Krisily Kennedy Bisexual: Star of World’s Straightest Reality TV Show Comes Out

I’m gonna just take a wild guess here: you’ve got no idea who Krisily Kennedy is.

Well, I’ll tell you: In 2005, Kennedy made it to the final two on the world’s most heterosexual television program of all time: The Bachelor. Not satiated by her Bachelor experience, Krisily Kennedy went on to appear in Bachelor Pad, which I believe is a show about what happens when your girlfriend kicks a bachelor in the nose and then uses a menstrual pad to stop the bleeding.

Well, yesterday Life & Style Mag, a bastion of journalistic integrity, revealed that Krisily Kennedy is bisexual.

She shared this information exclusively with Life & Style at the annual GLSEN Respect Awards in LA on October 21st. Krisily has since tweeted that she appreciates Life & Style’s “tasteful and respectful story.” There is so much respect going on!

Anyhoo, according to L&S, “she can no longer hide the fact that she dates men and women and that she began dating women three years ago.”

Krisily: I’m completely open to still dating men. For me, this is all very new, and I was lucky to have had my friends and family behind me… People have said, ‘Oh, she was on The Bachelor and she was Miss Rhode Island — why would she date women?’”

Krisily is 31 (Generation Catalano) and recently broke up with a girlfriend she’d been dating for a year.

Krisily: “I want to fall in love with anyone and I don’t care who they are. I just want love. I want long-term and I want commitment. I really want those things and if people open their hearts to it, you can find that with anyone.”

Krisily is a good kid: this former Miss Rhode Island 2003 has supported charities including The Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, The Station Family Fund and Susan G. Komen For the Cure and is presently working with GLSEN to make schools safer for all people.

Krisily:“I feel like there are teenagers unnecessarily killing themselves. I personally have never felt like that, but I’d like to be able to go in to schools and talk to kids to try and change their minds.”

 

Krisily wants to be a television host and her dream is to one day be on Ellen but right now is working as a full-time personal assistant or as an event planner, depending on which version of her bio you read. (There are two available on Krisily Kennedy dot com.)

Krisily’s life story involves the following events:

+ Krislily Kennedy won a scholarship to John Casabalanca’s Modeling School, wherein she gained “poise, confidence and self-esteem.”

+ Krisily has been in a “zillion parades.”

+ Krisily loves The Red Sox and worked as a host on The Red Sox’s pre-game show on NESN and that season they won The World Series, so. Basically she makes baseball teams win.

+ Krisily was born an only child to a single Mom. Krisily had ADHD as a kid and the teachers decided “the hallway was the only place [for her].”

+ “There were so many years I was so awkward and goofy, going back and forth, trying to be a tomboy and not really knowing what was next for me. I honestly don’t think I really knew who I was until much much later in life, which in most cases is true for all of us.

+ “Krisily is passionate about sharing her trauma and triumphs with other woman so that they too can become strong-minded independent women.”

So, kids, if you’re bisexual and someone questions your sincerity due to a healthy history of heterosexual exploits, you can now point out that a girl who made it to the final two on the world’s straightest TV program (really, it’s too straight for straight people) is bisexual. So.

She’s expressed her concern about the Gay Teen Suicide Epidemic and published a video last week on Spirit Day:

Krisily currently lives in West Hollywood, California. You know what that means.

I highly recommend Krisily’s tumblr, which is about shoes.

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Riese is the 32-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1734 articles for us.

219 Comments

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    give me a freaking break. there’s no need for a “bisexual” to “come out” unless they are in a same sex relationship. nice job giving this fool free publicity. there is no “coming out” if you will continue to date members of the opposite sex. no, you can’t come to cool kid party and then claim your privilege when needed. why are people like this celebrated?

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    Krisily:“I feel like there are teenagers unnecessarily killing themselves. I personally have never felt like that, but I’d like to be able to go in to schools and talk to kids to try and change their minds.”

    srs lulz. yeah, really important to distinguish all the teens who are unnecessarily killing themselves, from all those who are committing suicide out of necessity.

    so dumb, I can’t even.

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    yes, i read the article. working with GLSEN is great, and something i’m not taking issue with. this has nothing to do with her sexuality or her “coming out”. straight people work with GLSEN, too.
    i say people don’t need to come out unless they’re in a same sex relationship, or rather NOT dating the opposite sex, because they don’t NEED to. because to the world, they are straight, no explanation necessary. who cares about who they fantasize about in their heads. i know there are plenty of people who are attracted to either sex but live straight lives, and will continue living them. these people don’t need to come out nor do they need to identify with queer culture.
    “bisexual” people that feel the need to latch on to this so-called alternative culture for whatever reason and continue to live their straight lives in front of their families, co-workers, etc., and for their own sense of comfort, are self absorbed and irresponsible. this is pretty rampant among people who identify as “bisexual”. With female celebrities this seems to be the norm. For obvious reasons. i will continue bitching about them.

