Listling Without Commentary: Selected Email Subject Lines Sent From Riese to Laneia Between 2009 and 2011

Posted byLaneia

on January 7, 2011

1. we should ask this girl to write an article for us like effin' dykes, phantom planet just came on my genius playlist. SO NOT AN ACTUAL GENIUS. what if we all lived in the same city.

2. do we have anyone writing anything to get published tomorrow?

3. um can someone team pick something (or write a df?) when they wake up 'cause i just realized we don't have anything on deck

4. if [article] was a vagina, it would be impenetrably dry

5. somebody needs to write about this

6. do we know any lesbian teachers?

7. people yelled at us on this post

8. lesbian sex

9. cherub

10. ok i know this looks like one of those 2am emails

11. who wants it/who could we give it to

12. do we have anyone who could write about this

13. a really deep thought

14. i found this in my drafts folder when looking for something else

15. fucking fantastic

16. i am dyrunk so if there is no tdaily fix in the morning then try to keep everybd'y's spirits high i will wake up by 11 or isjh

17. when we move to berkeley and can live a more edgy rockstar yet nurturing/organic lifestyle

18. i hate excerpts

19. PUNCTUATION. IS THAT SO HARD FOR [redacted]? TO CAPITAZLIZE WORDS? THIS IS FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE, I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR THE DOCTOR IN FIVE MINUTES. PERIODS. @SOURCES. CAPITALIZING LETTERS

20. will you comment on my article so people will think i'm cool?

21. i mean the dixie chicks' makes me cry too

22. btw the sister spit thing is priority over pants

23. fwd: tess' voicemails

24. beginning to fix a serious problem you have in your life right now regarding ani difranco

25. WE ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE

47 responses to “Listling Without Commentary: Selected Email Subject Lines Sent From Riese to Laneia Between 2009 and 2011”

C.
January 8, 2011 at 12:23 am Permalink Reply

Hilarious. As you all say, “THIS”. Oh shoot it’s 12:19am Saturday morning. See how awesome Autostraddle behind the scenes is? Rock on!
I’m so self conscious now of being the only autostraddler (does that word only apply to AS staff? Can I use it too? It’s cool) online now or are your posts queued?

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Laura
January 8, 2011 at 12:25 am Permalink Reply

I love everything about this. Esp. number 16! I really really love the relationship that you guys have with each other. I read formspring questions on your tumblr and the friendship/hilarity cracks my shit up!

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wasteunit (member)
January 8, 2011 at 1:43 am Permalink Reply Report user

I feel like I’m the redacted from 19 even though that can’t be the case because I’m not an AS writer. I don’t like it when mommy yells.

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1. riese (member)
  January 8, 2011 at 3:07 am Permalink Reply
  
  it was totally an intern
  intern [redacted]
  
  1
  1. Emily (member)
    January 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    i feel like it was possibly me, i don’t know how to use punctuation or capital letters
    
    1
    1. riese (member)
      January 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm Permalink Reply
      
      no it wasn’t you emily
      
      1
Rachel (member)
January 8, 2011 at 2:26 am Permalink Reply

#23 was a GREAT email

obvs

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justlookinaround (member)
January 8, 2011 at 3:25 am Permalink Reply

this is a WIN obvs

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e
January 8, 2011 at 7:10 am Permalink Reply

the dixie chicks make me cry also, laneia

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1. vitaminb (member)
  January 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  me too
  
  1
  1. Rawrosaureins
    January 8, 2011 at 11:08 pm Permalink Reply
    
    Despite living in Texas, I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard even one of their songs. My dad banned them from our house after they talked crap about Prez Bush, supposedly.
    
    1
    1. smartypants (member)
      January 11, 2011 at 10:41 am Permalink Reply Report user
      
      Well that alone is reason enough to buy some of their songs using the Amazon link through the Autostraddle site !
      
      (omg, that was so good! — did anybody else see how I just did that?)
      
      1
Jules
January 8, 2011 at 8:40 am Permalink Reply

“CAPITALIZING LETTERS” may actually be the story of my online life. It’s not my fault Kanye West is the only person who capslocks more than I do, I’m just too awesome for lowercase.

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1. jveebs (member)
  January 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  THIS
  
  1
Ellen (member)
January 8, 2011 at 1:15 pm Permalink Reply Report user

#20 would be the subject of every email I ever sent ever if I worked here

1
terracottatoes (member)
January 8, 2011 at 1:50 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I’m surprised there’s no “Commenters are habitually hijacking threads to plan barbeques, must intervene, somehow”

but maybe you two like BBQ as much as we do.

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1. e
  January 8, 2011 at 2:43 pm Permalink Reply
  
  omg, bbq
  
  1
  1. wasteunit (member)
    January 8, 2011 at 3:18 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    lets plan a bbq without capitalizing letters or using punctuation
    
    1
2. dinosaur rex (member)
  January 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  can it be a korean bbq? i lived in seoul for a year and totally got my marinating skillz down.
  
  1
3. smartypants (member)
  January 10, 2011 at 9:03 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  omg, freakin asleep at the wheel re: BBQ….
  (dudes! why didn’t you wake me up?)
  
  Varsity BBQ Team is officially in pre-season training–so no going vegetarian or vegan. However, you may continue to date them.
  
  Also, next practice is coming up–I’ll email all y’all with the info.
  Will someone please have allie email me (apearldiver@gmail.com)–she did go out for the team, didn’t she…..?
  
