

        I’ve been waiting for the recap of this episode! – at least I thought. I guess apparently I’ve been waiting for the next recap instead. where Rachel will make all things clear!

      • Lydia, I thought it was all a function of her deep rooted fear of queerness. She truly wanted to be open enough to date a trans guy, but he had to be “manned up” and made ‘normal’ so he was safe enough for her (and part and parcel of the sexuality she was comfortable with). He had to be the solid, binary-expressing person (as she wished her dad…[Read more]

      • Ali has a fantasized idealistic version of what Dales life would be like. I think we might all do at some point about someone or something. I guess instead of keeping it internalized it played out visually for us. But since everything she is actually familiar with went wrong, she came back to another version of reality.

    • Did Dale just run a creeptastic game of “this was all a test to assess your seriousness?” Cause I feel like this may be what happened here.

    • EJ replied 2 weeks ago

      i just read all these recaps in a row and i love them!!! i haven’t actually watched the show yet but my guess is that ali is supposed to be like so stressed out about gender dynamics and her own gender presentation feelings and how they interact w/ dale’s that she heard the word “femme” and felt like she needed to be really…[Read more]

    • Just my opinion… I HATED the talent show sequence. Producers: Let’s see, what kind of entertainment can trans people provide… oh yeah, a campy drag number! Never mind that Alexandra Billings is an extremely talented singer, let’s just have them put on silly outfits, goofy wigs and lip sink. Believe it or not, there are many talented musicians,…[Read more]

      • agree; it made me uncomfortable and seemed unnecessary to do it that way. it didn’t occur to me to think of it as a trans issue exactly, though, so much as them falling back on the idea of talent shows themselves being cheesy, a la middle school talent shows or something. no matter how you look at it, it was a pretty lame way for the show to go…[Read more]

    • just letting you know your excerpt was ace rachel

    • all of your recaps are hilarious but this one was especially hilarious, highlights include all of the captions and:

      “let’s be honest, at every queer event there’s at least one person that you could mistake for Mal Blum”

      ” i have to say that interrupting a kinky first date mid sex toy shopping in order to attend an LGBT center talent show…[Read more]

    • Josh WISHES he was Gob.

    • You are so so funny, and these recaps are the best!

  • ThumbnailHello, has everyone recovered from the phone sex on Scandal? Yes? Ok, let’s talk about Grey’s then.

    Arizona’s shacking it up at the hospital. Do doctors actually do this? Like oh shit, my wife and I are […]

    • Riese replied 2 weeks ago

      I HAVE NOT RECOVERED FROM THE PHONE SEX ON SCANDAL

      • I wanted to like it but my aversion for Fitz didn’t let me…
        But having Tom stabbed was genius, as was using the daughter in the senator’s campaign commercial…

      • LETS HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHT

      • Hold me tight forever, because I never want to recover from the phone sex on Scandal! Also, network television seems to finally be stepping up their game, and I am rather impressed.

    • First of all, my answer to the question “Is there hope for Calzona” is, at this point, I hope not. In the last two episodes Callie has been getting on my nerves big time.

      Secondly, Dr. Geena Davis should see one Dr. Hair Commercial. The show has established that he is like the Rambo of brain tumors. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if it…[Read more]

      • The residency at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries made me snort out loud

      • i want to love Maggie Pierce, I really do but she always looks like she just sucked on a lemon.
        But may your love for her shine like a thousand suns.

    • Callie is seriously getting on my nerves.
      And Yeah, brain tumor? Derek is right there. He saves people that are practically dead on a weekly basis. Schedule an appointment, okay?

    • I thought Geena’s ‘personal problem’ was going to be ‘Me and MY hot dr wife are getting a divorce!’ and then Arizona would have been like ‘Omg same, wanna get blazed and fuck?’

    • “But if you give a mouse a cookie, it will never leave, and that’s how lesbians get married.” Best. Caption. Ever. Gabby

      I cannot wait for the genius that will (surely) be Oscar Winner Geena Davis With A Brain Tumor.

      Also, why hasn’t she had an appointment with Derek? She definitely needs to see Dr. Derek “It’s A Beautiful Day To Save Lives”…[Read more]

    • I don’t watch this show..like all that. But I might start. Cuz Davis is on it now, for however long. And Davis is lookin good. Old, but somehow better than ever. And it could just be me, but is it not glaringly obvious that Arizona and Hinton are totally gonna bang?

  • ThumbnailHey my living room is covered in fairy lights and artificial cranberry branches! I’m not saying I’ve decorated for the holidays, but I’ve definitely decorated for something. Here are 78k things we missed while I […]

    • Before reading this, I didn’t even know how much I wanted a Bend It Like Beckham musical.