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      Ok “loopers,” I’m not totally convinced that you’re a real, sincere commenter, since you apparently felt the need to leave virtually the same inflammatory comment twice, but in case you are–what the fuck?
      I’m not sure what you mean when you say that bisexuals (no scare quotes necessary) don’t “need to identify with queer culture.” No one NEEDS to identify with queer culture–people identify with queer culture because it reflects who they are and because it’s a culture they feel comfortable in. Bisexuals are just as queer as the next queer person.

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      You are just awful.

      Why pretend to be straight if you’re not straight? Why let people assume it? So we can all make-believe the world is straighter than it is? Sorry, I prefer my world as queer as fucking possible.

      Why don’t you go back to your stupid, bi-phobic, heterosexist hole?

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      So basically you don’t like them because they get to live closeted lives so they shouldn’t get to come out? You say they’re irresponsible and, though its hard to tell, you seem to be saying that they are irresponsible for living as closeted straight people and then claiming this as a justification for being angry when they come out.

      The more people out the better. The more people out the more normalised queerness becomes. And do you know what? Once a bi person is out, to the people who are bothered by queers, even if they are in a het relationship they are still a queer. So basically they are giving up some of their privelige to raise visibility.

      Can I also point out she has just ended a long term relationship with another woman and so is clearly not one of the women celebrities who say they’re bi to look more interesting and then never date women. Coming out when a single bi person makes it easier to date as it lets people know you’re into multiple genders, meaning that they know they can approach you and also won’t run away screaming when they find out that you like the genders-they-are-not too.

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      “i say people don’t need to come out unless they’re in a same sex relationship, or rather NOT dating the opposite sex, because they don’t NEED to.”

      So, now this is confusing!
      I’m interested in men and women, but you say that because I’m not only interested in women, and not currently in a relationship with a woman, that I shouldn’t be open about being interested in women.
      Well…if I’m not out about being interested in women, how am I going to find women to date? If you want me to walk around saying I’m straight just because I’m not currently dating a woman, then I’ll never be able to date a woman. I want to date women, but, uh, that’s not going to happen if I have to walk around stating that I’m straight just because I’m not in a serious relationship with another woman. Because I’m pretty sure that lowers my chances by quite a bit.

      So what, you just want people who don’t identify as lesbians to ever be able to date women, or do you want us to try and find women to date without ever admitting to being into women…I’m REALLY confused here.

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        I’m telling you..Do what I’m doing..Use the “Hey you..I’m bisexual” as your standard greeting..So far the only close call was when the Girl Scout came to the door selling cookies..She seemed confused by it…But her Mom was totally interested!

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        i guess we are talking about different definitions of “coming out”. so given your situation you would find it logical to sit your family ’round and declare bisexuality? i’m not talking about letting women know that you’re into them. i’m saying it’s unnecessary to go through these obstacles if you’re a self-identified bisexual living a straight life. this has become a little off topic from the original article, as this lady has allegedly dated a woman for a year. the problem is with bisexuals who say they are bisexuals and continue dating opposite genders, almost exclusively, yet still want to latch on to the culture. that’s my point.
        you can call yourself whatever you’d like.

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          No a bisexual in a straight relationship doesn’t need to come out but doing so in their cases is actually a good thing because it raises visibility. They went through the obstacles when they didn’t have to and often they do it so as to be another out queer voice against all those people who say hardly anyone is queer, no one normal is queer etc. Also even if you live straight now being out is easier because it means not hiding your past. And as for being a bisexual who is not in a relationship yet, yes coming out to your family can make your life easier because it means you don’t have to be evasive about who you’re dating before you get into serious meet the parents territory. And also because being honest about yourself and your life is a good thing. Also what is this, latching on to culture? Bisexual women can and do enjoy many aspects of queer culture because they are queer, even if they are currently dating a man. They’re not tourists here to experience the exotic, to appropriate or fetishise us, they’re here to express that part of their identity. You don’t suddenly shut down your love of Tegan and Sara or your passion for gay rights just because you are dating a man.

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          “You don’t suddenly shut down your love of Tegan and Sara or your passion for gay rights just because you are dating a man.”

          this seems a bit contradictory. although possible for those specific examples, i would hope that one that encompasses allthingsgay would be satisfied in creating a gay life for themselves.

          also,
          “They went through the obstacles when they didn’t have to”
          why is this commendable?
          most gay people are forced to come out, whether they decide to or not. and then deal with the consequences. that’s commendable.

          people defending bisexuals with the argument that they get don’t get accepted on either side do not realize how easy bisexuals have it.
          cake and eat it too? sorry, but you get no respect.

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          I am not sure I actually follow what you’re saying but it seems to be that if you like your gay lifestyle and care about gay rights you won’t let yourself date men even if you are attracted to both men and women. I think that’s ridiculous. I’m sorry but I can’t think of a polite way to phrase that. People should not have to give up part of their identity in order to fit binary catagories. You also seem to be implying that if you love queer culture and feel for gay rights then you should be happy just living a gay life, as if the only reason to date a man is to get to live the het one. Which is insulting to everyone, people in gay and straight relationships.