  1
  1. terracottatoes (member)
    January 10, 2011 at 9:27 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    talk about asleep at the wheel, i sent you an ALL-CAPS email like seven and a half years ago
    
    I AM HANKERING FOR BARBEQUE OVER HERE.
    
    1
    1. Alice (member)
      January 10, 2011 at 11:00 pm Permalink Reply Report user
      
      whoa, whoa slow it down. Good things come to those who marinade.
      
      Besides drinking always starts before BBQing. So start drinking.
      
      1
      1. smartypants (member)
        January 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm Permalink Reply Report user
        
        yeah–start drinking or something, I’m flirting over here…
        
        1
      2. smartypants (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 10:12 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        (May I have the half rack with extra pun please?)
        
        1
        
        terracottatoes (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 11:37 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        what kind of ‘mo are you, asking for half racks? all the boobies or go home!
        
        wait, was that like a rack of ribs you were referencing? oh.
        
        1
4. Dani (member)
  January 10, 2011 at 10:51 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  haha. how many articles does this make now? given my organizational skills, I should probably keep count.
  
  note: avoiding capitalizing letters just now was really hard. I just can’t give on the punctuation, so I guess I’m half-way taking one for the team.
  
  1
  1. Alice (member)
    January 10, 2011 at 11:04 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    I can only speak for myself, but I think you would make a fine BBQ club secretary since I lack any organization skills.
    
    1
    1. smartypants (member)
      January 10, 2011 at 11:47 pm Permalink Reply Report user
      
      I second that—now, back to this really cute girl….
      
      1
      1. terracottatoes (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 12:03 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        it’s so weird that i haven’t been receiving your messages.
        
        1
        
        smartypants (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 10:08 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        Babe,
        Imma break it down for you…
        Good flirting may take hours–
        Great flirting may take all night…..
        
        Now smartypants, having awakened in a cloud of post-flirt happiness, will now be floating into her kitchen for coffee…..and to respond to your VERY LOUD AND WONDERFUL EMAIL.
        
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        terracottatoes (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 11:40 am Permalink
        
        i was making a joke about how i too am a cute girl (AHAHA ALSO A JOKE) but you were not flirting with me (playing a sad violin song nao) BUT apparently my joke was missed or not evident enough but ANYTHING IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO ANSWER IT, OBVIOUSLY I SPRAINED MY PINKY HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY THE ENTIRE TIME
        
        1
        
        wasteunit (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 1:15 pm Permalink
        
        Sometimes I think “hey, I’m going to type this one word here in all caps, no need to use the actual caps lock key” and before I know it, the whole damn sentence is being screamed, and I realize too late and just roll with the shifty.
        
        1
    2. Alice (member)
      January 11, 2011 at 12:13 am Permalink Reply Report user
      
      Sooo after finally catching up with some of smartypants comments I have just now realized that I actually do have the power to appoint/nominate you BBQ Secretary of Saucy Sparkles. Congratulations and welcome to the team. May your venn diagram of happiness and BBQ overlap substantially.
      
      1
      1. Dani (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 12:55 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        This is the best title. Evar. I’ve been on a lot of teams, but this one is by far the best.
        
        1
        
        Alice (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 2:59 am Permalink Reply Report user
        
        High five, just the sort of enthusiasm this grilling group of gals needs! I’m thinking for short you could always make it the enthusiastic looking: BBQSSS.
        
        1
        
        smartypants (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 10:11 am Permalink
        
        and sexy as hell I might add…
        
        (nicely done there Captain Clever with the command decision and all…:-)
        
        1
        
        wasteunit (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 1:13 pm Permalink
        
        I’m glad it’s not BBQSS because that would be a little too nazi for my liking.
        
        1
        
        Alice (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 1:32 pm Permalink
        
        Good call. That just goes against the whole nature of BBQ as a safe space in which women can boozily explore meat and marinade while playing with fire…and maybe each other.
        
        1
        
        terracottatoes (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 1:44 pm Permalink
        
        Our stuff is kosher, essentially.
        
        1
        
        smartypants (member)
        January 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm Permalink
        
        …….wiping her hands on her gaypron, “I can see we’re gonna need more beer…” she says with a laugh and smile….
        
        1
kd15 (member)
January 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I love 25 and am super curious about the fwd of tess’s voicemails in 23

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Carol Ann
January 8, 2011 at 6:32 pm Permalink Reply

Sister Spit is definitely more important than pants. Unless you have no pants…even then, you can always get by with skirts, shorts, leggings, etc.

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M
January 9, 2011 at 3:20 pm Permalink Reply

Of course you guys know lesbian teachers, or at least have thousands of them among your readership. I’m one, and I remember a handful commenting in the coming out at work post.

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1. moose
  January 9, 2011 at 8:41 pm Permalink Reply
  
  I am too! I need to go back to that article…
  
  1
2. riese (member)
  January 9, 2011 at 9:15 pm Permalink Reply
  
  i am going to send laneia an email about this
  
  1
  1. Dani (member)
    January 10, 2011 at 10:53 pm Permalink Reply Report user
    
    I’m an aspiring teacher. I don’t know if that actually helps, but I am here if someone needs me for something. Meanwhile, I’ll just keep telling everyone how awesome they are.
    
    1
Caffeine (member)
January 10, 2011 at 7:20 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I love it when polished pioneering media super-lezzers are revealed to be, at times, slapping it together like a drunk undergraduate with a paper due tomorrow.

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