    • I bet the vampire deer loves Bram Stoker’s Rackula. And also the movie From Dusk Till Dawn. :p

    • OMG YES! Bend it Like Beckham was my favourite movie for like forever during my teenage years. It may not be my favourite anymore, but it hold a very special place in my heart. So now that they are combining it with my other favourite thing (musicals) I am just… wow… I… WOW!

    • Gonna be controversial here, but I’d rather have a gay remake of Bend It Like Beckham than a musical. Just saying.

    • yes i think we can do that

    • “Bend it Like Beckham” was one of my go-to movies in high school! This is awesome! Now hopefully, the producers will cast South Asian actors for the roles.

    • I think I will have to avoid looking at the sky to avoid seeing my own white blood cells for a while. Curiosity will probably win out in the end, though.

    • OMG, how did I not know that national cat day was last week? There’s a cat in a BEAKER. It’s a STEM cat. It makes me happy. (And it’s the first cloned cat, how cool is that?)

      Also, I must try the eyeball thing the next time the sun actually decides to shine. Don’t mind me, I’m just staring at my blood cells.

    • I am one of those people freaking out (to some degree) over Serial. Thanks for the interview link.

    • …And here I thought the spider researcher was receiving death threats from overzealous arachnophobes.

      Also, those tiny images are amazing!

      And I really want a cat sweater like that.

      There is so much good stuff in this thread.

    • ugh. Serial. ugh. Slowly killing me. So good. So desperate for some sort of definite answer.

      • Yes! Can’t wait to listen to tomorrows episode. I was starting to believe Adnan had nothing to do with it, but last weeks episode put doubts in my mind. I still think Jay played a huge part.

    • really would die for you and rachel to have matching cat sweaters with mouths you can zip open WOULD JUST DIE

      If we asked nicely, do you think Taylor Hatmaker and Alley Hector would recreate this image for Autostraddle.com?
      I really hope so I really want this
      this is what my heart wants

    • laneia what if i made us those sweatshirts for xmas. what then.

  • ThumbnailGot my hair cut. Short. Shaved sides. Even got my eyebrows did.

    Ghurl, my shit is looking correct.

    I scraped my pennies together and indulged in some self-care. Hit up mi hombre, Hermán, at the barber shop […]

    • THIS!

      This right here.

      This. Is. Everything.

    • loved this. i get sir-ed a lot the week i cut my hair, but much less the next week, when it’s what, 1/8 inch longer? weird.

      • right! like what is the difference?

        • maybe it’s in how you’re carrying yourself when the haircut is fresh and new and you’re feelin’ real good about it – something in the way you’re “on display” that maybe changes once the haircut isn’t new news

    • I found this to be very interesting top that needs to be delved into more. I also, think cruising depends on location, time & atmosphere. I had men mistake me for male vs trans* gq at clubs, and it has been similar to the hollering, but face touch face close. Men who are into men in a club/bar scene can be grabby without asking, and I have seen…[Read more]

    • Brotha G I read that whole article in your voice. Keep lookin’ fly. Great article. Lots of interesting points to talk about.

      • thanks, Brother V. what stood out for you?

        • Well at first I thought this was being written in response to that catcall video thats been circling the net so I thought youd written about a first hand experience. But then you started talking about cruising and ‘hi papi’ and it occurred to me that stuff like that can happen. I was like oh yeah omg why havent i seen it before?

          Also your…[Read more]

    • This is a really great perspective that you don’t usually hear on this topic. It’s interesting what people assume about us just because of how we look. And how those assumptions influence the way they treat us.

      PS – You’re lookin’ good gurl.

      • Hi Ava! i just wish we were allowed to be human and curious minus all the violence and predatory behavior that comes w living in the patriarchy.

        • Exactly. It baffles me that men still don’t get that treating a woman like a human being instead of a piece of ass will yield much better results.

      • There we go. Someone put into words the things I wanted to say!! Why cant we human without all the assumptions based on how we look or talk or wear. Its almost crazy you know. I mean Ive walked around with my sister and her kids and you know the kids will hold my hand and people will be like youre lesbians? Im like I AM but we’re sisters.

        • Right? I look feminine, so if I’m getting unwanted attention from a man and I tell him I’m married (which I am – to a woman) he typically assumes I have a husband. And I let him think that, because it feels safer that way. How fucked up is that?

          • OMG THATS SOOOOO TRUE. When a guy says oh so youre going home to your bf/husband etc and im like no i like girls theyre like no you dont, stop playing. Wtf people

    • Interesting read. I can appreciate this article and it’s honesty.

    • This is such a good read. I read it on your blog and then again here. Thanks for your words.

    • Thank you for this. Food for thought.

    • I love your prose. This is so eloquent, and something here really resonated.