          I think its awful for gay people who are forced to come out, especially when the consequences are awful. But your logic here, that choosing to face those consequences when you don’t have to in order to show support and solidarity and help make the world a more gay friendly place is somehow not commendable is frankly flawed. Purposely making your life harder in order to further a movement when you could just sit quietly and enjoy your privelige is commendable.

          And yeah, I used to date boys. So I do know “how easy” bisexuals who date men have it. None the less if people know you’re bi you still have it harder than straight women. And incidentally, despite being outed as a bi girl rather than a gay one, I was still outed against my will and it was fairly hellish. So it happens to bi people too.

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          There are apparently some gay people so obsessed with STRAIGHT PRIVILEGE that they covet not only the good parts (marriage, etc.) but also the worst parts. In this case: exclusionary tribal bullshit.

          I don’t intend to enlist with either the Jets or the Sharks. Fuck your street gangs. Let’s fucking dance already.

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          Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh…. Now i get it… First i thought you were mentally damaged… But now I understand… U were with a woman that told she was bi but that she wasn’t ready to come out so you were her little dirty secret… Then she dumped you for a guy and denied have ever been involved with you!

          So now you hate all bisexual persons and say they’re just faking it cause they want to hang out with us queer!!

          xD xD xD

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          Bisexuals can “need” to come out for many of the same reasons lesbians do–in order to be honest with their friends and family about who they are is probably the #1 reason. I mean, it seems like from your point of view, lesbians who aren’t currently dating anyone don’t “need” to come out, either.
          I really think that your hypothetical bisexual woman living a “straight life” (whatever that means) but participating in queer culture is just a straw man, but even if she’s not–is this really such a big problem? A bisexual woman dating men but involved in the queer world? Oh no, what is our community coming to?!?

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          “A bisexual woman dating men but involved in the queer world? Oh no, what is our community coming to?”

          i realize there are worse things in life and worse things for the gay community, but i guess here is where we differ, because i take issue with that circumstance. to each her own.

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          sometimes I think I live in a bubble.it’s when I am sure every queer person is just sublime and awesome and interesting and has great hair.
          but than I meet somebody like you. you might even have great hair but as a human being you blow.

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          (*then)
          (I do not want to undermine my position by straightening out a mistake I made so I’m just going to put this in brackets)

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          I did come out to my family. Figured it’d probably be best to get that out of the way since I intend to date women so as to avoid that potential drama whenever I got my first girlfriend. I really didn’t want to start dating women without being out- I’d much rather my first relationship with a woman be free of the whole coming out deal. I didn’t really think it would be fair for a future girlfriend to deal with the whole affair of me coming out if it turned out to be a difficult thing.
          And my friends don’t really care at all about my sexuality, so telling them only helps me on the meeting girls front.

          I’m not living a ‘straight’ life. I’m not in a relationship with anyone, I’m not dating anyone in any respect.

          You’re not doing a good job of backing up reasons I shouldn’t be allowed to come out and be open about my sexuality.

          Plus, uh, when I’m finally able to get out and about and get actively involved in the queer community, I’d really rather not do it while claiming just to be a “straight ally” when I’m actually queer. Last I checked, there was a “B” in even the most basic LGBT acronym.

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          @Loopers I’m sorry. I’m really really upset by this. Specifically, how you say that when a bisexual woman isn’t dating a woman, she is living a straight life. I’m bisexual. That means I will never live a straight life. I will always live a bisexual life. If I am dating a girl, am I living a lesbian life? No, I’m still living that same old bisexual life. I’m bisexual whether I am single, with a man, or with a woman. I’m 17. I just came out to some of my friends and family a few months ago. I’ve liked lots of girls and I finally had my first girl kiss this summer, but I haven’t had a relationship with a girl yet. So I didn’t come out out of “necessity”, the way you describe it–as in, because I was dating a girl and didn’t want to lie.

          But coming out for me felt like a necessity, because I didn’t want to hide the truth about who I was to people I loved. It was making me increasingly uncomfortable. Sexuality is still there even when we aren’t having sex, you know, so saying someone has no reason to come out unless they are currently doing a lady is a bit ridiculous.

          Also I just think you should know that everything you’ve written has made me want to cry, which is a great feeling on top of the anxiety over college applications I’m already feeling. Thanks.

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          Reading this made ME want to cry..You are so much stronger than I bet YOU even know! Your first “girl kiss”..(pausing to enjoy my own such memory)..Sigh…Ok..Hang in there..Don’t let the haters get you down..And hurry up with those college apps..Because when you get to college..The girl kisses and all that they lead to just get…better!

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          don’t cry! to continue my theme on this post *huuuuuug* here is a big internet bear hug! you are an awesome human being, you will get in to an awesome college, and you will continue being your awesome self! don’t sweat any bi-haters, all the cool queers think you’re awesome for digging chicks :)

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          I almost offered her one of your hugs..But didn’t think they were mine to offer..so kudos for great minds and all that

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          Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwww!!! You’re so cute but strong at the same time! Now i wanna hug you! ^^ like a little sis! ^^ *.*

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          Please don’t cry! For every mean person there are dozens who think you rule here! I wish you all the luck with college apps.

