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Listicle Without Commentary: Headlines Prepared for Losing Prop 8 Trial, or “The Art of Losing Inequality is Not Hard to Master”

riese

Posted by, , and

on August 12, 2010

Titles Prepared via Group G-Chat Between Rachel, Sarah, Laneia and Riese for Our Post on the Prop 8 Verdict, Which We Assumed We'd Lose

- August 4, 2010

1. Zen and the Art of Losing Your Marriage Rights
2. How to Lose Marriage Rights and Alienate Your Family
3. Problem Drinking, Therapy and Me: Living without Marriage Rights in 2010
4. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Inequality
5. The Brief Wondrous Life of Prop 8
6. The Unbearable Inequity of California
7. If You Have to Cry About Losing Your Marriage Rights, Go Outside
8. Life of H8
9. And the Heart Says Whatever Inequality
10. Merriam Webster's Dictionary of Rights You Don't Have Cause You're Gay
11. Are You There, Marriage? It's Me, Disenfranchised Gay Person
12. The Art of Happiness, Sans Equality
13. Bastard Out of California
14. The Perks of Being a Homosexual
15. Oranges Pretty Much Are The Only Fruit, 'Cause You're Not Getting Wedding Cake
16. Twilight: Inequality
17. One Hundred Years of Inequality
18. Equality, Interrupted
19. How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Enjoy Being A Second-Class Citizen

Right after that one, we won.

["listicle without commentary" title stolen from the awl]

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29 responses to “Listicle Without Commentary: Headlines Prepared for Losing Prop 8 Trial, or “The Art of Losing Inequality is Not Hard to Master””

  1. Special K
    Special K(member)
    August 12, 2010 at 10:54 pm ReplyReport user

    For Whom the Bells Won’t Toll

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  2. Ziggy Hreins
    Ziggy Hreins(member)
    August 12, 2010 at 10:57 pm ReplyReport user

    …And Justice for all.

    Thumb up 0
  3. Tipsy
    Tipsy
    August 12, 2010 at 10:59 pm Reply

    Friggin’ brilliant!

    Thumb up 0
  4. repeal8
    repeal8
    August 13, 2010 at 12:05 am Reply

    “Oranges Pretty Much Are The Only Fruit, ‘Cause You’re Not Getting Wedding Cake”

    HEH.

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  5. Xan
    Xan
    August 13, 2010 at 12:11 am Reply

    “Marriage on My Mind….NOT”

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  6. Dany
    Dany
    August 13, 2010 at 12:13 am Reply

    “And the Wedding Band Played On- Except for the Gays”

    Thumb up 0
  7. Brianna
    Brianna(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 1:21 am ReplyReport user

    I love these but I’m glad you didn’t have to use them.

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  8. breanna
    breanna
    August 13, 2010 at 1:41 am Reply

    Something about “Twilight: Inequality” makes me die laughing. Maybe its the weed I’m smoking. Or maybe its just funny. The world may never know.

    Thumb up 0
    1. Emily
      Emily(member)
      August 13, 2010 at 2:29 pm ReplyReport user

      no, it made me laugh too. and i’m not stoned.

      Thumb up 0
      1. riese
        riese(member)
        August 13, 2010 at 5:17 pm Reply

        that was mine, i’m REALLY funny and that’s why you laughed

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  9. Paper
    Paper
    August 13, 2010 at 5:56 am Reply

    It’s the optimism that carried us though.

    Thumb up 0
    1. Paper
      Paper
      August 13, 2010 at 5:57 am Reply

      through.

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  10. Frankie The Tankie
    Frankie The Tankie
    August 13, 2010 at 6:21 am Reply

    11. OH MY GOD 11!

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  11. KZ
    KZ
    August 13, 2010 at 9:08 am Reply

    “The Pride of the Prejudiced”?

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    1. Laneia
      Laneia(member)
      August 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm Reply

      nice

      Thumb up 0
    2. queermo
      queermo(member)
      August 13, 2010 at 2:54 pm ReplyReport user

      OMG YES

      Thumb up 0
  12. Ziggy Hreins
    Ziggy Hreins(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 9:19 am ReplyReport user

    The h8 locker

    Thumb up 0
    1. Ric
      Ric
      August 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm Reply

      love it

      Thumb up 0
  13. Sally
    Sally(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 9:43 am ReplyReport user

    I say “potato,” you say “fuck you, you can’t get gay married.”

    Thumb up 0
    1. e
      e
      August 13, 2010 at 1:10 pm Reply

      good one, haha

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  14. rrrrrrrredhead
    rrrrrrrredhead
    August 13, 2010 at 10:28 am Reply

    I like this. Because I am the kind of person that is really pessimistic about things, in an attempt to lower my expectations. Because then if something good actually happens, it is like 100 times better. And … I LOVE the fact that the headline is a play off “One Art.” I love Elizabeth Bishop. Hard.

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  15. bcw
    bcw
    August 13, 2010 at 2:28 pm Reply

    Californian Hearts of Darkness
    -
    Tripping the Velvet
    -
    The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love Who Could Not Get Married
    -
    Weathering Hates
    -
    Rubyfruit Bungle
    -
    -
    the ‘oranges’ one made me lol for real :)

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    1. Cassandra
      Cassandra(member)
      August 13, 2010 at 7:19 pm ReplyReport user

      Weahtering Hates! Wonderful.

      Thumb up 0
  16. Sally
    Sally(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 2:33 pm ReplyReport user

    If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair,
    But not as a bridesmaid at a gay wedding, because that is illegal.

    Something old, something new, something borrowed and anything else as long as it’s totally heterosexual.

    California Lesbians: Jilted at the Alternative Lifestyle Haircut

    The Marriage of Fagaros: from comedy to tragedy

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  17. Ziggy Hreins
    Ziggy Hreins(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 3:02 pm ReplyReport user

    California does not believe in tears.
    A day in a life of a second class citizen
    Gay rights year zero

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  18. queermo
    queermo(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 3:08 pm ReplyReport user

    Can I share my own funny too? Slightly related?

    Yesterday when we all were waiting for the ruling, which was supposed to be released at noon but was released late, I described Judge Walker as “Queer Rights Cocktease Extraordinaire.”

    And us, “ah baby! I’m blueballing for equality!! JUST THE TIP PLZ”

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  19. Aya
    Aya
    August 13, 2010 at 4:52 pm Reply

    I Left My Rights In San Francisco

    Better Than Wedding Cake (Or So You Tell Yourself Because You Can’t Have It)

    The Runaway Brides (To Iowa)

    Annie On My Mind, But Not On My Health Insurance Plan

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    1. bcw
      bcw
      August 13, 2010 at 8:09 pm Reply

      A+ on that last one

      Thumb up 0
  20. Jessica
    Jessica(member)
    August 13, 2010 at 6:08 pm ReplyReport user

    I probably should have told you all in advance that legally speaking, the grounds for granting a stay would have been pretty shaky, huh? Then there would be less humor in the world (no listicles), but also less anxiety.

    Sorry. Next time.

    Thumb up 0

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