      My presentation leans center-of-the-spectrum to slightly femme; I have a short(ish) gender-neutral haircut and don’t like to show the curves of my body. I wish to be recognized as female, but I don’t want the sexualization of my body by men.

      Very insightful piece…[Read more]

    • I really felt this.

    • Very interesting read

    • I feel the opposite way, honestly.

      Because when I’m hollered at as-a-women, I know that the dudes don’t see me as a person. I feel safer being objectified because dudes don’t expect an object to fight back, don’t expect an object with all these curves and soft edges to have any hard on them. I have the element of surprise on my side if…[Read more]

    • I loved this so much!
      Your style of writing is so great.

    • I read this on your tumblr and I’m glad it got reposted to Autostraddle. Such a great piece.

    • Yesssssssssssssss. Thank you for this. claro que si i can’t articulate as well as I’d like why this really resonated with me but it diiid. also lets talk forever and ever about cruising for queers because we just gotta. spotting/relishing in/acknowledging/appreciating/recognizing/falling in love for a few seconds with a queer stranger on the…[Read more]

    • “Being cruised is what happens when heterosexism is pushed aside for a minute. It’s what would happen, I imagine, if none of our interests —sexual, spiritual, emotional — were shackled to any sort of expectations. In a world where no one expects anyone else to be straight, people could reach out to whoever they wanted to or not.”

      Ah this is…[Read more]

    • I often like what people say to me on the street, as long as it’s not threatening. Like, when a woman told me my aura hit her in the face, or a man told me he could tell I was anxious by the way I was holding my hands. People on the street give us so much FEEDBACK about how we’re presenting, without knowing at all who we are.

      “Being cruised is…[Read more]

    • You know, I met you once, when Riese was on a queer blog panel at NYU, years ago. I didn’t know your writing very well back then, but I wish I had, because I wish I could have told you how much it resonates.

      It’s strange how shifts in gender signifiers change how people respond to you on the street. Like, I got hollered at and honked at just…[Read more]

    • mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmf, wow

    • Dude. I just love you so much, is all.

    • This is super, super interesting. I think about this kind of thing sometimes, when I’m walking down the street, and maybe I look a little more masculine, and I’m wondering what men see when they look at me. You bring up some really interesting points here. I’m just going to think about this for a while. I especially like how you mention the…[Read more]

    • Thank you for this awesome piece. I’ve always enjoyed cruising with queer dudes when it happens. (I also have not had bad experiences with it so it’s easier for me to enjoy it.)

      I love queer cruising in general, partly because the mainstream denies us our sexuality and sexual agency in so many ways and this is a way we validate and revel in it…[Read more]

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent, where one family must demonstrate their knowledge of questions about history, geography and mythology and make the final Temple Run in under three minutes and retrieve a valuable […]

    • I need more of this show! Has it been renewed? This episode was really good and Len was awful.

    • Rachel your recaps really make my Fridays better.

      I wish my Amazon Prime free trial hadn’t run out so I could go look more closely at what it says on the Women’s Studies whiteboard. I loved that scene. I also want more Syd always.

      • Mey replied 3 weeks ago

        My favorite part of the whiteboard was the scare quotes around “ex” in Deus “ex” Machina.

    • I loved how Maura handled the Len thing- she did it with such class and such… humanness? Is that a word? I don’t know how anyone can be so kind when someone is being that threatening.

      Being Jew(ish) I felt super touched by the lighting of the candles. It reminded me of Janani’s poem ‘trans/national’ when he talks about his grandmother in…[Read more]

    • Linds replied 3 weeks ago

      I’ve only read the recaps, haven’t actually watched the show, but I have ALLTHEFEELINGS about that Ali/Dale exchange.

      As a masculine-leaning genderqueer person who mostly likes masculine presenting people, including trans men, I would love to see that portrayed in the media (as it seems like Ali is/will be genderqueer and that’s a big part of…[Read more]

    • Mey replied 3 weeks ago

      Another great recap!

      Ugh, Len was so horrible in this episode! One thing this show does really well is show just how awful transphobes really are.

    • Can’t quite get over how lesbophobic that scene with Ali was.

    • Ellie replied 3 weeks ago

      I’ve really enjoyed all the Transparent recaps, thanks Rachel! And this is a genius analogy:
      “Trying to figure out a weeknight dinner with the non-custodial parent is like trying to get troops across the Alps and also they’re all riding gazelles and are blindfolded.”

    • I belly laughed so hard at the not all men sequence of photos and captions, and I am in the process of making it my new computer background. THANK YOU THANK YOU

  • Well I’m tired of all my Halloween decorations and I’m ready for it to be spring. How’s it going with you? Here’s some stuff we missed while I was glaring at that pile of pumpkins on the table!