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          Lucinda – your approach to coming is a really healthy one! Coming out while single can really cut through some of the misunderstandings with family members, because there’s not a partner they can use as a scapegoat. I know that’s not always the way things work out, but it can make it so much easier. And you’re exactly right – you’re not living a “straight” life if you date someone of the opposite sex. And your dating pool amongst the opposite sex is just larger, so you may end up dating a nice boy instead of a nice girl. That would be lovely, and as far as I’m concerned you’re still “one of us.”

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          Actually… when I came out at seventeen, I did just that. I was in a relationship with a boy at the time, too.

          But maybe it’s okay because now I’m married to a woman. IDK.

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          yeah, I think this whole argument was flawed from the beginning, cause when I identified as bi and was in a straight long-term relationship I was so out, I was out to my frickin’ boyfriend at the time, too.

          so why would anyone think that a bisexual person wouldn’t feel the need to be out and open and honest, especially to their closest friends and relatives and partners?!

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          So by your logic, if I were to break up with my girlfriend and start dating a man, I would have to go back in the closet and stop attending Pride events and tell all my queer friends to take a hike. Is that it?

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          @loopers
          I obviously don’t have to explain myself to anyone, especially not to you, but I feel like this might help your understanding from my prospective.

          I am a bisexual woman and I have come out to my family. Were they trilled about it? No, not at all, but I still did it. (Mind you I was, still am, in a heterosexual relationship at the time) Why? Because I didn’t want to have to hide a part of myself from my family and I wanted to let them know that I do not approve of their homophobic comments and that in fact I am quiet offended by it, much like how I am now offended by your biphobic comments.
          Yes, I’m in a heterosexual relationship at the moment, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love women and will always love women (not going to lie, Krisily is super sexy).
          Stop judging people by your own misconceptions and maybe go out and learn to be more accepting, I mean isn’t that what we all want in this world anyways, for people to accept us for who we are.

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      coming out is important for ANY queer individual. you don’t think that this step is necessary for bisexuals as well? you don’t think that it’s possible that a bisexual girl can struggle with her attraction to women and desire relief and acceptance and all of those good things that (hopefully) come from coming out?

      sometimes i almost think that bisexuals have it worse than gays. bisexuals will perpetually be misunderstood when they claim that they don’t have the “choice” of who they love to their families (and to people like you, clearly). i know for a fact that it’s much easier on me to know that after time, my family had to give up the ‘maybe she’ll just fall in love with a guy’ idea… this hope potentially never goes away for family members of bisexuals. you’re rejecting the concept of sexuality as a spectrum, just so you know.

      BESIDES… how many of us were “bi now, gay later” anyways? of course, it doesn’t always happen that way, but i’m just sayin… *raises hand*

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      I hate it when trolls pretend like they’re invited to our cool kids party. I wish they would just quiet down and go on living their privileged troll lives. Don’t feed them. Don’t feed them any of our delicious gluten free goodies.

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    I was actually responding to the replies on my initial post, but replied to whole article instead. my fault.
    bisexuals that don’t live an actual queer life don’t need to identify with queer culture. yes, some people NEED to identify with queer culture. by that i mean- interacting with queers, reading gay blogs, going to the local dyke bar, etc. “bisexuals” (believe me, quotes are needed in this instance) living tangibly straight lives don’t need these outlets to communicate with like minded people- i.e. queers, because their lives do not reflect or become entangled with the culture.

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      Now I’m even more confused..Is it only ok to state she’s bisexual when she’s involved w/ a woman? But when she is dating a man she should not talk about her sexual fluidity? Are you honestly suggesting that on the occasions when a bisexual is not in a same-sex relationship they are not allies and not able to identify as such? It strikes me that you are being a bit harsh in your judgement, and I get the sense you’re of the “you’re either one of “us” or you’re not so pick a team!” camp. And if that’s the case..This makes me sad

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      ok, so i don’t really care, but you did read that she just got out of a one year relationship with a woman right? not that it is anybody’s place to judge either way, but she isn’t just a hypothetical bisexual or something. the woman dates women, as well as men, hence the bisexual label. it shouldn’t matter either way, but it seems to me that she wants to be open with people, partially to allow her to be somebody that bullied kids can look up to and relate with, and also i’d suspect to allow her to openly date women and not feel like she needs to sneak around.
      i think you need a hug. you sound like you could use a hug. if you’re anywhere near morocco, let’s meet up so i can give you a hug.

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      By your logic nobody should ever come out unless they’re in a relationship because “to the world, they are straight, no explanation necessary. who cares about who they fantasize about in their heads.” Right? How is it different for lesbians? Or gay people in general? Also, bisexuality is not about “fantasizing”, it’s an identity. Just like any other sexual orientation identity.

