Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #6: Sex and The City 2

It will come as no surprise to you that Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard did not enjoy Sex and the City 2. It will also come as no surprise to you that their re-enactment is ten bajillion times better than the actual film.

Sex and the City 2, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon the lesbian, Kristin Davis, Kim Catrall and a bunch of dudes, has been critically panned by everyone except Alexi Melvin, most notably in this review from The Stranger: “SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it’s my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.”

And here we have two grown women playing with themselves, and the results are glorious!

Yes, Autostraddle.com had a serious hosting situation this weekend which we have since remedied for a price equivalent to a trip to Abu Dabi (help!), but who cares really WE HAVE JULIE GOLDMAN LORDESS OF COMEDY AND BRANDY FUCKING HOWARD, QUEEN OF BEER COMMERCIALS here to finger Michael Patrick King’s asshole for you!

Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.

Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work, based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.


in-article-A-plus-banner

Profile photo of julie and brandy

has written 20 articles for us.

39 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    This is hilarious.

    These things made me laugh, a lot:

    “none of them do coke? not one of them does any coke,”

    “not like shutter island, haha.”

    “look it even killed Nacho, look at him he’s dead.”

    “ya, it’s called vicoden and percocet and alcohol.”

    Unrelated, remember the time when Jed took both vicoden and percocet? –

    Bartlet: Toby. Toby, Toby, Toby. Toby’s a nice name, don’t you think?

    But I digress.

    This was hilarious. The impersonations were unbelievably spot on awesome.

    And the editing, mad props.

    To the Left!

    Love it.

  2. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    “Single Ladies? Hold on let me check…. it’s over.”

    Kinda wanted to hear Julie pontificate more on Aiden – maybe in the DVD extras!

  3. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    yes. yeeesssss. this is what i needed. i’ve never seen a single episode of SATC b/c it looked so incredibly obnoxious and also i didn’t have HBO, so.

    what if, when things go wrong, we get on a conference call with julie and brandy and just talk about movies and fisting? can that be a thing? OH WAIT – GENIUS IDEA: we could offer this as a service and charge people! then autostraddle, like celine dion’s heart, could go on and on.

  4. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    and another episode i loved. The wig & pita were my absolute favs lol

    on another note, thanks for being back Autostraddle. i was really worried/scared when you weren’t here. and i cant go through that again, and to show you how serious i am, a pinky promise must be made. because no one/thing/website EVER breaks a pinky promise. That stuff is LEGIT.

  5. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    hahaha. yay a new episode!

    Well sad to say i loved the movie haha. but i was a big sex and the city fan, so id pretty much love it if it was the worst movie ever. but i also loved your re-enactment! :)
    i HATEEE Big he’s the biggest douche ever, i duno why the hell shes with him. plus i dont like Carrie. shes really annoying.

    My favorite part was Julie as Charlotte hahaha. i had to rewind it coz i was laughing to hard to hear it.
    xx

  6. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    I’m so glad that after watching this amazing recap I feel as though I do not have to actually sit through this rubbish. Thanks Julie and Brandy and Nacho!

  7. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    If I ever run into the girl who made me watch this show with her in the later seasons I’m going to throw the god damned dvd boxed set her head. but then there was that one girl who liked to bang after every episode from season 1. So conflicted.

  8. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Once again, thank you Julie and Brandy for “telling it like it is with this movie!” You guys really make a great team -kind of like nooks and cranny’s in an english muffin! p.s. loved the camel!

  9. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    Are we ready for the next Sex and the City?

    I THINK SO!!
    Sex and the City 2 proves the market is still hungry to follow a women’s journey about life, love, friendship and sex. And we’ve been on this journey way before Sex and the City started in 1998. But can the creators of Sex and the City take it any further with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda or have they exhausted these stories and are ready to pass the martini to someone new?

    I THINK SO!!
    Party Girl Plus One is a web series that follows “Jen”, a 30 something divorcee whose abandoned her previous dating criteria and will date anyone and everyone until she finds her true Plus One. Chronicling each date in her dating diary, Jen uncovers a journey about life, love and self discovery. v

    Check out this hilarious episode as Jen encounters a “girls night out” that ends up being a “girls night in”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbX8Vo9HtSE

    http://www.partygirlplusone.com

    xo

  10. Thumb up 0

    Please log in to vote

    HAHAHAAA this was the best one ever. the samantha dick montage was hilarious. i love that julie played every character except for carrie that was prime

    ALSO i can’t believe you didn’t mention charlottes bangin irish (scottish?) nanny who didn’t wear a bra. yesss

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.