     
    You […]

    • such riches, here

    • Seriously Cartoon Network? Seriously?

    • Ah, I love these “Also” posts! I actually had never heard the broom legend.

      I could relate to the cat rituals of coming home and leaving, the belly rub part reminded me of this cartoon by the oatmeal (who is a hilarious seattle web-comic author if you aren’t familiar with him) – http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kitty_pet

      Regarding the south -…[Read more]

      • My experience of Washington State – you’ve got a progressive strip along the eastern part of the Sound and the rest is pretty conservative. Most of the people live in that strip, though.

        • The eastern side of the mountains is a lot more conservative, for sure. It’s like two different states: both politically and geographically. I actually grew up on the western side, but in a somewhat more inland/rural area.

    • I suspect that broomstick thing is a Phallusy.

      (can’t take credit for this joke…its a Terry Pratchett.)

    • I am soooooo tired of hearing that the South is the last hold out for gayness and that the North and West are pillars of safety for the LGBTQ community. I come from a Louisiana family, but grew up in NJ–and I’ve seen homophobia in both places. I’ve seen acceptance in both places. This idea that the South is backward when it comes to gay rights is…[Read more]

      • “Homophobia exists everywhere, in every “gay-friendly” city, in every “conservative” state. Acceptance is also found everywhere–north, south, east, west.”
        ^YEP!

        Cool fact about Mississippi; I did not know that.

    • You had me at “Joan Jett pants” but lost me again at “Hot Topic.”

  • ThumbnailYou’ve likely already heard about Emma Sulkowicz, the brave Columbia student who has committed to carrying her dorm mattress with her around campus for as long as her rapist continues to attend the school as a […]

    • Heads up, Emma Sulkowicz posted this op-ed about the event which is worth a read!

      http://columbiaspectator.com/opinion/2014/10/26/call-carry-weight-together

      • I like Emma’s thoughts about the pillows. I think people will carry them with good intentions, but it also might distract/take away from the intention of carrying the weight of a mattress. The red x is a good alternative to show support and willing to help.

      • Can the autostraddle article be amended to add Emma’s comments about the pillows from the article Kayla posted? Emma’s already had her struggle dismissed and misrepresented so many times. It would be awful if if this group effort based on her protest is contorted into something she feels misrepresents her message.

  • Annie and Profile picture of AmandaAmanda are now friends 3 weeks, 4 days ago

  • ThumbnailCamaradas, welcome. We’ve got some serious business to attend to. But first, about last week, I swear I didn’t mean to stand you up but nothing gay happened on Grey’s. All of the gay happened on How to Get Away […]

    • I can admit that I was really hoping for them to make it at the end =/. Had me all crying.. shit good job Greys

      • i always cry at things, especially Grey’s stuff but I didn’t shed a tear during this episode. it’s like damn, something had to give. made me think about my own relationship and how careful i gotta be about making sure to include time for all the things that make me happy. otherwise, it becomes all about a shared relationship identity and that…[Read more]

      • Maybe I was just looking for an example of a happy relationship

    • I’m not actually mad that they broke up like I thought I would be. Cos this episode really actually made us understand that they’re better apart. I just hope and pray that Callie turns back into Badass Bisexual Babe and dances in her underwear and maybe fucks a hot doctor of colour yknow?

      • Ay yes, can you plz write that episode and bring it to Shonda? I’ll drive and make you some sandwiches bc obviously you’re my soulmate.

        if that’s too much pressure we can also just be frengs.

        • It depends on what’s in the sandwiches tho.

          (Lorde how much do I suddenly want to retrain as a scriptwriter so that I can make sure that Calliope stays rad forever and ever and never has to cry her big doe eyes tears ever again??)

    • BUT ALSO THIS WAS TOO REAL AND TOO MANY LESBIAN FEELINGS WERE HAD AND I WISH THAT I HAD WATCHED IT WHILST BEING SPOONED

    • I normally get the Final Decision based on the emotional arch of the episode but this time I didn’t understand why Callie decided on breaking up this time, which is why I didn’t cry, it left me a bit cold?

      I hope they make it in the end tho, if only for all the years I had to endure Yang being with the tiring as hell Owen Hunt.

      • OWEN IS SO FUCKIN BORING AND IM SO WORRIED HE WILL END UP FUCKING CALLIE AND HE IS SO NOT WORTHY :((

      • I think Callie finally remembered what it was like to be herself. She was so caught up on being Arizona’s partner and also, never fully taking the time to process what they’d been through for herself, that she got super lost.