      A large point of coming out is for visibility, in other words to make other people see that NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT. Assuming everyone is straight is stupid.

      COME OUT COME OUT EVERYONE!!!

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    I think what Loopers is trying to say is that just because you identify with a certain culture, doesn’t necessarily make it “News” . Say I’m white, and grew up in a predominantly African American neighborhood, and identify more with that culture than a white culture.( Remember this is just for metaphorical purposes PC’ers) Is it necessary for me to “come out” to everyone and tell them I’m not White but Blite, or Whack? No. Especially when I’m still living in the same “HOOD” as it were?
    Ya’ll are a bunch of touchy motherf#ckers, who basically wanna bash anyone who doesn’t subscribe to your ideas. A little HYPOCRITICAL no? Besides, Opinions are like A$$holes, EVERYBODY has one, so get over yourselves.
    That said, Loved the “Hey You, I’m Bisexual”. I don’t know how many times I’ve been in a social situation where I tell people I’m gay and @ least one person chimes in and says “I’m bisexual!” Like that makes us part of the same club.

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      But being white and living in a black neighborhood would not make you black whereas being bisexual makes you…bisexual. It’s not just that she likes the label so she’s going to say she’s bisexual when she’s not…she actually, literally, IS bisexual.

      So um, what you said just didn’t make any sense.

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        My point is that they are all just labels. What is White? What is Black. A color of skin? A culture? If you don’t want to label anything or anybody then why are you trippin on whether Looper thinks it’s not really newsworthy. Like I said A$$holes…

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          Oh and bi the way–You might want to ask ALL the Bi-sexuals who I’ve slept with and who are still very near and dear to me, how much of a hater I am. Oh and all of my Gay ,straight, bi, queer, trans, homo, flaming, friends too. Some of you really need to get on some anger management program. Opinions people. So quick to get out your little shields and swords, when you don’t even know who you’re fighting with, cuz it sure the hell isn’t me.
          I don’t care who anyone is sleeping with, but just because we may share an attraction for the ladies, doesn’t mean we’re instant friends for that reason only.

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          Er who is angry here? I’m not the one going around calling everyone “assholes” and “haters”. You’re really silly.

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          You’re adorable. I really want to go to Morocco now, and I’m not even sure where it is. I’ll find you on a map Morocco, wait for me!

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          Aw Willis. Everything you’ve said on this post is cute and funny. I bet your hugs are worth the price of a trip to Morocco :)

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          so, AUTOSTRADDLE PARTY AT MY HOUSE! everybody who comes gets a hug!

          also, morocco is in north africa.

          also also, while it is a homophobic country, public displays of affection between people of the same sex are EXTREMELY common. men walking down the street holding hands is a sight i see daily. just your fun fact for the day.

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          Its not about whether or not she thinks its newsworthy, its about her reasons for not thinking its newsworthy. Which are really biphobic and fairly cruel. Also no one said it was about not labelling people. By defending bisexuals rights to exist and even, *shock* be a part of the community we are not being assholes. You are misinterpreting what this whole thing is about.

          And no, being bisexual and wanting that acknowledged are nothing like being white and having grown up with black culture and wanting to be called black. An actual comparable experience related to your metaphor would be my friend who is mixed race black and Jewish but has white skin and blonde hair. She has a right to be called black because, you see, even though she may not look it she is black. Or, hell, even my growing up wanting the English and the Irish to acknowledge I had a right to be a part of both communities is an actual working comparison. Because I was English and Irish and both groups told me I wasn’t a part of their group, which left me feeling like I wasn’t as real a person as people from non mixed backgrounds. It is no fucking fun being told you are a non person because you have an identity that incorporates aspects of more than one group.

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          finally a sane response. My metaphor may not have been airtight, and I am in no way saying bi-bashing is acceptable, but she DOES have a right to how she feels about it, and having her own opinion. We don’t have to agree with it, but there it is.

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          No one’s saying she doesn’t have a right to say what she believes. She has a right to say what she thinks and we have a right to disagree with her. That’s all that’s going on.

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          You say you aren’t saying bi-bashing is acceptable, yet you defend a bi-basher’s right to bi-bash. Strange.

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          finally a sane response. My metaphor may not have been airtight, and I am in no way saying bi-bashing is acceptable, but she DOES have a right to how she feels about it, and having her own opinion. We don’t have to agree with it, but there it is.
          I don’t know how old/young some of you are, but soon enough you’ll realize the only opinion that matters is your own. It does make it easier to be accepted if the place you live in is accepting, and I agree that everyone who comes out is brave and should do so, no matter what their identity. The more the better, but having an opinion shouldn’t be a crime.
          How many of you have had to have patience and compassion for your own family members when you came out??? Everyone is learning at their own rate, and just because they may not see things as you do at the time, doesn’t mean they never will. But harsh words, are never going to help the cause.
          And I said OPINIONS are LIKE A$$holes, everyones got one.

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      I am utterly confused why you are so down on her BEING A BISEXUAL LADY INTERESTED IN DATING LADIES. What? Also your analogy is bullshit, I can’t even fathom it. Also, you are the one doing the bashing, not any of us… How would you expect a bisexual to respond if you tell them “hey, you don’t matter/exist.” It’s people like you who make bisexuals not WANT to come out and get frustrated with the queer community. Jesus Christ.

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      That’s not the same….at all. The correct metaphor would be if you were mixed (African American and White). The scenerio you gave makes it seem like she never went with/liked girls at all. Any-who back to the story…because you look African American and live in a predominatly African American people may mistake you for only being one race. If that is the case I have no problem with you saying “I am mixed”.

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      I’m imagining you in a clubhouse with a sign that says “NO BISEXUALS ALLOWED” right now.

      I’m not currently in a relationship with a woman (I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half), and I do date men sometimes…I guess I’m not queer enough for your special club. It doesn’t sound like a very fun club anyway.

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          I don’t think it’s a Bi-Sexual filter you need, I think it’s an “I’m so PC, I don’t even remember Who or What I am fighting anymore, because I can’t even IDENTIFY myself w/o LABELING myself, and really I’ve just got this axe to grind, and ran out of my anti-axe to grind pills, cuz I’m angry at the world and everyone who’s trying to tell me who I am and what I am, and since I’m so PC that I’m lost in this wilderness of unidentification and can’t find myself in any mirror that I look into, I’m gonna lash out at someone who is unidentifiable on the internet for expressing their fifth amendment rights to state their own opinion on what is and isn’t newsworthy to them.

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          Ok seriously. No one is saying she has no right to express her opinions on what is newsworthy and otherwise. However everyone else has a right to respond and when she expresses biphobic opinions a lot of people are going to respond with criticism. But no one has been as aggressive in this conversation as you have so I don’t understand why you’re insisting we’re all so angry and raging.

          And I at least am fairly clear who I am fighting. Its anyone who tries to negate anyone elses identity or to exclude people based on their identity or who otherwise expresses bigoted statements that hurt people.

          And again, no one is trying to stop her expressing her opinion. Insisting that this is what other people expressing their opinions right back amounts to is a traditional silencing tactic.

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          You’re thinking of the first amendment. The fifth amendment guarantees the right to due process of the law in the case of a criminal trial, among other things.

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          1. the first amendment protects people from being prosecuted by the government for saying things, even anti-government things. it was created because in most countries — then and now — people could be persecuted simply based on what they said. so yes, we can speak our minds and not get arrested for it (though Occupy Oakland may have proven otherwise last night). that’s what the first amendment protects you from. it doesn’t protect you from commenters disagreeing with you on a website.

          2. you guys, i just made a bunch of pictures, why does this have to turn into another argument that’s not-constructive? can we all just stop it? please? just stop responding to the ppl who started the fight and it will end.

          3. as for why people come out, i think that one advantage to coming out when you live in west hollywood and just broke up with your girlfriend and have been tweeting w/Real L’ers is that it increases your chances of getting laid.

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          to be honest i’m just coping with the disappointment from seeing “107 comments” and realizing that they weren’t all comments praising the journalistic integrity of this piece

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          i know, right! already read the article (hilarz), came back expecting some witty responses, but now i’m wondering if maybe there’s a glitch in the internetz and this is actually the After Ellen comment board. SOMEONE CALL MAX SO HE CAN TEACH ME ABOUT THIS WORLD WIDE WEB. I’M CONFUSED!

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          omg rofl @ afterellen board. LOOKS LIKE THE FLOODGATES TO HELL HAVE OPENED, and the biphobic army of sauron has arrived.

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          Sorry, Riese. Is there a Nobel Prize for journalism? The Nobel wiki was tl;dr. If there isn’t one, the unparalleled eloquence of this work of sheer brilliance dictates that we contact the Swedes and demand they create one. Named after you. Or maybe you, Krisily, and Evan Rachel Wood.

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          no i don’t think there is a nobel prize for journalism, i hope there isn’t because it’s funnier this way. like that’s part of the joke. but maybe it is. idk

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          Umm..Ok..But I think we’ll need to come up with a cute little nickname for that ‘cuz it’s quite a mouthful there..

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          Since Autostraddle seems pretty opposed to hatred and intolerance of queer people I feel like that’s pretty unlikely.

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          my only question is, if you think that only out and out lesbians should be a part of the queer community, and you are ballsy enough to say that outright, and bash bisexuals like it is your job, why are you not brave enough to comment with your autostaddle account?

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      Um. So to resolve like all these comments.

      Every time a woman/especially a vaguely famous one says, “hey, I like fucking women,” the world becomes an easier place for me to live in.

      And I’m a grown ass, confident woman. Forget about me. Every time someone does that the world becomes an easier place for terrified kids and closeted adults to exist in.

      So fuck yeah, bisexuals should be out. The allies should be “out”. The people who think I should get married/stay employed/adopt kids should fucking say so. Come on out. The queers want you.

      but please cut your nails. damn girl.