        Callie saw herself and what was she was becoming and didn’t like it. So she had to bounce. But what I think and what I…[Read more]

        • Your explanation makes a lot of sense. I think the problem for me is that the episode itself didn’t make me feel these feelings and that was weird. I’m used to Grey’s making me emotionally caught up with their shit no matter how many times they use the same tricks, it always works, but this time it just… didn’t.

          I do agree that their…[Read more]

    • I have a lot of thoughts about this episode.

      It was brilliantly acted by both women and they made sure to hit on all of Calzona’s issues. They also highlighted a glaring problem I have always had with this couple, which is JESUS CHRIST CALLIE, LET ARIZONA GET A WORD IN BEFORE JUDGING HER! Callie was jumping to all sorts of conclusions about…[Read more]

      • I’m with you. I’ll be surprised if Jcap doesn’t leave by end of S11. I think her contract is actually up at the end anyway so it looks like she won’t renew to me… but of course this is Grey’s and anything could happen. I hate the thought of losing out on a great lesbian character that could be developed a lot more.

        I also think Callie will…[Read more]

      • Ay, I think it’s time Grey’s sailed off into the sunset, you know? Like, give it a rest.

        I’m with you though about how much effort went in to this episode. Like I don’t think we’ll see Calzona again until at least Christmas.

        If they put Callie with a man, then I hope they bring in a new man cuz all the men on Grey’s are so tired. Like, Owen…[Read more]

        • Hey, Gabrielle!

          IMO, Grey’s really should have ended a few seasons ago. It’s been on since like 2005 and has lasted longer than it’s own spin-off, Private Practice. They are running out of shit to do which is why we are constantly seeing the longer running couples arguing about the same shit over and over. It’s gotten to the point where they…[Read more]

      • Wow finally someone who’ve seen this show like I have. Arizona has always been there for the purpose of Callie and I’ve always found it super annoying, like I have no idea who she is without the Calzona arc. I’m glad they broke up because I would love to know Arizona but as you’ve pointed out, it’s looking like she’ll get the chop. Which really…[Read more]

    • Callie said out loud (for the first time, I think) the world “bisexual”(twice!) and my ears didn’t fell off! Nobody’s ears fell off! See, tv shows? You can say it. It’s not that hard.

      As for their break up, I was sad, yes, but I was so tired of seeing them constantly fighting that I think maybe it’s better this way. Hopefully this will bring…[Read more]

    • This episode broke my heart but your recap made me laugh til I snorted.

    • Obviously this really means that Arizona never wanted to have a family with Callie and probs hates Callie for making sex with a man and getting knocked up. The best way to handle arguments with your partner is to assume the worst of them.

      UGH YES I WANT TO QUOTE EVERYTHING IN THIS RECAP BECAUSE YOU DID A PERFECT JOB. I was ready to come into…[Read more]

      • My biggest or only concern with the breakup of Calzona is definitely that they will fade Arizona in the background. As I said, the storytelling for that couple has always been Callie focused anyway. We have only ever had a handful of episodes devoted to Arizona that had nothing to do with her relationship to Callie. I don’t want them to forget…[Read more]

        • Completely agreed! Arizona has been kinda unanchored since well, forever, but probably especially after Teddy left. April and Arizona is weird, but that’s maybe just because I still don’t really understand April.

      • thank you, fikri!

        i’ll quit grey’s if this is the end of calzona. like there are ways to work through this. i also don’t like the idea of ditching a marriage when things aren’t working out.

        and you’re right, in retrospect, Arizona’s weirdness definitely had more to do with Callie’s history w Mark than with her being with a man. Callie’s bad…[Read more]

    • See my problem is I don’t accept the writers making Arizona be a cheater in the first place, so none of this stuff they’re going through now feels earned or real. Arizona cheating was a hack writer decision, totally out of the blue and out of character. And hey Shonda guess what? Not everyone fucking cheats on their partner after a few years. UGH.

      • YO YES! i never ever liked those cheating story lines. you’re so right, they never fit Arizona’s character. Just like, nagging and being obnoxious doesn’t fit Callie.

        the whole thing can just go to hell.
        jk

    • Ugh, I was so bored by this episode. Almost as bored as I was by the Owen/Yang endless I want a baby vs What part of “I don’t want kids ever” do you not understand endless loop.

      Speaking of, I got Callie/Owen vibes in the episode with the prosthetic for the wounded soldier so I would not be surprised if they went there. And hey, they both want…[Read more]

      • AAAAH, BOTH CALLIE AND OWEN WANT KIDS!I HAVEN’T THOUGHTOF THAT!EVEN MORE WORRIED IN ALL CAPS NOW!!

        • Don’t forget that Alternate Universe episode where Callie and Owen are married with kids. I know I haven’t. I’m going to pray that this is not where everything is heading. Owen has his own set of issues and I don’t think he’s going to be any better for Callie than Arizona was. He might be much worse.