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    In today’s society, if a person thinks they could possibly end up in a same-sex relationship, in my book, that is pretty queer. Your average hetero-identifying person would never even view that as an option. Ever. I agree what was said above about wanting the world to be as queer as possible; that means the more people who come out, the better. I don’t care how you identify, who you’ve already slept with, or if you have the ability to “pass.” Queer is queer. I don’t get where the problem is.

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    Oh man, this thread embodies everything I love about this place. On a certain other major girl-on-girl site biphobia always seems to get a free pass, but not here. Stay angry and awesome, Autostraddle. <3

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    I had to read this post twice to really get what it was about. Because surprise surprise, pictures of a pretty girl in tight clothing saying HEY YOU I’M BISEXUAL seem to turn off the part of my brain that comprehends written text.

    p.s. this post was genius start to finish.

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    you know what i need to ask? how did so many people notice her fingernails? i was definitely NOT looking at her fingernails. jeez, that makes me sound like some objectifying asshole. whatever, she is extremely attractive, and since she has stated she is bisexual i don’t need to do the fingernail test :)

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    Riese, I think you’ve just inspired my coming out on Facebook.
    I will photoshop a whole bunch of pictures of myself a la Krisily and then just make an album and tag all my friends.
    It’ll look just like this post too since I usually pose on old trucks while wearing my 1940s ‘do…
    Also, my grandma is on facebook so this would reach ALL the people.

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    This post is my new favorite post. Too funny.

    There are two dogs and a security cop background creepin’ (that’s what the kids call it, right?) though, so she might wanna hire new photographers… or at least bring the dogs to the forefront, just saying.

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    I loved this, Riese. It made me laugh and then I read all the comments and they made me sad. Now I will have to go stare at the picture of Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual to make myself feel better. I mean, that’s what you put it in there for, right?

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    Another brilliant meme. I need to get more of my offline friends involved in AS so I can start quoting ALL THE FUNNY STUFF!!

    I always get ecstatic when super hot ladies come out as queer, like somehow that makes ME even sexier because I play on the same team as sexy ladies.

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      Obv, you didn’t read the comment thread, since it established very thoroughly that
      a) Dismissal of bi people is very much an unwelcome minority opinion in these parts,
      b) This lady has a documented history of dating and fucking ladies, and
      c) Being with (even marrying) someone of the opposite sex does not undo queerness.

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      Well, yeah, 10 to 1 she’ll be married to a dude – her dating pool on that side is bigger, so the odds are just that way. That isn’t her fault or anyone else’s. But that doesn’t mean she can’t inspire some gay and bisexual teen girls to think well of themselves and not be so afraid.

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        Newsflash, our experiences shape our view of things and way too many lesbians have had the same experience where bisexuals are concerned for people to claim that this shit is simply a coincidence. Don’t make it out to seem as if lesbians are the ones being irrational when they are just tired of the bullshit that bisexuals pull. I don’t know about anyone else, but it’s sure as hell not fun to be made to feel inadequate, and bisexuals have mastered the art of making lesbians feel like shit. I don’t need a study to prove that bisexuals tend to end up with men, hell even most bisexuals admit it. Of course they’ll try and make it sound like its not their fault by claiming its a matter of numbers or some bullshit like that, but the reality is that they can’t resist that hetero privilege. Like it or not bisexuals bring this shit on themselves.

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          No one is saying that lesbians as a group are irrational.

          Individual biphobic lesbians like you are. Biphobia = hate/bigotry which is by nature irrational.

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    I like how yesterday I saw one comment, and giggled at this whole post, and I come back and the SECOND comment is not very nice.

    More women who sleep with women=good. More women for me to (theoretically) sleep with! :) PRIORITIES PEOPLE.

    also, the nails? Yeah, I see it…I would probably hand her a pair of clippers if she made her way to my bedroom.

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    I love people who think freedom of speech means “I can say what I want and everyone else has to shut up.” In other words freedom of speech for one side, and not the other. Disagreeing isn’t censorship, god. This thinking is so common that it’s depressing. I don’t think people who believe this are really thinking it through.

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    And when my name is Lizz Kennedy, if I’m still living in Boston, people will think I’m “A Kennedy!” Guys, I don’t think we’ve properly recognized how awesome this is going to be. You know, for me.

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    Riese – this article is all kindsa awesome. THANK you :)

    I just want to throw in my two cents re the commment backlash. I am a bisexual woman. I have had a few relationships with women, but more relationships with men due to being uncomfortable with my sexuality while I was younger. However I am way more sexually attracted to women than men – like 80/2. My being bisexual does not mean I am “half straight half gay” it means I am wholly bisexual.
    While I acknowledge straight privilege definitely exists, I have been on the shitty end of that privilege too, and when I “benefit” from it, it feels like I am lying, like I am invisible, like my identity is being erased by others.
    I bear the brunt of negatives from both sexualities. As a female my bisexuality is fetishized, ridiculed, disbelieved.