    • I haven’t watched Grey’s since…umm…well, their wedding? Anyways, my lesbian newsfeed was wailing in angst over the breakup of Calzona, so I read this recap (which was well done!). My takeaway message is assurance that even at our lowest points, I’m in a healthier relationship than Calzona, so that’s good to know.

    • The Grey-Callie bonding was awesome and I hope that continues over the Hunt-Callie bonding.

      Also the Grey-Callie convo on gayness is so real. As the token biracial bisexual in my very straight white girl friend group I have in fact been asked that question by drunk girls. And I’ve drunkenly asked them similar questions to the same effect of…[Read more]

    • This episode was REALLY difficult to watch. I cried. It really bothers me, the lack of representation of lesbian relationships that last. When I was younger, my mom always pointed out that they never lasted, lesbian relationships. So I wanted badly for Callie and Arizona to work. I get why they didn’t, but it was still hard.
      It was just hard.

    • You’re awesome for being so not bias. Rare! Comical review.

      They need this break. I’m down for whatever hapoens next CUZ it has to be better than that toxic marriage.

    • Well this caption had me chuckling:

      “Couples therapist by day. Linda Belcher at night.”

    • Missed watching this episode and all of Shonda-day cause I was escorting my baby gay friend around Bourbon, where one should never be alone regardless of their alcohol consumption. Kinda glad I missed it cause I don’t think I would have been okay because Callie’s ending speech about “trying to constantly fix” hit me hard.

      Brought me back to a…[Read more]

    • - The gay that happened on How to Get Away with Murder was insane…
      – couples therapy looked a little scary
      – Callie interrupting Arizona all the time was really pissing me off
      – in fact Callie, with her baby obsession and the whole “you never wanted Sofia”, was pissing me off.
      – i would DVR the hell out of The Real Lesbian Housewives MD of…[Read more]

      • the gay that happened on HTGAWM was so so hot tho.
        and hi, please eat all the cheeseburgers forever. haha.

        have you been to camp yet? did we meet and i not know it was you or WAIT DID WE MEET CUZ I’M REMEMBERING…but maybe it’s all just a big blur of love.

        • I went the previous two camps and I was in a couple of your panels, the one about about biracial relationships was very interesting…
          Next time I’ll introduce myself
          Cheeseburgers forever!

    • I always thought Calzona was on shaky ground ever since Arizona got back from Africa, and I’m glad it was at least somewhat acknowledged in this episode. Callie was heartbroken and angry that Arizona had left, and when Arizona returned, it was like “If you want me, you have to also want me brand new baby and her father too becuz we’re a package…[Read more]

      • Again, as someone who hasn’t actually seen an episode since their wedding, I’m definitely on #TeamArizona for this mix. The issue of having kids is more than enough for a serious problem in a relationship, and I can’t believe anyone would want to badger their partner into having kids (without that being a dealbreaker).

      • I used to get trampled on on Afterellen for being Team Arizona. I wish you were there…

      • I’m 1000% Team Arizona. I think Callie really mishandled the plane crash situation and has always been a little too snotty super rich girl for my tastes, and I think it’s impacted her relationship with Arizona, who has a very different background (not nearly as wealthy, and full of trauma)
        I mean, Callie has her endearing moments, but I still…[Read more]

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent, the show where you get to feel every emotion on the emotion chart ranging from “confusion, sadness at Josh’s shirt collars” to “full on panic attack.”

    The emotion we start out […]

    • Dina replied 4 weeks ago

      Once again, you managed to capture all my feels. I love you, Maura, but your kids are THE WORST

      • I feel exactly the same way. I really like watching Maura’s story, but damn, those kids are so messed up. Especially Ali.

    • Madge replied 4 weeks ago

      There is too much feeling to comment on properly. Great recap. I think that chart is the perfect thing to describe my reactions to the show. I love how one minute a character can be so wonderful, then the next they are being giant arseholes – either by action or omission.

      Also glad I wasn’t the only one hoping for lesbian rabbi. There’s just…[Read more]

    • First and foremost, these recaps are the best.
      So the kids’ tendency to like, super casually reference the whole Rita thing with one another continues to confuse me. Shouldn’t they at least be as creeped out as I am?
      And I am ALL about day drinking but when there is a lovely older gentleman in need of assistance, maybe put down the alcohol?…[Read more]

    • Fun fact: that real estate lady (Deborah Craig) was in Unicorn Plan-It.

    • What trans woman takes Premarin anymore? Nobody I heard of was prescribing it even 14 years ago when I started HRT; the do-it-yourselfers weren’t taking it either. Apart from the ethical implications, it’s more expensive, and not supposed to be as effective as what people usually take.

      That said, I distinctly remember the day I first started…[Read more]

    • Ok something’s been bothering me. You know how Tammy’s weird about touching boobs? It’s making me feel like I’m weird about touching boobs. HOW DO YOU TOUCH THE BOOBS?- without evoking weird clown-nose references from Rachel? (Someone should write a post on this)

    • So, Tammy’s daughter-in-law, a WOC, shows up, and Sarah offers her the chance to be the summer help? That’s…..that’s….yeah wow. It seems Sarah has had the best reaction to Maura coming out, but that Alli is otherwise the least selfish except for the racial fetishizing of her trainer and his friend, and that…you know what, I think Maura…[Read more]

      • All of the children (Tammy’s, Sarah’s and Len’s etc) should be taken by Maura and Davina to be raised at the Shangri-La, where rules about loud music will be more strictly enforced.
        I really can’t tell which of the children is the most terrible by the end of the season. Josh seems to be the grossest but his molestation at least explains how he…[Read more]

      • As terrible and self-absorbed as all the kids are… you kinda start to see, coming in future episodes, why that is. I’m trying not to spoil things.

  • ThumbnailLISTEN UP GHOSTBUSTERS, you only have one week of Halloween excitement left before it’s all over and the world forces you to move on to Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s Eve! You’re gonna be a sad, sad […]

  • ThumbnailI made Hasselback potatoes on Sunday with some roasted garlic and a salad and HOLY BEES THEY WERE DELICIOUS. Here’s a smattering of 80 things we missed while I was clapping my hands together and giggling […]

    • Sam replied 1 month ago

      It is entirely within the realm of possibility that my bedroom will soon be decorated with loo roll cats…

      • Hat replied 1 month ago

        I saw a thing in pinterest where you can make them into gift boxes…wondering how my family would react come Christmas morning!

        • jane replied 1 month ago

          If your family doesn’t react well to presents wrapped like cats, you should maybe think about replacing them with a newer, better family.

    • Ohh Rachel Maddow :)! You never seem to surprise me at all

    • Hat replied 1 month ago

      E-Page proving once again that the short person can be the bigger person…and the most awesome person.

      (P.S. I say this from the lowly height of 5’0″)

    • SO MANY THINGS TO READ!!!

    • I love Nadia Boltz-Weber so much, I loved her book (Pastrix) and I don’t understand why because I don’t do religion but it softened my heart on the subject.

    • Agree^^^! I want to be the next Rachel Maddow :)

    • Mary replied 1 month ago

      !!! So many great articles on here! This is why I need Autostraddle: I’m horrible at finding where on the Internet all the interesting/well-written/not totally shitty things are by myself and I’m just very impressed at/grateful for this wonderful collection of links.

    • Al replied 1 month ago

      Thank goodness for that Rachel Maddow video to cheer me up after reading the NY article and Salon article. On a side note, I am pretty sure thanks to XM radio made my father a bit of a Rachel Maddow fan. I’ve yet to tell him that she’s gay as fuck, cause even right leaning people who have phobic tendencies need some enlightenment.

    • Dina replied 1 month ago

      Oh that lady who thinks she’s bad at being bi needs a hug and a rainbow cupcake.

      • Some days I totally feel like that lady. I am going to make myself a rainbow cupcake now.

    • I feel I should point out that a lot of queer trans girls in portland are pretty pissed off about the name of the “All Jane No Dick” comedy fest. For reasons that I think should be obvious to anyone who reads a blog like Autostraddle.

      Their response has been predictably inflexible. I like Portland less and less all the time.

    • Ooh, those are adorable cats! I am not very craft-savvy, but I am cat-savvy, and it is raining and my cat is purring and I just finished off a toilet paper roll.

    • Also, I think an all-woman mission to Mars sounds awesome. (I mean, we’ve had plenty of all-men expeditions throughout history, so why is an all-woman mission such a strange idea?)

    • Patti replied 1 month ago

      I love Rachel Maddow. I think Sleater Kinney’s “Youth Decay” is actually about eating disorders and about silencing ones voice, not actually tooth decay. Still, enjoyed her list.

  • ThumbnailWelcome back to Transparent and the episode where we’ll finally find out whether Gordon Ramsay’s new recipe for crab cakes is enough to bring this family business back from the brink. Just kidding, instead this is […]

    • “Are lots of people into having sex initiated by someone squeezing their breast like it’s a clown’s nose?” yea

      I can’t hardly wait to recap #9

    • Weez replied 1 month ago

      Boob squeezer here. I’m like a 13-year-old boy. BOOBS! I don’t know why. I have them and yet I find them fascinating. (There, I said it. I live it.)