    Yet, at the same time, I feel this huge guilt for being in a straight relationship for the past two years. Because hey, guess what, Loopers? what happens to gay girls in terms of abuse for their partner/preference has happened to me too. It has impacted my life too. Albeit in different ways, it still does… and so my being percieved as not part of that community DOES matter to me.

    THATS why I came out. Not because I am “an ally”; because I AM a QUEER person too. The issues affecting lesbians affect me too. There is no “what if” as in “what if you want to marry a man” because the fact is I am still a part of the community they (the ‘phobes) are discriminating against – whether I like it or not, or you like it or not. It’s the same as trans* people being denied a place in feminist spaces – when the issues feminists fight against affect trans* people too, albeit in a different way, the cause and effect is still one and the same.

    And who comes out purely for practical reasons? I’m pretty sure that there’s a desire to come out so that your loved ones can love you back for who you really are. And being bisexual doesn’t mean that when you are in a het relationship you are straight or a gay relationship you are lesbian. It means that you are inherently a part of both sexual cultures, and no one is going to tell me otherwise.

    I want to thank everyone who stood up against loopers because their response made me feel really sad and angry. I’m glad that Autostraddle stands up against bi-phobia. We’re queers too. x

    ps sorry this is so long.

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    Evidence of Riese’s journalistic accomplisment:

    The tiny “REAL” in the background of the picture with the truck.

    IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW, RIESE(/INTERN GRACE? IDK WHO DID WHAT BUT YOU BOTH ROCK), YOU KNEW THE BIPHOBIA WAS COMING AND WITH YOUR AMAZING INSIGHT BECAUSE YOU’RE THE BEST JOURNALIST(S) EVER YOU PUT THAT THERE ON PURPOSE DIDN’T YOU

    IT’S LIKE YOU’RE PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING

    okay I feel like this is actually really cool and I’m a little sad it’s going to be buried under like 208 other comments that people got tired of looking at

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    @ Loopers

    As a bisexual woman I can tell you that half of my journey to fully coming out was getting over the hurdle of not caring what narrow minded people like you thought. Hearing things, even in a joking manner like “ah pick a side already”, “greedy” made me feel minimalized and like I was crazy. Why couldn’t I just be gay or straight? Is there something terribly wrong with me?. You see Loopers your words are not only hypocritical, they’re cruel.

    Your qualifications for coming out are simply ludicrous and if I never found the courage to come out I may have actually acted on the suicidal thoughts that loomed from the depression caused from being in the closet. Suppressing something, hiding a part of yourself, no matter how you choose to express it is never healthy and is also a desservice to your soul. Why are you denying someone the basic human need for self-actualization? Why would you want to keep anyone closeted? I also don’t understand why your agenda for equality is so one-dimensional? We’re all just human beings who want to love and be loved. I hope one day your heart softens enough to see that by limiting anyone’s experience to express themselves, straight gay, bi, etc. that you’re putting not only a hole in their soul, but yours as well.

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    Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. The truth hurts sometimes. Deal with it.

    Ever notice how these “bisexual” women never come out when they’re actually dating these women? Instead, it’s “Oh noes, I totally dated women!” and then they run off and jump on the first available dude. Yeah, I’m gonna be skeptical. You don’t get to say “I’m in the cool club!” and then run back to your straight privilege world as soon as possible. I’d be impressed if any of these women actually came out publicly with a girlfriend.

    At least she does us lesbians a favor by actually calling herself a bisexual (which is pretty much the same thing as straight in my eyes) instead of hiding behind terms like “will love people regardless of gender” or worse calls herself lesbian then dates guys.

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    It’s really fun when lesbians announce how biphobic they are and make me even more anxious about pursuing a woman on the off chance that she’ll decide that just because I’ve dated men, I’m the same thing as straight.
    I’m going to really make you mad now, because I am attracted to people regardless of their gender! Woohoo. I don’t do the whole “Oh I don’t see gender” crap but gender’s not going to keep me from pursuing someone, because I’m attracted to men, women, and people who identify as both, neither, or in between.
    U mad?

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    Didn’t Cynthia Nixon come out as bisexual when she was dating a woman (who she’s still with)?

    But maybe they are coming out as bisexual so they can get laid by women, like Riese suggested. As a femme woman who likes men and women and is never read as queer, I pretty much have to announce my queerness loudly whenever there’s a girl around I’m interested in. Like, hi, my name is Louvella, how are you, I’m great, I spent my day listening to Tegan and Sara and thinking about having sex with women, etc.

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    No, your warped version of reality isn’t the truth. And people who think like you are the ones causing the hurt. You are a member of a marginalized community, and yet you are spreading misinformation and causing pain to other members of a marginalized community. This makes you the worst kind of hypocrite.

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    Now I feel less alone about dropping “casually” the “I listened to tegan and sara”.
    This is a problem too. I never know when someone says she likes tegan and sara if the subliminal message is I let’s share lady kisses.
    But the lady in question likes even Bikini Kills. How can she be straight?

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