      Ali scamming money off of Maura was definitely not cool. You are being totally rational! Especially because the show has made it clear that she gives all her kids plenty of money when they ask…[Read more]

    • I think Maura is actually a very bizarre name for her character. It’s an Irish name, derived from Maureen and Mary, not something a Jewish woman of her age would have ever been named. Religious Jew or not, I can’t help thinking Maura would experience some sort of dissonance how none of the women in her family or that she grew up with ever had a…[Read more]

      • As usual, I find myself agreeing with you. The “second adolescence” excuse for immature behavior has always bothered me a great deal (although it bothers me more when it’s used as an excuse for treating people badly). Yes, I went through a kind of second puberty when I transitioned, and yes, I had a lot to learn about certain aspects of…[Read more]

      • Riese replied 1 month ago

        Yeah I’d always thought she’d picked Maura herself because it was the female name closest to “Mort.” I was so surprised to see it was somebody else’s idea.

    • I thought i was the only one who had some boundaries of things one can talk about with siblings/family members. guess we are bought prudes?

      • Riese replied 1 month ago

        i always imagined that maybe it was different for sisters than it was for like sisters/brothers, like i have a brother i can’t imagine talking like that to and also rachel has a brother but maybe everybody out there who has sisters could tell me ‘no riese that’s not how it works’, i might be projecting because i could talk to my imaginary sister…[Read more]

        • I definitely talk to my sister about personal things – we’re close and we are similar in age, so talking about our lives, including our sex lives, just seems natural. I do leave out any graphic details, but I do that with most of my friends as well.

        • I might mention squirting though, to my brother, because it’s hilarious and kind of gross, in the way that I’d mention other hilarious and gross bodily function stories. We are quite close and very open.

        • KP replied 1 month ago

          Yeah I think it’s a close sister thing. I have like, a million sisters (5) but I’m really only close to one of them, and she knows all the dirty nasty details and I know all of hers. In retrospect that’s probably why we always feel a tiny bit awkward when actually meeting each other’s partners…

    • I’m really appreciating the Dig Me Out caption.

    • Mey replied 1 month ago

      I was really upset that when Ali sobered up she was reacting so badly to Maura’s coming out, but her caked-on, completely-different-color face after the makeovers was absolutely amazing.

      Also that bathroom scene was HARD TO WATCH.

    • Riese replied 1 month ago

      Rachel your recaps are really funny I love you

    • Sarah replied 1 month ago

      When are they going to stop calling Maura ‘Dad’? Sarah could not have been more tactless in the bathroom scene; you just want to tell her to be cool! Also, I think Moppa is kind of cute/similar to Muppet?

      • I’ve been thinking a lot about this… should they just stop calling her “dad”? I’d like to know Maura’s point of view on this, in my head it makes sense for their kids to call her “dad” but probably causes pain to Maura?

        • Just to throw in a trans parent’s input… I’ve heard trans people who are parents (I used to facilitate a support group for them) be all over the place on this subject. Some people truly don’t mind if their kids call them their pre-transition parental titles, while others come up with some new creative way of saying it (I think Jennifer Boylan’s…[Read more]

          • Just a p.s. to the comment I posted a few minutes ago, regarding your last sentence: my former spouse — my son’s mother — made it very clear to my son when I transitioned 9 years ago (when he was 15) that she would not under any circumstances ever accept the notion that I could also be called “Mom,” and would view it as a usurpation on my part,…[Read more]

        • In my experience, a great many trans women who have children — especially when the transition takes place when the children are older, or even adults — leave the choice of whether their children see them as fathers or mothers entirely up to their children. In fact, I feel strongly that it should be left to the children; it’s generally more…[Read more]

      • Ten replied 1 month ago

        I have a friend with a parent who’s a trans woman, and he refers to her as his dad, at least to other people. For example, he’d say, “my dad is a woman.” I haven’t met the parent in question so I’m not sure how she feels about this, but he seems otherwise completely supportive of her.

    • I just wanted to say that I’ve never seen anyone else on T.V. look more like me without any makeup on than the Ali’s character. Seriously it’s weirding me out.

    • KP replied 1 month ago

      Rachel, this recap is awesome! I was really critical at first but it seems like you’ve really gotten into the swing of the show and I keep sitting here cackling at work while reading which is more than a little awkward. *Thumbs up emoji for you!

    • Kate replied 1 month ago

      the question is, where is the tara reference actually from, buffy or true blood?

    • Kofi replied 1 month ago

      This show is really putting me through the rinse cycle, y’all.

  • ThumbnailThere is so much here I don’t think you’ll ever get through it all. Hope you have a snack and a water bottle! Here are most of the things we missed while I was crying because my precious angel computer STILL WON’T […]

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